He was surrounded by faces, voices. All pointing, glaring, taunting him. Blaming him.
Sirius' eyes staring at him, accusing. Percy, shaking his head in disgust. Professor McGonnagal, who looked so betrayed....
Draco's face in the crowd.
"Draco! You know, right? You know it had to be done."
A smirk, with cold, glacier-gray eyes. 'Did it, Potter?'
"But...you said...."
'And you believed me? Surely you know better than that by *now*, Potter....' His mocking laughter filled Harry's ears as he disappeared-as everyone disappeared, leaving him alone in a featureless black void.
"No...." Harry shook his head. "It's a lie...it *has* to be...." He looked down at his hands.
They were covered in blood.
With a scream, Harry began clawing at his hands, trying to remove the blood, but it was of no use...it just kept appearing....
**********
Draco slipped into the Hospital wing quietly, making for Harry's bedside. He had only had a few hours of sleep himself, but he felt the need to be near Harry, to hold him.
As he approached the curtained-off bed where Harry lay, Draco heard screaming. A horrible sound, like someone was having their soul ripped from their body. The scream gave Draco pause for a moment, until Madam Pomfrey rushing by drove home the thing he had wanted to deny.
It was Harry screaming.
Bolstered into action, Draco ran, unsure of what he could do, but knowing that he wanted to be near Harry. When he bust through the curtains, he saw Madam Pomfrey trying her best to restrain Harry...who was tearing into his flesh, screaming all the time.
After a moment of struggle, the mediwitch got Harry's arms into restraints, but he continued screaming. Turning, she caught sight of Draco. "You shouldn't be here!"
"I think otherwise," Draco countered. "I want to help."
"Then stay with him while I get a sedative-I dare not use magic on him in this condition!" Madam Pomfrey misinterpreted the look on Draco's face. "It's safe, I assure you-he can't break those restraints-"
"No, it's not that." Draco moved to stand beside Harry. "Go. I'll be here." He watched the woman leave, and as soon as she was gone, Draco sat on the bed and touched Harry's face. "Harry, it's me, it's Draco. You're all right. Please, Harry, it's all right, just wake up, come on, it's Draco-"
Harry's screaming tapered off. "Draco?" he asked hoarsely.
Draco smiled with relief. "Yes, it's me. You were having some sort of night terror."
"No." Harry shook his head, eyes wide. "It wasn't-it's the truth. It's my fault."
"What is?"
"Percy-"
"No, Harry. No one forced him to do what he did."
"Sirius-he died. In my arms, he died. Told me it was worth it as long as I lived. How many, Draco? How many lives were destroyed in my name? Percy, and Charlie, when Voldemort tried to enslave the dragons. Sirius. Remus, whose grief is so powerful that no one is sure he'll recover. The Dursleys, whose only crime was to have been my family. How many others were there, Draco? How many names don't I know?"
"Harry...." Draco blinked back tears, and started when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Snape was standing behind him, a potion in his hand. Silently, Draco moved out of the way, and Snape took his place.
"Oh, Harry." He smoothed back the young man's sweat-soaked hair. "None of that was your fault."
"It was...maybe I could've...people trusted me to keep them safe."
Snape frowned. "I never thought it was right," he said after a moment of reflection, "that everybody pinned their hopes and dreams on you. You're only sixteen, Harry, far too young to have the responsibility of a whole world placed on your shoulders, a burden that never should've been yours. It was too much to ask of anyone, let alone a child." He sighed. "And now you're paying the price."
"I never asked for it, Professor," Harry whispered, looking away. "I never asked for it, but it was given to me, despite what I wanted. I tried to serve them, I really did...but I failed so many people...so many...."
"Harry." Harry didn't react. "Harry, look at me." Snape gripped Harry's chin, turned his face so that Snape's eyes were locked with Harry's. "None. Of. It. Was. Your. Fault.," he said slowly, enunciating. "The Weasleys, Black...they knew death was a risk when they fought against Voldemort. Lupin...he is depressed, but he *can* recover. Even your family was at risk for no other reason than the fact that they were Muggles. You might not believe me now, Harry, but you have to try-it wasn't your fault!"
Harry blinked back tears. "I'll try," he said, his voice shaky and uncertain-sounding.
Snape patted Harry's leg. "That's all we can ask. Now, if you'll take this," he held up the vial he was holding, "you can get some more rest."
"No, please!" Harry flinched back. "I don't like the way they make me feel-I can't escape my dreams and what they say."
"I'll mix you up some Dreamless Sleep, then. Careless of me-I should've thought of that on my own. But you need rest, need to relax."
"Can-" Harry paused. "Can Draco stay with me? He makes me feel...better."
"Do you want to stay. Draco?" Snape asked, turning to regard his student.
Draco nodded. "It'll...make me feel better, too," he said, feeling a little lame but not caring.
"Don't overtire yourselves, either of you. If sleep comes, let it." Snape looked at Harry. "You need to sleep, to heal." Casting a last look at the boys, he slipped away, leaving them to their privacy.
Harry looked at Draco, carefully reached up to touch his hair, stroke his cheek. "You did it again," he marveled.
"Did what, Harry?"
"You saved me again, from myself. You keep saving me-why?"
"I told you, Harry-I love you."
Harry sighed. "I wish I could believe you. I wish I could love you back, but I-I don't know if I can," he finished miserably.
Draco laughed softly. "I'll make you believe in my love, one day. And I demand nothing from you other that you recover." He hesitated, then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss onto Harry's lips. Harry didn't return the kiss, but he didn't reject it either, and that in itself gave Draco hope. "You should sleep, or rest, at least."
Harry lifted a corner of his covers. "Stay with me, Draco? With you I feel...safe. I like that feeling." He blushed.
"No need to be embarrassed, Harry. I like making you feel safe." With a smile, Draco crawled under the covers. Harry wrapped himself around Draco, and, eventually, the two drifted into slumber.
***********
Sirius' eyes staring at him, accusing. Percy, shaking his head in disgust. Professor McGonnagal, who looked so betrayed....
Draco's face in the crowd.
"Draco! You know, right? You know it had to be done."
A smirk, with cold, glacier-gray eyes. 'Did it, Potter?'
"But...you said...."
'And you believed me? Surely you know better than that by *now*, Potter....' His mocking laughter filled Harry's ears as he disappeared-as everyone disappeared, leaving him alone in a featureless black void.
"No...." Harry shook his head. "It's a lie...it *has* to be...." He looked down at his hands.
They were covered in blood.
With a scream, Harry began clawing at his hands, trying to remove the blood, but it was of no use...it just kept appearing....
**********
Draco slipped into the Hospital wing quietly, making for Harry's bedside. He had only had a few hours of sleep himself, but he felt the need to be near Harry, to hold him.
As he approached the curtained-off bed where Harry lay, Draco heard screaming. A horrible sound, like someone was having their soul ripped from their body. The scream gave Draco pause for a moment, until Madam Pomfrey rushing by drove home the thing he had wanted to deny.
It was Harry screaming.
Bolstered into action, Draco ran, unsure of what he could do, but knowing that he wanted to be near Harry. When he bust through the curtains, he saw Madam Pomfrey trying her best to restrain Harry...who was tearing into his flesh, screaming all the time.
After a moment of struggle, the mediwitch got Harry's arms into restraints, but he continued screaming. Turning, she caught sight of Draco. "You shouldn't be here!"
"I think otherwise," Draco countered. "I want to help."
"Then stay with him while I get a sedative-I dare not use magic on him in this condition!" Madam Pomfrey misinterpreted the look on Draco's face. "It's safe, I assure you-he can't break those restraints-"
"No, it's not that." Draco moved to stand beside Harry. "Go. I'll be here." He watched the woman leave, and as soon as she was gone, Draco sat on the bed and touched Harry's face. "Harry, it's me, it's Draco. You're all right. Please, Harry, it's all right, just wake up, come on, it's Draco-"
Harry's screaming tapered off. "Draco?" he asked hoarsely.
Draco smiled with relief. "Yes, it's me. You were having some sort of night terror."
"No." Harry shook his head, eyes wide. "It wasn't-it's the truth. It's my fault."
"What is?"
"Percy-"
"No, Harry. No one forced him to do what he did."
"Sirius-he died. In my arms, he died. Told me it was worth it as long as I lived. How many, Draco? How many lives were destroyed in my name? Percy, and Charlie, when Voldemort tried to enslave the dragons. Sirius. Remus, whose grief is so powerful that no one is sure he'll recover. The Dursleys, whose only crime was to have been my family. How many others were there, Draco? How many names don't I know?"
"Harry...." Draco blinked back tears, and started when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Snape was standing behind him, a potion in his hand. Silently, Draco moved out of the way, and Snape took his place.
"Oh, Harry." He smoothed back the young man's sweat-soaked hair. "None of that was your fault."
"It was...maybe I could've...people trusted me to keep them safe."
Snape frowned. "I never thought it was right," he said after a moment of reflection, "that everybody pinned their hopes and dreams on you. You're only sixteen, Harry, far too young to have the responsibility of a whole world placed on your shoulders, a burden that never should've been yours. It was too much to ask of anyone, let alone a child." He sighed. "And now you're paying the price."
"I never asked for it, Professor," Harry whispered, looking away. "I never asked for it, but it was given to me, despite what I wanted. I tried to serve them, I really did...but I failed so many people...so many...."
"Harry." Harry didn't react. "Harry, look at me." Snape gripped Harry's chin, turned his face so that Snape's eyes were locked with Harry's. "None. Of. It. Was. Your. Fault.," he said slowly, enunciating. "The Weasleys, Black...they knew death was a risk when they fought against Voldemort. Lupin...he is depressed, but he *can* recover. Even your family was at risk for no other reason than the fact that they were Muggles. You might not believe me now, Harry, but you have to try-it wasn't your fault!"
Harry blinked back tears. "I'll try," he said, his voice shaky and uncertain-sounding.
Snape patted Harry's leg. "That's all we can ask. Now, if you'll take this," he held up the vial he was holding, "you can get some more rest."
"No, please!" Harry flinched back. "I don't like the way they make me feel-I can't escape my dreams and what they say."
"I'll mix you up some Dreamless Sleep, then. Careless of me-I should've thought of that on my own. But you need rest, need to relax."
"Can-" Harry paused. "Can Draco stay with me? He makes me feel...better."
"Do you want to stay. Draco?" Snape asked, turning to regard his student.
Draco nodded. "It'll...make me feel better, too," he said, feeling a little lame but not caring.
"Don't overtire yourselves, either of you. If sleep comes, let it." Snape looked at Harry. "You need to sleep, to heal." Casting a last look at the boys, he slipped away, leaving them to their privacy.
Harry looked at Draco, carefully reached up to touch his hair, stroke his cheek. "You did it again," he marveled.
"Did what, Harry?"
"You saved me again, from myself. You keep saving me-why?"
"I told you, Harry-I love you."
Harry sighed. "I wish I could believe you. I wish I could love you back, but I-I don't know if I can," he finished miserably.
Draco laughed softly. "I'll make you believe in my love, one day. And I demand nothing from you other that you recover." He hesitated, then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss onto Harry's lips. Harry didn't return the kiss, but he didn't reject it either, and that in itself gave Draco hope. "You should sleep, or rest, at least."
Harry lifted a corner of his covers. "Stay with me, Draco? With you I feel...safe. I like that feeling." He blushed.
"No need to be embarrassed, Harry. I like making you feel safe." With a smile, Draco crawled under the covers. Harry wrapped himself around Draco, and, eventually, the two drifted into slumber.
***********