Nodding to Madam Pomfrey as he passed, Draco went out into the waiting room, and was greeted by half the Gryffindors-all houses.
Ron was the first one to react to Draco's appearance. "What were you doing in there, Malfoy?" he spat out, not sure if he was angry at Draco, or the truths Draco had told him, but angry all the same.
"What do you think, Weasley?" Draco snapped back, letting Ron set the tone. "I was with Harry, or are you too dense to catch something that obvious?"
Hermione jumped in before any arguments could get out of hand. "Can we see Harry yet?" she asked, her worry shining clear through her voice.
Draco looked at Hermione, and smiled at her. "Harry...he only wants to see two of you. You, and Neville."
Neville blinked? "Why me?" he asked no one in particular.
Ron's eyes flashed. "Are you trying to keep us from him?" he snarled. "Because if you are-"
"I'm not keeping anyone from him!" Draco shouted, exasperated. "If you weren't so dense, you'd realize that sending a mob of you to Harry would not be the best idea, considering what's going on with him. And, that aside, after the way that the lot of you have been treating him of late, can you blame him for not wanting to see you all just yet? Now, Harry asked for Neville and Hermione, and that's who's getting in!"
Ron looked ready to charge Draco, but Hermione caught his arm. "Ron, no!" she hissed. "Just let us go in there. We'll talk to him, then maybe he'll see you. You'd be only a liability in the state you're in right now, anyway." She glared at him, then looked at Draco. "Can we see him now?"
"Of course." He let the two into the ward, then led them to Harry's bed. Neville, having seen Harry before, was prepared, but Hermione gasped, seeing him for the first time.
'When did he get so thin and pale? Look at those circles under his eyes...has he been looking like this the whole time? And we...we did this to him.' Hermione sank into a chair. "Oh, Harry," she said mournfully.
Harry opened his eyes, having closed them to gather his strength when Draco left. "'Mione? I'm sorry...."
Tears ran down her face as caught Harry up into a hug. "You have nothing to be sorry about," she said sniffing.
Neville sat down next to her and patted Harry's arm. "That's right, mate--*we're* the ones who have so much to be sorry for."
"Nev'...."
Draco looked at the three and smiled wistfully. "I'll leave you to talk then, shall I?"
Harry looked up. "Draco?" The fear was back in his eyes.
"It'll be all right, Harry. I'll be near if you need me. But...I think you need this time with them." He smiled at Harry, letting his love and support shine through, then withdrew to give the three friends some privacy.
**********
"Harry?" Hermione drew away from Harry slightly, to look him in the eye. "What's going on between you and Draco, anyway?"
Harry blushed bright red. "Well...he's in love with me."
Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" she demanded. "Or is he maybe just trying to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable?"
"I...I don't think so." Harry pulled back from Hermione's grip. "Earlier...I had had a nightmare. Draco came, managed to bring me back to myself. They-they wanted me to go back to sleep, but I was afraid of being alone...I asked Draco to stay. And...he held me. Made me feel secure. Didn't ask anything of me that I couldn't give."
Neville rested his chin on his hands. "Hermione, maybe Draco is sincere about this one. You didn't see how he was when Harry first came in-I did. He was torn up, devastated...terrified that harry was going to die. He really did seem to...care."
"But Harry." Hermione wasn't ready to let the subject drop. "Do you love *him*?"
Harry frowned, thinking. "No," he said. "I don't, not now. I don't think I *can* love someone, not just yet. I feel raw inside, Hermione. You have no idea what your rejection made me feel. I loved you, and Ron, and the rest of you like siblings, and you took that love and tore a hole in my heart and soul."
He sighed. "I hate saying this, but I don't think I can trust you with that again, just yet. I'm *afraid* to feel, do you understand? And if I can't manage that for you, or Ron...then how can I manage that for Draco, who, until...everything, I didn't even really care for at all?
"But...I *want* to be able to love Draco. Just like I want to be able to give all of you my trust again one day, I want to give Draco my heart. But not yet...not for a long time, maybe. He knows that-I've told him...and he still is here for me, telling me he loves me. If he does, Hermione, then he'll wait for me. If he can't do that...." Harry trailed off and shrugged. "Does that answer your questions?"
Hermione was sobbing. "I...didn't realize what we were doing to you," she cried. "Why didn't you *say* something?"
It was Neville who answered. "Would you have listened to him?"
Hermione turned dazed eyes onto Neville. "When did you get so wise?" she asked. "First that public defense of Harry, then all the words and advice...when did that happen?"
"I think it's been there all the time, Hermione. I just grew up enough to be able to speak it instead of think it."
Harry looked at Neville. He didn't sit with a perpetual cringe anymore, as if waiting for the world to mock him. Instead he sat with...pride, confidence. He liked this new Neville. "Speaking of that public defense," Harry interjected, trying to lighten the mood, "just what happened, anyway? I've heard you were...inspired."
Hermione laughed. "'Inspired' isn't the word I'd use for it Harry."
With the tension broken, the three settled back for a long talk.
**********
A few hours later, Madam Pomfrey came around. "All right, Harry needs his rest. Say good night, and you can come back tomorrow, if he wants."
Harry nodded. "I do want."
"Harry?" He looked at Hermione. "What should I say to Ron?"
A pained look crossed Harry's features. "Tell him what I said earlier. Sit him down and make him listen, *really* listen. And...if he can hear my words without anger...then he can come tomorrow. I expect you to use good judgement, Hermione."
"Don't I always?"
Neville rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to dignify that one with a response." He laughed at Hermione's shocked expression. "Pleasant dreams, Harry."
Hermione kissed his forehead. "Sleep well."
"Good night 'Mione, Neville. See you tomorrow."
Not long after the two left, Draco peeked his head into Harry's curtains. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." Harry patted the bed next to him.
"How did it go?" Draco picked up Harry's hand and waited for his answer.
"Not bad. I wish I could've seen Neville confronting the whole school, though."
"So do I."
"What?" Harry looked at Draco, confused. "You weren't there?"
"No, Harry," Draco whispered hoarsely, having to blink back sudden tears. "I couldn't leave your side, I couldn't bear to."
Harry pulled Draco into a hug. "You shouldn't have stayed," he murmured to a now-crying Draco. "But I'm glad you did."
"You could have *died*, Harry! I was so scared of losing you...I look at you, and I feel that fear, still."
"But I am here, Draco. Alive...thanks to you." He held Draco close to him, and let Draco cry out his pain and grief, finally dealing with it for the first time since he had realized what Harry had intended to do.
Finally he pulled back and dried his tears. "So, is everything all right then?" he asked, as if the last quarter-hour of crying had never happened.
Harry shook his head. "No. But...I think it just might be heading in that direction."
**********
Ron was the first one to react to Draco's appearance. "What were you doing in there, Malfoy?" he spat out, not sure if he was angry at Draco, or the truths Draco had told him, but angry all the same.
"What do you think, Weasley?" Draco snapped back, letting Ron set the tone. "I was with Harry, or are you too dense to catch something that obvious?"
Hermione jumped in before any arguments could get out of hand. "Can we see Harry yet?" she asked, her worry shining clear through her voice.
Draco looked at Hermione, and smiled at her. "Harry...he only wants to see two of you. You, and Neville."
Neville blinked? "Why me?" he asked no one in particular.
Ron's eyes flashed. "Are you trying to keep us from him?" he snarled. "Because if you are-"
"I'm not keeping anyone from him!" Draco shouted, exasperated. "If you weren't so dense, you'd realize that sending a mob of you to Harry would not be the best idea, considering what's going on with him. And, that aside, after the way that the lot of you have been treating him of late, can you blame him for not wanting to see you all just yet? Now, Harry asked for Neville and Hermione, and that's who's getting in!"
Ron looked ready to charge Draco, but Hermione caught his arm. "Ron, no!" she hissed. "Just let us go in there. We'll talk to him, then maybe he'll see you. You'd be only a liability in the state you're in right now, anyway." She glared at him, then looked at Draco. "Can we see him now?"
"Of course." He let the two into the ward, then led them to Harry's bed. Neville, having seen Harry before, was prepared, but Hermione gasped, seeing him for the first time.
'When did he get so thin and pale? Look at those circles under his eyes...has he been looking like this the whole time? And we...we did this to him.' Hermione sank into a chair. "Oh, Harry," she said mournfully.
Harry opened his eyes, having closed them to gather his strength when Draco left. "'Mione? I'm sorry...."
Tears ran down her face as caught Harry up into a hug. "You have nothing to be sorry about," she said sniffing.
Neville sat down next to her and patted Harry's arm. "That's right, mate--*we're* the ones who have so much to be sorry for."
"Nev'...."
Draco looked at the three and smiled wistfully. "I'll leave you to talk then, shall I?"
Harry looked up. "Draco?" The fear was back in his eyes.
"It'll be all right, Harry. I'll be near if you need me. But...I think you need this time with them." He smiled at Harry, letting his love and support shine through, then withdrew to give the three friends some privacy.
**********
"Harry?" Hermione drew away from Harry slightly, to look him in the eye. "What's going on between you and Draco, anyway?"
Harry blushed bright red. "Well...he's in love with me."
Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" she demanded. "Or is he maybe just trying to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable?"
"I...I don't think so." Harry pulled back from Hermione's grip. "Earlier...I had had a nightmare. Draco came, managed to bring me back to myself. They-they wanted me to go back to sleep, but I was afraid of being alone...I asked Draco to stay. And...he held me. Made me feel secure. Didn't ask anything of me that I couldn't give."
Neville rested his chin on his hands. "Hermione, maybe Draco is sincere about this one. You didn't see how he was when Harry first came in-I did. He was torn up, devastated...terrified that harry was going to die. He really did seem to...care."
"But Harry." Hermione wasn't ready to let the subject drop. "Do you love *him*?"
Harry frowned, thinking. "No," he said. "I don't, not now. I don't think I *can* love someone, not just yet. I feel raw inside, Hermione. You have no idea what your rejection made me feel. I loved you, and Ron, and the rest of you like siblings, and you took that love and tore a hole in my heart and soul."
He sighed. "I hate saying this, but I don't think I can trust you with that again, just yet. I'm *afraid* to feel, do you understand? And if I can't manage that for you, or Ron...then how can I manage that for Draco, who, until...everything, I didn't even really care for at all?
"But...I *want* to be able to love Draco. Just like I want to be able to give all of you my trust again one day, I want to give Draco my heart. But not yet...not for a long time, maybe. He knows that-I've told him...and he still is here for me, telling me he loves me. If he does, Hermione, then he'll wait for me. If he can't do that...." Harry trailed off and shrugged. "Does that answer your questions?"
Hermione was sobbing. "I...didn't realize what we were doing to you," she cried. "Why didn't you *say* something?"
It was Neville who answered. "Would you have listened to him?"
Hermione turned dazed eyes onto Neville. "When did you get so wise?" she asked. "First that public defense of Harry, then all the words and advice...when did that happen?"
"I think it's been there all the time, Hermione. I just grew up enough to be able to speak it instead of think it."
Harry looked at Neville. He didn't sit with a perpetual cringe anymore, as if waiting for the world to mock him. Instead he sat with...pride, confidence. He liked this new Neville. "Speaking of that public defense," Harry interjected, trying to lighten the mood, "just what happened, anyway? I've heard you were...inspired."
Hermione laughed. "'Inspired' isn't the word I'd use for it Harry."
With the tension broken, the three settled back for a long talk.
**********
A few hours later, Madam Pomfrey came around. "All right, Harry needs his rest. Say good night, and you can come back tomorrow, if he wants."
Harry nodded. "I do want."
"Harry?" He looked at Hermione. "What should I say to Ron?"
A pained look crossed Harry's features. "Tell him what I said earlier. Sit him down and make him listen, *really* listen. And...if he can hear my words without anger...then he can come tomorrow. I expect you to use good judgement, Hermione."
"Don't I always?"
Neville rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to dignify that one with a response." He laughed at Hermione's shocked expression. "Pleasant dreams, Harry."
Hermione kissed his forehead. "Sleep well."
"Good night 'Mione, Neville. See you tomorrow."
Not long after the two left, Draco peeked his head into Harry's curtains. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." Harry patted the bed next to him.
"How did it go?" Draco picked up Harry's hand and waited for his answer.
"Not bad. I wish I could've seen Neville confronting the whole school, though."
"So do I."
"What?" Harry looked at Draco, confused. "You weren't there?"
"No, Harry," Draco whispered hoarsely, having to blink back sudden tears. "I couldn't leave your side, I couldn't bear to."
Harry pulled Draco into a hug. "You shouldn't have stayed," he murmured to a now-crying Draco. "But I'm glad you did."
"You could have *died*, Harry! I was so scared of losing you...I look at you, and I feel that fear, still."
"But I am here, Draco. Alive...thanks to you." He held Draco close to him, and let Draco cry out his pain and grief, finally dealing with it for the first time since he had realized what Harry had intended to do.
Finally he pulled back and dried his tears. "So, is everything all right then?" he asked, as if the last quarter-hour of crying had never happened.
Harry shook his head. "No. But...I think it just might be heading in that direction."
**********