Persuasion: In Which Alucard Grasps The Problem
By Althea SaDiablo
Disclaimer: Hellsing isn't mine. This is definitely a good thing.
Author's Note: I have this strange and perverse urge to write humor for angsty series and angst for humorous ones- I think my muse has a warped sense of humor. But there's plenty of comedy in the Hellsing manga, so at least I'm on slightly firmer ground. Hopefully the sun which shines in the heavens will forgive me for writing this, because Integral's sure as hell not going to. \/\/007! I am enjoying myself with this one, though. The idea for this story actually came to me in the form of it's ff.net blurb, which is definitely a bad sign. But I'm writing it anyway. Please do leave me a review?
He kicked aside the few body parts he hadn't eaten- a hand, something that might have been a knee if there had been more leg attached to it- and let his boots come down heavily on the stone steps leading up to the altar.
He was getting tired of this.
This time Integral was unconscious, and luckily so. For him, at least, because he didn't have her blistering his ears for taking so long. Never mind the fact that he'd had to slaughter a small army to get to her.
Not that he was complaining.
The heady scent of blood had already saturated the air, but he could still pick out hers. A few wounds in her arms still dripped, but the flow from them had mostly abated. It amused him to see her stubborn, even in unconsciousness, her body still fighting even without her awareness present. But he was enraged, as well, enough to wish he'd left a few of the vampires alive to take out his feelings on. They dared to use his master as . . . as a snack? They thought they could get away with it and not pay? He would give them a reckoning beyond their darkest nightmares, he would-
Well, he already had. What a shame.
Doubly good that she was unconscious, he decided. Otherwise she would have been yelling at him about the state of her clothing, too, and that was certainly not his fault. She had lost her jacket, somewhere, and what she had left was in ribbons, stained with her blood and vampire blood and dirt and a several other things that he thought it best not to inquire about. He couldn't begin to guess exactly what she'd been up to. Probably picking fights with her captors, which left him wondering why she hadn't called him to begin with.
It would have been much easier if she had. Why did she persist in taking such foolish risks? This was the third time! She was lucky she wasn't dead.
He sighed and shrugged out of his coat, then lifted her up to wrap it around her. Preserving her modesty meant she'd have one less thing to yell at him about if she did happen to wake up.
Well, there was no point in hanging around. The freaks were dead, and Integral was debatably all right. In repose her face was relaxed, losing its cold, fixed expression for- what? He wasn't quite sure, but looking down at her in his arms, he suddenly thought that she looked very human.
Lights flashed on the walls outside in regular patterns, red and blue, but the sirens had long since been turned off. The police were maintaining a perimeter around the building, but their purpose was more to keep back stupid human sheep than anything else. They knew enough not to approach him.
Walter had no such reservations- he was there immediately, and the question in his faded eyes was quickly replaced by relief, and a gratitude he didn't bother to articulate. "Unconscious? Good thing."
"Targets silenced," Alucard said, unnecessarily. He and Walter always had understood each other remarkably well.
"I'll take her." The butler accepted Integral's weight without staggering, although she had to be at least as tall as he was. Alucard just stood there, watching as the butler carried his master off to the waiting Rolls.
There had been that first time with Incognito, he remembered. It had led to quite a bit of fun, so he really couldn't complain about it, but it was also kind of embarrassing that it had happened in the first place. Integral had apparently been impressed, although probably less than pleased with the overall results. In fact, she's been particularly unhappy about the large-scale destruction of London, which Alucard considered to be an incidental side effect of his little romp with Set or Incognito or whoever he had been at the time. Walter had tried to explain it to him- it had something to do with her cigars, her favorite teashop, and the fact that she was in general rather fond of London- but Alucard had shrugged it off. She had other things to worry about besides yelling at him, so it was fine.
But then there was the second time. Some foreign vampire fresh in from the continent had happened by and stolen her off the street between her new favorite teashop and the tobacco store. Said vampire had apparently decided, originally enough, to use her as a sacrifice to summon some dark god from Hell so that he could assimilate it and turn London into a suburb thereof.
The vampire hadn't really gotten very far with it, though. In fact, Integral had been in the process of disemboweling him with the business end of her umbrella when Alucard had shown up. And she'd been so pleased with herself that she hadn't yelled at her servant vampire at all for arriving just a little late.
This time, though . . . this time he had been delayed. This time he had lost his temper. This time, they'd almost succeeded before he had gotten there.
Were there so few virgins around England that the stupid trash vampires had to steal his master? Three times?! Something had to be done.
He was still thinking about it when he returned to his chair in the basement of the manor. Brooding. Three times was three times too many. He might not be on time, the next time. It was very important that there not be a next time.
He was about to turn in for the day when the solution hit him, and it was so astoundingly obvious he couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to him before. Every one of the three times, the vampires had wanted a virgin sacrifice. Obviously if Integral wasn't a virgin, they couldn't use her as a sacrifice! He was laughing, it was so ludicrously simple. Brilliantly simple. It was pre-emptive protection. He should have thought of it years ago. He was surprised she hadn't come up with it herself. It would take care of the problem for good. Integral would be safe and he could go back to slaughtering vampires without having to worry about guarding her all the time.
Content at last, he settled in for a good day's rest.