After Remus left to go talk to Dumbledore, Harry turned huge, dazed eyes onto Draco. "Did I just dream all of that?" he demanded. "Is this all some twisted dream that waking from will just add to the pain, not lessen it?"
"No, of course not." Draco returned to Harry's side. "I was here, Harry. I saw-and heard him." He looked deep into Harry's eyes. "It *is* a good thing-right?"
Harry nodded. "It is, but...good things don't happen to me, Draco, not unconditionally. Eventually, something else goes horribly wrong. I 'defeated' Voldemort when I was a baby...but my parents died. I came to Hogwarts, found friends-and kept getting thrown into situation after situation where my life, and, more importantly, my friends' lives were put into danger. I 'won' the Triwizard Tournament, but what did that brief moment of happiness result in? Cedric's death and Voldemort's resurrection. And it's just been more death. Maybe...good things just aren't supposed to happen to me."
Seeing the belief in Harry's eyes, Draco railed at the fates that led Harry down his lifepath. Unable to do anything else, he gathered Harry into a hug. "Oh, love...."
"'Love'?"
The new voice made both Harry and Draco start. Draco pulled away from Harry, stood, and turned to face the intruder. "Weasley. How did you get in here?"
"Madam Pomfrey let me in." Ron's eyes narrowed. "Is that you game then, Malfoy? Tell Harry that you love him, make sure that you're the only one he can turn to...and then what? Will you finish the job your dear Daddy started?"
Draco reeled like he had been shot, face turning deathly pale.
"Ron!" Harry made sure that he had Ron's complete attention. "Don't do this," he begged. "Please...leave Draco be. He hasn't tried to harm me at *all*. He helped defeat Voldemort-he killed his own *father* to protect me-and he gave me support when no one else did for the choices I had to make. Don't ruin that, Ron, *please*."
Ron blinked. Harry...begging for *Malfoy*? "Did he do something to you, mate? Some sort of spell, or potion? Because the Harry I knew would never have taken up for Malfoy."
Harry's eyes filled with tears. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought," he whispered.
Ron came closer, seeing Harry's tars. "Harry? Are you all right?"
Harry snapped. "No, I am *not* all right! I've spent the past month being hated by my best friend-whether justified or not, I'm not even going to go into that. Finally, when it seems like I have no other choice, I set out to do the one thing I should've done long ago, only to be stopped by one of the *few* people who actually seemed to give a damn about me. And now you come back in here and start *insulting* the one person who's helped keep me alive for the past few days-because believe me." Harry's words dropped to a hiss. "I *would've* found a way to finish the job." He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if I should just...end it all now, anyway. All I seem to do is bring strife and upset to the people I care about. And I *do* care about you Ron, even after all of this."
Ron's eyes widened. "You...still want to die?"
Draco had gone even paler at the thought. "Please, Harry...please, no."
Harry's eyes looked resigned as he regarded both Ron and Draco. "Sometimes, yes. I wonder if it's even possible for people to be happy while I'm around." He turned to state at the wall. "I hope Remus is able to arrange something," he said, almost to himself. "I need to get away from here."
"Remus is awake?"
Draco rolled his eyes at Ron. "Awake and here and trying to arrange to get Harry out of this place."
"But Harry...where will you go?" Ron was in shock. He knew he had made a near-fatal mistake, going off on Draco like that, but he had hoped that he'd have time to repair with Harry what they-no, what *he*--had broken.
"Anywhere. The bottom of the ocean is beginning to look good to me."
Draco glared at Ron. "I hope you're happy," he said, practically spitting out the words. "We've been trying to *heal* Harry, and now look at what's happened!"
"No, Draco." Harry looked up at him. "Don't blame Ron, or Hermione, or Remus, or even yourself. There is no one to blame but me. I've caused it all."
"That's not true!" Ron pushed past Draco to grab Harry's hands. "*You* have done nothing, Harry Potter, do you hear me?"
Harry scoffed. "Well, no one made me drive a knife into my chest."
"No, you're right about that, mate. But...you made a choice, and you had so few options. I forgot something in my own grief and pain over this war-I miss my brothers, yes. But you...you carried the whole weight of this thing on your shoulders. We *all* bought into the Boy Who Lived hype, knowing full well that it meant that every fight, and every death, was in your name. And I forgot-we all forgot-what that effect could be on you. And then...when you fulfilled what everyone wanted you to do, we turned on you for that. I can't imagine what a burden it's been for you."
Harry sighed, looking deep into Ron's eyes. "I never wanted any of it," he said in a broken voice, "but no one ever listened to me. All of those people who died for *me*--" Harry laughed bitterly. "I'd have much more preferred Sirius, or Percy, or Charlie, or *any* of them alive. There was nothing special about me-just a scar that signified someone *else's* sacrifice for me. But I did it, anyway. I defeated Voldemort. And then...then to have those who were called before martyrs for the side of Light, to have them renamed sacrificial lambs at my 'altar of power'...I heard the whispering, you know. About how I'd end up becoming the next Voldemort. I killed with the curse once, you know-I'd do it again."
Harry laughed, bitterness verging on hysteria. "And that you believed it, Ron, that you believed that I could *ever* do something like that...it killed something inside of me. Something that had survived all those deaths, all those attempts on my life, on yours' and Hermione's lives...just withered up and died when I realized that my best friends in the world could believe such a thing of me. Don't you think I'd have been taken from here if anyone thought I was a true danger? I was examined, after, for any sign that I could become...*that*. They were ready to lock me up somewhere if I did show something...but I didn't. I couldn't. And you hated me anyway."
Draco gazed at harry. "You're doing it," he murmured under his breath. "You're finally bleeding off some of the poison."
Ron was openly crying. "Harry, I...you're right, I should've known better...I...." He trailed off and looked away. "You should hate me. You should hate me, and I know that it's justified. I hate myself."
"Don't you get it, Ron?" Harry, as had been dome so many times to him, grabbed Ron's chin and forced him to look at him. "Hate is what *will* turn us into creatures like Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It's why I was able to defeat him. Voldemort fought with hate-hate for Light, hate for me, hate for anyone who stood in his way. I fought with *love*--love of my parents, my godfather, my friends-I fought with that love surrounding me. So I *couldn't* become like him. It's why I can't hate *you*, Ron, though even you wouldn't blame me for doing so."
"Gods, Harry...I'm so *sorry*!" He threw his arms around Harry and held him close. "Can you...will you ever trust me again?"
Harry sighed. "I don't know, Ron. I *want* to...but it will take a long time. Can you live with that? Will you be here, proving that I *should* trust you?"
Ron gave Harry a watery grin through his tears. "Always, Harry. I mean it-always."
"Even with Draco here? Even with him in love with me?"
"Do you love *him*?"
"Again, I don't know. I don't know if I can, yet. But I want to." Harry looked at Ron, utterly serious. "Can you handle that?"
"If Malf--*Draco* is what makes you happy, then I'll support you." Ron rose and turned to Draco. "I shouldn't have said-well, a *lot* of things to you. I'm making a fresh start with Harry, here-can I make a fresh start with you, too?" He held out his hand.
Draco looked from Ron, to Harry, then back at Ron again. "I know you mean a lot to him," he said slowly, "so for Harry's sake, I'll try." He took Ron's hand. "Maybe, one day...I'll like you for your sake."
Harry watched the scene in front of him. Maybe...just maybe, things could begin to heal and mend, now.
**********
"No, of course not." Draco returned to Harry's side. "I was here, Harry. I saw-and heard him." He looked deep into Harry's eyes. "It *is* a good thing-right?"
Harry nodded. "It is, but...good things don't happen to me, Draco, not unconditionally. Eventually, something else goes horribly wrong. I 'defeated' Voldemort when I was a baby...but my parents died. I came to Hogwarts, found friends-and kept getting thrown into situation after situation where my life, and, more importantly, my friends' lives were put into danger. I 'won' the Triwizard Tournament, but what did that brief moment of happiness result in? Cedric's death and Voldemort's resurrection. And it's just been more death. Maybe...good things just aren't supposed to happen to me."
Seeing the belief in Harry's eyes, Draco railed at the fates that led Harry down his lifepath. Unable to do anything else, he gathered Harry into a hug. "Oh, love...."
"'Love'?"
The new voice made both Harry and Draco start. Draco pulled away from Harry, stood, and turned to face the intruder. "Weasley. How did you get in here?"
"Madam Pomfrey let me in." Ron's eyes narrowed. "Is that you game then, Malfoy? Tell Harry that you love him, make sure that you're the only one he can turn to...and then what? Will you finish the job your dear Daddy started?"
Draco reeled like he had been shot, face turning deathly pale.
"Ron!" Harry made sure that he had Ron's complete attention. "Don't do this," he begged. "Please...leave Draco be. He hasn't tried to harm me at *all*. He helped defeat Voldemort-he killed his own *father* to protect me-and he gave me support when no one else did for the choices I had to make. Don't ruin that, Ron, *please*."
Ron blinked. Harry...begging for *Malfoy*? "Did he do something to you, mate? Some sort of spell, or potion? Because the Harry I knew would never have taken up for Malfoy."
Harry's eyes filled with tears. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought," he whispered.
Ron came closer, seeing Harry's tars. "Harry? Are you all right?"
Harry snapped. "No, I am *not* all right! I've spent the past month being hated by my best friend-whether justified or not, I'm not even going to go into that. Finally, when it seems like I have no other choice, I set out to do the one thing I should've done long ago, only to be stopped by one of the *few* people who actually seemed to give a damn about me. And now you come back in here and start *insulting* the one person who's helped keep me alive for the past few days-because believe me." Harry's words dropped to a hiss. "I *would've* found a way to finish the job." He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if I should just...end it all now, anyway. All I seem to do is bring strife and upset to the people I care about. And I *do* care about you Ron, even after all of this."
Ron's eyes widened. "You...still want to die?"
Draco had gone even paler at the thought. "Please, Harry...please, no."
Harry's eyes looked resigned as he regarded both Ron and Draco. "Sometimes, yes. I wonder if it's even possible for people to be happy while I'm around." He turned to state at the wall. "I hope Remus is able to arrange something," he said, almost to himself. "I need to get away from here."
"Remus is awake?"
Draco rolled his eyes at Ron. "Awake and here and trying to arrange to get Harry out of this place."
"But Harry...where will you go?" Ron was in shock. He knew he had made a near-fatal mistake, going off on Draco like that, but he had hoped that he'd have time to repair with Harry what they-no, what *he*--had broken.
"Anywhere. The bottom of the ocean is beginning to look good to me."
Draco glared at Ron. "I hope you're happy," he said, practically spitting out the words. "We've been trying to *heal* Harry, and now look at what's happened!"
"No, Draco." Harry looked up at him. "Don't blame Ron, or Hermione, or Remus, or even yourself. There is no one to blame but me. I've caused it all."
"That's not true!" Ron pushed past Draco to grab Harry's hands. "*You* have done nothing, Harry Potter, do you hear me?"
Harry scoffed. "Well, no one made me drive a knife into my chest."
"No, you're right about that, mate. But...you made a choice, and you had so few options. I forgot something in my own grief and pain over this war-I miss my brothers, yes. But you...you carried the whole weight of this thing on your shoulders. We *all* bought into the Boy Who Lived hype, knowing full well that it meant that every fight, and every death, was in your name. And I forgot-we all forgot-what that effect could be on you. And then...when you fulfilled what everyone wanted you to do, we turned on you for that. I can't imagine what a burden it's been for you."
Harry sighed, looking deep into Ron's eyes. "I never wanted any of it," he said in a broken voice, "but no one ever listened to me. All of those people who died for *me*--" Harry laughed bitterly. "I'd have much more preferred Sirius, or Percy, or Charlie, or *any* of them alive. There was nothing special about me-just a scar that signified someone *else's* sacrifice for me. But I did it, anyway. I defeated Voldemort. And then...then to have those who were called before martyrs for the side of Light, to have them renamed sacrificial lambs at my 'altar of power'...I heard the whispering, you know. About how I'd end up becoming the next Voldemort. I killed with the curse once, you know-I'd do it again."
Harry laughed, bitterness verging on hysteria. "And that you believed it, Ron, that you believed that I could *ever* do something like that...it killed something inside of me. Something that had survived all those deaths, all those attempts on my life, on yours' and Hermione's lives...just withered up and died when I realized that my best friends in the world could believe such a thing of me. Don't you think I'd have been taken from here if anyone thought I was a true danger? I was examined, after, for any sign that I could become...*that*. They were ready to lock me up somewhere if I did show something...but I didn't. I couldn't. And you hated me anyway."
Draco gazed at harry. "You're doing it," he murmured under his breath. "You're finally bleeding off some of the poison."
Ron was openly crying. "Harry, I...you're right, I should've known better...I...." He trailed off and looked away. "You should hate me. You should hate me, and I know that it's justified. I hate myself."
"Don't you get it, Ron?" Harry, as had been dome so many times to him, grabbed Ron's chin and forced him to look at him. "Hate is what *will* turn us into creatures like Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It's why I was able to defeat him. Voldemort fought with hate-hate for Light, hate for me, hate for anyone who stood in his way. I fought with *love*--love of my parents, my godfather, my friends-I fought with that love surrounding me. So I *couldn't* become like him. It's why I can't hate *you*, Ron, though even you wouldn't blame me for doing so."
"Gods, Harry...I'm so *sorry*!" He threw his arms around Harry and held him close. "Can you...will you ever trust me again?"
Harry sighed. "I don't know, Ron. I *want* to...but it will take a long time. Can you live with that? Will you be here, proving that I *should* trust you?"
Ron gave Harry a watery grin through his tears. "Always, Harry. I mean it-always."
"Even with Draco here? Even with him in love with me?"
"Do you love *him*?"
"Again, I don't know. I don't know if I can, yet. But I want to." Harry looked at Ron, utterly serious. "Can you handle that?"
"If Malf--*Draco* is what makes you happy, then I'll support you." Ron rose and turned to Draco. "I shouldn't have said-well, a *lot* of things to you. I'm making a fresh start with Harry, here-can I make a fresh start with you, too?" He held out his hand.
Draco looked from Ron, to Harry, then back at Ron again. "I know you mean a lot to him," he said slowly, "so for Harry's sake, I'll try." He took Ron's hand. "Maybe, one day...I'll like you for your sake."
Harry watched the scene in front of him. Maybe...just maybe, things could begin to heal and mend, now.
**********