Meant To Be Together
Part 2- Reunions
"You wanted to see me, Admiral?" Captain Kathryn Janeway asked. Owen Paris rose from his seat. "That's right Captain. It's about Tuvok." "Tuvok?" she reiterated fearfully, concern for her friend rising inside her. "Is he hurt?" Owen looked sheepish. "Well, no. Not exactly. But it appears he won't be able to go on the mission. He's come down with a nasty case of the Tarkelian flu." "Oh." He sighed. "Obviously, we can't just scrap the mission- it's too important." "What did you have in mind, sir?" she asked a little warily. He considered carefully for a moment before replying. "We've decided to send you in his place." "Me?" "I know it might seem risky, assigning a Starfleet captain to infiltrate a Maquis ship, but you're the best we have under the circumstances." "I understand." "Good. You leave tomorrow at eleven hundred hours. A transport will take you to Maquis headquarters, where you'll be picked up by one of our agents. He'll make sure you're posted to the Liberty as chief navigator." Kathryn nodded. "What information do we have about the ship?" "Not much, I'm afraid. We don't even know the captain's name or the crew complement. It'll be up to you to send us all relevant details once you're aboard. However, Tuvok's illness obviously caused a delay, so we're going to have to speed up the schedule. You'll only have three weeks to guide the ship to the prearranged coordinates before Voyager gets there. Make the best of them." "Yes, sir." "Dismissed. And, Kathryn," he added as she turned on her heel, "Good luck." She acknowledged him with another nod before disappearing out the door. [pic] Five days later she was smack in the middle of Maquis headquarters, trying her best to fit in and not stand out among all the various cell leaders and captains. It wasn't that hard, actually. The Maquis were a lot less rigorous on matters of protocol and clothing than Starfleet, and it was nice to be able to leave her constraining uniform jacket behind and act like a normal person for once. Kathryn slung her bag more comfortably over her shoulder and kept walking. True to Admiral Paris's word, she had been hustled away by a secret Starfleet agent as soon as she stepped off the transport, and he had been successful in getting her appointed to the Liberty. Now she was going to meet the officer in charge of crew assignments, who would take her up to the ship. Feeling a little nervous in spite of herself, she marched into the transporter room and saw him already waiting for her on the transporter pad. She joined him there, unsuccessfully attempting to quell the butterflies in her stomach. "Energize," he ordered, and the room dissipated in a flash of blue light as the transporter activated, delivering them straight to the bridge of the Liberty and into the characteristic bustle of a starship being prepared for a voyage. She scanned the room, subconsciously comparing it to her own ship. Voyager's bridge was considerably bigger, but that was to be expected; it was a much larger ship. In addition, the Liberty seemed to be a lot more antiquated than Voyager; from the appearance of its technology, it was at least thirty years old. A few crewmembers were stationed at their posts and two or three afforded her mild glances of curiosity before returning to their work, but other than that the bridge was mostly empty. To her right, a large, powerfully built man was hunched over a console, immersed in work and apparently not having heard the transporter. "Captain!" the assignment officer said to him jovially. "I've brought you your new navigator." The man straightened and turned. Kathryn felt her mind go numb with shock as she recognized him and struggled to keep her mouth from hanging open. The captain's face paled as well and he, too, stood gaping at her, wearing an expression seriously akin to that of a zombie. She knew they were probably attracting odd looks from the rest of the bridge crew by now, but they were utterly oblivious to the rest of the world, too stunned to move a muscle and able to do nothing except stare at each other. She gazed into the face of the man she had thought she would never see again. The same man who had haunted her dreams since her days at the Academy. Chakotay. The assignment officer's voice was a dull roar in her ears as he prattled on about the details of her posting. However, only mindful of Chakotay's presence in front of her, she wasn't paying attention to anything else, even when she left the bridge in the company of another woman after he ordered her to find Kathryn some quarters. Instead, she was remembering the hurt, the pain, the loneliness he had caused her to suffer so long ago. And wondering if the scars would ever heal. [pic] She knew it was him as soon as the chime sounded. She'd been dreading it from the moment she stepped off the bridge that morning. But there was no avoiding it, and the sooner she got it over with, the better. "Come in." Chakotay halted just inside the door, unwilling to additionally invade her personal space. "Hello Kathryn." She was mute. "How are you?" he tried again. She didn't reply, just stood there with her cold eyes boring into him. "I'm sorry," he hedged, endeavoring to get a response out of her. "Oh, you're sorry. Is that supposed to make everything better?" she shot back bitterly, the first sentence she'd said since he'd entered. "I don't know what else to say..." "Say? What is there to say? You left me. That's all." Her icy facade was starting to crack, the woman underneath becoming more and more exposed. He winced slightly at her point-blank statement and she continued her tirade, unnoticing. "When you told me you were leaving Starfleet I wanted to come with you, but you wouldn't listen. I would have willingly given everything up for you. My life, my career, my friends, my family, just so I could be with you. But no, you didn't care. You wanted to do it all yourself." The memories were threatening to overwhelm her by now. It seemed like only yesterday she had been happily lying in his arms while he told her how much he loved her and it took her entire resolve not to let her sentiments show through in her eyes. Kathryn took a big shaky breath, not comprehending what was provoking this reaction from her. Perhaps it was the combined effect of everything that had occurred in the past two hours, or perhaps it was the result of being so far away from home, but seeing Chakotay for the first time in years had brought back feelings she thought she had buried a long time ago, feelings she had hoped never to have to cope with again. Anger, pain, helplessness and countless other emotions swirled around unfettered inside her and all she knew was that she had to get them out of her system somehow. "Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep because you were gone? How many nights I dreamed about you and then woke up crying because it was all an illusion?" She was screaming now and he involuntarily backed up beneath the fierceness of her wrath. "I loved you so much it scared me. You held my heart in your hands, and what did you do? You broke it. You used me and you broke it." Her voice turned sad, sorrowful. "Did you even love me at all? Or was I just a meaningless fling to you?" He was stung. "Of course I loved you, Kathryn. How could you ever think anything different?" "Well, you certainly didn't act like it," she spat. "And what do you expect me to do now? Just fall into your arms and say everything will be okay? Because that's not going to happen. Maybe I would have when I was younger, but I've grown up now. I'm not the same person I was at the Academy and neither are you." "Yes, I can see that," Chakotay said quietly. "But Kathryn, please understand that I never meant it to happen this way..." "Oh, you didn't?" she snarled, her temper rising again. "Well then you should have done something about it. You should have taken me with you, like I suggested. Or at least left me some way to contact you, instead of throwing me off to the side as if I were some worthless piece of jewelry like... like this damned necklace..." And before he could check her, she had shoved her fingers inside the delicate chain he had given her all those years ago and torn it free of her neck in an unthinking fury. She flung it against the wall and the silver heart clattered to the floor- Split in two. They were both shocked speechless. Chakotay snapped himself out of it first. "No... no... Oh, Kathryn, why'd you do that?" he asked brokenly as he stooped to pick up the pieces. Kathryn was still tongue-tied, but realization dawned on her face as the full impact of what she had just done hit her like a brick. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hand flew to her mouth. Chakotay gathered the chain and the two halves of the heart and cradled them in his hand as he swung back to face her. She stared at him, unsure what he was going to do. "Kathryn, I know I acted like a selfish jerk when I left you but please believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you. I've said this before and I'm repeating it now because it's true. I was young and headstrong and too stupid to understand what I had or what I was losing and I ended up wounding the woman I had fallen in love with. I truly wish there were some way to go back and undo that damage. However, as things are, all we can do is move on." She was ready to counter his words but he stopped her. "No. You've made it clear you don't love me and I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. If you want to talk you know where to find me." He turned to exit but halted at the door. "I won't bother you again." [pic] B'Elanna found him, hours later, aimlessly pacing around his quarters, when she came to deliver a report. "We've finished the warp core upgrades," she declared proudly. "We can do some more as we go along, but I'd say we're all ready for launch tomorrow." He remained silent and she waved the PADD in the air, hoping to gain his attention. "Here are the details." "Thanks, just put them on the table, will you? I'll review them later." She frowned. Chakotay didn't usually act this way. "Is something wrong?" "What?" he said absently, then registered what she had asked. "Oh, no, nothing," he assured her far too quickly. "Look, you may be able to fool Seska with that, but you can't fool me. Now what's the matter?" When he once more declined to answer, she hazarded a wild guess. "Is this something to do with that new girl... what's her name... Kathryn Janeway?" "What makes you say that?" Chakotay asked a little overly defensively. B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "Well, how about the way you two were goggling at each other on the bridge? Anybody would think you had just seen a ghost!" He snorted lightly at that one but said nothing. She continued, calmer now, "I wasn't the only person who noticed it, you know. Half the crew already thinks you're smitten with her. And you should have seen Seska earlier. She's about ready to bite Janeway's head off!" He gave a small laugh. "I'll bet she is," he muttered wryly. Even though he had ended their relationship months earlier, Seska nevertheless held the view that she and Chakotay were- and should be- together, and she had made no secret of it to the crew. Now, when she perceived a possible, though unexpected, rival for his affections, she did the only thing she was capable of- flew into a rage. "So what's the scoop?" B'Elanna prodded, shaking him out of his thoughts. Chakotay sighed. "It's kind of a long story." "I'm not going anywhere." "Well," he began, "actually, I *was* smitten with her. And I still am. But we first met ages ago, at the Academy." "Starfleet Academy?" "Yes... we were both in our senior year. Kathryn plowed into me in a hallway one morning on the way to class. The same class I was headed for, incidentally." "And?" "Well, it turned out she'd sprained her arm in the fall and she fainted a few minutes later, so I carried her down to Medical. Then when I was sitting in class later, I couldn't get my mind off her. I mean, I'd barely met her, but there was this... aura about her that simply reeled me in." "So what did you do?" "What did I do? Oh, I literally seduced her. First I flirted outrageously when she got back to class. Then I cornered her outside the building, kissed her senseless and asked her out while she was still too loopy to think." B'Elanna collapsed into giggles. The image of her best friend seducing a fellow cadet was just too hilarious for her to be able to control herself. "Go on," she choked out between fits of laughter. Chakotay mock glared her for a second before resuming his tale. "I didn't think it would last long, to tell you the truth. I couldn't tell if she was actually interested or not and she was rather distant at the beginning of our first date. But she surprised me. She warmed up after a bit and it all grew from there. I don't know when our friendship became love, but I do know that we both realized it at the same time. We had five weeks of absolute happiness following that. And then everything fell apart." "What went wrong?" "I heard about the Cardassian attack on my home planet." Suddenly B'Elanna caught on. "And you left her to join the Maquis." "If the news had come one day later it would have been a completely different set of circumstances, but it came when it did. So yes, I left her. She begged to come with me, but I refused." He kicked at the floor. "Worst mistake I ever made." He shook his head disgustedly. "And to think, I was actually planning on asking her to marry me that day. I figured it was the most natural thing to do, seeing the way we loved each other. It would have been perfect, we would have been so happy together, but I had to go and ruin it all." He dropped his eyes to the floor. "And now she hates me, at least I think she does. Which isn't startling, considering the way I treated her." Chakotay dug his hands into his pockets. "So that's it. You asked to know, I've told you." "I see." "Any suggestions?" B'Elanna contemplated the facts. "I think you should try and make up," she advised. "If you two were that deeply in love, then I can't see Janeway disregarding that just because she's a little angry with you. So don't throw your relationship away, okay? Or I'll bust your head off." He laughed. "Warning noted." "Good. I'm going back down to Engineering for a while, there are some things I want to double-check. As for you- good luck." "Thanks. Oh, and B'Elanna?" "Yes?" "Keep this to yourself for now, will you? I don't want the rest of the crew to find out. Especially Seska." She snickered. "Sure." "Thanks." He watched her leave, musing on what she'd said. She did have a point; maybe he should go and try and talk to Kathryn. Now that she had been given time to get over her temper, who knew what might come out of it? The buzzer on his door rang and he groaned, half expecting Seska to come blazing in. "Enter." Chakotay was more than slightly amazed when Kathryn stepped into the room. She held her arms protectively around her chest and her eyes were red. She'd been crying. "Hi." "Hi." "Can we talk?" she ventured timidly. "Of course." They were both hushed for a few minutes, then all at once she blurted, "You're not a jerk." "I beg your pardon?" "You're not a jerk. You're the warmest, most caring person I've ever met and... and I do love you. I've never stopped loving you, no matter what. I guess I was just so astounded at meeting you again that I forgot all the good times and concentrated on the bad ones." "They do tend to stick in your mind," he commented dryly. "No. That's not what I mean... I had no right to say that, about you treating me like a worthless piece of jewelry. You never did that. And speaking of jewelry... you don't know how sorry I am about the necklace. I promised you I would never take it off, and I haven't, until now..." Kathryn gulped. "I don't know what made me do it." "We all do things we when we're angry that we later regret," he murmured softly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "No... you don't understand. It was the only thing I had left of you... and now it's gone..." Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Chakotay ached to hold her, to feel her in his arms once more and relieve her pain, but he couldn't push her. If she was to come to him, it would have to be in her own time. She swiped a hand across her face, striking away the tears. "So... I suppose what I really came here to ask was if you still love me after what I said to you?" She was hopeful, but prepared for the worst too. "I said I would always love you, Kathryn. That hasn't changed a bit and I've never stopped loving you." She managed a tiny smile through her tears. "Can I fall into your arms now?" "And say everything will be okay?" he asked gently, but with a touch of irony. "That would be a start." He was gratified to see her making small attempts at humor. To him it was a sign, however minute, that everything would indeed be okay. Chakotay spread his arms in a wordless invitation and Kathryn fairly ran into them. Even though so many years had passed, she still fit seamlessly with her head tucked under his chin. He hugged her close, comforting her and luxuriating in the glory of actual, physical contact after so long. "I love you, my girl," he sighed. [pic] Kathryn was warm, toasty warm. And she was lying comfortably in a bed, wrapped in a pair of strong arms. She opened her eyes, wondering where she was. Then she remembered. She was in Chakotay's quarters on the Liberty. She had come there to apologize for her earlier vehemence, he had welcomed her into his embrace, and then she had fallen asleep. He must have put her to bed, slipped in next to her, and then gone to sleep himself. She rolled over so she could take a good look at him. He appeared slightly different than she recalled: there were a few more lines of wear creasing his handsome features and a tattoo had been placed above his left eyebrow, but other than that he was the same man she knew and loved. Kathryn reached up to lazily trace the tattoo, reveling in the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips. The sensation roused him and he lifted a hand to lovingly stroke her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she mumbled. "It's alright." He paused. "Do you want to go and get something to eat?" "No, I just want to lie here for a while." She cuddled him tight and drew the blankets up over them. His arm slid around her back, holding her snugly in place, and she buried her head in his neck, thinking she wouldn't be able to get enough of him in a million lifetimes. "Kathryn, can I ask you a question?" Chakotay said subsequent to a brief silence. "Of course." She had an inkling of what it might be. He summoned his courage. "Was there ever... anybody else?" He braced himself for the answer. She had known this was coming. "I... was engaged to a man named Justin Tighe at one point, but he died in a shuttle crash a week after we got engaged. My father was killed too." Kathryn shuddered at the recollection. Chakotay was mortified. "Kathryn, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have brought it up." "It's okay. Anyway, I suppose Mark and I had some potential, but after you and Justin I wasn't really ready to get involved with anybody else." "Oh." The conversation lapsed back into quietude. "Kathryn?" "Hmm?" "I know I don't have any right to feel this way, but I'm jealous as hell." She chuckled. "Don't be." "Why not?" "Justin and I... we wouldn't have worked. We would have married, but we would have divorced sooner or later. We were too different, I guess. And it wasn't the same as you and me." "What do you mean?" "Well... I loved him, but we weren't right for each other, we wouldn't have been happy... and deep down in my heart there was always this unfillable emptiness inside me... It was as though a part of me was missing, a part that solely you could replace. Because that part of me was with you, wherever you were, whatever you were doing. That was when I realized you are the only one who makes me whole... I've always felt a connection with you that can never be broken, and that I've never felt with anyone else... With you I am complete, but without you I am nothing. You are the other half of my soul, Chakotay." Chakotay sat up and pulled Kathryn to him, kissing her forehead, perceiving that she had just bared her soul to him. "That's exactly how it was for me and Seska," he said. "I loved her- or at least I thought I did. But there was always something missing. You." He paused. "When I was lonely... I would dream about you... I'd wonder if you were happy or if you had ever gotten married... I used to lie awake and remember the sound of your laugh, the way you felt in my arms, the touch of your lips on mine... It was all I had sometimes to keep me going. It would ease the pain a little, but then I'd think of the life we could have had together, and I just wanted to hate myself for leaving you." "Don't be too hard on yourself," she said. "I did the same thing. You don't know how many times I thought that maybe if I'd done something differently, you would have stayed and we could have started a family... I had to console myself with memories of you, of the way you would hold me, your smile and how your hands felt on me... And sometimes I even thought that if I wished hard enough and for long enough, you would come back to me." "I'm sorry," he said. "It wasn't you, it was me. I made a stupid mistake and I still regret it with all of my heart. Please, can you forgive me?" "I already did." She smiled. "You shouldn't even have to ask. There's nothing to forgive." "Thank you." They were both quiet. Kathryn was waging an inner battle. "Chakotay," she muttered, "There's something I have to tell you." "You can tell me anything." "You're not going to like this one. But promise you won't hate me?" Her voice trembled. "I love you, Kathryn. I could never hate you," he reassured. She rested her head on his chest, taking solace in the steady rise and fall of his torso. "Chakotay... I'm a spy. For Starfleet." "I thought as much," he said mournfully, "though I wished with all my heart that you weren't." "Then you know what my mission is. To capture your ship." "Are you going to do it?" He wasn't mad, just curious. Kathryn took a deep breath, aware she was about to go against everything she held dear, against the principles she had been taught to believe and uphold. But Chakotay's arms were tight around her, dissolving her doubts like the sun washing away a light fog, and as she saw the sheer love and devotion and unconditional trust visible in his eyes, she knew she couldn't deceive him any more than she could kill him. "No," she whispered. He was stunned. "You're not?" "I can't let them send you to jail, Chakotay. You probably wouldn't get out for the rest of your life and... and I couldn't bear to see you a prisoner like that." "What are you going to do then?" he asked mildly. "I'm going to let you go." "How?" "I'll set it up... so that you can escape... if you let Voyager capture you." "Voyager?" "My ship," she explained. "In three weeks I'm supposed to have the Liberty at a set of coordinates I've been given, where Voyager will ambush us. If you let me pretend to capture you, I can get you out. But if the Liberty doesn't show up, Starfleet will think something's wrong and we'll lose our chance." "Kathryn," Chakotay said ruefully, "I can't ask you to jeopardize your own life for me. There's a very slim chance this will actually work, and if anyone ever found out what you did you would be court martialed and most probably jailed yourself." "That's a risk I'm willing to take. And besides, the last time I was ready to give up everything you ignored me, and we both paid the price. I don't want either of us to make the same mistake again." "No," he said softly. "Neither do I." "Then you'll let me go through with it? I have to send one transmission a week to headquarters, I can't stop doing that or Admiral Paris will suspect something anyway, but I can pull this off... Please, let me do this for you, Chakotay." "You sure you're not going to have second thoughts along the way?" he asked flippantly, conceding the point and trying to lighten the mood. Kathryn worked her hand into Chakotay's and brought it to her lips, kissing a trail from his knuckles to his fingertips. When she spoke, it was into his skin. "How can I betray the only man I've ever truly loved?" [pic] It was the last night before Voyager's planned trap. Kathryn was in Chakotay's quarters, awaiting his return. They had become lovers once more on the second night she was aboard, having spent the first holding each other tightly. Nothing had changed. He could still make her burn with one kiss, read her feelings with a look, communicate volumes with a single touch. They spent all their off-duty hours in either his quarters or hers, the limited time they had remaining together being far too precious to waste. It was made all the more precious by the fact that this time they knew for sure they would never see each other again. Exhaling heavily, Chakotay strode through the door and kicked off his shoes. "Sorry about that," he grunted. "B'Elanna had some new warp core modifications she wanted to show me." "It's okay," Kathryn said from her solitary place by the window. He tugged off his socks and shoved them under the bed with his shoes. "You alright?" "Fine," she replied quietly. He straightened to face her and felt his breath catch in his throat. She stood gazing out the viewport, framed in the starlight, looking for all the world like an angel in the surreal glow of the distant plasma storms. She sensed him staring and turned. "What?" she asked softly. "You're beautiful." Something in her melted. She went to him and their lips met in a blazing kiss. Kathryn anchored her arms around Chakotay's neck as their kisses intensified, needing to support her weakening knees. Her legs buckled momentarily when he yanked her closer to him and they stumbled backwards to slam into the wall. She gasped as his kisses began to travel down her neck and he pulled away. "Kathryn, are you sure about this?" he asked, voice husky. "If there's one thing I'm sure of right now, it's this," she responded truthfully. He answered her with a passionate kiss which quickly escalated in fervor as their passion flared. Kathryn moaned as his mouth moved down her neck and began to frantically unbutton his shirt, conscious only of the fact that she wanted him. He started to push her sideways along the wall, but tripped and they fell onto the bed in a heap, Chakotay on top. He covered her mouth with his as his hands slid to the collar of her jacket. She squirmed beneath him as he madly groped for the fasteners and grabbed the top of his shirt, not even bothering with the buttons as she ripped it open, desperate to feel his cool skin against hers. He pushed himself up far enough to gaze at her, desire plainly evident in his eyes. Then he lowered himself back down and hungrily recaptured her mouth. The next second, two tops hit the floor. Both were in shreds. [pic] Chakotay awakened when something warm and wet touched his face. Pushing his eyelids up, he belatedly realized it was Kathryn, eyes filled with tears, placing feather-light kisses on his neck and face. "Hey," he murmured, raising his hand and wiping away the drops. "What's wrong?" "It's just that... I love you so much, and I don't want to go..." She lowered her head and sobbed into his chest. He clutched her hard and whispered, "I don't want you to go either." She lifted her tear-streaked face and fixed her gaze on his. "Then take me with you," she said, echoing her plea of years earlier. "What? Kathryn, you know we can't do that... this plan is risky enough as it is!" "No... listen to me," she said, and there was a new light in her eyes. "When I spring you today, grab me... pretend you're taking me hostage. I'll come back here and escape with you, we can start over. Please?" "Kathryn," Chakotay said remorsefully, "you know as well as I do that Starfleet is not going to give up one of its finest captains for nothing! They'd come looking for you and, as much as I hate to admit it, the Liberty is no match for a Galaxy-class starship. Or even Voyager, for that matter. They'd overpower us and take us into custody, and then this whole escapade will have been worthless." "If we're captured, so be it. What does it matter, as long as we have each other?" Kathryn queried. "It's not us I'm worried about, it's the rest of the crew." "Then we'll take a shuttle... go off by ourselves, settle on a neutral planet, head off into the Beta Quadrant or something... there has to be a way..." She was frantic, desperate to find any solution, however preposterous, that would keep them together. "Kathryn," he countered, "I won't say a part of me isn't tempted by the possibilities. But in this case, they won't work. We're both smart enough to comprehend that and we have to accept it. We can never be together- not without a miracle. This is all we can ever have and we must live with that." He surveyed her face, waiting for her acknowledgment. After endless seconds she nodded dejectedly. "You're right, you always are... but oh, Chakotay, I'm going to miss you so much..." She trailed off, sniffling. "I'll miss you too, Kathryn, more than you'll ever know." She slipped off the bed and began to hurriedly dress, choosing to try and bury her feelings for the time being. He joined her, relieved she hadn't offered any further resistance to the inevitable. Two minutes later she stood fully clothed, ready for duty, face impassive, eyes the only indication of her emotions. Chakotay had his back to her and was retrieving something from a drawer. "What are you looking for?" she inquired nervously. He turned, hand outstretched, and she gasped, astonished to see her birthday necklace draped over his hand, the heart completely mended and without a trace of the fracture. "How did you..." she began. "Amazing what you can do with a set of engineering tools, isn't it?" he asked dryly. "Chakotay..." Her eyes were watering, tears about to spill over. "Shh, don't." He stepped forward and fixed the chain in place around her neck, letting the heart come to rest in his palm for a moment. "Wear this, not as a memory of me, but as a memory of us," he entreated. "Consider it... a symbol of our love." "I'll never take it off," Kathryn said, repeating her old promise, and they both knew it would hold true forever. Chakotay stepped forward and kissed her deeply, longingly, allowing everything he felt for her to seep out. She responded on the same terms, her mouth greedily sucking at his as her arms wound around his neck, aware that this kiss would have to last them a lifetime. After this there would be no more chances. At long last they separated. "I love you," he said. "I love you too," she replied. There was nothing else to say. They walked out, side by side, resigned to their destiny. "Chakotay?" Kathryn said just before the turbolift door opened to let them onto the bridge. "Yes?" "Pray for a miracle."
Part 2- Reunions
"You wanted to see me, Admiral?" Captain Kathryn Janeway asked. Owen Paris rose from his seat. "That's right Captain. It's about Tuvok." "Tuvok?" she reiterated fearfully, concern for her friend rising inside her. "Is he hurt?" Owen looked sheepish. "Well, no. Not exactly. But it appears he won't be able to go on the mission. He's come down with a nasty case of the Tarkelian flu." "Oh." He sighed. "Obviously, we can't just scrap the mission- it's too important." "What did you have in mind, sir?" she asked a little warily. He considered carefully for a moment before replying. "We've decided to send you in his place." "Me?" "I know it might seem risky, assigning a Starfleet captain to infiltrate a Maquis ship, but you're the best we have under the circumstances." "I understand." "Good. You leave tomorrow at eleven hundred hours. A transport will take you to Maquis headquarters, where you'll be picked up by one of our agents. He'll make sure you're posted to the Liberty as chief navigator." Kathryn nodded. "What information do we have about the ship?" "Not much, I'm afraid. We don't even know the captain's name or the crew complement. It'll be up to you to send us all relevant details once you're aboard. However, Tuvok's illness obviously caused a delay, so we're going to have to speed up the schedule. You'll only have three weeks to guide the ship to the prearranged coordinates before Voyager gets there. Make the best of them." "Yes, sir." "Dismissed. And, Kathryn," he added as she turned on her heel, "Good luck." She acknowledged him with another nod before disappearing out the door. [pic] Five days later she was smack in the middle of Maquis headquarters, trying her best to fit in and not stand out among all the various cell leaders and captains. It wasn't that hard, actually. The Maquis were a lot less rigorous on matters of protocol and clothing than Starfleet, and it was nice to be able to leave her constraining uniform jacket behind and act like a normal person for once. Kathryn slung her bag more comfortably over her shoulder and kept walking. True to Admiral Paris's word, she had been hustled away by a secret Starfleet agent as soon as she stepped off the transport, and he had been successful in getting her appointed to the Liberty. Now she was going to meet the officer in charge of crew assignments, who would take her up to the ship. Feeling a little nervous in spite of herself, she marched into the transporter room and saw him already waiting for her on the transporter pad. She joined him there, unsuccessfully attempting to quell the butterflies in her stomach. "Energize," he ordered, and the room dissipated in a flash of blue light as the transporter activated, delivering them straight to the bridge of the Liberty and into the characteristic bustle of a starship being prepared for a voyage. She scanned the room, subconsciously comparing it to her own ship. Voyager's bridge was considerably bigger, but that was to be expected; it was a much larger ship. In addition, the Liberty seemed to be a lot more antiquated than Voyager; from the appearance of its technology, it was at least thirty years old. A few crewmembers were stationed at their posts and two or three afforded her mild glances of curiosity before returning to their work, but other than that the bridge was mostly empty. To her right, a large, powerfully built man was hunched over a console, immersed in work and apparently not having heard the transporter. "Captain!" the assignment officer said to him jovially. "I've brought you your new navigator." The man straightened and turned. Kathryn felt her mind go numb with shock as she recognized him and struggled to keep her mouth from hanging open. The captain's face paled as well and he, too, stood gaping at her, wearing an expression seriously akin to that of a zombie. She knew they were probably attracting odd looks from the rest of the bridge crew by now, but they were utterly oblivious to the rest of the world, too stunned to move a muscle and able to do nothing except stare at each other. She gazed into the face of the man she had thought she would never see again. The same man who had haunted her dreams since her days at the Academy. Chakotay. The assignment officer's voice was a dull roar in her ears as he prattled on about the details of her posting. However, only mindful of Chakotay's presence in front of her, she wasn't paying attention to anything else, even when she left the bridge in the company of another woman after he ordered her to find Kathryn some quarters. Instead, she was remembering the hurt, the pain, the loneliness he had caused her to suffer so long ago. And wondering if the scars would ever heal. [pic] She knew it was him as soon as the chime sounded. She'd been dreading it from the moment she stepped off the bridge that morning. But there was no avoiding it, and the sooner she got it over with, the better. "Come in." Chakotay halted just inside the door, unwilling to additionally invade her personal space. "Hello Kathryn." She was mute. "How are you?" he tried again. She didn't reply, just stood there with her cold eyes boring into him. "I'm sorry," he hedged, endeavoring to get a response out of her. "Oh, you're sorry. Is that supposed to make everything better?" she shot back bitterly, the first sentence she'd said since he'd entered. "I don't know what else to say..." "Say? What is there to say? You left me. That's all." Her icy facade was starting to crack, the woman underneath becoming more and more exposed. He winced slightly at her point-blank statement and she continued her tirade, unnoticing. "When you told me you were leaving Starfleet I wanted to come with you, but you wouldn't listen. I would have willingly given everything up for you. My life, my career, my friends, my family, just so I could be with you. But no, you didn't care. You wanted to do it all yourself." The memories were threatening to overwhelm her by now. It seemed like only yesterday she had been happily lying in his arms while he told her how much he loved her and it took her entire resolve not to let her sentiments show through in her eyes. Kathryn took a big shaky breath, not comprehending what was provoking this reaction from her. Perhaps it was the combined effect of everything that had occurred in the past two hours, or perhaps it was the result of being so far away from home, but seeing Chakotay for the first time in years had brought back feelings she thought she had buried a long time ago, feelings she had hoped never to have to cope with again. Anger, pain, helplessness and countless other emotions swirled around unfettered inside her and all she knew was that she had to get them out of her system somehow. "Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep because you were gone? How many nights I dreamed about you and then woke up crying because it was all an illusion?" She was screaming now and he involuntarily backed up beneath the fierceness of her wrath. "I loved you so much it scared me. You held my heart in your hands, and what did you do? You broke it. You used me and you broke it." Her voice turned sad, sorrowful. "Did you even love me at all? Or was I just a meaningless fling to you?" He was stung. "Of course I loved you, Kathryn. How could you ever think anything different?" "Well, you certainly didn't act like it," she spat. "And what do you expect me to do now? Just fall into your arms and say everything will be okay? Because that's not going to happen. Maybe I would have when I was younger, but I've grown up now. I'm not the same person I was at the Academy and neither are you." "Yes, I can see that," Chakotay said quietly. "But Kathryn, please understand that I never meant it to happen this way..." "Oh, you didn't?" she snarled, her temper rising again. "Well then you should have done something about it. You should have taken me with you, like I suggested. Or at least left me some way to contact you, instead of throwing me off to the side as if I were some worthless piece of jewelry like... like this damned necklace..." And before he could check her, she had shoved her fingers inside the delicate chain he had given her all those years ago and torn it free of her neck in an unthinking fury. She flung it against the wall and the silver heart clattered to the floor- Split in two. They were both shocked speechless. Chakotay snapped himself out of it first. "No... no... Oh, Kathryn, why'd you do that?" he asked brokenly as he stooped to pick up the pieces. Kathryn was still tongue-tied, but realization dawned on her face as the full impact of what she had just done hit her like a brick. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hand flew to her mouth. Chakotay gathered the chain and the two halves of the heart and cradled them in his hand as he swung back to face her. She stared at him, unsure what he was going to do. "Kathryn, I know I acted like a selfish jerk when I left you but please believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you. I've said this before and I'm repeating it now because it's true. I was young and headstrong and too stupid to understand what I had or what I was losing and I ended up wounding the woman I had fallen in love with. I truly wish there were some way to go back and undo that damage. However, as things are, all we can do is move on." She was ready to counter his words but he stopped her. "No. You've made it clear you don't love me and I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. If you want to talk you know where to find me." He turned to exit but halted at the door. "I won't bother you again." [pic] B'Elanna found him, hours later, aimlessly pacing around his quarters, when she came to deliver a report. "We've finished the warp core upgrades," she declared proudly. "We can do some more as we go along, but I'd say we're all ready for launch tomorrow." He remained silent and she waved the PADD in the air, hoping to gain his attention. "Here are the details." "Thanks, just put them on the table, will you? I'll review them later." She frowned. Chakotay didn't usually act this way. "Is something wrong?" "What?" he said absently, then registered what she had asked. "Oh, no, nothing," he assured her far too quickly. "Look, you may be able to fool Seska with that, but you can't fool me. Now what's the matter?" When he once more declined to answer, she hazarded a wild guess. "Is this something to do with that new girl... what's her name... Kathryn Janeway?" "What makes you say that?" Chakotay asked a little overly defensively. B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "Well, how about the way you two were goggling at each other on the bridge? Anybody would think you had just seen a ghost!" He snorted lightly at that one but said nothing. She continued, calmer now, "I wasn't the only person who noticed it, you know. Half the crew already thinks you're smitten with her. And you should have seen Seska earlier. She's about ready to bite Janeway's head off!" He gave a small laugh. "I'll bet she is," he muttered wryly. Even though he had ended their relationship months earlier, Seska nevertheless held the view that she and Chakotay were- and should be- together, and she had made no secret of it to the crew. Now, when she perceived a possible, though unexpected, rival for his affections, she did the only thing she was capable of- flew into a rage. "So what's the scoop?" B'Elanna prodded, shaking him out of his thoughts. Chakotay sighed. "It's kind of a long story." "I'm not going anywhere." "Well," he began, "actually, I *was* smitten with her. And I still am. But we first met ages ago, at the Academy." "Starfleet Academy?" "Yes... we were both in our senior year. Kathryn plowed into me in a hallway one morning on the way to class. The same class I was headed for, incidentally." "And?" "Well, it turned out she'd sprained her arm in the fall and she fainted a few minutes later, so I carried her down to Medical. Then when I was sitting in class later, I couldn't get my mind off her. I mean, I'd barely met her, but there was this... aura about her that simply reeled me in." "So what did you do?" "What did I do? Oh, I literally seduced her. First I flirted outrageously when she got back to class. Then I cornered her outside the building, kissed her senseless and asked her out while she was still too loopy to think." B'Elanna collapsed into giggles. The image of her best friend seducing a fellow cadet was just too hilarious for her to be able to control herself. "Go on," she choked out between fits of laughter. Chakotay mock glared her for a second before resuming his tale. "I didn't think it would last long, to tell you the truth. I couldn't tell if she was actually interested or not and she was rather distant at the beginning of our first date. But she surprised me. She warmed up after a bit and it all grew from there. I don't know when our friendship became love, but I do know that we both realized it at the same time. We had five weeks of absolute happiness following that. And then everything fell apart." "What went wrong?" "I heard about the Cardassian attack on my home planet." Suddenly B'Elanna caught on. "And you left her to join the Maquis." "If the news had come one day later it would have been a completely different set of circumstances, but it came when it did. So yes, I left her. She begged to come with me, but I refused." He kicked at the floor. "Worst mistake I ever made." He shook his head disgustedly. "And to think, I was actually planning on asking her to marry me that day. I figured it was the most natural thing to do, seeing the way we loved each other. It would have been perfect, we would have been so happy together, but I had to go and ruin it all." He dropped his eyes to the floor. "And now she hates me, at least I think she does. Which isn't startling, considering the way I treated her." Chakotay dug his hands into his pockets. "So that's it. You asked to know, I've told you." "I see." "Any suggestions?" B'Elanna contemplated the facts. "I think you should try and make up," she advised. "If you two were that deeply in love, then I can't see Janeway disregarding that just because she's a little angry with you. So don't throw your relationship away, okay? Or I'll bust your head off." He laughed. "Warning noted." "Good. I'm going back down to Engineering for a while, there are some things I want to double-check. As for you- good luck." "Thanks. Oh, and B'Elanna?" "Yes?" "Keep this to yourself for now, will you? I don't want the rest of the crew to find out. Especially Seska." She snickered. "Sure." "Thanks." He watched her leave, musing on what she'd said. She did have a point; maybe he should go and try and talk to Kathryn. Now that she had been given time to get over her temper, who knew what might come out of it? The buzzer on his door rang and he groaned, half expecting Seska to come blazing in. "Enter." Chakotay was more than slightly amazed when Kathryn stepped into the room. She held her arms protectively around her chest and her eyes were red. She'd been crying. "Hi." "Hi." "Can we talk?" she ventured timidly. "Of course." They were both hushed for a few minutes, then all at once she blurted, "You're not a jerk." "I beg your pardon?" "You're not a jerk. You're the warmest, most caring person I've ever met and... and I do love you. I've never stopped loving you, no matter what. I guess I was just so astounded at meeting you again that I forgot all the good times and concentrated on the bad ones." "They do tend to stick in your mind," he commented dryly. "No. That's not what I mean... I had no right to say that, about you treating me like a worthless piece of jewelry. You never did that. And speaking of jewelry... you don't know how sorry I am about the necklace. I promised you I would never take it off, and I haven't, until now..." Kathryn gulped. "I don't know what made me do it." "We all do things we when we're angry that we later regret," he murmured softly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "No... you don't understand. It was the only thing I had left of you... and now it's gone..." Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Chakotay ached to hold her, to feel her in his arms once more and relieve her pain, but he couldn't push her. If she was to come to him, it would have to be in her own time. She swiped a hand across her face, striking away the tears. "So... I suppose what I really came here to ask was if you still love me after what I said to you?" She was hopeful, but prepared for the worst too. "I said I would always love you, Kathryn. That hasn't changed a bit and I've never stopped loving you." She managed a tiny smile through her tears. "Can I fall into your arms now?" "And say everything will be okay?" he asked gently, but with a touch of irony. "That would be a start." He was gratified to see her making small attempts at humor. To him it was a sign, however minute, that everything would indeed be okay. Chakotay spread his arms in a wordless invitation and Kathryn fairly ran into them. Even though so many years had passed, she still fit seamlessly with her head tucked under his chin. He hugged her close, comforting her and luxuriating in the glory of actual, physical contact after so long. "I love you, my girl," he sighed. [pic] Kathryn was warm, toasty warm. And she was lying comfortably in a bed, wrapped in a pair of strong arms. She opened her eyes, wondering where she was. Then she remembered. She was in Chakotay's quarters on the Liberty. She had come there to apologize for her earlier vehemence, he had welcomed her into his embrace, and then she had fallen asleep. He must have put her to bed, slipped in next to her, and then gone to sleep himself. She rolled over so she could take a good look at him. He appeared slightly different than she recalled: there were a few more lines of wear creasing his handsome features and a tattoo had been placed above his left eyebrow, but other than that he was the same man she knew and loved. Kathryn reached up to lazily trace the tattoo, reveling in the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips. The sensation roused him and he lifted a hand to lovingly stroke her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she mumbled. "It's alright." He paused. "Do you want to go and get something to eat?" "No, I just want to lie here for a while." She cuddled him tight and drew the blankets up over them. His arm slid around her back, holding her snugly in place, and she buried her head in his neck, thinking she wouldn't be able to get enough of him in a million lifetimes. "Kathryn, can I ask you a question?" Chakotay said subsequent to a brief silence. "Of course." She had an inkling of what it might be. He summoned his courage. "Was there ever... anybody else?" He braced himself for the answer. She had known this was coming. "I... was engaged to a man named Justin Tighe at one point, but he died in a shuttle crash a week after we got engaged. My father was killed too." Kathryn shuddered at the recollection. Chakotay was mortified. "Kathryn, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have brought it up." "It's okay. Anyway, I suppose Mark and I had some potential, but after you and Justin I wasn't really ready to get involved with anybody else." "Oh." The conversation lapsed back into quietude. "Kathryn?" "Hmm?" "I know I don't have any right to feel this way, but I'm jealous as hell." She chuckled. "Don't be." "Why not?" "Justin and I... we wouldn't have worked. We would have married, but we would have divorced sooner or later. We were too different, I guess. And it wasn't the same as you and me." "What do you mean?" "Well... I loved him, but we weren't right for each other, we wouldn't have been happy... and deep down in my heart there was always this unfillable emptiness inside me... It was as though a part of me was missing, a part that solely you could replace. Because that part of me was with you, wherever you were, whatever you were doing. That was when I realized you are the only one who makes me whole... I've always felt a connection with you that can never be broken, and that I've never felt with anyone else... With you I am complete, but without you I am nothing. You are the other half of my soul, Chakotay." Chakotay sat up and pulled Kathryn to him, kissing her forehead, perceiving that she had just bared her soul to him. "That's exactly how it was for me and Seska," he said. "I loved her- or at least I thought I did. But there was always something missing. You." He paused. "When I was lonely... I would dream about you... I'd wonder if you were happy or if you had ever gotten married... I used to lie awake and remember the sound of your laugh, the way you felt in my arms, the touch of your lips on mine... It was all I had sometimes to keep me going. It would ease the pain a little, but then I'd think of the life we could have had together, and I just wanted to hate myself for leaving you." "Don't be too hard on yourself," she said. "I did the same thing. You don't know how many times I thought that maybe if I'd done something differently, you would have stayed and we could have started a family... I had to console myself with memories of you, of the way you would hold me, your smile and how your hands felt on me... And sometimes I even thought that if I wished hard enough and for long enough, you would come back to me." "I'm sorry," he said. "It wasn't you, it was me. I made a stupid mistake and I still regret it with all of my heart. Please, can you forgive me?" "I already did." She smiled. "You shouldn't even have to ask. There's nothing to forgive." "Thank you." They were both quiet. Kathryn was waging an inner battle. "Chakotay," she muttered, "There's something I have to tell you." "You can tell me anything." "You're not going to like this one. But promise you won't hate me?" Her voice trembled. "I love you, Kathryn. I could never hate you," he reassured. She rested her head on his chest, taking solace in the steady rise and fall of his torso. "Chakotay... I'm a spy. For Starfleet." "I thought as much," he said mournfully, "though I wished with all my heart that you weren't." "Then you know what my mission is. To capture your ship." "Are you going to do it?" He wasn't mad, just curious. Kathryn took a deep breath, aware she was about to go against everything she held dear, against the principles she had been taught to believe and uphold. But Chakotay's arms were tight around her, dissolving her doubts like the sun washing away a light fog, and as she saw the sheer love and devotion and unconditional trust visible in his eyes, she knew she couldn't deceive him any more than she could kill him. "No," she whispered. He was stunned. "You're not?" "I can't let them send you to jail, Chakotay. You probably wouldn't get out for the rest of your life and... and I couldn't bear to see you a prisoner like that." "What are you going to do then?" he asked mildly. "I'm going to let you go." "How?" "I'll set it up... so that you can escape... if you let Voyager capture you." "Voyager?" "My ship," she explained. "In three weeks I'm supposed to have the Liberty at a set of coordinates I've been given, where Voyager will ambush us. If you let me pretend to capture you, I can get you out. But if the Liberty doesn't show up, Starfleet will think something's wrong and we'll lose our chance." "Kathryn," Chakotay said ruefully, "I can't ask you to jeopardize your own life for me. There's a very slim chance this will actually work, and if anyone ever found out what you did you would be court martialed and most probably jailed yourself." "That's a risk I'm willing to take. And besides, the last time I was ready to give up everything you ignored me, and we both paid the price. I don't want either of us to make the same mistake again." "No," he said softly. "Neither do I." "Then you'll let me go through with it? I have to send one transmission a week to headquarters, I can't stop doing that or Admiral Paris will suspect something anyway, but I can pull this off... Please, let me do this for you, Chakotay." "You sure you're not going to have second thoughts along the way?" he asked flippantly, conceding the point and trying to lighten the mood. Kathryn worked her hand into Chakotay's and brought it to her lips, kissing a trail from his knuckles to his fingertips. When she spoke, it was into his skin. "How can I betray the only man I've ever truly loved?" [pic] It was the last night before Voyager's planned trap. Kathryn was in Chakotay's quarters, awaiting his return. They had become lovers once more on the second night she was aboard, having spent the first holding each other tightly. Nothing had changed. He could still make her burn with one kiss, read her feelings with a look, communicate volumes with a single touch. They spent all their off-duty hours in either his quarters or hers, the limited time they had remaining together being far too precious to waste. It was made all the more precious by the fact that this time they knew for sure they would never see each other again. Exhaling heavily, Chakotay strode through the door and kicked off his shoes. "Sorry about that," he grunted. "B'Elanna had some new warp core modifications she wanted to show me." "It's okay," Kathryn said from her solitary place by the window. He tugged off his socks and shoved them under the bed with his shoes. "You alright?" "Fine," she replied quietly. He straightened to face her and felt his breath catch in his throat. She stood gazing out the viewport, framed in the starlight, looking for all the world like an angel in the surreal glow of the distant plasma storms. She sensed him staring and turned. "What?" she asked softly. "You're beautiful." Something in her melted. She went to him and their lips met in a blazing kiss. Kathryn anchored her arms around Chakotay's neck as their kisses intensified, needing to support her weakening knees. Her legs buckled momentarily when he yanked her closer to him and they stumbled backwards to slam into the wall. She gasped as his kisses began to travel down her neck and he pulled away. "Kathryn, are you sure about this?" he asked, voice husky. "If there's one thing I'm sure of right now, it's this," she responded truthfully. He answered her with a passionate kiss which quickly escalated in fervor as their passion flared. Kathryn moaned as his mouth moved down her neck and began to frantically unbutton his shirt, conscious only of the fact that she wanted him. He started to push her sideways along the wall, but tripped and they fell onto the bed in a heap, Chakotay on top. He covered her mouth with his as his hands slid to the collar of her jacket. She squirmed beneath him as he madly groped for the fasteners and grabbed the top of his shirt, not even bothering with the buttons as she ripped it open, desperate to feel his cool skin against hers. He pushed himself up far enough to gaze at her, desire plainly evident in his eyes. Then he lowered himself back down and hungrily recaptured her mouth. The next second, two tops hit the floor. Both were in shreds. [pic] Chakotay awakened when something warm and wet touched his face. Pushing his eyelids up, he belatedly realized it was Kathryn, eyes filled with tears, placing feather-light kisses on his neck and face. "Hey," he murmured, raising his hand and wiping away the drops. "What's wrong?" "It's just that... I love you so much, and I don't want to go..." She lowered her head and sobbed into his chest. He clutched her hard and whispered, "I don't want you to go either." She lifted her tear-streaked face and fixed her gaze on his. "Then take me with you," she said, echoing her plea of years earlier. "What? Kathryn, you know we can't do that... this plan is risky enough as it is!" "No... listen to me," she said, and there was a new light in her eyes. "When I spring you today, grab me... pretend you're taking me hostage. I'll come back here and escape with you, we can start over. Please?" "Kathryn," Chakotay said remorsefully, "you know as well as I do that Starfleet is not going to give up one of its finest captains for nothing! They'd come looking for you and, as much as I hate to admit it, the Liberty is no match for a Galaxy-class starship. Or even Voyager, for that matter. They'd overpower us and take us into custody, and then this whole escapade will have been worthless." "If we're captured, so be it. What does it matter, as long as we have each other?" Kathryn queried. "It's not us I'm worried about, it's the rest of the crew." "Then we'll take a shuttle... go off by ourselves, settle on a neutral planet, head off into the Beta Quadrant or something... there has to be a way..." She was frantic, desperate to find any solution, however preposterous, that would keep them together. "Kathryn," he countered, "I won't say a part of me isn't tempted by the possibilities. But in this case, they won't work. We're both smart enough to comprehend that and we have to accept it. We can never be together- not without a miracle. This is all we can ever have and we must live with that." He surveyed her face, waiting for her acknowledgment. After endless seconds she nodded dejectedly. "You're right, you always are... but oh, Chakotay, I'm going to miss you so much..." She trailed off, sniffling. "I'll miss you too, Kathryn, more than you'll ever know." She slipped off the bed and began to hurriedly dress, choosing to try and bury her feelings for the time being. He joined her, relieved she hadn't offered any further resistance to the inevitable. Two minutes later she stood fully clothed, ready for duty, face impassive, eyes the only indication of her emotions. Chakotay had his back to her and was retrieving something from a drawer. "What are you looking for?" she inquired nervously. He turned, hand outstretched, and she gasped, astonished to see her birthday necklace draped over his hand, the heart completely mended and without a trace of the fracture. "How did you..." she began. "Amazing what you can do with a set of engineering tools, isn't it?" he asked dryly. "Chakotay..." Her eyes were watering, tears about to spill over. "Shh, don't." He stepped forward and fixed the chain in place around her neck, letting the heart come to rest in his palm for a moment. "Wear this, not as a memory of me, but as a memory of us," he entreated. "Consider it... a symbol of our love." "I'll never take it off," Kathryn said, repeating her old promise, and they both knew it would hold true forever. Chakotay stepped forward and kissed her deeply, longingly, allowing everything he felt for her to seep out. She responded on the same terms, her mouth greedily sucking at his as her arms wound around his neck, aware that this kiss would have to last them a lifetime. After this there would be no more chances. At long last they separated. "I love you," he said. "I love you too," she replied. There was nothing else to say. They walked out, side by side, resigned to their destiny. "Chakotay?" Kathryn said just before the turbolift door opened to let them onto the bridge. "Yes?" "Pray for a miracle."