Disclaimer: Okay, maybe not only cute boys snuggling, but I still am going to get to that Red Eyes Black Dragon*Jyounouchi fic as soon as I can.

Fairydust

Keel (Tales of Eternia): Just out of curiosity, will the title ever make much sense?

PM: Err… Probably not.

*long silence*

PM *adding lamely*: I just liked it. *coughs* Anyhow, I discovered one of my mistakes but… too lazy to change it! --;; I discovered that Ryou-kun calls his father 'tousan' rather than 'otousan' (of course, I find this AFTER I wraked my manga collection trying to fiind just ONE part where he mentions his dad, and I skip over the ONLY part where he does! *grits teeth*). However, I don't like the sound of 'tousan' as much as 'otousan', so I'm just leaving it. Anyhow, I want to thank the reviewers:

Shamanic Guaridan Lena (arigatou for your reviews! :) And hurry with your fic! It's really getting good!), WriterOfYaoiFics (here, here!), rayemars (Ryou: PM HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR?!?!?! PM: What do you call this fic? Ryou: Torture!), Indigo Tantarian (Well, I figured that Ryou-kun and Jyounouchi were actually pretty good friends, so they should be okay together… at least, that's my justification for not sticking Jyounouchi in somebody else's dorm room, like Yuugi or Honda), Wildwolf (it was your Miss Congenality fic that inspired me to write this fluff… :P Arigatou), Mejiki (No Seto*Ryou? Wah, but it's such a cute coupling), Anubis (Yami Bakura isn't popping up for a while… and that's not to give a headache! Gomen! I might do a little, since I have some chapters which are dying in the process of writing…), juvi (arigatou… but don't drool on your keyboard! I've done it too many times, and my parents don't want to buy anymore! :P j/k), angelbird1224, yami no hikari, Queen of Games, and Sarina Fannel (*hugs Ryou and Seto* Very kawaii indeed ^_^). Thanks to all 13 of you, and I hope this chapter is up-to-par. :)

Enjoy!

~ The First Disaster… And Then Some ~

According to Merriam Webster's Pocket Dictionary, the definition of informal is:

1. Without formality or ceremony

2. For ordinary or familiar use

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I do not think that a restaurant that I could never afford to even sit in… unless otousan sells our house… constitutes as 'informal'.

And when the people you're meeting are all wearing clothes that looks as if it cost a leg and arm to buy while you yourself is wearing something that looks more like it came out of a garage sale, it is a bit… well, demoralizing. Just a tad, of course, nothing more.

This, of course, will explain why everybody is staring at me as if Kaiba-kun has randomly dragged a junkie off the streets, otherwise known as me. I suppose that lamely explaining to them that actually, I came off a very nice college campus where I was studying only to suddenly discover that I had three minutes to prepare for this wouldn't really help matters much. But hey, that might just be me.

The man at the counter stares at me for a moment, probably debating whether or not to throw me out. I can feel my cheeks turning red, considering how everybody else is doing the same exact thing. Personally, I wouldn't really mind if they did that… heck, I'll welcome it! Instead, Kaiba-kun… who is as well-dressed as anybody else… confidently strides up to him and tells him he is meeting somebody.

Quickly the man becomes all smiles and happily leads him in, shooting me a warning look. I must look barbaric, he's probably wondering if I even know how to use a napkin and spoon. Maybe he thinks I'll try to order a hamburger or hot dog. Oh Kami-sama, somebody help me.

Kaiba-kun, who has this amazing ability to make sure I'm noticed yet at the same exact time completely ignore me himself, suddenly takes me by the arm and drags me into the restaurant. If my cheeks haven't lit up like Rudolph's red nose yet, they certainly have now. I feel as if I am being led into a torture room, except with very bright lights and expensive food.

It certainly doesn't help that he is being led to one of those private rooms, where each person has an individual waiter trained to wait on you hand and foot like a puppy dog (Jyounouchi-kun will kill me if he heard that). As the heavy oak doors close, ensnaring me in this gilded cage, my embarrassment is not at all lifted as I look at the two people already seated at the table. Both are staring at me as if I am a seal that escaped from the zoo.

"Seto," the girl asks softly, "Who is that?"

I will myself to die.

Kaiba-kun smiles, the gesture obviously causing him a great deal of pain, "Hello, Emi-chan." He bows slightly to the man sitting at the table. "Yoshizawa-san."

Yoshizawa-san, who I suppose is the man Kaiba-kun is dealing with, is dressed in clothes that manage to look extremely expensive yet extremely casual, all at the exact same time! He is tall and looks more like a friendly grandpa than a terrorizing fiend who will break the deal with Kaiba-kun as soon as he hears about his daughter breaking a nail. He has a smile that reminds me of otousan, welcoming and calming.

Yoshizawa Emi, on the other hand, is wearing a dress that is obviously expensive. It is a nice shade of blue, strapless and clingy, the top covered in sparkles. Her light brown hair is put up in a ponytail, bangs framing a pretty face. I feel more like a clumsy drunk than before…

Kaiba-kun, obviously giving up on me stringing together some intelligent words, decides to take matters in his own hands.

"This is Bakura Ryou," he introduces, and I am now composed enough to bow slightly, feeling like a china doll on display. A ragged, pathetic china doll.

"Business partner?" Yoshizawa-san questions, gesturing to the lapdogs… I mean, waiters, to seat us. As I am led to my seat, which is across from him (only two sides of the table are used, and so Kaiba-kun is seated next to me sitting across from Emi-san), I decide to study the china. It is very fascinating… very… um… white. Clean?

Emi-san is staring at me as if I am a nightmare coming to haunt her. I suppose I can't blame her, after all, the only reason why I'm here is to scare her off. Except she doesn't know that.

"Not exactly," Kaiba-kun's smile is very strained and fake. Very different from that smile he gave me when I snapped at him, and I can't help but think about how much more handsome he is when he smiles and actually means it. I wonder why he is still so stiff, Yoshizawa-san, at least, seems to be having the time of his life. But I don't suppose that the personality Kaiba-kun shows us is any different from the one he truly has, which is sad because it makes me wonder if he knows how to enjoy simple pleasures of life that don't involve dueling cards (his Blue-Eyes and God of Obelisk, to be specific), defeating Yami-kun, taunting Jyounouchi-kun, or coddling Mokuba.

"He is my koibito."

Emi-san's mouth drops, Yoshizawa-san stiffens, and I feel like burrowing a hole underground and living there as a hermit. Maybe the restaurant will be kind enough to drop food scraps for me to survive. Noticing that they are now staring at me, I look up through my messy hair. I didn't have time to brush it, heck, I was prepared to study all night before falling into a sleep that would make me resemble an ancient corpse. I can just see the question in their eyes… why? Why would Kaiba-kun pick somebody like me?

Little do they know that I am actually asking the same question myself, and am in no way closer to getting an answer than they.

"Kon… Konban wa… Bakura-kun," Yoshizawa-san somehow manages to dispel his shock and smile at me. I keep my mouth shut, knowing that if I open it I'll either throw up or say something that will make me wish I was dead. Emi-san still hasn't said anything; she keeps staring at me as if I have broken her heart.

I guess I have.

I never really thought about the possibility that she might really like Kaiba-kun, not just trying to take advantage of him. The chance of that is slim, I suppose, but it is still there.

I nearly have a heart attack when Kaiba-kun suddenly takes my hand. I stare at him in absolute shock, my hands look so pale and delicate in comparison to his. His hand clasps around mine, and I can feel my cheeks burning.

"So… Seto… um… how long has this been going on?" Emi-san asks, now composed and staring down at me as everybody here has.

"A while," Kaiba-kun replies calmly, "Isn't that correct, Ryou?"

It takes me a moment to realize that he's talking to me. Forgive me for being shocked, but this is the first time he has called me Ryou. I realize dumbly that he really does plan on following through with this.

"Ha… ha… hai… Kaiba-kun," I say with the eloquence of a rock flying through a window. I quickly catch my mistake (who would call their koi by his or her last name and with a –kun?), and correct the destructive rock to a stereo playing very loud heavy metal music.

Emi-san's eyebrow raises, and Kaiba-kun glares at me. I wince and immediately go back to studying the silverware which is very… silver.

"I just never would have expected you to be gay, Kaiba," Yoshizawa-san states bluntly. I look at him, but there is no malice in his expression, just that same gentleness that otousan has.

Speaking of otousan, I wonder what his reaction would be. Unless Jyounouchi-kun told him too.

"It took me a while too," Kaiba-kun replies, but I cannot tell if he is joking or not. It is always hard to tell with him, and he just confuses me even more when he squeezes my hand. I really do feel sick.

Unfortunately, it's too late for me when the personal paid servant sticks the appetizer in front of me. This is the time where I point out that the slave is better dressed than I. Like, maybe a hundred times better. I feel like I should take the plate, gesture for him to sit, and then serve in his place. But even then I don't think I look good enough.

Kaiba-kun and Yoshizawa-san have struck up a conversation on the merger… deal… something… whatever it is, I don't understand it. I'm trying to major in environmental silence, not figure out electronics. The only thing I know about electronics is how to stick some batteries into a remote control and then use it. Wonder of all wonders, I can even turn on a computer! Meanwhile, Emi-san is picking at her food listlessly, often shooting me glances that is similar to how you glare at an annoying fly buzzing around your head.

I can't really blame her.

"… Seto…" the word sticks to my throat like the frog in the sandpaper… I've never called him that, and I never planned on doing that either.

He looks at me in a way I've never see him look at anybody. Kind of a mix of annoyance and… amusement?

"I can't eat if you're holding my hand," I say as softly as I can. Not softly enough, apparently, since Yoshizawa-san laughs loudly. Kaiba-kun stares at me for a moment, smiles gratefully, and lets go. My hand feels numb; he was gripping it so tightly. I smile thankfully and stare blankly at the appetizer, which I don't remember ordering… did I order anything? Anyhow, it looks a little bit like something you scraped off the bottom of somebody's shoe. For a place that is so expensive and for such rich people, it seems kinda… gross.

"So, Bakura-kun, how long have you known Kaiba?" Yoshizawa-san asks.

"Um… high school?" I venture. Honestly, Kaiba-kun should have drilled me before throwing me into this mess.

"Exactly how long have you been going out with Seto?" Emi-san throws in, looking at me with her brown eyes. The hurt is apparent in them. I ponder that question… what will be a good answer? Approximately… um… five hours? Well, that's certainly the truthful one!

"About a year," Kaiba-kun interjects smoothly. He probably overheard my thoughts or just knows that I am a terrible liar. Whichever one, I'm grateful for his intervention.

"You never told me," Emi-san glares.

"I saw no reason to."

"Now, Emi, Kaiba," Yoshizawa-san glares at both of them. Much to my surprise, they both fall silent, and he turns back to me, "That is a very interesting pendent, Bakura-kun."

"Otousan gave it to me," silently adding that he was also unwittingly handing over a psychotic other with it, but hey, who's complaining? "He's an archaeologist."

"He must be gone often." Err, where exactly is this conversation going?

"Hai… but he always manages to make up for it when he's at home, and he tries to get home as often as possible." Plus, when you have somebody living in your mind, who needs company?

"That's nice." I blink. Did I just miss something?

"Are you interested in joining the business with Kaiba?"

I can sense both Kaiba-kun and Emi-san watching us intently. Why is this happening to me? I was hoping for one of those dinners where they spend the entire time talking, ask how are the kids, and ignore me the entire time. It's uncomfortable being ignored, but I think I can prefer that to this. I mean, if I get so desperate for conversation, I'm sure Yami Bakura has come up with some insults to hurl at me.

"Iya. I don't do well in business."

"What do you study then? Where do you go?"

"Um… I'm studying about the environment at Tokyo University."

"It appears to me that you and Kaiba are quite opposite each other."

I stare.

He shrugs as the waiters, acting as one, whisk away the appetizer course, which I still haven't touched, "I think you'll be good for him."

~ * ~

"He thinks you'll be good for him?!"

Jyounouchi-kun, apparently intent on leading me through life by the hand, is shaking his head in disbelief. I shrug, feeling very out of character and snappish. I just want to sleep, forget what has happened during that disastrous dinner… disastrous afternoon too, and wake up to next week.

"Did he say why?"

"No," I more or less snarl, but Jyounouchi-kun ignores that, "He spent the rest of the time talking to Kaiba-kun about business. He asked me a couple more questions about otousan, but that was about it. Emi-san wouldn't talk to me at all, I think she hates me." I feel kind of bad, I don't like it when people hate me.

"Was she nice?"

"She was…" I wrinkle my nose as I try to think of a word for her, "okay…" I finish lamely.

"Okay?" Jyounouchi-kun repeats.

"She was pretty," I admit, "She didn't seem too bad. But she's probably mad at me."

Jyounouchi-kun rolls his eyes, "If she needs to be mad at somebody, I think she should be mad at that ass…"

"Jyounouchi-kun!"

He sighs and shakes his head, "It is true though. There is no reason to be mad at you, I don't think you could make anybody mad even if you tried."

I grinned impishly, "Except my Yami. And I don't need to try with him."

Jyounouchi-kun groans and shakes his head, a smile playing on his lips. "I can't believe I forgot about him. Well, maybe it's not that unreasonable, as I have been trying to erase the memory from my mind of being a wooden figurine. Face it Bakura, it doesn't do that good for the ego being a game piece."

"At least you didn't die." I think about that for a moment. "Twice."

"Okay, okay, I give you that. The sad thing is that if I went around telling people that my friend died twice and is posing as Kaiba's boyfriend, they would probably lock me up and put me on drugs twenty-four seven."

"How could this have happened to me…" I groan, remembering exactly what had caused such embarrassment in the first place. I happily bury my head in the bed, "How did my life end up like this? Am I really this pathetic, Jyounouchi-kun?" I feel like wailing right about now.

"Um… Bakura-kun? Jyounouchi-kun? I think there's something you need to see…" we both turn towards the doorway to see Yuugi-kun, standing there in his star dotted pajamas and looking extremely nervous.

"Doushite [1] Yuugi-kun?"

There's surprised yells and curses coming from the hallway, but Yuugi-kun ignores it and silently walks over to the laptop. Clicking off my e-mail box, which is still there, he types a site quickly and pulls up an article. Honda-kun has run into the small room, quickly slamming the door behind him. I look at him in bewilderment as Jyounouchi-kun watches Yuugi-kun closely. Moments later, Otogi-kun joins us, and finally Anzu.

The last two look at me for a while, then both say at the same time, "You're gay?"

I blink back at them, "What?"

While Otogi-kun and Anzu are my friends, I was never as close to them as I was to Yuugi-kun and Jyounouchi-kun. Jyounouchi-kun would most likely tell Honda-kun, seeing that they are almost like brothers, but I can't see him telling anybody else… except maybe Kaiba-kun in a long rant, I guess. But that is also doubtful. Yuugi-kun is quite good at keeping a secret, and he would not tell Anzu without telling me first. He would probably wait for me to do it myself. So I blink at them, hoping that it is merely a random question rather than anything actual. Hope…

Who am I kidding?

"That slime!" Jyounouchi-kun suddenly curses, along with some other profanities. I nearly fall off the bed to get a good view of the computer screen, and my eyes widen as soon as I see the title.

"You've made the news, Bakura-kun," Yuugi-kun tells me brightly.

The title of the article is called "Seto Kaiba's Love Life", including a picture taken at the entrance of the restaurant. For just the fiftieth time today, I try to kill myself. Somehow, I look even worse in the picture, in my well-worn clothes looking completely out of place in the glitzy restaurant. It must have been taken when we were leaving because Kaiba-kun is holding me close with a very distraught Emi-san behind him. I remember how jumpy I had felt with his arm around me… I mean, it had felt kind of nice, but also very wrong.

The article is long and involved. I read it and see some quotes from people I don't recognize, but they were probably the waiters. Oh Kami-sama, why me?! Didn't Kaiba-kun leave a big enough tip?!

"Today, one of Japan's most eligible bachelors, Seto Kaiba, owner of the multimillion company KaibaCorp, formally announced that he is no longer available. In fact, his female fans should just give up. The handsome 19-year old has proclaimed the most startling news. Not only has he found somebody, but that somebody is not even female," Otogi-kun reads over Yuugi-kun's shoulder. I bury my head into my pillow again; exactly why is he reading this aloud? Is he trying to get revenge for my Yami helping Yuugi-kun beat him at DDD?

"Bakura Ryou, a freshmen at Tokyo University, has found himself in the arms of Kaiba, and a very lucky young man he is indeed. Kaiba is worth well into the millions, if not almost a billion dollars from his business in varieties of advanced technology. This aspiring student has apparently exceeded his most fantastic possibilities ever, much to the dismay of many young females in the country," Anzu continued for Otogi-kun, both of them staring at the article.

"Please no more…" I mumble into the pillow. Of course, they ignore me.

"The two met at Domino High School, although according to sources, they have been going out for a year," Yuugi-kun stops reading, probably to look at me. I shake my head and mutter, "Kaiba-kun."

"Um, don't look out the window you guys… but…" Honda-kun suddenly says, which of course causes them all to look out the window.

"Bakura! Can we get a statement from you?"

"How did you two meet? Where did you go out for your first date?"

"How long did it take you to figure out you loved him?"

"What attracts you to Seto Kaiba?"

"Comment? Do you have a comment for the paper?"

"How did they find me?!" I yell, backing away from the window and looking for a place to hide for the rest of my life that doesn't involve moving to Antarctica.

"Bakuraaaaaaaaaaaaa-kun," there is a pounding on the door, "You never told us you were going out with Kaibaaaaaaaaaa. Tell us about it, onegai?"

"Here we are at Tokyo College, where above…"

"This is a lot of fuss over Kaiba getting a boyfriend, isn't it?" Honda-kun asks incredulously, quickly slamming the window shut and drawing the curtains.

"It's not everyday that you find out the most 'eligible bachelor' is gay," Yuugi-kun replies smartly.

"Yeah, when exactly did that happen anyway?" Jyounouchi-kun mumbles.

"Bakura?"

"Just tell me when it is over, Jyounouchi-kun."

"Bakura-kun, you can't hide from this forever," Otogi-kun reminds me simply.

I can bloody well try!!

Instead of venting my anger though, I just bite my lip so hard it starts to bleed. At this rate, the entire country of Japan is going to know about this… this is getting way out of hand! I really have to resist the urge to call Kaiba-kun and scream at him for a while. Did he anticipate this? Did he suspect? Couldn't he have warned me ahead of time? Why wasn't I intelligent to think about that myself?!

"Yeah, you have morning tea with him tomorrow," Anzu is looking at the schedule that Kaiba-kun oh-so-thoughtfully sent me. An engagement gift, no doubt.

Before I can reply, my cell phone starts to ring. I make no move for it, having no doubt that some reporter has managed to get my cell phone number as well. I certainly wouldn't be surprised, those people really are relentless.

After a moment, the ringing stops.

I sigh. Jyounouchi-kun really does need to work on the privacy thing.

"Kaiba, if this is you, I'm going to rip your guts out and feed it to some scared puppy dog that, I have no doubt, you tortured, and I'm not talking about myself so you better…" Jyounouchi-kun starts screaming into the phone, but Anzu quickly and quite wisely takes it from his grasp.

"Moshi moshi?"

"And if you're a reporter, stop stalking him!" Jyounouchi-kun grabs the phone again to screech those kind parting words, and Anzu wrenches it away from him again.

"You want to speak to Bakura-kun?" Anzu asks. After a couple moments of a one-sided conversation, as Anzu is only answering in quick one-word answers, she hands the phone to me. I look at her in confusion, and she fidgets nervously.

"Dare [2]?" I ask nervously.

"Ryou? Is that you?" otousan asks.

I feel my blood turn to ice.

"Ha… ha… hai…"

"We need to talk."

Help.

Translations:

[1] What is it?

[2] Who is it?

PM: Poor Ryou…

Yami: Poor Ryou? You're the one who's doing this to him.

PM: I'm allowed to feel some sympathy for him.

Jyou: Has it ever occurred to you that if you feel sympathy for him, you should stop torturing him?

PM: Um… no? Anyhow, sorry this chapter was short. I thought it was an okay place to stop.

Ryou: I BLOODY WELL DON'T! *in a suspicious English accent*

PM: Eww, you've been watching the dub, haven't you? I'm trying to convince my mom to let me buy the DVD subbed version, but she says later… --;; Doesn't matter that I'll pay for it myself *grumble grumble*

Pikachumaniac