Title: Things I'll Never Say
Part: 1/1
Author: Raven
Email: midnightraven84@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related Lord of the Rings. Or Avril Lavigne who I borrowed the title from. I am only a fan.
Feeedback: I'll love you forever. All feedback is welcome.
Summary: Movie-based fanfic for TTT. Legolas's thoughts about Aragorn before they make there final stand against the evil army.

Guess I'm wishing
My life away
With these things
I'll never say
- Things I'll Never Say, Avril Lavigne

Words fail me now, as they always have in times of need. We are mere moments away from our end, death's icy lips already brushing against ours.

And yet I remain silent. I know I am foolish. Me heart keeps whispering it threw my veins. We shall not survive to see the sun set upon another night.

We are throwing ourselves into a sea of evil that offers us no escape.

But that is not why my heart aches. That fragile door will not hold much longer and the enemy will not falter. It will come crashing down and death will descend upon us. The only choice we have been granted is when our lives will fall.

Courage with the bow I have plenty, but in matters of the heart I have none. We are companions, sharing the same destiny that has bound us together yet I cannot bring myself to speak these truths to you. I dare not even try, for I do not know where to start, nor where to end.

The only time the words ever came clearly into my mouth was after I thought you to be dead. It was only when I was standing on the edge of that dreadful cliff, staring down into the icy blue river that had ripped you away from me, that I knew all the perfect things to say to let you understand.

I recited those words as if a they were a prayer. As if they would bring you back to me.

I don't know how long I stood there, with my silent prayers and curses. Time merged together and nothing mattered but you.

They finally pulled me away from that spot, forcing me to leave you unfound for even my elf eyes could see no sign of you. I begged for more time, demanded that we search for you.

My heart did not allow me to believe you to be dead. But they forced me upon my horse and told me there was no time to mourn for the dead there.

We began our journey to Helm's Deep in silence. No one person made a sound beyond that of the ground beneath there feet. Time faded again into something unimportant and unneeded. Thoughts drifted threw my mind like draggers dripping with my blood.

How could anything to be right again?

How did the world continue to spin with your life upon it?

I closed my eyes, trusting the horse not to lead me astray, and allowed myself to get lost in the few memories I had of you. I could picture your face as if you were truly there before me, hear your voice as if you were speaking and feel you touch as if you were real.

And a small seed of self-hate formed in my stomach, cursing me for never telling you that it was you alone that held my heart.

When we finally arrived in Helm's Deep and the fragile silence we had built around ourselves was shattered. Woman flocked to us, dread on there face, as they searched for there men who had not returned home to them. I held no answers to there questions, they only spoke of names without faces to me.

I longed for the quiet once more and pushed my way threw the crowd. Let there king answer to there pain.

Yet I was not even granted a second to mourn, for a young woman followed me, pulling roughly on my arm as I continued down my path. The pain that she felt, she released onto me threw screams and anger.

I don't recall much of what she said yet I know I hated her.

Hated her for no other reason but the fact that she had at least been able to be with the man that she had so tragically lost.

I finally broke away from her, leaving her to cry over her lover who hadn't returned to her.

I wandered the paths for endless hours. My stomach ached for food and my feet cursed for the suffering I put them threw, but I cared not. I did not dare stop, for the thought of you would return to me again.

I learned long ago that pain pulls your thoughts away. A gift many elfs know, for lose to us is as normal as the setting sun.

A bitter curse of our endless lives.

I finally found my way to King's door, the sun fading away. I wanted to yell, to scream at him for his foolish mortal ways.

And then you were there, standing before of me.

I thought my eyes had failed or I had fallen to the hard ground in the sleep my body had been so desperately crying for.

But it was no dream, you had returned to us.

Returned to me.

And all those perfect words left me then, leaving me nothing to say but "you're late."

I had been given a second chance in that moment and my courage had failed me, as it still does now.

I stare at you now, as your pull yourself upon your horse and our eyes connect for what will be the last time. I ride my horse next to you and open my mouth to say words I have not yet decided upon.

Yet I know I must speak.

"Aragorn..." I begin, but your eyes tell me to stop.

"I know," is all you say, as another thundering crash comes from the door.

And that is how it ends. You will ride out into that sea and we will follow you.

And I have no regrets.

For you know of my love and, for that soft second after the words escaped your lips, I saw that you felt the same.

So this is the end.

Let it come.