Disclaimer: MONKEY PORN! Er...*twitch* That one just doesn't work...*twitch twitch*

A/N: Don't worry, this will make up for the insanely short chapter that you had to have known was coming eventually. Oi!

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Petrified Tears
chapter 89



"She told me and my sister she was going to college in California before she'd even told her father or her uncle. Actually, she'd told my sister. I'd been in the hall, being the momma's boy that I am, 33, then, terrified to grow up, and living at home. I'd let Pan in a few hours before, and was looking to find her, ask if she wanted a ride to her house because I was heading there anyways to talk to Gohan-her father. My sister's door was open for once, and so I'd stepped into the door way with my hand raised to knock just in time to hear Pan say that she was going to college there…and didn't plan on coming home-even to visit-until she had her four year degree in her hand. I invited myself into the conversation before I could think about it. Pissed the hell out of my sister, but Pan hadn't seemed surprised to see me there. She's always had a knack for knowing where I was. Probably from being around me so much when she was little.

"She said she didn't know who she was anymore, and that she needed to find herself. That she wasn't who she wanted to be, and she wanted to at least know who she wanted to be before it was too late to look anymore. I didn't want to see her go anymore than my sister, but I didn't ask her to promise to come home during breaks, and I knew that she'd never ask any of us to visit. I fought her on it, made it clear I wanted her here, wanted my best friend around and not nearly half way around the globe, but that if she thought she needed to go, she had my blessings. But I made her promise me that she'd know herself when she came home, and that I would still know her when she came home.

"And so I watched her, the little tomboy I'd known for 18 years, climb onto a plane and fly out to the states to find herself. After she left, I drew in on myself. There was no one to rescue me from my job or from myself, the curses of always exaggerating situations or putting too much pressure on myself that I inherited from my parents. My other friends, an ex-girlfriend who I'd gotten back together with, and Goten (Pan's uncle and my only childhood friend that had yet to seriously betray me) tried to bring me back around, but they were hurting from her leaving just as much as I was. It ended with me and Goten at war a few months after she'd left, and we're still not speaking. Marron-my girlfriend-and I called it off; it wasn't working. I was too preoccupied.

"My sister had teased me about being in love with Panny. I let her think what she would; ever since she discovered 'boys' at age six she's been determined to see me propose to Pan. Even more determined than my mother, which is saying a lot. In truth, I just wanted Pan to come home. I'd talk to her once a week-drop everything to be at home when she called so that I could talk to her for at least five minutes before my sister claimed all conversation for herself. I actually think that I used it subconsciously as yet another excuse not to move out from under my parents' roof. I missed her more than anything. Not because she wasn't around to remind me that there's a world outside of my office or because she's always got some scheme to do something, but just because she wasn't there. I'd grown so used to having her around that I'll admit I took her for granted. Eventually, my mother and her mother, Videl, joined my sister in teasing me. Never when Gohan was around, we all know he'd slaughter me in an instant-and not just because she's shy of half my age. Like with my sister, I told them they were deluding themselves.

"And then she came home."

Trunks stopped abruptly, blinking, looking down at Pan, feeling her arms slide completely around him, feeling her hands tighten in his shirt, her face pressing into him. Her eyelids fluttered, as if in a dream, sleep forming in the corner of her eyes like tears. Petrified tears cried over impossible dreams, impossible wishes. Dreams and wishes that you know can never come true. You can't cry them because you're not awake, and you don't know that you're crying. But they have to come out. So they become petrified, fossilized, and gather in your eyes, where they blind you from the hopelessness of reality so that you won't stop dreaming those dreams, or wishing those wishes. He lifted a hand, wiping the corner of one of her eyes, her skin soft under his callused fingers.

"And?"

He blinked, lifting his head as if he had completely forgotten where he was and who he was talking to. For a moment, he was convinced he had. He felt his cheeks grow pink as he saw the wide-eyed and innocent eagerness in the boy's gaze. Trunks lowered his eyes back to Pan, sighed again.

"You'll never know how I felt. She'd been awkward and 18 when she'd left. A complete tomboy, always ready to beat the crap out of anyone who opposed her, and more than able to do it. She'd once gone so far as to destroy the sawed off jeans she'd worn practically religiously as soon as capris came into style. When she'd left, she'd been wearing an old pair of Goten's jeans that she'd hemmed up, a tee shirt, and all the spikes and accessories that went with the punk movement. She was wearing the bandana she'd been wearing since she was five. But when she got off the plane…"

He shook his head, his eyes still in shock over it all, even holding her like he was, even having seen her willing wear a dress and having really seen her.

"She got off wearing jeans tighter than my sister would dare to wear, a tank top that made it quite clear she'd grown breasts while she was gone, and the bandana wasn't there. It was more than obvious that she wasn't Panny anymore…at least not the Panny she'd been when she'd left. I had to get back to work, but I told her that I was going to kidnap her for dinner the next night. Her grandmother had planned a feast in honor of her returning, but I had a dinner party to attend that I'd been trying to weasel my way out of for days, and that wasn't going to happen. She laughed and gave me a hug, told me that if I wasn't there to pick her up by 6, she'd come find me. And I wouldn't have put it past her. I was there at 5, to shoot the shit with Gohan, see if Goten and I could talk about anything.

"Close to 6, she comes down stairs in a skirt. That about ended it right there. I couldn't find the Pan I had known in her anywhere. The Pan that had left had been a kid. A real pretty girl who could be beautiful if she cared to be, but who had nearly worn slacks to her senior prom, which she hadn't even gone to because she hadn't even wanted to go to begin with, and her date was arrested for attempted date rape two weeks before. But then she tied that old orange bandana around her head and I knew her again. I could see the brat I'd babysat and the girl who had been my saving grace for over a decade."

Pan shifted in his arms and he sighed, lifting his hand from lap and rubbing his temples.

"I'll admit. I'm a womanizer. I can't help it-I've had women throwing themselves at my feet since I was 18. Believe me, I've tried to stop myself, but all the girls I've ever gone out with were more concerned with getting into my bed, my pants, or my wallet than in actually getting to know me. We spent dinner catching up on what'd we'd missed with each other. I didn't know anything about her life while she was there-all I had ever had time to do was say hello and ask how she was doing, sometimes toss in a happy birthday or merry Christmas if that were the occasion, before my sister stole the phone. We'd gone to the beach afterwards-at her suggestion. And all through dinner, through all the conversation and knowing that it was Pan that was sitting in front me, that I was talking to and racing to the water, I forgot that I used to babysit her. That she'd been my best friend since Goten went off to discover girls after high school. All I could see was the beautiful woman she'd become.

"We got to talking. About things a little more important than midnight movies involving pancakes and Barbies, more important than my father's attempt at sensitivity classes. About why she went over there. In a way, we actually got to talking about how much we missed each other, but we'd never come that far out and just say we did. I was born into too prideful a family, and she spent too much time around my family. And somewhere, along the way, I crossed meanings. And I let myself get the better of me and I kissed her. Spent a good couple hours terrifying myself with what Gohan would do…will do…once he finds out…knows why…in truth, I really don't know why I did."

Jack stared at him, then smiled.

"I knew she was lying through her teeth when she told me it didn't mean anything."

Trunks shook his head.

"No…she wasn't lying. From her view, it doesn't. From mine…I don't know. I don't know if my sister has been right all these years, or if I'm really just lonely and pathetic."

Jack shook his head, his eyes stern and angry.

"She sounded pretty upset when she called-the way she said it made it seem as if it hadn't meant shit to you."

"She was pissed at me because of how I acted afterwards. I treated her like dirt. I'd scared the crap out of myself, and I didn't know why I'd done it. I pushed her away like I had all of the other girls. Went so far as to humiliate and degrade her at her own welcome back party. Called her a kid after I'd treated her like an adult, and made it quite obvious that I didn't want any part of her. If it weren't for my mother throwing her into the office this last week, I'd probably still be acting like an ass."

He fell silent. He didn't look at anyone-not at Jack, not at Mr. Summers, not at Pan. Just turned his head and looked back out the window at the scenery as they drove past. The white dome of her grandmother's home glinted in the moonlight, growing nearer as the limo slowed.

A man stood on the slope of the white dome, a tall, dark smudge that Trunks knew well.

Too well.

He knew that stance too.

This was what it came down to.

On the outside, he was cool, calm, and collected.

On the inside, he was praying.

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A/N: Fuck, at this rate, this thing is gonna be over 100 chapters. *shrugs* Oh well. But yeah. Dude, I answered another question--a lot of them actually. So now I can finally, outright and without vagueness, say No! Trunks did NOT rape Pan! to all of those of you who kept asking me.

But this is where I'm leaving you for now. Remember that reviews motivate me, but if you're gonna leave one, don't just type "write more" or something. Actually say something (and anyone who reviews to actually say "something" and nothing more, gets bitchslapped with a dead trout) if you're going to review. I'll try and not make you wait 3 more months for another update this time.

-Panabelle ;P
www.angelfire.com/dbz/storytellers