Author's Note: OK, I will be the first to admit it: the last chapter got a little strange and supernatural. This is why I should not be allowed to plunk myself down in front of my computer at 1am to write a story. So, many apologies for the shoddy last chapter, and let's see if I can fix it up in this one. The characters do not belong to me and I am not making any money off them which is a shame because I could really use a new pair of shoes.
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The rest of the team had watched Nick with interest as he looked around the crime scene. It was chilling to see him so utterly calm. His face reflected no emotion and there was no inflection in his voice when he spoke. They all wanted to know if he was alright being at the crime scene but they were all too afraid to ask. In fact, they had a hard time talking to him lately. They weren't willing to admit it to themselves, but Nick's problems overwhelmed them. The depths of his troubles were frightening and they all avoided talking about it in too much detail. It wasn't that they didn't want to help Nick; it was just that they didn't know how. There was no easy way to help Nick through his issues, so they simply chose to work around them. They each thought that the others would give Nick the support he so desperately needed. But because they all thought someone else would do something, they all ended up doing nothing. They were afraid to talk to Nick about the incident because they were afraid to explore the depth of his problems. They all knew that they were ill-equipped to try and help him work through his issues. None of them had ever been through anything like that, and personally, none of them wanted to. Even hearing him retell his account of what had happened brought them too close to a place that none of them wanted to be. They didn't want to get involved in the emotional issues but they still wanted to help. Instead of trying to flush out the source of the problems, they tried to make life as easy on Nick as possible. When they talked to him, it was always about a case or some trivial events that were occurring in their own lives. They never brought up the attack, and if he brought it up it was just in passing and they were quick to change the subject. Simply put, they were avoiding the issue. They failed to realize this of course. They rationalized their lack of support by thinking that if Nick really wanted their help he would have come to them. They couldn't see that he was trying to talk to them about it. They managed to monopolize the conversation in order to steer it away from the tough stuff. They could have pushed harder to try and find out where the true problems lie, but they just figured that he would come to them when he was ready. He wouldn't talk about it though, so they wouldn't make him. They reasoned that if he was ready to confide in them that they would be ready to listen. What they didn't see was that Nick thought they were trivializing the issue. He couldn't understand why his team wasn't reaching out to him anymore. He thought that they could see something he couldn't. They didn't seem as concerned as he thought they would be, so he began to believe that he was overreacting. Maybe he was just dwelling on the past when he should be trying to move forward into the future. After all, he reasoned, if the team thought that there was a problem, they would talk to him. They would never just ignore his problems like that. He was deeply confused because he was still reeling from the affects of the attack, not only the physical but the emotional as well, and he was starting to think that the problem was him. He was weak and unable to deal with the aftermath of a case gone bad. He didn't confide to his team because he didn't want them to see this weakness and to think less of him. The lack of communication between the team and Nick had led to a classic misunderstanding. Because they never spoke about what troubled them, each party saw in the other something that wasn't really there. The team saw Nick as someone who would rather deal with the problem by keeping it to himself and Nick saw the team as a group of people who thought that if he spoke about his fears, they would think less of them. All it would have taken was for someone, anyone to speak up. But no one did. Everyone kept quiet and as a result, everyone was hurting. Everyone on the team, Nick included, was trying to suppress emotions that needed to be felt. You can't sweep emotions under the rug and expect them to go away. Pushing the emotions aside is a temporary solution of course, but until you resolve the source of the emotions, they are never truly gone. They are just hiding away somewhere. And eventually, you are going to have to deal with them, whether you like it or not.
Pushing these troubling thoughts from their minds (which was something they were getting increasingly good at), the team walked over to more closely examine the crime scene. The thunder began to rumble in the distance. The storm was coming back. They needed to get to work. There were two bodies, both male, both approximately in their early to mid-thirties. They were laying about 5 feet away from one another. Both of their throats had been cut. The arterial spray had covered a ten foot radius around the victims. They had both been placed on their backs, arms outstretched with the palms up. The familiarity of the scene caused Sara to shudder. This was eerily reminiscent of the scene that had awaited them some three months earlier. It was the same crude crucifixion scene that Rachel Hubert had left out here in the middle of the desert. The only difference was that this time they were dealing with actual bodies, instead of just bones. There was a much better chance that they would be able to get some physical evidence off these victims. Sara glanced at Nick. He was staring at the bodies, a blank expression on his face. She touched his elbow lightly.
"You okay?"
He drew his arm away from her and nodded curtly. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
His tone surprised her. It was a harsh, angry voice that was so very unlike him. "I just thought……"
His eyes bore into hers. She would have shrunk back if she hadn't known him better. The look in those eyes chilled her to the bone. It was like looking into the eyes of a stranger.
"Look, Sara, I know that you are concerned that I am going to fall apart here. But I'm not. I am more than capable of dealing with my emotions at a crime scene. So please stop looking at me like I am going to lose control any second. I hate to disappoint you, but that's never gonna happen. Now how about we get to work and stop worrying about things that have no bearing on the case". His words were biting and they cut through her. He doesn't mean that, she told herself. It's the scene. It's got him shaken up. She gave him a long, piercing look before grabbing her kit and heading over to collect samples of the blood. Nick watched as she walked away.
*Oh God, did I really just say that to her?* His thoughts rolled around in his head as he pulled his gloves on. *She's just trying to help and I turned on her like a rabid dog. I am gonna have to apologize later. God, why does this affect me so much?!* He angrily pushed his frustrations aside and went on with his job.
The team was quiet as they worked the scene. They didn't have anything to say to one another. Every time Nick looked up, he would catch one of them watching him, and then quickly turning away so he wouldn't notice them. It was getting on his nerves. He wished they would stop looking at him like that. He thought that they thought he was going to fall apart. * They think I'm weak* he told himself. He was determined to prove them wrong. He examined the bodies carefully, resisting the urge to turn and run. It was affecting him; he couldn't deny that. This was way to similar to the Hubert case and he knew all too well how that had turned out. Still, he needed to learn how to get past it, and this was the best way he could think of. This was his chance to do the case right. He wouldn't allow himself to be put in that position again.
"I've got an ID" Warrick's voice broke the silence. "The victim on the left? His name is Rodney Thorpe. He's got an out of state driver's license – according to it, he's from Encino, California."
"Long way from home" Catherine commented.
"So what did he do while he was here that got him killed?" Sara looked at the bodies with morbid curiosity.
"Who says he did anything? Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes they are just innocent bystanders who happen to find themselves dealing with something no one should ever have to deal with. You ever think of that?!" Nick's sudden outburst startled them all. Clearly, he was more affected by the crime scene than he was letting on. Grissom stepped forward.
"Nick……."
Nick cut him off. "No, look, Sara I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it came out. I was just trying to examine other possibilities, that's all. I didn't mean to jump down your throat like that". He managed a small smile, which she returned. Nick noticed that they were all watching him carefully, so he decided to bring up some findings of his own. Anything to get their minds off of his emotional state.
"I was just thinking…….I mean, these guys died from having their throats cut, right? Well look at the blood. These guys are just soaked in it, and there is a ton of it running down onto the road. It is way too much for two bodies of this size. How can the blood run down like that and make a river? It would take every last drop from both their bodies to even get close to doing that, and we know that is humanly impossible. So I'm thinking, maybe not all of the blood is theirs".
Grissom looked at the scene before him. Nick made a good point. In order for the blood to flow from here down to the highway, it would have to be literally pouring out of the victims. But some of the blood had spattered upon the throat being cut, and a lot of the blood had dripped onto their clothes. So how then could they explain the river of blood that was leading down to the highway?
"Nick, help Sara finish collecting samples of the blood. Then I want the two of you to ride back to the lab with Brass while the rest of us finish up here." Nick nodded. He was torn between wanting to go back to the lab and solving the mystery of the blood, and between staying here and working on the scene. This scene was personal to him. The note, the body placement, it had the marks of Rachel Hubert all over it. Nick didn't yet know how she had managed it, but somehow she was determined to make her message heard. He was equally determined to cease her spread of evil. This was his case. He had had a premonition about it, and now that he was here, he wanted to see it through. This was his chance to extract a little retribution upon the woman who had wreaked havoc on his once simple life.
But first he had to go back to the lab.
* * *
The ride back to the lab was uneventful. Brass kept the conversation light, talking about sports, the weather and anything else that had nothing to do with the case. Sara and Nick didn't say it, but they were grateful for the distraction. They needed to get their minds away from the case, even if it was just for a few minutes. They thanked Brass for the ride as they climbed out and headed up to the lab. Nick was quiet. He couldn't explain it but the lab no longer seemed as comfortable as it once had. Lately, every time he stepped through the doors, he wanted to turn and walk right back out. Now, dealing with this new case, he wanted more than anything to just go home and hide out in bed. Wait, scratch that, he thought as he remembered the previous night's dream. He wanted to go home and do anything but sleep. Sleep was when the dreams came. After the creepy dream from last night, he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to go to sleep again.
But going home wasn't an option at the moment. Right now he needed to get Greg to run tests on the blood from the scene. He told Sara he would meet her in the break room and headed into the lab with the samples. Right away he noticed the look of stress on Greg's face. Uh oh, he thought. It must be a bad day in the lab. Usually Greg was the most upbeat person around.
"Hey Greg. How's it………" he was cut off almost immediately.
"Drop the samples on the counter Nick. I don't want to talk about it".
"I know how that feels" Nick's reply wasn't intended to be out loud, but the subconscious has a funny way of making people say things that they don't really want to. At these words, Greg turned and looked at his friend. Nick was pale and there were tired lines around his eyes. Greg immediately forgot about his own problems and looked at his friend.
"Are you OK Nick?"
Nick smiled at the all-too familiar question. "You know, if I started charging people a dollar every time they asked me that, I could retire in a about six months."
"Alright, it was a dumb question." Greg grinned at his friend's response. "You just look kinda- ok, REALLY- stressed out, that's all. I take it this is a tough case?"
"More than you know." Nick hesitated. He didn't really feel like divulging all the gory details right then, but Greg was the only person on the team who had shown any interest in how Nick was really doing lately. He told Nick regularly that he would listen whenever Nick was ready to talk. He never pushed for information, and he was always willing to drop what he was doing and help out a friend. Nick figured that it was reveal information willingly to Greg, or go into the break room and be grilled by Sara about how he felt. He liked Sara, and would confide in her, but sometimes she had all the tact of a raging bull. She was persistent and would plough through problems without looking back. He made an easy decision and turned to Greg.
"The crime scene is in the exact same place that we found the bodies of Cory and Dale Hubert, so needless to say, I didn't really dig that. Two men had their throats slashed. That's what the samples are: blood from the scene; we think there may be more than the blood of the victims. Both men were in their thirties and…."
Greg interrupted. "Nick, come on man, don't beat around the bush. That's not what has you upset. There has to be more to this scene, otherwise you wouldn't be telling me."
He smiled weakly at Greg. "Am I that transparent? Ok, there are a couple of things that really got to me. The first is the dream I had last night." He quickly recounted the dream so that Greg would understand the magnitude of the discovery. "The scene was so similar to what I saw in my dream that it spooked me. I mean, everything was there, right down to the coyote paw prints."
Greg whistled softly. "Wow that is pretty heavy. I didn't know that you had those kinds of visions."
"I don't! I mean, I didn't before. It is just too weird. I don't understand how I could have foreseen what we found. If this keeps up, I am going to start my own infomercial".
Greg laughed. "It's not so strange Nick. It's happened to me before, and I bet it's happened to other people too. The context of the dream may be different, but it is essentially the same thing: sort of a vision into the future. Like, the night before my Grandma died, I had a dream about sitting with her at the hospital. The numbers 431 kept rolling around in my head. The next day I was with her when she died – at 4:31pm".
Nick stared at him. "Really? So you don't think it's weird?"
"Not at all. I wouldn't even worry yourself with it. But you said that a couple of things bothered you today. That's one of them. What's the other?"
This was the hard part. Nick sighed inwardly. It was going to come out sooner or later, and Greg may as well hear it from him.
"The bodies were laid out in the same sort of crucifixion as the Hubert boys were. And there was a note. The person called themselves the 'New Messiah'. There was more to the note, but Grissom has it right now".
Greg was horrified. "Nick…oh my God. How do you feel about that? Do you think that Rachel has something to do with it?"
"I don't see how she can't. Grissom phoned the institution today and was told that she has had no outside contact, but who knows for sure? There can't be any other explanation. There are just too many similarities."
Greg searched his friend's face. Nick was avoiding the important question. "How do you feel about it?" he repeated.
Nick looked at his hands for a long time. How did he feel about it? He had only allowed himself to think about it as a CSI. He had only thought about getting his revenge on Rachel by proving her guilt in this case. But until Greg asked, he hadn't even thought about how this affected him as a victim. He felt….well, he was –
"Scared" It was a whisper but it carried with it so much emotion that Greg didn't even know what to say or do. "I am really scared Greg. She told me that she was going to rid the world of the dreamers – myself included – and maybe she's not a done as we thought she was. I have been living in fear for the last three months and now I have an even bigger reason to. I used to have so much hope that the good guys would win, but she wiped that out. I feel like everything that I ever believed in is crumbling down around me…I feel like I am losing my mind!" Nick bit his lip to keep from crying. This was so stupid. He wasn't supposed to get emotional like this. But lately, his emotions were out of control and they came and went when they pleased.
Greg grabbed Nick's shoulders and turned Nick towards him. "Listen to me: it is normal to be scared. I would be worried if you weren't. But you have to know that Grissom, and Catherine and everyone, is going to make sure that she, and whoever is doing this, is not allowed anywhere near you. I wish I could tell you that you are safe, but you know that I can't make that promise. What I can promise is that the team will do everything in their power to protect you and help you. As far as losing your mind – we all feel that way sometimes. And there is nothing that anyone can say or do that will make it any easier. You just have to trust me that it will get better. I am always there for you, you know that right? If you ever need anything, you call me. You are stronger than it Nick. You will be fine, I know it". Greg didn't know if he was getting through to his friend. Nick finally gave him a smile. It was a hollow, empty smile, but it was a start.
The rest of the team arrived then. Nick and Greg exchanged looks. Greg looked guiltily at the machines and realized he hadn't even started running the tests yet. He had been so wrapped up in helping Nick that it had completely slipped his mind. Grissom hadn't been in the office for thirty seconds before nailing him for it.
"What do you mean, you haven't run those test yet?!" Grissom's voice was amplified by the small lab.
Nick tried to intervene. "Gris, it was my fault. We were talking and……"
His idea worked. Grissom turned his wrath on Nick. "I expected more from you then this! First you flip out at the crime scene, now you waste time –time that we don't have - by talking to Greg. I don't understand you lately Nicky. Don't you realize how much we need to solve this case?!"
"You're right. You don't understand me. You don't even try to. And I think I know better than anybody here how much this case needs to be solved. My sense of being depends on us solving it. But that's not what's important to you, is it? You just don't want to look bad because we have a repeat crime on our hands. So you do what you have to in order to make yourself look like the hero Gil. I'm outta here!" Nick stormed out of the lab, out of the building and didn't look back. He just needed to get far, far away from everyone right then. After he left, Grissom looked stunned. He glanced around at his team mates. Catherine rubbed his shoulder.
"Don't take it personally. He's just been overworked lately."
"Sure Catherine. Keep telling yourself that" Greg's eyes were flashing dangerously. At that moment he couldn't believe that he was on the team with these people. Were they really that unwilling to look at the root cause of Nick's attitude? Would they just write off his outburst to working too much?
"Look, just leave. Nick's right: you guys don't even try to understand him lately. And right now, it makes me sick to be around you. Let me run my tests – because that is of paramount importance apparently – and then leave me alone. I am going to find Nick and talk to him, because that is what he needs. You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I would have expected this kind of insensitive attitude from Ecklie – but never from any of you". With that, Greg turned his back on his team.
Much like the team had turned its back on Nick.
* * *
Parts Unknown
The evil had been waiting for this moment. The good had broken off from the rest. It was isolated. It was vulnerable. Now was the time for the evil to leap into action.
The worlds of good and evil were about to collide.