Author's Note: I am *so* sorry for not updating last weekend! I ended up having to go home to take care of some car trouble, so I never got the chance to write. And, of course, this week was crazy, and I was celebrating a fiend's birthday yesterday, so.... Well, I hope you accept my apology and enjoy this part.
I may not be able to update next weekend either. I have to go home again, for reasons that are both fun and serious. So if you don't see anything from me next weekend, don't bee *too* surprised.
**********
Between the twins' insanity, Ron's teasing, and the general chaos of the Weasley household, it was two days before Harry realized that he hadn't felt like crying once the whole time. The thought caught up with him while he was helping dry the supper dishes, and the surprise of it made him accidentally drop a plate on the floor.
Ron jumped at the sound of shattering porcelain. "Harry? Something wrong?"
Harry shook his head, laughter shining in his eyes. "Ron...I think...I might actually be *happy*!"
Ron wasn't sure whether to rejoice in this, or whether he should pay heed to the little voice inside him that was saddened at Harry's incredulous tone. Shoving the voice away, he chose to focus on the former. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that," he said, softly but sincerely.
Harry turned to look out the window over the kitchen sink. "Happy," he repeated, voice still tinged with disbelief. "Do you know how long it's been since I could honestly say that?" He continued before Ron could guess. "Two years."
Ron blinked, shock apparent on his features. "*Years*? That long? Harry, why didn't you *say* anything?"
Harry shrugged. "It never seemed important."
Ron opened his mouth, closed it almost immediately, and sighed instead. Finally, when he felt that he had some control over his words, he said, "I'm not even going to comment on that, since I know that all it will get me is nowhere fast. But...what happened?"
"Cedric," was Harry's answer. "Before then it didn't seem...real, you know? Remember, I wasn't raised with stories about Voldemort's evil, like you were. Even after all the stuff with the Stone, it just seemed...distant. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, really. I had no context, nothing. All I knew was that I had apparently defeated some evil, and that I only had on hearsay alone. When Cedric was...killed, and Voldemort got his body back, it became...real to me. And I couldn't hide from anything anymore."
Harry regarded his friend. "I was fourteen, and I watched someone die in front of me. From then on, I was different. And I found it impossible to be happy like I had been before. Welcome to reality."
"Harry...." Ron was at a loss for words. How could he have missed something so big for so long? 'What kind of friend am I, anyway?'
"Don't go blaming yourself," Harry said, seemingly reading Ron's mind. "I didn't even really know until recently, when I had a chance to think about things. I hid my feelings so well that I had even managed to hide them from myself."
"But it's getting better, right Harry? I mean, you're able to talk about this now. You've got your friends, Remus, and now Draco in your life."
Harry smiled and jumped up to sit on the counter. "It has gotten better, Ron. I think that we're even better friends than we were before, I feel like I finally have a family, and Draco...." He sighed happily. "Love is so wonderful, Ron. I don't know why I spent so much time hiding from it. I sometimes wonder just why Draco loves me, but I know that I love him...with all my heart."
Ron grinned and was about to reply, but a choked gasp from the other side of the kitchen door cut him off. Curious, he opened the door to see Ginny's tearstained face staring back at him.
Ginny looked straight through Ron, eyes focused on Harry. "You...love him?" she asked, voice practically begging Harry to take his words back. 'Please...let me have misheard...let this all be a bad dream....'
However, it was not meant to be. Harry got off the counter and approached Ginny cautiously. When they were face-to-face, Harry began to speak, knowing he was about to break Ginny's heart, but knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop it.
In as gentle a voice as possible, Harry said, "Yes, Ginny, I am in love with Draco. I can't tell you when it began, but it has happened. He loves me, and I love him."
"No," Ginny whispered, shaking her head in denial. "I...it's supposed to be you and me. Everyone thinks so. I've loved you for so long, Harry...why can't you be with me?"
Harry closed his eyes, his earlier feelings of happiness disappearing, melting like ice in the sun. "Because you're not Draco."
Ginny let out a gasping sob and ran from the room, face buried in her hands. Watching her go, Harry collapsed to his knees, tears coursing down his face unheeded. "I'm sorry...I didn't want to hurt you...."
Ron kneeled next to his friend and enfolded him in a hug, allowing Harry to cry against his shoulder. "She'll be fine, Harry. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, and I'm sure that she knows it, too. It's not your fault that you don't love her, and you tried to be as gentle as possible about letting her down."
Harry leaned into Ron, allowing his friend to support him. "I think...I think I want to go home now, please."
**********
An hour later, Harry stood next to the fireplace, bag in hand. "Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Weasley."
The woman looked miserable as she regarded Harry. "You know that you don't have to leave."
"I know that, but the fact remains that my presence will make poor Ginny miserable, and I have no desire to do that. I can't love her like she wants, but I see her like a sister, and for that reason alone, I don't want to make this any more difficult on her than it already is."
"You're a noble soul, Harry Potter." Ron's mother took Harry's hands in her own. "Don't be a stranger. In a couple weeks this will all have blown over."
Harry smiled, hugged Ron, and left for his home.
Five seconds later, Harry came tumbling out of Remus' fireplace, scaring Draco half to death in the process. He waved away the cloud of ash that had been raised and blinked in shock. "Harry? What are you doing home?"
Harry picked himself off the floor and threw himself into Draco's arms. "I love you, Draco."
"I love you too, Harry." Draco's hands came up to caress Harry's hair. "What brought this on?"
"Nothing...I'm just so glad that I love you...and that you love me...and I wish that people didn't have to hurt!" Harry buried his face in Draco's shirt and just allowed himself to relax in the other teen's presence.
Draco said nothing more, just held onto his love. Something had happened, he was sure, but he was content to wait until Harry was ready to talk about it.
For Harry, he'd wait a lifetime.
**********
I may not be able to update next weekend either. I have to go home again, for reasons that are both fun and serious. So if you don't see anything from me next weekend, don't bee *too* surprised.
**********
Between the twins' insanity, Ron's teasing, and the general chaos of the Weasley household, it was two days before Harry realized that he hadn't felt like crying once the whole time. The thought caught up with him while he was helping dry the supper dishes, and the surprise of it made him accidentally drop a plate on the floor.
Ron jumped at the sound of shattering porcelain. "Harry? Something wrong?"
Harry shook his head, laughter shining in his eyes. "Ron...I think...I might actually be *happy*!"
Ron wasn't sure whether to rejoice in this, or whether he should pay heed to the little voice inside him that was saddened at Harry's incredulous tone. Shoving the voice away, he chose to focus on the former. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that," he said, softly but sincerely.
Harry turned to look out the window over the kitchen sink. "Happy," he repeated, voice still tinged with disbelief. "Do you know how long it's been since I could honestly say that?" He continued before Ron could guess. "Two years."
Ron blinked, shock apparent on his features. "*Years*? That long? Harry, why didn't you *say* anything?"
Harry shrugged. "It never seemed important."
Ron opened his mouth, closed it almost immediately, and sighed instead. Finally, when he felt that he had some control over his words, he said, "I'm not even going to comment on that, since I know that all it will get me is nowhere fast. But...what happened?"
"Cedric," was Harry's answer. "Before then it didn't seem...real, you know? Remember, I wasn't raised with stories about Voldemort's evil, like you were. Even after all the stuff with the Stone, it just seemed...distant. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, really. I had no context, nothing. All I knew was that I had apparently defeated some evil, and that I only had on hearsay alone. When Cedric was...killed, and Voldemort got his body back, it became...real to me. And I couldn't hide from anything anymore."
Harry regarded his friend. "I was fourteen, and I watched someone die in front of me. From then on, I was different. And I found it impossible to be happy like I had been before. Welcome to reality."
"Harry...." Ron was at a loss for words. How could he have missed something so big for so long? 'What kind of friend am I, anyway?'
"Don't go blaming yourself," Harry said, seemingly reading Ron's mind. "I didn't even really know until recently, when I had a chance to think about things. I hid my feelings so well that I had even managed to hide them from myself."
"But it's getting better, right Harry? I mean, you're able to talk about this now. You've got your friends, Remus, and now Draco in your life."
Harry smiled and jumped up to sit on the counter. "It has gotten better, Ron. I think that we're even better friends than we were before, I feel like I finally have a family, and Draco...." He sighed happily. "Love is so wonderful, Ron. I don't know why I spent so much time hiding from it. I sometimes wonder just why Draco loves me, but I know that I love him...with all my heart."
Ron grinned and was about to reply, but a choked gasp from the other side of the kitchen door cut him off. Curious, he opened the door to see Ginny's tearstained face staring back at him.
Ginny looked straight through Ron, eyes focused on Harry. "You...love him?" she asked, voice practically begging Harry to take his words back. 'Please...let me have misheard...let this all be a bad dream....'
However, it was not meant to be. Harry got off the counter and approached Ginny cautiously. When they were face-to-face, Harry began to speak, knowing he was about to break Ginny's heart, but knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop it.
In as gentle a voice as possible, Harry said, "Yes, Ginny, I am in love with Draco. I can't tell you when it began, but it has happened. He loves me, and I love him."
"No," Ginny whispered, shaking her head in denial. "I...it's supposed to be you and me. Everyone thinks so. I've loved you for so long, Harry...why can't you be with me?"
Harry closed his eyes, his earlier feelings of happiness disappearing, melting like ice in the sun. "Because you're not Draco."
Ginny let out a gasping sob and ran from the room, face buried in her hands. Watching her go, Harry collapsed to his knees, tears coursing down his face unheeded. "I'm sorry...I didn't want to hurt you...."
Ron kneeled next to his friend and enfolded him in a hug, allowing Harry to cry against his shoulder. "She'll be fine, Harry. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, and I'm sure that she knows it, too. It's not your fault that you don't love her, and you tried to be as gentle as possible about letting her down."
Harry leaned into Ron, allowing his friend to support him. "I think...I think I want to go home now, please."
**********
An hour later, Harry stood next to the fireplace, bag in hand. "Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Weasley."
The woman looked miserable as she regarded Harry. "You know that you don't have to leave."
"I know that, but the fact remains that my presence will make poor Ginny miserable, and I have no desire to do that. I can't love her like she wants, but I see her like a sister, and for that reason alone, I don't want to make this any more difficult on her than it already is."
"You're a noble soul, Harry Potter." Ron's mother took Harry's hands in her own. "Don't be a stranger. In a couple weeks this will all have blown over."
Harry smiled, hugged Ron, and left for his home.
Five seconds later, Harry came tumbling out of Remus' fireplace, scaring Draco half to death in the process. He waved away the cloud of ash that had been raised and blinked in shock. "Harry? What are you doing home?"
Harry picked himself off the floor and threw himself into Draco's arms. "I love you, Draco."
"I love you too, Harry." Draco's hands came up to caress Harry's hair. "What brought this on?"
"Nothing...I'm just so glad that I love you...and that you love me...and I wish that people didn't have to hurt!" Harry buried his face in Draco's shirt and just allowed himself to relax in the other teen's presence.
Draco said nothing more, just held onto his love. Something had happened, he was sure, but he was content to wait until Harry was ready to talk about it.
For Harry, he'd wait a lifetime.
**********