It is a dark night. There is a blonde girl who is lying naked in some dirt. Then she realizes that this is kind of stupid and she gets up and gets dressed. She decides that she is going to watch Teletubbies. The phone rings. She gets up and answers it. "Hello?" "Hello," the voice replied. "Who's this," she said. "Who's this?" the voice asked. "Oh, my name is Greasy Pecker and I'm currently alone and defenseless in my big house. The alarms are all broken and so are the door's locks." She told him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just called because you ordered some pizza." The man said. "I didn't order any Chinese food!" She gasped. "Uh, ma'am, I said 'pizza'". "Oh, ok, I guess I did." "Do you like scary movies?" The pizza guy asked her. "No! They are all about some blonde girl with big gazoombas who is always sitting alone in her house and watching Teletubbies and talking to a complete stranger on the telephone." "Alright, your pizza's going to be late because I'm still at home." "Okay, thanks." She hung up the phone and went back to the TV. Ten minutes later, the phone rang again. "Hello?" Greasy asked.

"Hello. Would you like some new aluminum siding on your house? I've got a great dea-". Greasy hung up the phone.

"Damn telemarketers." She said. Ten minutes later the phone rang again. Greasy went to answer it.

"Hello?!" "I'm going to kill you." Were the exact words of the voice. "I don't want any aluminum siding!" She yelled. "Don't hang up on me!" The voice stated. "Okay, if you say so." Greasy replied. "Do you have a boyfriend?" The voice asked. "Yes, his name is Jeeves." "His name wouldn't be. Jeeves, would it?" The voice asked. "How do you know his name?" Greasy whined. "Turn on the patio lights." The voice commanded. "No." Greasy said. "Please?" "Ok." Greasy turned on the patio lights. She saw Jeeves sitting in a chair. He was definitely NOT tied up. Greasy opened the door. "I wouldn't do that if I were you!" The voice said. Greasy closed the door. "Ah, what the hell, I can get a new boyfriend." She heard a knife being drawn. "Let's play a game," The voice said. "You know, you sure do talk a lot for a mysterious voice. It would be a whole lot more beneficial for the author at home if we had a name to associate with you." She stated. "Oh, okay. My name is Gilly Groomless. Now, if you answer this question right, Jeeves gets stabbed in the left ear, which will make him cool. If you answer the question left, he gets stabbed in the right ear, and I will give him a pink flower earring." "NOOOOO!" Greasy shouted. "Come on," Gilly said. "Jeeves is counting on you. First question. What is the name of the red Teletubby?" "I can't, I won't." "Come on!" Greasy gulped. "Po." She answered. "No, I didn't know, that's why I was asking you. You're the one that watches the show." "So what's the real first question?" "What side of you am I standing on?" "LEFT!"

"I'm sorry! You answered left! Those are the rules. Poor Jeeves, lucky for you, there's a bonus round. But Jeeves is out!" He stabbed him in the right ear and stuck the pink flower earring in it. Jeeves writhed on the ground in pain and got up. "Do these pants make me look fat?" Jeeves asked. "NOOOOOOOOO!" Greasy yelled. "Now you die!" Gilly said. "What about the bonus round?!" "We're running out of room in this chapter, and I'm afraid you have to die! Whatever you do, don't answer the door." The doorbell rang. Greasy ran over and opened the door. A guy in a red Teletubby suit was there. He had a knife. He thrusted forward and missed because you can't see through those cheap plastic masks. At that minute, cholesterol blocked off the artery to her brain and she died of a stroke.