Honey badgers are the most disrespectful force in nature and that's putting them over orcas. Because at least when an orca shot puts a seal you can argue it's just testing a new hunting strategy. But honey badgers will look for negativity in situations where they have nothing to gain. Why would a honey badger test an oryx 10 times its size, get launched, only to immediately do it again? Cause honey badgers come into the world deciding they don't want peace they want problems.
After those words were stated, everyone in the room did one thing and one thing only.
They all turned their heads and stared directly at Anakin, everyone having a knowing smirk on their face.
Anakin meanwhile had bullets of sweat dripping down his face as he avoided making eye contact with everyone and just stared at the screen. After 10 seconds of pure silence eventually, he broke. "Alright you can stop staring at me!" He yelled causing the room to erupt in laughter.
"What's the matter Skyguy? Afraid of being called out?" Ahsoka teased.
"I think it's the fact that he's being compared to a small animal." Rex smiled getting a nod from Padme.
"And that's only the beginning." Vima grinned. "Looks like the Roast of Anakin Skywalker came early!"
They don't want compromise, they seek conflict. If orcas are homicidal Sea Oreos, then honey badgers are double stuffed with audacity. If I ever make a list of the top 5 animals with black air force energy, honey badgers would be a first valid choice.
But like any kid that acts out in school, to really understand just what makes a honey badger such a one man hate campaign, you gotta look at its family. When you talk about mammalian carnivores you can really simplify it into two classes, Team Cat and Team Dog.
Some of the girls, Padme and Ahsoka, cooed when they saw the images of the cat and dog shown on the screen. "I want one." They said in unison.
Team Cat would be Feliform which translates to cat-like carnivores which would obviously include wild cats, but also cats that aren't really cats like hyenas, mongooses like the meerkat, and a bunch of other animals you've probably never heard of.
"He's right, I've never heard of any of those animals." Obi-Wan joked getting some chuckles.
"But it really is interesting seeing so much diverse life already." Aayla smiled. "When you think about it, a lot of worlds only really have a select few animals because not many have more than two biomes."
On the other side is Caniformia which are the dog-like carnivores. This includes dogs, wild unhinged dogs, dogs on steroids, smaller but more street-smart dogs, and a special group of water dogs that decided they had enough of the nonsense and disrespect of the dirt world and were going to take their chances out in the ocean, results...have been varied.
"I can see what he means." Plo Koon stated. "Nature is a cruel and unusual place."
"Like the barracks of the 501st." Ahsoka joked.
"Hey." Rex stated getting a look from the Togruta before sighing. "You're not wrong." He conceded.
But you also have another family known as the mustilladae squad and they were kind of in a weird spot. They weren't the biggest, definitely weren't the fastest, not the smartest, and for the most part they're solitary meaning they rarely have a numbers advantage, so their only real option was to overcompensate the way anyone that overmatched would, with violence and borderline Crackhead courage.
"That definitely sounds like the General." Rex sighed while chuckling. "No offense." He quickly added.
"You know what, it's accurate." Anakin smiled.
If musilids like honey badgers reign in groups, they probably wouldn't need the personality of a power tool to survive. Because gang violence may be unethical, but in the wild it's a way of life. It's the reason African Wild Dogs are one of the most efficient groups at cancelling life subscriptions, because team play is high key underrated. Ants are probably the best used social insects in the game and it's almost scary how well they work together. Led by a queen who can Almost check in at the same weight class as a mouse and society is built on a hierarchy where everyone has a job. Female ants are workers who can have tasks such as cleaning the eggs and feeding the larvae queen. Queen Ants job is to supply the ant census with new bodies by constantly spawning eggs and some species can spit out over 800 in one day. Male ants have one job and it's to supply the queen with baby batter and then exit the census once they fulfill that purpose. They have no rights, no free will, they're basically walking ejac packets.
Some of the members of the room grimaced upon hearing that, while Obi-Wan was intrigued. "A truly interesting species, if a brutal one."
"Oh yeah ants are something else. They're pretty much everywhere on Earth except for the continent of Antartica." Vima states.
"An ironic name." Mace smiled slightly.
-to make sure your army is the strongest one. But if you're a honey badger, the strongest army is always an army of one. Honey badgers could be the mascots of MiraLAX because they don't ever give them, they just take them. And when I say it runs in a family, you can tell the honey badger took something from all their cousins and made it theirs.
"So Anakin has other relatives?" Obi-Wan smiled.
"Looking forward to meeting them, I am." Yoda chuckled.
"Hey, so am I." Anakin grinned.
We're gonna get to those cousins, don't worry, but first we gotta talk about what makes honey badgers such a middle finger to the natural order. First is the fact that they're not indestructible, but damn it they're pretty close. Honey badger's skin is tough and resilient, able to withstand bee stings, snake bites, and brutal maulings that would certainly be a game over for other animals. You could even come at a honey badger with a machete, and it could still probably euro step any serious injury.
"Hmm, tough for a creature so small." Aayla said with a hand to her chin. "You'd think they would be more fragile."
"Well it is Skywalker's relative we're talking about." Kit smiled. "But you're not wrong. I don't think many animals would have the same level of durability unless they were much larger."
"Judge it by its size, do you?" Yoda smiled.
"Good point, Master." Kit replied.
There's even reports of these steroid skunks taking down African crested porcupines. The same ones that have about 30,000 good reasons why testing them could be really bad for your health. In really rare occasions, porcupines have crippled the top tier line so badly that hunting humans was their only option. In 1965, after a lion nicknamed the man-eater of darajani was finally put out of commission, it was discovered that it had been gored by a blade beaver with one of the quills being lodged in its fractured teeth and another one nearly piercing its brain. Maimed in and out of options the starving lion put at least one Kenya on a t-shirt. That's the kind of carnage porcupines are capable of, yet honey badgers can often survive an encounter with one thanks to their tough skin.
Everyone grimaced upon hearing that, but some felt even more uncomfortable seeing the lion in question. "Hey Vima, how dangerous are lions?" Ahsoka asked.
Vima looked down in thought for a moment as if he was trying to think of a way to explain it.
"Think of the Lion as Earth's very own Nexu. The King of the Jungle." Vima answered causing some eyes in the room to widen, Padme especially as she began to relive the time she had to face a Nexu on Geonosis.
"And a creature like this porcupine is able to cripple top predators to the point where hunting another species was their only option for food." Luminara said in awe.
"And the Honey Badger is capable of dealing with a porcupine with ease." Ahsoka stated. "Welp, it's official. Earth's Nature is weird."
"I believe you mean that Earth's wildlife is brutal." Plo replied. "However, I have a feeling something like this is tame compared to what we will see in the future."
The same reason they can square up with snakes and then live to try again. Honey badgers are menaces that have been known to turn deadly serpents like the puff fatter and even the black mamba into a purse.
"I take it these serpents are also incredibly dangerous?" Obi-Wan asked the AI.
"The Black Mamba's venom is comprised of neurotoxins that cause symptoms to appear just 10 minutes after the bite. By that point, the venom will target your nervous system and heart before you succumb to it." Vima said gravely, causing the eyes of everyone in the room to widen in shock.
"How many predators are on Earth?" Padme asked after a minute of silence.
"Too many to count." Vima said flatly.
"How did the Earthlings even manage to survive, let alone thrive the way they do, then?" She asked in disbelief.
"Through focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will." The AI stated in an odd accent.
"What was that accent?" Anakin asked raising a brow.
"Don't worry about it."
A common misconception though is that honey badgers are immune to snake venom. They're not immune, they're much more resistant than other animals, but enough penetrating bites can flatline even a honey badger. But usually if a honey badger is wounded by a venomous snake, it'll just pass out in an almost coma-like state only to get up a few hours later and walk off like a Sunday morning hangover. Another fact is that not only is the Honey Badger's skin tough, it's incredibly loose especially around the neck. So if one's ever being mauled by a big cat, this walking cigar can turn around while being attacked and deliver smoke directly to the face.
"Is it just me or does this guy keep giving names to the animals?" Aayla asked.
"It's not just you." Plo replied. "Is there a reason for this?"
Vima just shrugged. "The Earthlings got bored and decided to give fun nicknames to the animals."
"What do they call the Lion?" Ahsoka asked curiously.
"Danger Floof." Vima replied with a proud smile, getting a snort from some of the people in the room.
"O-okay, how about snakes?"
"Venom Noodles." This got a few more chuckles.
"P-p-porcupines?" Ahsoka barely got out as she tried her best not to laugh.
"THE FORBIDDEN DODGEBALL!" Vima declared raising his hands in the air, causing the room to erupt in laughter. After a good minute the laughter died down as some of them tried to catch their breath.
"Hey Rex, wanna do something like that the next time we encounter wildlife?" Ahsoka asked the clone, who was taking deep breaths to calm himself.
"Commander, it would be my, heh, honor." The Captain smirked.
Honey badges are furry duracells and anything sort of a round directly to the skull isn't guaranteed to kill them. This durability is why honey badgers are either brave enough or stupid enough to blatantly steal from top predators. And they usually target leopards. Unlike lions and hyenas, leopards are solitary assassins that hide their prizes high up in the branches where they can't get their pockets picked. The food may be safe from lions, but they're not safe from a malicious equality symbol with nothing to lose.
"Hey Master, maybe you should take notes from your cousin for the next battle you go to." Ahsoka smirked. "He seems to know what he's doing."
"And I don't?" Anakin retorted before seeing the looks from everyone in the room. "Come on, I always think things through."
Silence and stares was all he got as most raised their eyebrows.
"Okay maybe not all the time, but a majority."
Man, that silence is pretty deafening.
"Okay, 50/50."
Pretty sure they're looking at his soul right now.
"Okay fine, I make it up as I go along." He conceded as he looked down, getting laughs and knowing smirks.
"I will give you this, Skywalker." Mace stated. "Your plans do usually succeed and with very few casualties." This got a smile from the Chosen One. "But you still should think things through."
Honey badgers will risk it all by attempting to steal from a leopard by climbing the tree once it steps away from its meal. If the honey badger gets caught in the act, it'll throw a loud temper tantrum hissing and screaming as it backs away, a method I'm sure they got from their close cousin the Wolverine.
"Wait, that's how Anakin acts already." Obi-Wan joked getting laughs from everyone in the room.
Before Anakin could even deny it, a hand was on his shoulder. He looked over to see Padme giving him an unimpressed look. "Do I even need to bring up the fact that you said Obi-Wan was holding you back?" She teased in a whisper. Anakin just slouched and looked toward the video.
The wolverine is a honey badger on PED built for the freezing tundra of the north, and even though they're roughly in the same way classed as a medium-sized dog. Tankier predators like bears and mountain lions will occasionally pay food taxes to this walking vibe check. But the thing with wolverines is they have the strength and speed to catch their own bodies. Wolverines will stalk a potential victim for hours, even days, and there have been reports of wolverines posting up in trees just so they can wait for the right moment to pounce.
"Welp, sorry Snips, looks like my family can't teach you anything." Anakin smiled at the Padawan.
"Why's that?" She asked crossing her arms.
"Remember what I said about patience?" All he got in response from her was a pout.
"Oh don't be too hard on her Anakin, she's learning from you after all." Obi-Wan grinned, causing Anakin to cross his arms and pout as well.
But why waste the energy or calories doing that when you can just pickpocket a grizzly or clutch a 2v1 vs wolves? And just like the honey badger, wolverines will attack anything with a pulse, difference is they have the tools to actually stop it. One wolverine put a polar bear in a headline after clamping its vice grip jaws around the struggling bear's throat until it's suffocated. There have even been reports of a wolverine dropping a female moose by ripping at its shoulder blades until it eventually tapped out.
"Oh." Padme managed to get out as she heard that.
"Vicious little creatures, aren't they?" Plo said looking closely.
In comparison, honey badgers have allegedly owned units like the black buffalo and water buck, except the honey badgers methods are different. Wolverines are little man syndrome but with bear trap jaws. Even though they might not have superhuman healing powers, they do have rotated teeth. Wolverines are equipped with upper molars rotated 90 degrees inward meaning they can easily eat a grizzly bear's leftovers even if it's half frozen. That dental plan is why a wolverine will eat every part of an animal right down to the bones. Honey badgers don't have nearly that kind of power, but these prison striped weasels do pack a nasty bite, and they've been seen tearing into tortoises. Wolverines have one more secret and it's that they smell really, really, foul. Not only will they use the power of liquid booty as a threat, they'll spray the scent over any food they find and make sure no one else touches it.
"Skywalker." Mace spoke getting the attention of everyone in the room. "I know you plan to incorporate the tactics of your family into your future plans, but don't do anything like that to the Separatists." The Jedi Master said with a smirk, causing Anakin's jaw to drop as the room erupted into even louder laughter as some began howling.
Anakin sputtered trying to form even a single word as the less mature people in the room were on the ground and on the verge of crying and the more mature just stared at Mace in shock and awe.
"I can't believe it." Kit finally managed to get out.
"Master Windu has a sense of humor after all." Plo Koon finished.
"I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end times." Aayla smirked.
Which is why the wolverine is also nicknamed the skunk bear. Honey badgers also weaponize their south side when threatened, or just annoyed. The honey badger will reverse its anus inside out and release a liquid so vile it can suffocate anything near it. In fact the smell is so offensive, it can temporarily paralyze attacking bees. It's not hard to see how the skunk bear and the felony bear pull up to the same family reunion, but you can rsvp the order to the same function.
"General, for the sanity of myself and the Grand Army of the Republic, please don't do that." Rex finally spoke after recovering from falling to the floor and wiping away his tears.
"Why not?" Vima chimed in. "Let him assert his dominance over the Clankers like any good chaotic creature should. He has the smell for it, pretty sure something died earlier when he came in."
"I think hic I see what hic he means by offensive smell." Ahsoka joked before feeling her face. "Oh that hurts."
After a solid three minutes, the laughter began to quiet down as some like Padme and Ahsoka held their sides. Anakin had to step out of the room during that time to avoid further humiliation. After it died down, he walked back into the chamber and sat down.
"Are you okay Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it." The Chosen One replied.
"Oh cheer up Anakin, it's only some joking around." He said putting a hand on his shoulder. Anakin smiled back a little as the video kept going.
Otters are considered the most intelligent of all muslids, and they are part of the rare group of animals that are able to create and use tools.
"Oh that's pretty interesting." Aayla smiled.
This one. This one's using a vending machine. In fact they're so smart that in the 60s the CIA allegedly tried to weaponize them. I actually made a video on this in the auto report that was created on my tik tock, so definitely go check that out. They're also an anomaly in that they're one of the rare social muscles which should give you mixed feelings cause yes, sea otters will hold hands while sleeping so they don't float away. Despite my lack of emotion, I find that adorable.
"Awww." The women cooed. Padme smiled as she discreetly held Anakin's hand for a brief moment before pulling away. The only ones to notice that were Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan.
But otters, especially river otters, will jump anything that enters their territory from Cayman, to jaguars, to idiots with iPhones. If you want your idea of otters to be completely slaughtered in 10 seconds, google otter and attack and count how many articles you get. A pack of 20 nearly took a man off the Singapore census permanently. A group of rogue otters drowned a woman's beloved dog as she could only watch.
The mood quickly turned sour after they heard that. "What?" Was all that Ahsoka managed to get out.
"I guess these creatures are a lot more vicious than they look." Luminara said in surprise.
Once upon a time, a monkey wandered into the otter hood of the Bronx zoo, and the outnumbered monkey paid the toll for his transgressions with his soul. That's really only scratching the surface. I already have an entire video dedicated to the carnage society lets otters get away with, but one fact should really hammer the point home.
"Oh no." Anakin said wanting Ahsoka to get out of the room as he had a bad feeling about this. But it was too late.
Sea otters have a violent mating ritual that involves biting his partner's nose pads so hard that he can tear it off while occasionally holding her head under water.
"WHAT!?" Ahsoka yelled in shock. "WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?"
That is not the disturbing part, because frustrated male otters that couldn't find a mate will resort to taking their lack of options out on baby seals, something they'll continue to do for up to a week even after the seal's soul has already evacuated, I mean that in the worst possible way. So in a weird twist, out of these three otters might have the lowest morality, but to compensate they have the highest intelligence.
The room went silent as everyone looked towards the young Togruta Padawan. "Young 'Soka, are you okay?"
"I don't know." She said quickly. "They're so cute and look so innocent, but...that's just wrong!"
"That's just nature." Vima said flatly. "In the world of Nature, it is kill or be killed. Few animals survive by being nice to each other. And these otters, aren't even the worst animal on Earth that isn't a human."
"What is?" Ahsoka asked with worry.
"You'll see eventually. But don't worry, this is the last time we see these adorable Sith Lords." The AI said getting a chuckle out of a few people.
Don't think honey badgers are just some crayon eaters, they're incredibly smart too. Like the kind of smart that would make them high-class criminals. In an experiment, a honey badger couldn't reach a box of food that was hanging from a branch of a tree. But what would have been a dead end for most animals, was only a challenge for him. After a few seconds to carefully weigh his options, the honey badger proceeded to push his crate closer to the hanging box to the point where he could stand on it to claim his prize.
"Clever, the little one is." Yoda chuckled.
It might not seem like much but being able to figure this out automatically puts honey badgers in the highest percentile when it comes to animal intelligence.
"He has a point." Obi-Wan said getting everyone's attention. "Most animals aren't clever enough to solve basic puzzles like this. The Skywalker Animal seems to be a good case of intelligence."
"Are we really just calling them the Skywalker Animal?" Anakin groaned.
"Yes." Everyone says in unison.
"Eh, name needs work." Vima shrugs.
But the best example would be this little guy named Stoffel. Stoffel was a well-known escape artist that would find some of the most creative ways to end his bondage. In one of his many escapes, Stoffel noticed a broom that had been left near him, dragged it over to one of the corners of his enclosure, leaned it against the wall and then used it to emancipate himself.
"Wait, he broke out of his enclosure multiple times?" Kit asked surprised.
"Apparently." Plo replied.
They tested his skills with a gate install, for the black air force managed to undo the latches of the lock, they then put him in a cell surrounded by cement walls. Take a wild guess what this little weasel did. Stoffel dug up a bunch of rocks and when he had enough, he piled them in a corner and Andy Dufresne'd himself.
"Huh, go Stoffel." Ahsoka said impressed.
One night, his caretaker awoke to a burglar in his home at 1am. You know where I'm going with this.
"It was Stoffel." Padme giggled.
"He left his enclosure and made his way to the home of his caretaker. I can't even imagine how far it was." Rex said incredulously.
"All in favor of getting a Honey Badger to test prisons of the galaxy?" Anakin joked.
"Why? We have you, oh Master of Getting Caught?" Obi-Wan snarked.
Stoffel escaped again only this time he broke into the farmer's house and even tried to get into his bedroom. And you want to know the most disrespectful part of it all? Stoffel was hand raised by humans at a young age and imprinted on them. Meaning Stoffel had no intention of actually escaping, now he was just doing it for the sport and for all the memes. We know that because Stoffel would allow himself to be caught and returned back to his enclosure, just so he could figure out another way to make his caretakers earn their pay.
"Wait he was doing this for the fun of it?" Luminara asked before laughing a little.
"Apparently." Kit laughed. "At least the keepers were earning their pay."
Breaking into the Farmer's house past midnight was just Grade A trolling. And of course, it would be criminal to not mention that time Stoffel escaped his enclosure and entered the lion's den where he was nearly brutally mauled to death.
The women of the room gasped. "He almost died?" Ahsoka got out.
"He got better." Vima replied.
After he recovered, the first thing Stoffel did fresh out was trying to find a way back to the lions to settle the score. Stoffel would also regularly break into the lodge kitchen where he would harass staff and help himself to any food he could find.
Once again, everyone's heads turned toward Anakin. The Chosen One noticed this. "What?"
"Remind you of anything?" Obi-Wan smiled.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Let me remind you. As soon as your arm was replaced, you immediately set out to try and settle the score against Dooku. We had to sedate you because you left before the calibrations were complete." Ahsoka's eyes widened.
"He did what?!" She exclaimed.
They eventually gave him a lady badger thinking that would help him calm down, but what they really did was introduce the Bonnie to his Clyde, as they would now try to escape together.
"Bonnie and Clyde?" Padme asked curiously.
"Two gangsters way back when who were lovers and committed crimes together until they were killed in an ambush from authorities." Vima explained nonchalantly. Padme, satisfied with the answer, continued to watch the video.
For their size, honey badgers have relatively large brains, and they make it everyone's problem. But there's one more thing about them that really makes them a menace to society, and for that you have to look at its third cousin the Stoat. Stoats are one of the smallest of all musilids yet they regularly put prey 10 times their size out of commission. They do this by relentlessly chasing their prey, which are usually rabbits, until the prey eventually drops to exhaustion. Only then will the stoat deliver a devastating bite to the back of the skull and once the stoat locks in on its target, there isn't a force in nature that can stop it.
"Can't say it's not effective." Rex says.
The stoat is so hyper-fixated, that it'll even ignore rabbits that might be closer just so they can commit to pursuing its original target. That crackhead determination is not foreign to the Honey Badger.
"Ah, another fine addition to the Skywalker line." Obi-Wan jokes.
The only way a honey badger can fend off leopards, hyenas, and even the occasional lion, is by constantly squirming, hissing, and biting until the attacker eventually decides it's not worth the calories.
"Yep, that's Master Skywalker alright." Ahsoka smiles.
"I don't bite my attackers." Anakin countered.
"But you do hiss and squirm." The Padawan teased.
Even if they eventually do go out of commission, you can be sure the honey badger did not go quietly. The badger's stubborn nature is probably best summed up when you see what they do for honey. Honey badgers love breaking into beehives to eat energy rich honeycombs. Unfortunately, that often means getting a face full of African bees, which are more aggressive and more nasty than their European cousins.
"How aggressive are the African bees?" Mace asks curiously.
"More aggressive than Grievous when his pride gets attacked by a Clone." Vima smiles.
"Hey thanks for that, by the way." Rex chuckles. "I actually thought I was gonna die. Then I met that new Shiny named Doss."
"Doss?" Plo Koon asked as the rest of the room looked at him with interest.
"Yeah. He just called himself by his number until he saw that viewing of Desmond Doss and said he was inspired to be like him." The Captain explained. "Even started training himself even more so he can carry heavier objects in case he has to deal with more than one injured Clone. He and Kix turned it into a competition." He chuckles at the end.
"Well then, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for him." Anakin smiled proudly.
But these honey weasels will continue to eat even while being actively swarmed and attacked by bees. Even though they're resistant they're not 100% immune to bee stings. Honey badgers have been known to keep raiding the same beehive for honey until they eventually get stung to death. But honey badgers don't care cuz they live life balls first with no fear of consequences.
"Are we sure this is Skywalker's family and that the Kaminoans didn't clone him?" Mace smirked.
"If they are a clone, then they got every detail right." Plo joked getting some chuckles out of everyone.
"Hey, if they are a clone of me, then the Kaminoans did a good job." Anakin laughed.
This willpower's how two honey badgers step to six young lionesses and still manage to survive. At one point the honey badger found itself in the jaws of death only to use its loose skin to turn around and bite the lion back. This leopard tried harassing a young baby badger, only to end up cosplaying as a Cheetah once mama badger inserted herself into the conversation.
"Cheetah?" Ahsoka asked the AI.
"Fastest land animal on Earth, capable of running 120/K an hour." The AI explained getting an impressed whistle from Kit Fisto.
"An impressive speed." The Jedi Master said. "I can name few animals in the galaxy that even approach that speed."
"Probably faster than some vehicles too." Plo added.
Speaking of cheetahs, honey badgers have such a reputation that it's widely believed that cheetah cubs evolved to mimic their coloring to avoid confrontation with predators. Whole predatory cat and evolution forced him to impersonate an African bush weasel just to get more respect. Hell for cheetahs, but another notch on a honey badger's chastity belt. I say chastity because they don't give a fu-
Everyone was impressed with that tidbit of information. "Wow." Was all Padme could say.
"That's...I don't think I've ever heard of a predator evolving to mimic what would be an animal lower on the food chain." Obi-Wan said with genuine surprise.
"That's...impressive." Aayla chuckles.
"Hey what was he saying before he was cut off?" Ahsoka asked.
"Oh he was gonna say the word 'fuck.'" Vima replied. "Your equivalent of Kriff. Earth swear word and one of the few words that can be applied in any way in any situation."
"I don't believe you." Anakin says crossing his arms.
"Shut the fuck up Bush Weasel." Vima smiled getting a look from Anakin and getting some chuckles from the rest.
With the strength and durability of a wolverine, the intelligence and morale deficit of an otter, the pure coke fueled willpower of the stoat, the honey badger is the only thing alive that can make a bowl cut intimidating.
With that, the video ended, and Vima looked towards the Jedi, Clone, and Senator. "So, what did you think?" He asked.
"Definitely an informative experience." Plo stated. "I would love to see more of Earth's wildlife in the future."
"As do I." Mace said going back to his stoic self.
"Because of this, I will now only see the Honey Badger as a whole species of Master Skywalker." Ahsoka giggled.
"Same here." Obi-Wan grinned. "Anakin, how about you?"
"So, when's the next family reunion?" The Chosen One joked.
"Eh, maybe next year." Vima said looking at a calendar that appeared next to him. "Hmm...yeah maybe next year."
This got a chuckle out of some. "So what's the next video?" Ahsoka asked.
"So we all know how horrible war can be. But what if I told you that there are a couple in Earth's history that are more funny than anything."
"Oh? And what would that be?" Mace asked not believing it.
"I'm going to show you all, the Great Emu Wars."
The chatter would be stopped however, as Rex's comlink went off. He looked down at it before he answered. Before he could speak, the voice of a clone spoke. "Sir, it's Echo. There's a bit of a situation here in the barracks."
"On my way." The Captain replied before ending the call. "Generals, it seems my brothers need me."
"Go on ahead Rex." Anakin smiled. "We'll be here."
Rex nodded and saluted the Jedi before walking away.
The 501st Barracks
To say Captain Rex was feeling a mixture of emotions would have been an understatement. For what he saw confused, angered, and nauseated him, as he was looking at half of his men passed out on the ground, black, white, brown, and grey paint everywhere, a few barely standing clones vomiting into buckets, and Kix and Doss carrying unconscious clones away presumably to the medical wing. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?" He finally managed to yell out. Upon hearing his voice, the clones, the awake ones anyway, all stood at attention.
"SIR!" They all called out.
"Echo, care to explained what happened?" Rex asked with anger in his voice.
Said Clone walked towards the Captain before stopping right in front of him. "Well sir, it's a bit of a long story."
"Well, it's going to be a long day for all of you if you don't tell me what happened."
"Well sir, we were watching the holovid of the Earth animal called the Honey Badger when we were told by Vima that the animal perfectly encapsulates General Skywalker." The Clone explained, getting a nod from Rex.
"I just saw it too."
"Well, before we got started watching it, Hardcase decided we should have a drinking game. Every time the video showed or did something that represented General Skywalker, we took a shot." He explained sheepishly.
Rex sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And what did you drink?"
"Well, Fives wanted to try a beverage from Earth and chose eh...uh...Hey Vima, what was it called again?" Echo asked the AI.
"Jägermeister." The AI replied.
"What's that?"
"A particularly strong drink, for us at least." Echo explained.
"Okay, but where did the paint come from?"
Echo gestured outside and walked with Rex. "Well, the boys enjoyed what they saw about the animal that they decided to do this." Rex looked at him for a moment before stepping out and what he saw, made him drop his helmet. Every. Single. Vehicle in the 501st Legion had been painted. Each one having a certain paint scheme of the very animal shown off today. The Honey Badger had taken over the 501st Legion. Rex looked on before turning around, seeing the smiles of his brothers as he sighed and picked his helmet back up.
"I'm gonna be honest Echo, I was expecting a lot worse." Rex finally spoke.
"Yeah, we did it because we realized that because of who's leading us, we were also pretty much Honey Badgers." Echo chuckled.
"Yeah, we certainly act the part." Rex chuckled as well. "Clean this mess up and make sure to thank Kix and Doss for carrying you all to your beds and the medical wing. I'm gonna get some air."
"Yes sir." Echo grinned saluting before walking away.
Nope. Not even gonna say anything, except that this chapter was late because I have procrastination.
I was thinking about doing a possible Halloween chapter, but it would have been too late by the time I would have posted it. Don't worry though, Imma give you all a treat before I close out this chapter. Next chapter is the Great Emu Wars. Happy Halloween. :D
Unknown Location
General Grievous stomped through a long, narrow hallway. He was furious. More furious than he had been at the Jedi when they fought his people, more furious than when they destroyed his ship, and he was forced to become a cyborg and lie saying that he wanted the upgrades because he didn't want to let the truth out just yet. His pride as a Kaleesh was wounded by a Clone with mere words and he had fallen into a trap set by Kenobi and Skywalker. A battle that he was forced to flee from like a coward. Now he was going to change everything, for better or for worse.
He entered a laboratory where a droid was doing analysis on chemicals and various experiments. The droid turned when he heard the door open and saw the Droid General himself. "Oh! General Grievous, this is quite the surprise. You never come into my lab."
"Be silent." Grievous ordered causing the droid to stop talking. "I have need of you."
"O-oh." The droid said in surprise. "Very well sir, what do you need?"
Grievous reached into his cloak and pulled out a tablet before handing it over to the droid. "I have need of your skills to create a chemical that will aid me in my conquests."
The droid took the tablet and looked it over. "General, this is...an interesting compound you want me to make. This was requested by Count Dooku, I assume?"
"No." Grievous answered. "This is for me and me alone. You are not to share any information about this to anyone. Especially Count Dooku."
"Very well. If I may ask, where did you get the information of this compound?"
"I do not need to explain my methods, NOW BE SILENT AND WORK!"
"U-understood General." The droid responded. "But I will need a name for this project if I am to find it after I deal with others."
"This chemical will be named after the man who originally created it." Grievous responded taking the tablet and typing something on it, before handing it back to the droid. "I assume this is enough for you to find it."
The droid looked at the tablet before nodding. "Yes General. I'll get to work on it right away."
"Good." Grievous said turning away and leaving. "Keep me informed about its progress." The door closed and the droid went over to a nearby computer, opening files and going through them until he found a good enough spot to keep it in.
Project:
The droid looked down at the tablet once more before typing out the name.
Project: SCARECROW