'Straight up now?'
by Poly
Almost all these characters belong to ME, FOX, UPN, and other people.
Thanks to hold_that_thought for being such kind and intelligent support and beta-ing. (warning, she didn't beta this part)
"Dawn, your sister," Giles continued, very close to taking off his glasses and cleaning them.
"I don't have a sister, Giles, that's just sil- Oh damn! Dawn! We've got to go find her!"
"But what about the other items on the list?" Tara asked, "We can't all just go after Dawn and forget about them."
"Huh? Perhaps you forgot, but I'm Buffy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm the only important one. And since Dawn is also made out of me she is also the only important one.wait, what did I just say?" Buffy trailed off, pacing around the Bronze as she gathered her thoughts. "Anyway, we need to all find Dawn and forget about every other plot- I mean, issue in our lives and find Dawn. Dawn is family, and we all have to stick together for-"
"Buffy, look out!" Xander shouted, tossing his tubby self onto his Slayer pal and knocking her out of the way of an incoming anvil.
"You interrupted me."
"I saved your life."
"Did I ever thank you, for saving my life?" the pretty, pixieish predator inquired as she pushed Xander off of her and stood up.
"No. And yes, I wish you would. Now, we have to-" Xander stopped to pull a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe and then jumped for joy, causing Anya some worry.
"What is it, the inside of a Hershey Bar wrapper?"
"No, its my gym membership! I stepped on gum during my dance, and this must have gotten caught, too. Whoopee!" he leapt around, "Whoopee, whoopee, whoo- oww, oww. Groin.oww," Xander grunted as he eased himself into a chair. "I guess you guys have to find the next item while I rest here, with Anya."
"Why do I have to stay?"
"Because you're my fiancée.and I need someone to fetch me snacks. But you still have Spike," noting the empty chair, he corrected himself, "or did. Where did he go?"
"Something about night games and football and he's gonna be an undead Pele or something," Anya elucidated, "I would have caught more, but a waiter walked by with a check in his hand and my mind trailed off into money and cash, and moolah, and dough and bling-blingin and.Oh, yeah, right, quest and stuff. Well, we don't really need Spike. All we need is Buffy, and we have her-"
"No we don't," Giles explained, "she just ran out the back door, with something shiny under her arm. I'd say its hair but she's apparently clean as a whistle." "Ewww" Tara and Anya winced, crossing their legs uncomfortably.
"Oh My Lesbianic Goddess! That bitch took my bedazzler!" Willow's eyes glowed a fiery red as she stormed toward the door, stopping only to grab her inflatable kiddie-pool as storage for later water consumption. "Bitch is gonna pay." Tara looked apologetically at the three remaining members of the group, then ran off to try and stop her girlfriend from hurting the ones she loved, again.
Dawn woke up from her stupor on the sidewalk and, with help from her hair, was able to stand again. "Thanks, Vivian. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be even more useless than you are now, a complete social outcast, and dead, in no particular order," her hair replied, "Now lets get moving, we don't have time to dawdle when my life is on the line."
"But its so dark, I can't see well enough to walk there," Dawn whined. Vivian placated her host body with a swish of herself, causing a shiny gleam to light Dawn's way. "Oh Vivian, you're my best friend."
"I'm your only friend you prissy little bitch, now get to stepping," Vivian harshly replied, until a whimper from Dawn warmed her heart, or whatever it is sentient hair has. "Ok, fine, you can stop and steal lawn ornaments; but it must be something you can fit in your pocket.No, not the flamingo!"
"B.U.F.F.Y." Buffy bedazzled the door of her home, marking her territory in a way Season- I mean, high school sophmore Buffy might have. Something was different, something was making her happier than she usually was, at least happier than she usually showed herself to be. She was able to relax, and not think about Dawn. Or Spike. Or Dawn and Spike together- eww, nevermind. The itty-bitty blonde brawler locked the door, ran up the steps, crept into the bathroom, and locked the door, giving a big sigh of relief afterwards.
"I'm home. Thank god. Now to take a bath in my new chocolate-scented bath oils, right next to my chocolate-scented candles, and use my chocolate- scented shampoo and conditioner, and then, after I get out, I'll use Fudge to fix up my hair," she gleefully thought aloud while pulling off her mocha- colored robe and matching slippers. Just then, there was a knock at the bathroom door, which Buffy thought odd since everyone knows this was Buffy time. However, she shrugged it off and unlocked the door to reveal Spike, drunk off his ass.
"'Ello slayah.I just did da English Soccar Hooligan thing, and now eye'm 'ere to mahk yooo an offah you canna' refuusse." Hands on hips, Buffy surveyed the once proud Spike, who hours ago was her whipping boy and was now, though with balls, still just as pathetic as ever.
"Unless that offer involves me kicking you out right now, I really don't foresee me agreeing to this offer." Spike, however, had other ideas. He grabbed at Buffy's arm, but she countered with an open palm upthrust to his chin. He fell back in pain, shock, and a little bit of nausea.
"'Ow you do dat, slayah? I'm gonna show ooo just how Spike got his nickname," and before Buffy could even utter one pun, Spike produced a railroad spike from his duster.
"How-what-the hell? I thought you gave up railroad spikes a long time ago, along with trying to kill me."
"Well, things chahange." With remarkable skill and accuracy for someone who was seriously snockered, spike thrust the Railroad Spike at her numerous times.
"Spike, this isn't fair! I'm in a friggin robe, in my bathroom! I-" but her words were cut short when spike rammed the blunt part of the Spike into Buffy's ribcage and felled her.
"No, ooo lead me on, wench. Now Its time I took what was myne," Spike rasped as he bent down over the injured slayer, his breath reeking of Paps Blue.
"Eww, Canadian beer!" Buffy skwickily replied as she struggled to free herself from the sloshed vampire, "And just cause I'm a cock-tease does not give you the right to- huh?" Buffy stopped her screechin preachin when Spike stood up, bottle in hand.
"There, now eye got meself some chocolate shampoo."
"You can't take my shampoo without my consent!"
"Well, I can do anything. I'm Spike. I'm pouty and have amazing abs so you better believe I can get away with any-" and with a 'bong!' Spike was down, decked by a failing anvil. Buffy, acting quickly, grabbed her new chocolate supplies and ran out of the room.
"Thank god I had you guys, I don't think I could have made it with my old stuff," she whispered to her bath products as she walked past a canceled subscription to 'Vanilla' magazine.
Meanwhile, Angel, broody as ever, continued his search for his baby. "Connor? Connor! Connor! Answer me!" he called out into the darkness, like the moron he is.
"Angel, you can't expect your son to answer you," came a voice from the darkness.
"Whistler!" Angel cried, "You're back! And why wouldn't my son answer me?" asked the curiously coifed cursed creature.
"Damn it, Angel! You ruined my entrance, you putz! And your son won't answer you because he's an infant, and you're an idiot!"
"You took my son."
"What?"
"That's the only explanation," Angel replied as he took the pillow out from under his coat, "the only explanation."
"Angel, nooooooooo-mrphlxgrvsh!" Whister cried as Angel put some more mileage on his 'Near Sofacation-Creatin-Cuz-I-Gotta-Family-To-Be-Makin Pillow'.
"Willow!" Tara screamed at her partner, who continued on her rampage of the town's only other street in search of Buffy.
"Not now, baby. Baby needs to find Buffy and kill her. Kill her a lot. Kill that ultra-mega-bitch now," the redhead replied while floating along with eerie calm.
"No, I can't let you do this. Thicken!" As Tara screamed, Willow became momentarily immobilized.
"Um, baby, could you let Willow out, she's gotta go be mean."
"I ca-ca-can't let you do that, Willow. Buffy's yo-your friend, and-"
"Oh, she I-I-is, is she? Then why did she take what's mine?"
"That's enough!" Tara's eyes glinted a brilliant, swirling blue color. "You stop floating and rampaging or I will make you stop."
"Oh really, mom, why don't you just try?"
"Fine! Ponere!" Dark blue light flashed from Tara's body and pushed Willow onto the pavement. "Now stop your whining and act like an adult!" Willow began to show remorse on her face, when suddenly, a huge smile spread across her face and she jumped up, her voice octaves higher.
"Oz!"
"The poor little redheaded boy with the hair issue? But he's." Tara trailed off as she saw her girlfriend rush into the arms of her lycanthrope former boyfriend.
"Hi, Willow," Oz said sweetly, holding a small box out for his former girlfriend, "I have something for you."
"What is it, Oz?"
"Open it-you've got such beautiful eyes."
"Thank you." Willow opened the box, ignoring Tara's whimper, and a yellow light flew across her face, causing her to glow. "It's."
"Your heterosexuality. I've been keeping it safe for when you and Tara ultimately fail because you can't actually be gay, since we were so cute together in high school and the very beginning of college..." Tara's jaw dropped.
"Wha?" However, her incredulity did not spread to her girlfriend, who flung her arms around Oz and kissed him passionately. Tara, almost in disbelief at this point, walked over to her girlfriend and tried to reason with her. "Willow, just because you didn't think you were gay before doesn't make it a phase, just as being gay doesn't invalidate the love you had for Xander and Oz."
"Huh? Hello young lady, I'm making out with my boyfriend, so could you please talk somewhere else?" Willow politely asked.
"Excuse me? Oz comes back and suddenly its like I-I never existed? N- n-no way." The young witch tried to separate the redheads, but was pushed back by Oz.
"Listen, you've had your fun, but since I'm back, you don't really need to be here, do you?"
"The same could be said of you. She chose me, remember? The whole candle blow-out thing?"
"I wasn't there. Besides, you'll have to leave her eventually, and I'll be there, just like we discussed," Oz half-turned back to Willow, who nibbled his ear, as he spoke.
"You discussed your life together after you got rid of me?" she yelled, insenced.
"Well, it was interesting, but I never had any passion with you, I mean, we never kissed with the lights on until Buffy's mom died, and even that was alone in the room."
"It wasn't my fault!"
"Well, sorry. I'm with my snuggle-buggy now, and we are going to have lots of hippos and French monkeys together, now, if you'll excuse us-" But she didn't. Instead, in the middle of Willow's sentence, Tara pushed past her and made out with Oz.
"Ew, boys," Tara managed to spout out, a disgusted look on her face, "God, I am so damn gay.eww," she continued, scraping her tongue and spittin on the ground.
"Well, I'd like to say I had just as bad a time, but I didn't. Also, Willow is glowing yellow again," Oz pointed out.
"Oh, oh my." Indeed, Willow's face again lit up with a golden shade, which dissipated soon after her current? lovers noticed. "Are you ok?" Willow blinked for a moment at her girlfriend's question, then smiled brightly.
"I'm fine. In fact, baby of mine, sigh, I'm bi!"
"Uh-oh," Tara uttered.
"What do you mean, 'uh-oh'?" Oz asked.
"Well," Tara began, "Willow has a tendency to, um, perform musical numbers to illustrate her sexuality. Oh, crap, and here come the back-up dancers." As if from a music video, hard bodied men and women entered the street, flanking Willow left and right and tossing her some pre-bedazzled clothes to put on. The music began, a hard, peppy beat, and sparklers lit up the road. "And here we go."
Found in a street The sound in my ears is not a ring
Two lovers that are so sweet
How 'bout it, people, wanna swing?
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied
I want tacos and hot dogs --please
Bisexual up now tell me
Do you really want Willow now oh oh oh
Or am I just a slut?
Bisexual up now tell me
Is it gonna be you, you, me ka-pow oh oh oh
Or do you wanna add a mutt?
I could be many things
Wanting to do something freaky
Chaffed by nipple rings
Oz, have you ever humped a tiki?
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied
I want tacos and hot dogs --please
Bisexual up now tell me
Do you really want Willow now oh oh oh
Or am I just a slut?
Bisexual up now tell me
Is it gonna be you, you, me ka-pow oh oh oh
Or do you wanna add a mutt?
You both are so cute I don't know what to choose
How bout we all lose our inhibitions
If you're into playing sex games
I'll just have to say-KY KY KY KY KY KY KY KY KY
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied You need to try to spread your wings
Add some pages to the SEX book
I wanna explore you two
Do the deed until you coo
I want tacos and hot dogs -please
"Well, that was interesting," Oz deadpanned.
"Yeah, and since she has her heterosexuality thingy, I think, we can go and find the next piece of the puzzle. Do you wanna come along?"
"No, that's ok. I'm kind of a one-woman man, and you and Willow make two. Besides, I have an audition in L.A. for a stunt double in a new series."
"Wolf Lake was canceled."
"Oh, I'm not, oh, har, har, very funny. I have my own career to look after. I don't need to be with these guys anymore."
"Oh, well, bye." As Oz walked off, Willow approached her girlfriend, glistening with sweat and puffing out her chest in order to get more air, in a non-cold-turkey from magic way. "Hi sweetie."
"Hi. Where'd Oz go?"
"He left to pursue his career. Do you still have the heterosexuality thing figured out, though?" Tara pulled a loose hair from Willow's flushed face as she spoke.
"Yeah. Do wanna go do it in a warehouse?"
"Willow! I'm surprised, I'm shocked- eh, Ok." The two ladies quickly scampered into the nearest empty building as Xander, Anya, and Giles left the Bronze.
"Xander, I just don't understand, I mean, how can one man eat that many pretzels?" Giles asked, frustrated, as he cleaned his glasses.
"Well, they said 'All You Can Eat'. I didn't know they meant, 'Eat Until We Run Out and Then Kick You Out'," the stoutest of the Scoobies replied. "Besides, once I get back to the gym, all of this will melt away."
"Like butter!" Anya added helpfully, then, even more helpfully, cleaned up Xander's drool which formed after hearing that fatty word.
Regina, tag, you're it. Two to go. But in a good way.
Almost all these characters belong to ME, FOX, UPN, and other people.
Thanks to hold_that_thought for being such kind and intelligent support and beta-ing. (warning, she didn't beta this part)
"Dawn, your sister," Giles continued, very close to taking off his glasses and cleaning them.
"I don't have a sister, Giles, that's just sil- Oh damn! Dawn! We've got to go find her!"
"But what about the other items on the list?" Tara asked, "We can't all just go after Dawn and forget about them."
"Huh? Perhaps you forgot, but I'm Buffy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm the only important one. And since Dawn is also made out of me she is also the only important one.wait, what did I just say?" Buffy trailed off, pacing around the Bronze as she gathered her thoughts. "Anyway, we need to all find Dawn and forget about every other plot- I mean, issue in our lives and find Dawn. Dawn is family, and we all have to stick together for-"
"Buffy, look out!" Xander shouted, tossing his tubby self onto his Slayer pal and knocking her out of the way of an incoming anvil.
"You interrupted me."
"I saved your life."
"Did I ever thank you, for saving my life?" the pretty, pixieish predator inquired as she pushed Xander off of her and stood up.
"No. And yes, I wish you would. Now, we have to-" Xander stopped to pull a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe and then jumped for joy, causing Anya some worry.
"What is it, the inside of a Hershey Bar wrapper?"
"No, its my gym membership! I stepped on gum during my dance, and this must have gotten caught, too. Whoopee!" he leapt around, "Whoopee, whoopee, whoo- oww, oww. Groin.oww," Xander grunted as he eased himself into a chair. "I guess you guys have to find the next item while I rest here, with Anya."
"Why do I have to stay?"
"Because you're my fiancée.and I need someone to fetch me snacks. But you still have Spike," noting the empty chair, he corrected himself, "or did. Where did he go?"
"Something about night games and football and he's gonna be an undead Pele or something," Anya elucidated, "I would have caught more, but a waiter walked by with a check in his hand and my mind trailed off into money and cash, and moolah, and dough and bling-blingin and.Oh, yeah, right, quest and stuff. Well, we don't really need Spike. All we need is Buffy, and we have her-"
"No we don't," Giles explained, "she just ran out the back door, with something shiny under her arm. I'd say its hair but she's apparently clean as a whistle." "Ewww" Tara and Anya winced, crossing their legs uncomfortably.
"Oh My Lesbianic Goddess! That bitch took my bedazzler!" Willow's eyes glowed a fiery red as she stormed toward the door, stopping only to grab her inflatable kiddie-pool as storage for later water consumption. "Bitch is gonna pay." Tara looked apologetically at the three remaining members of the group, then ran off to try and stop her girlfriend from hurting the ones she loved, again.
Dawn woke up from her stupor on the sidewalk and, with help from her hair, was able to stand again. "Thanks, Vivian. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be even more useless than you are now, a complete social outcast, and dead, in no particular order," her hair replied, "Now lets get moving, we don't have time to dawdle when my life is on the line."
"But its so dark, I can't see well enough to walk there," Dawn whined. Vivian placated her host body with a swish of herself, causing a shiny gleam to light Dawn's way. "Oh Vivian, you're my best friend."
"I'm your only friend you prissy little bitch, now get to stepping," Vivian harshly replied, until a whimper from Dawn warmed her heart, or whatever it is sentient hair has. "Ok, fine, you can stop and steal lawn ornaments; but it must be something you can fit in your pocket.No, not the flamingo!"
"B.U.F.F.Y." Buffy bedazzled the door of her home, marking her territory in a way Season- I mean, high school sophmore Buffy might have. Something was different, something was making her happier than she usually was, at least happier than she usually showed herself to be. She was able to relax, and not think about Dawn. Or Spike. Or Dawn and Spike together- eww, nevermind. The itty-bitty blonde brawler locked the door, ran up the steps, crept into the bathroom, and locked the door, giving a big sigh of relief afterwards.
"I'm home. Thank god. Now to take a bath in my new chocolate-scented bath oils, right next to my chocolate-scented candles, and use my chocolate- scented shampoo and conditioner, and then, after I get out, I'll use Fudge to fix up my hair," she gleefully thought aloud while pulling off her mocha- colored robe and matching slippers. Just then, there was a knock at the bathroom door, which Buffy thought odd since everyone knows this was Buffy time. However, she shrugged it off and unlocked the door to reveal Spike, drunk off his ass.
"'Ello slayah.I just did da English Soccar Hooligan thing, and now eye'm 'ere to mahk yooo an offah you canna' refuusse." Hands on hips, Buffy surveyed the once proud Spike, who hours ago was her whipping boy and was now, though with balls, still just as pathetic as ever.
"Unless that offer involves me kicking you out right now, I really don't foresee me agreeing to this offer." Spike, however, had other ideas. He grabbed at Buffy's arm, but she countered with an open palm upthrust to his chin. He fell back in pain, shock, and a little bit of nausea.
"'Ow you do dat, slayah? I'm gonna show ooo just how Spike got his nickname," and before Buffy could even utter one pun, Spike produced a railroad spike from his duster.
"How-what-the hell? I thought you gave up railroad spikes a long time ago, along with trying to kill me."
"Well, things chahange." With remarkable skill and accuracy for someone who was seriously snockered, spike thrust the Railroad Spike at her numerous times.
"Spike, this isn't fair! I'm in a friggin robe, in my bathroom! I-" but her words were cut short when spike rammed the blunt part of the Spike into Buffy's ribcage and felled her.
"No, ooo lead me on, wench. Now Its time I took what was myne," Spike rasped as he bent down over the injured slayer, his breath reeking of Paps Blue.
"Eww, Canadian beer!" Buffy skwickily replied as she struggled to free herself from the sloshed vampire, "And just cause I'm a cock-tease does not give you the right to- huh?" Buffy stopped her screechin preachin when Spike stood up, bottle in hand.
"There, now eye got meself some chocolate shampoo."
"You can't take my shampoo without my consent!"
"Well, I can do anything. I'm Spike. I'm pouty and have amazing abs so you better believe I can get away with any-" and with a 'bong!' Spike was down, decked by a failing anvil. Buffy, acting quickly, grabbed her new chocolate supplies and ran out of the room.
"Thank god I had you guys, I don't think I could have made it with my old stuff," she whispered to her bath products as she walked past a canceled subscription to 'Vanilla' magazine.
Meanwhile, Angel, broody as ever, continued his search for his baby. "Connor? Connor! Connor! Answer me!" he called out into the darkness, like the moron he is.
"Angel, you can't expect your son to answer you," came a voice from the darkness.
"Whistler!" Angel cried, "You're back! And why wouldn't my son answer me?" asked the curiously coifed cursed creature.
"Damn it, Angel! You ruined my entrance, you putz! And your son won't answer you because he's an infant, and you're an idiot!"
"You took my son."
"What?"
"That's the only explanation," Angel replied as he took the pillow out from under his coat, "the only explanation."
"Angel, nooooooooo-mrphlxgrvsh!" Whister cried as Angel put some more mileage on his 'Near Sofacation-Creatin-Cuz-I-Gotta-Family-To-Be-Makin Pillow'.
"Willow!" Tara screamed at her partner, who continued on her rampage of the town's only other street in search of Buffy.
"Not now, baby. Baby needs to find Buffy and kill her. Kill her a lot. Kill that ultra-mega-bitch now," the redhead replied while floating along with eerie calm.
"No, I can't let you do this. Thicken!" As Tara screamed, Willow became momentarily immobilized.
"Um, baby, could you let Willow out, she's gotta go be mean."
"I ca-ca-can't let you do that, Willow. Buffy's yo-your friend, and-"
"Oh, she I-I-is, is she? Then why did she take what's mine?"
"That's enough!" Tara's eyes glinted a brilliant, swirling blue color. "You stop floating and rampaging or I will make you stop."
"Oh really, mom, why don't you just try?"
"Fine! Ponere!" Dark blue light flashed from Tara's body and pushed Willow onto the pavement. "Now stop your whining and act like an adult!" Willow began to show remorse on her face, when suddenly, a huge smile spread across her face and she jumped up, her voice octaves higher.
"Oz!"
"The poor little redheaded boy with the hair issue? But he's." Tara trailed off as she saw her girlfriend rush into the arms of her lycanthrope former boyfriend.
"Hi, Willow," Oz said sweetly, holding a small box out for his former girlfriend, "I have something for you."
"What is it, Oz?"
"Open it-you've got such beautiful eyes."
"Thank you." Willow opened the box, ignoring Tara's whimper, and a yellow light flew across her face, causing her to glow. "It's."
"Your heterosexuality. I've been keeping it safe for when you and Tara ultimately fail because you can't actually be gay, since we were so cute together in high school and the very beginning of college..." Tara's jaw dropped.
"Wha?" However, her incredulity did not spread to her girlfriend, who flung her arms around Oz and kissed him passionately. Tara, almost in disbelief at this point, walked over to her girlfriend and tried to reason with her. "Willow, just because you didn't think you were gay before doesn't make it a phase, just as being gay doesn't invalidate the love you had for Xander and Oz."
"Huh? Hello young lady, I'm making out with my boyfriend, so could you please talk somewhere else?" Willow politely asked.
"Excuse me? Oz comes back and suddenly its like I-I never existed? N- n-no way." The young witch tried to separate the redheads, but was pushed back by Oz.
"Listen, you've had your fun, but since I'm back, you don't really need to be here, do you?"
"The same could be said of you. She chose me, remember? The whole candle blow-out thing?"
"I wasn't there. Besides, you'll have to leave her eventually, and I'll be there, just like we discussed," Oz half-turned back to Willow, who nibbled his ear, as he spoke.
"You discussed your life together after you got rid of me?" she yelled, insenced.
"Well, it was interesting, but I never had any passion with you, I mean, we never kissed with the lights on until Buffy's mom died, and even that was alone in the room."
"It wasn't my fault!"
"Well, sorry. I'm with my snuggle-buggy now, and we are going to have lots of hippos and French monkeys together, now, if you'll excuse us-" But she didn't. Instead, in the middle of Willow's sentence, Tara pushed past her and made out with Oz.
"Ew, boys," Tara managed to spout out, a disgusted look on her face, "God, I am so damn gay.eww," she continued, scraping her tongue and spittin on the ground.
"Well, I'd like to say I had just as bad a time, but I didn't. Also, Willow is glowing yellow again," Oz pointed out.
"Oh, oh my." Indeed, Willow's face again lit up with a golden shade, which dissipated soon after her current? lovers noticed. "Are you ok?" Willow blinked for a moment at her girlfriend's question, then smiled brightly.
"I'm fine. In fact, baby of mine, sigh, I'm bi!"
"Uh-oh," Tara uttered.
"What do you mean, 'uh-oh'?" Oz asked.
"Well," Tara began, "Willow has a tendency to, um, perform musical numbers to illustrate her sexuality. Oh, crap, and here come the back-up dancers." As if from a music video, hard bodied men and women entered the street, flanking Willow left and right and tossing her some pre-bedazzled clothes to put on. The music began, a hard, peppy beat, and sparklers lit up the road. "And here we go."
Found in a street The sound in my ears is not a ring
Two lovers that are so sweet
How 'bout it, people, wanna swing?
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied
I want tacos and hot dogs --please
Bisexual up now tell me
Do you really want Willow now oh oh oh
Or am I just a slut?
Bisexual up now tell me
Is it gonna be you, you, me ka-pow oh oh oh
Or do you wanna add a mutt?
I could be many things
Wanting to do something freaky
Chaffed by nipple rings
Oz, have you ever humped a tiki?
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied
I want tacos and hot dogs --please
Bisexual up now tell me
Do you really want Willow now oh oh oh
Or am I just a slut?
Bisexual up now tell me
Is it gonna be you, you, me ka-pow oh oh oh
Or do you wanna add a mutt?
You both are so cute I don't know what to choose
How bout we all lose our inhibitions
If you're into playing sex games
I'll just have to say-KY KY KY KY KY KY KY KY KY
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
Would would you both do me
I've been mystified
Unsure what I liked Now I realize both sides lied You need to try to spread your wings
Add some pages to the SEX book
I wanna explore you two
Do the deed until you coo
I want tacos and hot dogs -please
"Well, that was interesting," Oz deadpanned.
"Yeah, and since she has her heterosexuality thingy, I think, we can go and find the next piece of the puzzle. Do you wanna come along?"
"No, that's ok. I'm kind of a one-woman man, and you and Willow make two. Besides, I have an audition in L.A. for a stunt double in a new series."
"Wolf Lake was canceled."
"Oh, I'm not, oh, har, har, very funny. I have my own career to look after. I don't need to be with these guys anymore."
"Oh, well, bye." As Oz walked off, Willow approached her girlfriend, glistening with sweat and puffing out her chest in order to get more air, in a non-cold-turkey from magic way. "Hi sweetie."
"Hi. Where'd Oz go?"
"He left to pursue his career. Do you still have the heterosexuality thing figured out, though?" Tara pulled a loose hair from Willow's flushed face as she spoke.
"Yeah. Do wanna go do it in a warehouse?"
"Willow! I'm surprised, I'm shocked- eh, Ok." The two ladies quickly scampered into the nearest empty building as Xander, Anya, and Giles left the Bronze.
"Xander, I just don't understand, I mean, how can one man eat that many pretzels?" Giles asked, frustrated, as he cleaned his glasses.
"Well, they said 'All You Can Eat'. I didn't know they meant, 'Eat Until We Run Out and Then Kick You Out'," the stoutest of the Scoobies replied. "Besides, once I get back to the gym, all of this will melt away."
"Like butter!" Anya added helpfully, then, even more helpfully, cleaned up Xander's drool which formed after hearing that fatty word.
Regina, tag, you're it. Two to go. But in a good way.