Into Shadow

SarWolf Snape

Summary: Companion Piece to A Wind in the Meadow. Theodred's thoughts after the conversation with Eomer as he prepares to leave for the Fords. Angsty and kinda sappy, but I like it.

Notes: Thanks to Loi and Al and everyone else at the canonballs rpg who helped me write this and were bored to death with my complaints about Theodred's angst as well as hourly word count updates… That said, is anyone interested in joining a post war of the ring Tolkien RPG? We're a lot of fun and have lots of openings for new members right now. See http://www.geocities.com/canonballsrpg/home.html for details.

I turned from the stables, leaving Eomer to stand there and consider everything. That he meant his promise regarding Grima, I have no doubts, but that he would manage to keep it…well there was another kettle of fish altogether. Knowing Eomer… It almost makes me wish that he would be joining me now, so that I know he wouldn't get carried away and try anything.

On the other hand, I have misgivings about my venture to the Fords. So much of what happened lately all seems just a bit.…odd. When I also take into account the way that Grima has been almost…smirking at me as of late, Well, I am inclined to believe that something sinister is at works. Although I haven't said much of this to my men, I look to the first light with some degree of…I must force myself to admit this, fear.

Something, and I know not what it is, tells me that I may not be coming back this time. I may well be riding to my death, and leaving behind all chance of helping to free my people from Saruman's evil and Grima's web of treachery. Returning from my post to make my reports, I have seen Rohan change before my very eyes. Slowly at first it seemed, indeed so slowly that Eomer and I at first did not recognize it, and then…it became too late.

I would that I had noticed sooner, attempted to do more. I hate, absolutely hate the fact that duties kept me away for so long, when I was needed most here. There was nothing Eomer of I could do to stop it ,being so far out of reach. Eowyn of course saw more than us, but she too was powerless in the end. But as for me, there has to be something more that I could have done, something I should have said…Blast it all I am the Prince of all people! I should have been able to fix it. But I wasn't.

My father will hear nothing of what I say, nothing at least that is not first twisted by Grima. With his venomous tongue, the advisor has poisoned not only Theoden King, but Rohan itself. And things will never return to how they were. Our people are failing now, fading much as the king has done, falling under this shadow, which may never be lifted. Indeed, if what I fear will come to pass, does indeed happen, if I fall and if Eomer proves unable to hold his peace, then what happens? Do we all fall to ashes along with our crops and villages?

It seems inevitable that this will happen, and yet still I am going. If this is indeed to be my last battle, if these days are truly to be Rohan's last then I would not have her fall short now. I would have her remembered for her glory of old, for the wild horses running across the plains,. When we are spoken of in later years I would have the shadows fade and the memories of what we stood for once, of what we still stand for remain.

And so, for this, I know what I must do. If tomorrow I'm to meet my doom I will meet it in such a way that will be remembered. I will stand as one who wishes only to save his lands, and should that fail, as one who fights in honor of her memory. Should I fall, well I can only hope for the best

Hope…where can it be found now? I suppose we must now look to the only logical place. Eomer. Though at times my cousin can be a bit…moody? Exasperating? Prone to violence? I know that he holds the best interests of the people at heart and would hold strong. I worry of course about him and Grima, but I know Eomer, and that once he has given his word, it would take a strong force for him to willingly break it. So, in Eomer, I place all hope. I know enough not to waste it on myself. Not when my circumstances dictate otherwise. Eomer will do a good job of it I know. Better than I could at any rate.

So, with that in mind, I feel a bit more secure. Not entirely of course, but better still. Whatever lies ahead for me, I refuse to face it ill prepared and will find rest now, as I may, seeing that soon it will not be a choice.

***

Morning comes and now we ride. I look to my home one last time as I finish with Brego's tack and lead him over to where the rest of my men await our leavetaking. As I am about to mount, I notice Eomer standing among the others. I frankly hadn't expected this, but am glad of his presence nonetheless. I'll have the chance to say a few last things, to tell him what needs to be done, prepare him for the fact that upon my death he becomes the heir. To tell him a few last minute things. But when he walks over, I am unable to say a single word.

"Good luck." Eomer says, then looks deep into my eyes, his own quite serious. "About what happened last night…my promise…"

Somehow I manage to find my voice. "Yes cousin? What of it?"

"I want you to know that I intend to keep it…unless.."

"Extenuating circumstances may prevent it. I know. I trust you Eomer. All of us do." I pause, not sure how to go on now. "I told you last night I have a bad feeling about today did I not?"

"You did." Eomer sighs, already knowing that riders don't always come back. He learned it when he was young. Too young. I look on him now for a moment, seeing the angry boy of eleven who first came to Medulsed. In his place now, is a young man of twenty eight who may be about to take on the biggest most frightening responsibility of his life. He has grown up too fast. As has Eowyn. But in this place what else were they to do? Life is life and there's no changing it. Rather it is something you accept and move on with. As I must do now.

There seems to be so much I haven't said. And so little time to say it in now. So little time…yes…the riders are already mounted and waiting for my command. As I mount up I turn again to my cousin. "Eomer…"

"I know."

I look once again at Edoras, at the last hope for our future. Things will go on here, whether I am a part of them or not. After all, my cousin is here. Eomer will see to them. Nodding to him one last time, I gather my reins and turn again to the waiting eored.

"Forth Eorlingas!" The words seem not to come from me but from someone else, yet this last task is mine. The land waits for a light in the darkest places, and I would see it happen. We ride straight into it, the riders of Rohan do not show fear. The sun seems almost to disappear, but still we ride on, to face our destinies, whatever those may now be.

The End