Dear Daddy,
I miss you so much.
It's been a few months since you died and went up to Heaven and left us down here to cry for you and for what we all lost, and still I am crying. Every Friday evening I cry when you don't burst into the house and call out for us to greet you with hugs and kisses. Every night at dinner I cry when I look at your seat at the head of the table and see just an empty space. And every night when I go to sleep I cry because you didn't kiss me goodnight. I never even knew I had this many tears in me. I never knew anything could hurt this much, for your death has hurt me, hurt all of us, a million times worse than anything we've ever experienced.
The world isn't the same without you in it. Nothing seems as beautiful or bright without your smile and laughter. Why did you have to leave us? Why did God take you away? God was wrong to take you, because we need you here, more than He could ever need you. We need a loving father to take care of us and Momma needs a husband to make her happy. Momma is so sad without you, Daddy. Her face has lost its brightness and she never smiles anymore. She, like the rest of us, feels hopeless.
But maybe there's a bit of hope. We are on our way to Momma's parents' house as I write this. We are going to live with them from now on, since we cannot afford to live on our own anymore. Momma's parents, though they haven't seen her in almost twenty years, have invited us to live with them in their Virginia mansion. Can you imagine that, Daddy? Us in a grand mansion fit for kings and queens! But all the riches in the world can't make up for what you meant to me.
And I'm a little scared of this place we've never seen and these grandparents we've never met before. They disowned Momma long ago for doing something they disapproved of, and only now they are starting to forgive her and welcome her back into their lives. What if they are still angry with her for whatever she did, and what if they don't like us, her children? But how could they not love the twins, for they are the most beautiful and lovely children; everyone back home in Gladstone said so. And they have to love Christopher… he's so smart and very mature for his age, so much like you, a real gentleman and I'm sure they will appreciate that. And maybe they'll appreciate my talent for dancing, too. Maybe they'll think I am beautiful and think of me as their little princess. But I could never really be anyone's princess but yours, Daddy. I could never love anyone as much as I love you either, you don't have to worry about that.
I'm a little worried for us, though, and how we'll fare in this new world and this new life without you. Please watch over us from Heaven, and make sure we are happy and safe and warm, always. Because right now everything is cold when you're not here to hold me in your warm arms and tell me everything is going to be all right.
It feels like nothing will ever be all right again.
Forever loving you,
Cathy
June 23, 1957
I miss you so much.
It's been a few months since you died and went up to Heaven and left us down here to cry for you and for what we all lost, and still I am crying. Every Friday evening I cry when you don't burst into the house and call out for us to greet you with hugs and kisses. Every night at dinner I cry when I look at your seat at the head of the table and see just an empty space. And every night when I go to sleep I cry because you didn't kiss me goodnight. I never even knew I had this many tears in me. I never knew anything could hurt this much, for your death has hurt me, hurt all of us, a million times worse than anything we've ever experienced.
The world isn't the same without you in it. Nothing seems as beautiful or bright without your smile and laughter. Why did you have to leave us? Why did God take you away? God was wrong to take you, because we need you here, more than He could ever need you. We need a loving father to take care of us and Momma needs a husband to make her happy. Momma is so sad without you, Daddy. Her face has lost its brightness and she never smiles anymore. She, like the rest of us, feels hopeless.
But maybe there's a bit of hope. We are on our way to Momma's parents' house as I write this. We are going to live with them from now on, since we cannot afford to live on our own anymore. Momma's parents, though they haven't seen her in almost twenty years, have invited us to live with them in their Virginia mansion. Can you imagine that, Daddy? Us in a grand mansion fit for kings and queens! But all the riches in the world can't make up for what you meant to me.
And I'm a little scared of this place we've never seen and these grandparents we've never met before. They disowned Momma long ago for doing something they disapproved of, and only now they are starting to forgive her and welcome her back into their lives. What if they are still angry with her for whatever she did, and what if they don't like us, her children? But how could they not love the twins, for they are the most beautiful and lovely children; everyone back home in Gladstone said so. And they have to love Christopher… he's so smart and very mature for his age, so much like you, a real gentleman and I'm sure they will appreciate that. And maybe they'll appreciate my talent for dancing, too. Maybe they'll think I am beautiful and think of me as their little princess. But I could never really be anyone's princess but yours, Daddy. I could never love anyone as much as I love you either, you don't have to worry about that.
I'm a little worried for us, though, and how we'll fare in this new world and this new life without you. Please watch over us from Heaven, and make sure we are happy and safe and warm, always. Because right now everything is cold when you're not here to hold me in your warm arms and tell me everything is going to be all right.
It feels like nothing will ever be all right again.
Forever loving you,
Cathy
June 23, 1957