Disclaimer: I don't own it. But you already knew that.
A/N: Sorry I didn't update this yesterday…I don't think you guys weren't too happy about that. I'm sorry -whimper- And I do promise that things get better. Just not right away…I didn't realize you guys would think it was that sad…But this chapter isn't much better. She cries once again. But I do believe this is the last time for a while. And I lied, the previous chapter wasn't my shortest one. This one is… But anyways, here it is:
All this because of a promise ring?
Pan was sitting on her floor looking down at the letter in her hands. Things were beginning to change for her. She was so glad. It was another acceptance letter from the design school she was attending. They were informing her of the steps to take in order to activate her scholarship, the papers she needed to sign and the rules she needed to follow to keep it. She couldn't help but beam. Her father hadn't been particularly supportive of the idea, but once he realized she was set in her ways, he relented.
Now finals were over and she was one step closer to walking into the real world. Soon graduation would be coming around and then she'd be moving out so she could be closer to her school. Soon, she'd be moving in with Bra. They still had apartment hunting to do. She had gone out and got a job (it wasn't a great job but she got paid) for the cause. She didn't want to come sniveling to her parents or her grandfather for money to pay rent. Her mother was already begging her not to leave.
What would Videl have done if she would have gone off to the Americas? Would she have moved with Pan? Certainly not. She would have to let go sometime, and Pan was exited to get out of her mother's grasp. Even though she loved her dearly. She was eighteen and she wanted to live her own life. Wanted to find out what it was like to be self reliant and sufficient. She couldn't wait for the responsibility to roll in.
Unlike Bra, who had talked her father into paying her half of the rent. Pan was ready to take life by the horns and conquer. She was doing everything she had to just to get out. It sounded wrong, she knew, saying she was so ready to leave. But with an overprotective father, like Gohan, and a semi-controlling mother like Videl, what more could you expect from a child? She needed to spread her wings and fly.
Especially when you've lived the sheltered life, a life like Pan's, you just can't wait for the fresh air. That was how she felt now. She'd never known the real things life had to offer. She'd never been popular, never had boys falling at her feet, never had more than four real friends at a time. With all these chips staking up, there was nothing else to look forward to but real life. People had always told her that if she thought high school was bad she'd adore college. She was waiting for that moment ever since her Junior year. She was waiting for a time where she could fit in, where she could have fun, and now was finally about to be her time. She adored it and she couldn't wait.
The phone rang and disrupted her thoughts. She jumped, slightly, being welcomed back into the real world. She turned her head and stared down at the phone for a second as if it were a foreign object; one she'd never seen before and didn't know how to work. When the noise persisted she leaned over and pulled the cordless of the receiver.
"Hello." She said in a voice that sounded almost as if she'd just woken up.
"Hi, beautiful." A familiar sound called to her over the other end. She shivered slightly, it wasn't who she thought it was. It just couldn't be.
"Harrison?" She said slowly as the voice on the other end laughed at her.
"Yes, Harrison. Don't say it as though you haven't talked to me in a million years." His voice was warm, filled with affection. Pan smiled, it had always been that way.
"I'm sorry. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She smiled, despite herself. He had been the first person who ever said he loved her. -And the only…- she thought bitterly.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm having one of the many parties that are going to be going on after graduation. I'd be delighted if you came."
"You'd be delighted?" She mocked. He laughed softly and she could almost see the dimples that were pressing in his cheeks.
"Yes. You heard me, delighted. You know I'm going away to college, it would be one of the last opportunities for us to see each other. I really hoped it wouldn't be this way." He said the last part softly. Pan felt her heart flutter, despite her better senses, she couldn't help but find herself wishing he were referring to not wanting to leave her. Why had they broken up, anyway?
"Oh?" She said softly, flirtatiously.
"You know I'll miss you too much, P-Chan." He admitted reluctantly. Then the memory overflowed her senses like too much heat in June. What a foolish thought she'd just had. Of course she knew why they had broken up. She liked him, but her heart was with someone else. Why had she let him call her P-Chan…or anything with that much affection associated with it? He shouldn't love her, someone much better was out there for him. Suddenly, she was glad he was going to England for college. Suddenly, she was glad she couldn't break his heart. Where before she wanted nothing but attention and adoration, no matter what it cost his feelings. No, she would never break anyone's heart the way Trunks had hers. Unless it were Trunks himself whom she was destroying. And she would never love again, unless she were sure of the consequences and ready to risk them.
She quickly became aware of the awkward silence on the phone and then realized it was because Harrison had said he'd miss her. She blushed slightly, realizing she was doing it to him already. She was toying with his emotions.
"I'll miss you too, Harrison. You were a great friend." She put the emphasis on the words 'were' and 'friend', and could almost see his frown. You can hear it when someone's smiling on the phone, and he defiantly wasn't.
"Well, anyway. I hope to see you there. Goodbye Pan."
"Goodbye, Harrison." She spoke softly as she hung up the phone. "I'm sorry." But he hadn't heard her apology, he was gone already. It wasn't her intention for him to hear it, however, she'd merely said it to ease her own heartache. She didn't want to think of anyone hurting him the way Trunks had hurt her. He was a great guy and deserved so much more than she had to offer him. Though she could have smiled with him, told him she cared, and put on a show and he'd have known no better, it wasn't her style. It wasn't right. She laughed now, thinking of herself as a heartbreaker was ironic. She was the type to always be a best friend, never date potential. It just wasn't natural that a guy would fall in love with her. She didn't deserve Harrison. The same way Trunks didn't deserve her. Or was it the other way around? Maybe she didn't deserve Trunks either…
She glanced down at her watch and realized she should be heading to Capsule Corps. Bra should be ready by now and they really needed to look for apartment today. They'd been putting if off for more than two weeks, and if they didn't hurry and find a place so they could make a down payment and sign a lease, Pan would be in frenzy. Everything would have to be organized, she didn't believe in leaving things to chance or spur of the moment. If something could go wrong at the last minute, it would. She learned that the hard way more than one time and she wasn't willing to make the same mistake more than once. This dream was worth too much to risk screwing up. This dream of freedom was all she had now, and making that dream come true was all she had to live for. If even one thing screwed up, it was all over. Even one thing.
She hopped up, grabbed her heavy, black coat, and ran out of her room and down the stairs. "I'm going house hunting!" She yelled through the house so wherever her mother was she would hear. Then she bolted out the door and flew into the air.
"Oh Pan! You have to come in here and look at this!" Bra was yelling to her before she even planted her foot on the carpeted floor.
"What is it?" She asked, scared that something had gone horribly wrong. Was it something to do with the apartment? Her heart dropped into her stomach. What if something were wrong? Bra was jumping up and down and her face was fixed in a smile. No, there was nothing wrong. Pan let out the breath she'd been holding in.
"It's a letter!" She yelped and grabbed Pan's hand, pulling her into the living room. Bulma was holding it proudly, as if it were her prized possession. Vegita looked up at Pan, grunted, shrugged his shoulders, and walked out of the room. Pan bit her lip to keep from laughing. He was so emotionless all the time.
"Who's it from?" Pan asked, playing along with her '100 questions' game.
"Guess, Pan-Chan." Pan rolled her eyes.
"College?" She lifted and eyebrow. Bra shook her head.
"You know I'm going to the college on this island." Pan shrugged.
"Tell me." But Bra had a mischievous glint in her eyes as she refused to comply. Pan crossed her arms and put all her weight on one leg, being just as stubborn.
"Oh, come on! Guess!" Bra jumped up and down again.
"I don't know who it could possibly be from that's got you all exited." Pan spoke in an annoyed tone.
"It's from Trunks." Bulma informed with a grin on her face. Bra gave her mother a sour look, obviously upset at her having ruined her game.
"And what does it say?" Pan asked, giving in to the silence. "And, Bra," She started as Bra opened her mouth. "If you tell me to 'guess', I'll kill you." She rolled her eyes. Bra laughed and shut her mouth.
"It says he's coming home early." She spoke after she regained her composure. "He passed his business exams and he's ready to come home and start working for the company. He'll be home sometime this week, he wants to surprise us. He wouldn't say when." She stated proudly.
"Okay…" Pan stood, speechless and confused. "And why are you jumping up and down and screaming and so happy? It's not like he wasn't just here two months ago." Pan shrugged, trying to stop the grin that was threatening to spread on her face. She would hate for anyone to know how happy she really was. Her heart was jumping, but she didn't want to be happy. She didn't want to care either way.
"He's got a puppy!" Bra blurted. "It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. You have to look at this picture!" She squealed. Pan's eyes traveled to the picture and sure enough, it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She smiled, despite herself, looking goofily at the picture. "He said he was going to give it to someone. But he didn't say who. Oh, I hope he gives me that puppy!" Bra was still talking in a high pitched voice as Pan managed to control herself. It was just a puppy.
"I'm sure he will, Bra." Pan tried to keep the frown from her face. She tried to keep the distaste from her voice. She'd like to punch Trunks one day. And she resolved when he got back, she would. She wouldn't have to tell him why. She'd just punch him. He caused so many conflicting emotions within her, and she didn't like things she couldn't control. And by the time he was supposed to come home she had expected to be on her way to college, but now she was staying in Japan. Now she'd have to see him. She couldn't leave him here the way he'd left her, and she wanted to so badly.
She looked down at the letter Bulma was folding up, obviously still in a daze about her son coming home, and let her frown show. She couldn't help but think back on the letter he'd sent her. And there had been more after that one. Two more, to be exact. He'd sent her three letters, she knew he did it on purpose. So he had returned the letters she sent him when he first left, even if it took him three years, he had written her back. Now she couldn't possibly be mad at him, right? After all, that was the behavior you could expect from a guy that saw you as nothing more than an old friend and his little sister's playmate. It was all she could ask for, right? So what, it had taken him one year a piece for each letter. So what. She smiled, maliciously, her thoughts dripped with sarcasm.
It didn't matter though, she had resolved to let it go and that's exactly what she was going to do. She didn't want to hate him because he'd hurt her, especially when he hadn't even known he'd hurt her. She was going to be fine when he got back home; she would welcome him like everyone else. She smiled as Bra looked up at her grabbed Bra's hand.
"We have to go." She pointed out. Bra frowned, obviously searching her memory for where they had to go. Pan laughed even though she didn't think it was funny. This was their entire future and she had forgotten about it.
"Where do we have to go?" She finally asked.
"Hello Bra, apartment hunting. Now." Pan yanked on her arm and Bra was pulled into walking behind Pan.
"Oh yeah." Pan heard as they walked out the door. She was thankful Bra couldn't see the scorn on her face. "And later we have to go shopping for our graduation outfit."
"They give us a gown." Pan spoke as they climbed into the air car.
"You have to wear clothes under it." Bra said as though she were a moron.
"No one will see what you're wearing. Why get a new outfit?"
"We're not going to be wearing the gown afterwards. And besides, it's tricky business deciding what to wear under a graduation gown. If it's too thin, you'll be cold, if your outfit is too thick you'll be hot and sweaty. You wouldn't want to be uncomfortable for as long as you're going to be standing up there on that stage. In front of other people…" As Bra rambled on and on about outfits Pan found herself wondering why she'd even argued it in the first place. She knew she'd never win, not when Bra had set her mind on something. Especially if it had to do with clothes. Then something Bra said caught her attention.
"And you can't fool me now, about you not liking to go shopping. We all know you're going to be a fashion designer so there's no point in pretending to be a tomboy anymore. Your secret's out. You're a girly-girl like me and Marron, so you might as well start dressing like one." She looked at Pan's sweater, two sizes too big and out of style, frowning. Pan rolled her eyes.
"I can wear whatever I want. That's what models are for. To wear your designs for you." She frowned and looked down at her sweater. It wasn't that bad….was it?
"I don't think people will want to support your line if you go into stores asking them to sell it and you look like that. You have to dress the part, Pan." Pan shrugged, not wanting to argue about the subject. Maybe Bra was right. If she were, Pan would have to change her wardrobe. That would suck.
She'd always worn clothes because they were comfortable. Never for any reason more than that. She didn't like to go shopping and pick out nice things for herself, but she loved seeing pretty people. That's where the fashion designer dream had come from. She started drawing pretty people, with pretty clothes. But never before had she wanted to be one of those people. It was odd, she had a passion about clothing. But she didn't even bother when it was just her getting dressed.
By the time they got back, exhausted and out of luck, they were still apartment less. There were no good apartments in the area they were looking in. And if they were good they were way out of Pan's price range. Bra tried talking her into asking her grandpa for some money on more than one occasion of house hunting, but Pan had refused. She had to be self-sufficient. It was important for her to get out their on her own. More than likely it was the Saiyan pride of hers coming in to play. But that didn't matter, she wasn't going to change her mind.
Pan sighed and slid onto the couch, throwing her legs up as she relaxed. Bra took a seat opposite her and for seconds on end they just stared at one another. The sound of a clock ticking in the background could be heard as Bra rested her hands on her cheeks and frowned.
"If you'd just take the money Pan. Then I could be moving out of this joint." Her voice was soft but temperamental, warning Pan to do as she was told. Pan shook her head and rolled her eyes, leaning back into the chair.
"I don't want to. You just don't understand, Bra. When I leave I want it to be for good and because I can. Not still under my parents'…or grandparents', supervision." Bra twiddled with her fingers for a while and then began pestering Pan again.
"Take the money!" She yelled after a few minutes of silence.
"No." Pan spoke softly and Bra knew she would not cave. She let out a very loud and obnoxious sigh before sliding down into her own chair and closing her eyes.
"You're so stubborn." She muttered with frustration. "We'll go out again tomorrow?" She opened one eye to look at Pan. Pan nodded and stood up.
"Same time." She was heading for the door when it burst open. A loud, high pitched scream was heard and Pan jumped, both her and Bra running to the door.
"What the hell?" Pan asked as she saw Marron standing by the door, hands clamped over her mouth with an ecstatic expression on her face. Then she remembered Bra this morning when she first came into the apartment and wondered if Trunks was back with that dog of his. She rolled her eyes at the thought, her temper overruling her curiosity and pushed past Marron. If he were to come home, she didn't want to be here. Everyone knew the mail was slow and he probably sent that letter off a week or two ago.
"Oh, the greatest thing has happened." Marron exclaimed, grabbing Pan softly before she left the house. An eyebrow lifted on Pan's face as she gave Marron a look that was asking if she were sane. Did she realize that she had just grabbed Pan?
"What happened Marron!" Bra yelled, scared and anxious to find out at the same time. Marron was bouncing up and down as she released Pan from her grasp. She didn't say anything to answer Bra's question, but the smile on her face was broad when she stuck her hand out in front of her and wiggled her fingers to exhibit her ring on the one next to her pinky.
There was a white gold ring decorating it with a pink gem in the middle. Two diamonds were on either side and Pan found that her mouth had hit the floor. Marron had an engagement ring! Who was it from? Surely not Trunks, not Pan's Trunks. She felt her body shake as Bra jumped up and down in the excitement with Marron. They were grasping each other and tears were streaming down Marron's face. Pan clasped her hands into fists and started to inch farther out of the door. She didn't want to hear this, didn't want to see or be apart of this. Not celebrating a union she never thought should be.
"You mean!" Bra yelled, unable to complete a whole thought.
"Uh-huh!" Marron filled her in.
"Ubuu finally asked!" Bra squealed. They had let each other go now and Marron was trying to regain her composure. Pan paused, for she was just about to take flight. She slowly turned around and looked at the blonde girl. Her face was flushed with pink and smeared with wet from the tears.
"It's not official." She finally answered. "He said…he said it was a promise ring." Pan let out the air she'd been holding in, her whole body seemed to gain control. All except her knees. She walked back into the room, slightly shaky, and looking for something to grasp. If she didn't, she was going to faint. She'd never fainted before so she wasn't sure how she could determine the warning signs, but she was sure that a second longer without support and she would faint. Her hand gripped the railing and she was holding onto it so tight that when Bra turned to look at her, her hands were ashen white.
"Pan, what's wrong?" Bra asked, stepping over to her friend. "Isn't it great, the news about Marron and Ubuu?" She was ecstatic but her eyes held worry for Pan.
"Yes." Pan said weakly, her throat had cracked, and she found herself maneuvering so that she could sit on the step. Bra walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Then moved one up to her forehead and checked the temperature. She wasn't running high.
"I'm okay." Pan told her with a nod. She drew in a long breath and stood up, able to relax again. "I just got a little lightheaded." She tried to explain as Marron and Bra eyed her closely. "Marron," She turned a wide smile toward the blonde. "I didn't know you were dating Ubuu." Her eyes were watery, and Pan felt, though she didn't know why, that she was about to cry. It certainly wasn't joy for the girl, Marron hadn't been a good friend of hers.
"Oh, Pan. They've been together for just about as long as Goten and me." Bra shrugged and ushered the two girls to the couch.
"And I, Bra." Pan corrected.
"Whatever."
"I have to go." Pan shook her friend's hand off her shoulder and walked towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." She waved a good-bye to her friend. "And, congratulations Marron." Pan's words were shaky as she walked out the door, and as she closed her eyes warm tears stung the insides and trickled down her cheeks. She had just had the worst scare of her life. Had someone shoved a gun to her head and pulled the trigger but found there was no ammunition, she couldn't have been more terrified.
For those sick few seconds she thought Trunks was going to marry that girl. For that pause in time, that couldn't have been more than a minute, she felt her heart being ripped out of her body. She literally had felt the pain. She didn't know that kind of turmoil existed in life. She didn't know that her feelings for Trunks were still so fresh, like pouring salt on an open wound. But hers was already a scab….wasn't it? It shouldn't hurt anymore.
Little did she know, halfway across the world, a certain lavender haired boy had felt that same tremor in his heart. He paused in his work and cupped his hand over the spot, wondering what was happening to him. The pain wasn't as great, but still, for no apparent reason, he'd felt heartbreak for just one second.
"All this because of a promise ring." Pan mumbled to herself as she took into the air, wiping her stained cheeks. A soft, forced laugh escaped her mouth and then everything was okay.
A/N: I'll personally thank you guys in the next chapter. All that reviewed. I really am quite astonished that so many of you like this story. You have no idea what you're doing for my ego. I spent all today writing (after I came from church) and I'm about to go back to it. I'm getting obsessed with this story…it's scary. I'm updating again tomorrow (I'm supposed to anyways…we'll see how that works out).