Dear God,
Chris and Cathy told me that when you die, you go up to Heaven to be with God. But the grandmother says that when you are bad and you sin, you go to Hell.
That scares me because I have been bad and I sinned. I broke some of the grandmother's rules, like not sharing the bathroom with girls and wearing only my nightclothes in the daytime. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
I don't want to go to Hell, God. Not because I'm scared of what the grandmother says about roasting over eternal flames, but because my daddy went to Heaven when he died, and I want to be with my daddy again. I don't remember so much about Daddy, like Chris and Cathy do because they lived with him longer. But I remember a few things like how he held Carrie and me on his lap and read us a story before bed and the funny voices he did for the big bad wolf and the three little pigs. I remember him carrying me on his shoulders and I felt like I was flying. I remember that my daddy loved us all so much. He loved us for real, not like Momma who don't come to see us anymore, and acts weird when she does. I think Momma forgot when we lived with Daddy. She forgot how she used to love us as much as he did.
I know I am going to die soon. I feel real sick, like I'm never going to get better again. And sometimes I'm not so scared to die, because maybe I will go to Heaven and get to be with Daddy again, and get to see the grass and the trees again, that Daddy took up to Heaven with him. But I'm very scared I will go to Hell instead. Please don't send me to Hell, God. I didn't mean to sin or be the Devil's Issue. I didn't mean to hurt Mickey when I squeezed him too hard, it was an accident. I'm sorry I looked at Carrie and Cathy when they weren't wearing any clothes. Please forgive me.
Please don't punish Carrie or Chris or Cathy for being bad either. I know they didn't mean to be. Cathy and Chris, they're like parents to me and Carrie, better than my real Momma is now, and isn't that worth something? I love my sisters and brother and I know they love me and each other. I don't want them to worry about me when I die. I want them to know I am up in Heaven with Daddy and with God, and that we all are watching over them and loving them.
Cathy says it's lunchtime so I got to go downstairs and eat now. Please hear my prayers, God, and take me to Heaven with you when I die.
Cory Dollanganger
September 17, 1960
Chris and Cathy told me that when you die, you go up to Heaven to be with God. But the grandmother says that when you are bad and you sin, you go to Hell.
That scares me because I have been bad and I sinned. I broke some of the grandmother's rules, like not sharing the bathroom with girls and wearing only my nightclothes in the daytime. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
I don't want to go to Hell, God. Not because I'm scared of what the grandmother says about roasting over eternal flames, but because my daddy went to Heaven when he died, and I want to be with my daddy again. I don't remember so much about Daddy, like Chris and Cathy do because they lived with him longer. But I remember a few things like how he held Carrie and me on his lap and read us a story before bed and the funny voices he did for the big bad wolf and the three little pigs. I remember him carrying me on his shoulders and I felt like I was flying. I remember that my daddy loved us all so much. He loved us for real, not like Momma who don't come to see us anymore, and acts weird when she does. I think Momma forgot when we lived with Daddy. She forgot how she used to love us as much as he did.
I know I am going to die soon. I feel real sick, like I'm never going to get better again. And sometimes I'm not so scared to die, because maybe I will go to Heaven and get to be with Daddy again, and get to see the grass and the trees again, that Daddy took up to Heaven with him. But I'm very scared I will go to Hell instead. Please don't send me to Hell, God. I didn't mean to sin or be the Devil's Issue. I didn't mean to hurt Mickey when I squeezed him too hard, it was an accident. I'm sorry I looked at Carrie and Cathy when they weren't wearing any clothes. Please forgive me.
Please don't punish Carrie or Chris or Cathy for being bad either. I know they didn't mean to be. Cathy and Chris, they're like parents to me and Carrie, better than my real Momma is now, and isn't that worth something? I love my sisters and brother and I know they love me and each other. I don't want them to worry about me when I die. I want them to know I am up in Heaven with Daddy and with God, and that we all are watching over them and loving them.
Cathy says it's lunchtime so I got to go downstairs and eat now. Please hear my prayers, God, and take me to Heaven with you when I die.
Cory Dollanganger
September 17, 1960