Dear God,
For more than three years me and my brothers and sister listened to the Grandmother tell us about you, and how you see all, and know all, and will punish the evil we do behind her back. For years we read the Bible and your teachings, and learned about not just about how you punish sinners but your love for all your children. And now I don't think I believe any of it, that you love your children, or maybe that you even exist at all.
How could you take Cory away from me? Cory never did anything bad, not really, and if we made mistakes, that's all they were, mistakes. We never meant to sin, or do evil. Cory was the best brother ever. He was more than a brother, he was a part of me, half of me, and now he's gone and I don't even feel real anymore. How could you take him? How could you be so blind to us children down here, trapped in one room for years and years and not loved by anyone but ourselves? We suffered so much, we are victims of the sins of our others, and here you come to punish us even more, when we don't deserve it!
If there really is a God, if you are real, then I hate you. I hate you for what you done to us. You took Daddy away, so we had to come live here. You made the grandmother believe that our family is full of sinners and she is right by punishing us in your name. You made Momma weak and tempted by money. You let us suffer here, all alone and afraid. And now you took Cory, when he never done anything bad. You took him away from me, and now I have nothing, and I never done anything bad either.
How could you do all that when you are supposed to love your children? You are blind to your children, and cruel. You punish without even looking to see if you should. You are unfair. You are ignorant. And if you are real, I will never forgive you, and never pray to you again, because you don't answer prayers.
Don't know what I'm going to do now, without Cory. Maybe Chris and Cathy will want to leave now, and we'll escape, and maybe find a new home and make it on our own. Maybe we'll survive. But I'll never really be happy. I'll never be whole again, without my Cory.
The Bible says you have a divine plan for everyone. Was this your plan for us? Years of undeserved unhappiness, sickness, pain, and loss? If it was, then congratulations, because your plan has worked.
Carrie Dollanganger
November 4, 1960
For more than three years me and my brothers and sister listened to the Grandmother tell us about you, and how you see all, and know all, and will punish the evil we do behind her back. For years we read the Bible and your teachings, and learned about not just about how you punish sinners but your love for all your children. And now I don't think I believe any of it, that you love your children, or maybe that you even exist at all.
How could you take Cory away from me? Cory never did anything bad, not really, and if we made mistakes, that's all they were, mistakes. We never meant to sin, or do evil. Cory was the best brother ever. He was more than a brother, he was a part of me, half of me, and now he's gone and I don't even feel real anymore. How could you take him? How could you be so blind to us children down here, trapped in one room for years and years and not loved by anyone but ourselves? We suffered so much, we are victims of the sins of our others, and here you come to punish us even more, when we don't deserve it!
If there really is a God, if you are real, then I hate you. I hate you for what you done to us. You took Daddy away, so we had to come live here. You made the grandmother believe that our family is full of sinners and she is right by punishing us in your name. You made Momma weak and tempted by money. You let us suffer here, all alone and afraid. And now you took Cory, when he never done anything bad. You took him away from me, and now I have nothing, and I never done anything bad either.
How could you do all that when you are supposed to love your children? You are blind to your children, and cruel. You punish without even looking to see if you should. You are unfair. You are ignorant. And if you are real, I will never forgive you, and never pray to you again, because you don't answer prayers.
Don't know what I'm going to do now, without Cory. Maybe Chris and Cathy will want to leave now, and we'll escape, and maybe find a new home and make it on our own. Maybe we'll survive. But I'll never really be happy. I'll never be whole again, without my Cory.
The Bible says you have a divine plan for everyone. Was this your plan for us? Years of undeserved unhappiness, sickness, pain, and loss? If it was, then congratulations, because your plan has worked.
Carrie Dollanganger
November 4, 1960