Title: Dementors Don't Suck
Authors: Katie and Whitney
Rating: PG due to excessive use of the word "suck"
Disclaimer: We don't own Dementors. Or Harry Potter for that matter.
They're property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers or someone like that.
Not getting any money. Damn.
DEMENTORS DON'T SUCK
"My name is Desdamona and I suck souls."
Unfortunately, there are many others who are addicted to sucking souls.
Today, we look into the lives of the...Dementors.
We're here today at Soul Suckers Anonymous to get a closer look at the
lives of Dementors. Many people believe the generalizations about these
misunderstood creatures. However, just like humans, some Dementors are
unhappy with their role in life. We're here with one of them.
I asked Desdamona why she's here. This was her answer: "I've heard that
admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I'm here to try
and break my habit."
Some Dementors don't enjoy the fact that people become uncomfortable in
their presence. Donovan, a middle aged Dementor from Glasgow, says he just
wants a shot at a normal life.
"Whenever I try to make new friends, they always scream and faint.
Especially that Harry Potter kid. He's such a wimp. I can't help that cold
aura that surrounds me. I was born with it. And those sucking noises? I
can't help that, that's how I breathe!"
"And I'm never working for that Voldemort maniac again. It's always
'Suck this, suck that!' with him. Never a break."
Unbeknownst to most people, sucking is an addictive habit for Dementors.
Desdemona comments.
"When I enter a room full of souls, it's like they're calling me.
'Suck...suck...suck' they say. I can't resist! I am so ashamed of my lack
of self control."
As most magical folk know, Azkaban is where most Dementors are employed.
Affectionately known as the Soul Emporium, it's like a feeding ground for
the junkies. In Desdamona's opinion, being employed at Azkaban is where it
all starts.
"Everyone else there does it. At first I tried to resist, but it's kind
of hard not to start. Peer pressure and all that."
We ask the community to help get Azkaban clean. Only then can we
attempt to fight the horrible epidemic of soul sucking. In turn, Dementor's
as a species can become truly better citizens. Maybe someday, Dementors
such as Donovan will not be prejudiced against.
"I just want a friend!"
-by Whitney and Katie
Authors: Katie and Whitney
Rating: PG due to excessive use of the word "suck"
Disclaimer: We don't own Dementors. Or Harry Potter for that matter.
They're property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers or someone like that.
Not getting any money. Damn.
DEMENTORS DON'T SUCK
"My name is Desdamona and I suck souls."
Unfortunately, there are many others who are addicted to sucking souls.
Today, we look into the lives of the...Dementors.
We're here today at Soul Suckers Anonymous to get a closer look at the
lives of Dementors. Many people believe the generalizations about these
misunderstood creatures. However, just like humans, some Dementors are
unhappy with their role in life. We're here with one of them.
I asked Desdamona why she's here. This was her answer: "I've heard that
admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I'm here to try
and break my habit."
Some Dementors don't enjoy the fact that people become uncomfortable in
their presence. Donovan, a middle aged Dementor from Glasgow, says he just
wants a shot at a normal life.
"Whenever I try to make new friends, they always scream and faint.
Especially that Harry Potter kid. He's such a wimp. I can't help that cold
aura that surrounds me. I was born with it. And those sucking noises? I
can't help that, that's how I breathe!"
"And I'm never working for that Voldemort maniac again. It's always
'Suck this, suck that!' with him. Never a break."
Unbeknownst to most people, sucking is an addictive habit for Dementors.
Desdemona comments.
"When I enter a room full of souls, it's like they're calling me.
'Suck...suck...suck' they say. I can't resist! I am so ashamed of my lack
of self control."
As most magical folk know, Azkaban is where most Dementors are employed.
Affectionately known as the Soul Emporium, it's like a feeding ground for
the junkies. In Desdamona's opinion, being employed at Azkaban is where it
all starts.
"Everyone else there does it. At first I tried to resist, but it's kind
of hard not to start. Peer pressure and all that."
We ask the community to help get Azkaban clean. Only then can we
attempt to fight the horrible epidemic of soul sucking. In turn, Dementor's
as a species can become truly better citizens. Maybe someday, Dementors
such as Donovan will not be prejudiced against.
"I just want a friend!"
-by Whitney and Katie