**I guess I have to put this in, all the other authors do. I won't say it
again. I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN THIS! End of story. Now please, enjoy
my lovely parody to greatest musical ever: The Phantom Of The Opera.**
Setting: Paris, 18something, Opera House
Raoul: Ah, yes, I remember it well.
Audience: Oooooooooh.
Raoul: Actually, I don't.
Audience: Awwwwwwww.
Raoul: So you know what?
Audience: Ehhhhhhhh?
Raoul: I'll make up an exciting story of what I wish could have happened in my boring, pathetic life.
Audience: Yaaayyyyy!
Raoul: And stop with all the noises, please. It's making me rather frightened.
Audience: (stands up and claps)
Raoul: (sigh)
**
Paris Opera House, many years before the 18something date.
Opera people: (sing a bunch of crap)
Andre: Hi, I'm Andre. I manage this theater.
Firmin: Hi Andre. I also manage this theater.
Andre: Cool!
Firmin: I can't tell what the people are singing.
Andre: Neither can I. (whispers) I'm 90 percent deaf and a graduate of Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading.
Firmin: No way, me too!
(Andre and Firmin proceed to give each other a high five and the Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading brotherly hug.)
Andre: Class of 18something bizarre year!
Firmin: Oh, you were the class that was always insisting on wearing pants on you guys' heads and insisting that was what normal people did.
Andre: We can't help it that we were lousy lip readers! We needed some excuse!
Firmin: Well, I always believed Mrs. Ball worked miracles with my class. She was the best teacher I ever had.
Andre: She was the only teacher you had, you dumbass.
(Carlotta hits a high shrill note)
(Andre and Firmin jump)
Firmin: I think the opera house is tearing itself down.
Andre: I wonder why they sold us this place cheap.
Firmin: You know, it's been scientifically proven that fat opera singers have lungs 3 times the size of cows.
Andre: I wish I knew what they were singing.
Firmin: I have a distinct bunny-like feeling that they're doing we-OH look, they're done. Let's tell them how beautiful they sounded.
**Concert Night**
Carlotta: (screeches more)
(audience covers ears, except for the special graduates from Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading)
Carlotta: (thinks) I wonder if it would hurt to fall over. I'm so tired of this.
(Carlotta promptly throws herself over on the side)
(audience cheers)
Carlotta: (thinks) I knew I was a born comedian.
Meanwhile, Andre and Firmin are running around screaming backstage.
Andre: AAAH! We're DOOMED!
Firmin: Why?
Andre: The performance will end now, and we won't have any time to, you know.
Firmin: (giggles)
(Christine comes in)
Christine: Monseir An-oh. Umm, you're kinda busy right now. (points to hand on Firmin's butt)
Andre: (pulls hand off butt) Ah, it's um, another way of checking pulse I learned at, um, Mrs. Ball's School of-
Christine: DAMN YOU, JUST LET ME SING!
(Andre and Firmin stare)
Andre: What did she say?
Firmin: Beats me. I failed "High Girly Lips II". It was all because of this one kid.
Andre: Wait, I think she's singing,
Firmin: She understood us!
(They dance in a circle)
PLEASE REVIEW! Chapter 2 is only coming if there are more reviews soon! Thaaaank you. :D
Setting: Paris, 18something, Opera House
Raoul: Ah, yes, I remember it well.
Audience: Oooooooooh.
Raoul: Actually, I don't.
Audience: Awwwwwwww.
Raoul: So you know what?
Audience: Ehhhhhhhh?
Raoul: I'll make up an exciting story of what I wish could have happened in my boring, pathetic life.
Audience: Yaaayyyyy!
Raoul: And stop with all the noises, please. It's making me rather frightened.
Audience: (stands up and claps)
Raoul: (sigh)
**
Paris Opera House, many years before the 18something date.
Opera people: (sing a bunch of crap)
Andre: Hi, I'm Andre. I manage this theater.
Firmin: Hi Andre. I also manage this theater.
Andre: Cool!
Firmin: I can't tell what the people are singing.
Andre: Neither can I. (whispers) I'm 90 percent deaf and a graduate of Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading.
Firmin: No way, me too!
(Andre and Firmin proceed to give each other a high five and the Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading brotherly hug.)
Andre: Class of 18something bizarre year!
Firmin: Oh, you were the class that was always insisting on wearing pants on you guys' heads and insisting that was what normal people did.
Andre: We can't help it that we were lousy lip readers! We needed some excuse!
Firmin: Well, I always believed Mrs. Ball worked miracles with my class. She was the best teacher I ever had.
Andre: She was the only teacher you had, you dumbass.
(Carlotta hits a high shrill note)
(Andre and Firmin jump)
Firmin: I think the opera house is tearing itself down.
Andre: I wonder why they sold us this place cheap.
Firmin: You know, it's been scientifically proven that fat opera singers have lungs 3 times the size of cows.
Andre: I wish I knew what they were singing.
Firmin: I have a distinct bunny-like feeling that they're doing we-OH look, they're done. Let's tell them how beautiful they sounded.
**Concert Night**
Carlotta: (screeches more)
(audience covers ears, except for the special graduates from Mrs. Ball's School of Lip Reading)
Carlotta: (thinks) I wonder if it would hurt to fall over. I'm so tired of this.
(Carlotta promptly throws herself over on the side)
(audience cheers)
Carlotta: (thinks) I knew I was a born comedian.
Meanwhile, Andre and Firmin are running around screaming backstage.
Andre: AAAH! We're DOOMED!
Firmin: Why?
Andre: The performance will end now, and we won't have any time to, you know.
Firmin: (giggles)
(Christine comes in)
Christine: Monseir An-oh. Umm, you're kinda busy right now. (points to hand on Firmin's butt)
Andre: (pulls hand off butt) Ah, it's um, another way of checking pulse I learned at, um, Mrs. Ball's School of-
Christine: DAMN YOU, JUST LET ME SING!
(Andre and Firmin stare)
Andre: What did she say?
Firmin: Beats me. I failed "High Girly Lips II". It was all because of this one kid.
Andre: Wait, I think she's singing,
Firmin: She understood us!
(They dance in a circle)
PLEASE REVIEW! Chapter 2 is only coming if there are more reviews soon! Thaaaank you. :D