Save Yourself, Chapter Sixteen
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Uhh... I'm debating on two titles for the chapter at the moment... okay, I've decided. The other one was "Bed of Destiny"... cheesy. Shush!! I know it sucks :o) Anyway. School starts on Monday... I ain't looking forward to it anymore. The realization that I'm gonna have to be forced back into that particular hellhole isn't sitting well with me anymore.
*blinks* *blinks* *blinks* DRACO CHAPTER *blinks* *blinks* *blinks*
Yeah... His POV, for a change. It's established in the first sentence, so I'm quite sure you won't miss it. *grin*
Aimée
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I've always had it easy as the son of Lucius Malfoy; I'm not afraid to admit that, to make my accomplishments perhaps diminish in certain eyes. My name has given me more privileges than my own achievements have, but not even the legendary Malfoy heritage could prepare me for what was coming.
It was Christmas night, and she and I could see the snow falling down onto the grounds through the windows, soft and majestic in the light of the moon. For any other newlyweds, the night would have been perfect to finalize their vows, their bonds, their love; for the two—the three—of us, however, it was a night of simply reflection.
She was devastated by the loss of her freedoms; I was ecstatic for the life, the promise, the possibilities she held within her womb. Even though he was only a few months in the making—she and I had calculated it to almost the exact week, over two months ago—I already felt the bond I was sure would stay with me for the rest of my life and perhaps beyond.
For a Malfoy, family always came first—no matter what the circumstances. Lucius Malfoy was known as cruel, vicious, and ambitious to a fault in the public eye; I, however, knew a great man worthy of so many things I could never say. He taught me things only a father could teach a son, told me the secrets I would need in order to live a life worth living—one of those lessons was to never abandon family, to always remain loyal, even if love wasn't a factor. My mother was never happy with her marriage—arranged, of course—to my father, but in spite of their differences, she stood by him through thick and thin. She was a strong woman, although not the strongest I've known.
The strongest was lying next to me, her dark eyes rimmed with red and her hand set over my heart. She had been through so much in the past few months, I didn't believe even she knew the amount of trauma inflicted on her soul. No longer did she have the home she grew up in, the family she loved, although hated during the appropriate moments; the fire in her eyes had died out for far too long after her father—her murderous, traitorous father—had destroyed the only life she knew. It was a miracle that the fire within her had returned, albeit painfully slow.
So many students had been caught up in their own side of the war between the wizards that they failed to see the pain within the loved ones their victims had left behind. If Albus Dumbledore—if Arthur Weasley—if Harry Potter could see the pain that flowed through my wife's body… If Voldemort—if my father—if her father could only feel the sorrow, the grief, and the guilt of surviving… perhaps there would be no war. Perhaps they would realize the world is not comprised of black and white, rather shades of gray we all sift through day after day.
As I lay there that night, my wife curled up next to me with tears leaking down her pale cheeks, her hand over my heart as it beat, supplying life to the rest of my body, I knew I would never give my life up for anything—not power, not fame, nothing. Our three hearts beat together as we lay there, she and I both tangled in the emotions and dreams of what was to come.
I knew telling my parents of our son would be difficult at first, but they would soon accept and perhaps even welcome the thought. Age was of no matter in the Malfoy Manor; my own mother was a mere sixteen years older than me, something I knew she regretted—although not fully—every day. She had never had the opportunity to become a fully licensed witch, and unbeknownst to my wife, Mother would never let her go through the same fate she experienced. She wasn't even thirty-five years old, against my father's forty-six, and would gladly take up responsibility for another child, one in which she would be better equipped and experienced to take care of.
I knew my wife would, when the time came, forgive the actions of my past. It took me four years to finally realize exactly how much I loved her, and the moment she loved me back, she held my love, my faith, and my soul in her hand. I was hers and she was mine; it was never and would never be any different.
"I love you," I whispered softly, running one smooth finger down her cheek and across her lips. She simply looked up at me, her eyes filled with so many emotions I couldn't even detect one. "Never forget that."
"I promise I won't." Her voice was choked and strained, yet I knew her words to be sincere. "I love you as well, no matter what happens."
"I know," I sighed, kissing her forehead gently. She finally closed her eyes and curled up against me, and with a heavy sigh, slipped into the world of dreams, the one place I knew could make her truly happy.
She was my life; my world; my heart; my soul; my destiny. I would never forget that.
---
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be
I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And i'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God wish won't you
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these caluses off me one more time
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door
And listen to you breathing
Its where I wanna be, yeah
Oh i don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting for
The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
La da da da...
Cause i just wanna be here now
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be *
*Lifehouse, Breathing
(Any of you who read my other stuff know I'm a song freak... there's only a few this story though, I promise.)
---
Geniusgirl: There ya go! A little look into the head of Malfoy around Pansy. Mind you, he isn't always like that... just at that particular time *grin* He'll get bitchy in a chapter or three. Just gotta wait until the right time... It's sappy, isn't it? *sigh* I try so damned hard to make a god damned original f'cking story and it ends up sappy. Aye. I should go slam my head up against a redwood or something. *grin* Yeah, Pansy wasn't supposed to notice any of the details. I've written... *counts* At least two, possibly three or four wizarding weddings, so I know how they go... or at least how they go in my little world. :o) Lily/Snape, Harry/Cassandra *shudder*, Remus/Narcissa... there's one other I'm missing, but I can't quite put my finger on it at this point in time. Ah! Yes. Of course... Lily/James. I'm a f'cking nutcase, sorry. *G* Pansy/Draco makes it five, unless I'm missing one. Am I? I don't remember. There'll be at least another one in this story... which you'll see... later. At the end, I'd imagine. Hmm...
Jessica: Yeah, I know, this one's short too! I'm sorry! I couldn't really think of anything else for this chapter.
Kiki-kins: Nah, I don't bother with details that much unless they're important. I find frivolous details annoying, especially when described for paragraphs... *grin* So I just avoid writing them. I'm glad you like the story so far! And yes, Pansy getting pregnant was rather... obvious, shall I say? The twist that's coming isn't though, at least as far as I can tell.
Melinda Malfoy: Awesome, did you have fun on your vacation? Where'd you go? I want details! *grin* Thanks again. :o)
Tuppence: Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far. I have to ask though, could you send me the links to other Pansy/Draco stories? I've never actually read one... or at least one that made sense and had them as the main characters. *shrug* ExemplarPiaculum@hotmail.com Thanks!
---
Uhh... I'm debating on two titles for the chapter at the moment... okay, I've decided. The other one was "Bed of Destiny"... cheesy. Shush!! I know it sucks :o) Anyway. School starts on Monday... I ain't looking forward to it anymore. The realization that I'm gonna have to be forced back into that particular hellhole isn't sitting well with me anymore.
*blinks* *blinks* *blinks* DRACO CHAPTER *blinks* *blinks* *blinks*
Yeah... His POV, for a change. It's established in the first sentence, so I'm quite sure you won't miss it. *grin*
Aimée
---
I've always had it easy as the son of Lucius Malfoy; I'm not afraid to admit that, to make my accomplishments perhaps diminish in certain eyes. My name has given me more privileges than my own achievements have, but not even the legendary Malfoy heritage could prepare me for what was coming.
It was Christmas night, and she and I could see the snow falling down onto the grounds through the windows, soft and majestic in the light of the moon. For any other newlyweds, the night would have been perfect to finalize their vows, their bonds, their love; for the two—the three—of us, however, it was a night of simply reflection.
She was devastated by the loss of her freedoms; I was ecstatic for the life, the promise, the possibilities she held within her womb. Even though he was only a few months in the making—she and I had calculated it to almost the exact week, over two months ago—I already felt the bond I was sure would stay with me for the rest of my life and perhaps beyond.
For a Malfoy, family always came first—no matter what the circumstances. Lucius Malfoy was known as cruel, vicious, and ambitious to a fault in the public eye; I, however, knew a great man worthy of so many things I could never say. He taught me things only a father could teach a son, told me the secrets I would need in order to live a life worth living—one of those lessons was to never abandon family, to always remain loyal, even if love wasn't a factor. My mother was never happy with her marriage—arranged, of course—to my father, but in spite of their differences, she stood by him through thick and thin. She was a strong woman, although not the strongest I've known.
The strongest was lying next to me, her dark eyes rimmed with red and her hand set over my heart. She had been through so much in the past few months, I didn't believe even she knew the amount of trauma inflicted on her soul. No longer did she have the home she grew up in, the family she loved, although hated during the appropriate moments; the fire in her eyes had died out for far too long after her father—her murderous, traitorous father—had destroyed the only life she knew. It was a miracle that the fire within her had returned, albeit painfully slow.
So many students had been caught up in their own side of the war between the wizards that they failed to see the pain within the loved ones their victims had left behind. If Albus Dumbledore—if Arthur Weasley—if Harry Potter could see the pain that flowed through my wife's body… If Voldemort—if my father—if her father could only feel the sorrow, the grief, and the guilt of surviving… perhaps there would be no war. Perhaps they would realize the world is not comprised of black and white, rather shades of gray we all sift through day after day.
As I lay there that night, my wife curled up next to me with tears leaking down her pale cheeks, her hand over my heart as it beat, supplying life to the rest of my body, I knew I would never give my life up for anything—not power, not fame, nothing. Our three hearts beat together as we lay there, she and I both tangled in the emotions and dreams of what was to come.
I knew telling my parents of our son would be difficult at first, but they would soon accept and perhaps even welcome the thought. Age was of no matter in the Malfoy Manor; my own mother was a mere sixteen years older than me, something I knew she regretted—although not fully—every day. She had never had the opportunity to become a fully licensed witch, and unbeknownst to my wife, Mother would never let her go through the same fate she experienced. She wasn't even thirty-five years old, against my father's forty-six, and would gladly take up responsibility for another child, one in which she would be better equipped and experienced to take care of.
I knew my wife would, when the time came, forgive the actions of my past. It took me four years to finally realize exactly how much I loved her, and the moment she loved me back, she held my love, my faith, and my soul in her hand. I was hers and she was mine; it was never and would never be any different.
"I love you," I whispered softly, running one smooth finger down her cheek and across her lips. She simply looked up at me, her eyes filled with so many emotions I couldn't even detect one. "Never forget that."
"I promise I won't." Her voice was choked and strained, yet I knew her words to be sincere. "I love you as well, no matter what happens."
"I know," I sighed, kissing her forehead gently. She finally closed her eyes and curled up against me, and with a heavy sigh, slipped into the world of dreams, the one place I knew could make her truly happy.
She was my life; my world; my heart; my soul; my destiny. I would never forget that.
---
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be
I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And i'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God wish won't you
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these caluses off me one more time
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door
And listen to you breathing
Its where I wanna be, yeah
Oh i don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting for
The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
La da da da...
Cause i just wanna be here now
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be *
*Lifehouse, Breathing
(Any of you who read my other stuff know I'm a song freak... there's only a few this story though, I promise.)
---
Geniusgirl: There ya go! A little look into the head of Malfoy around Pansy. Mind you, he isn't always like that... just at that particular time *grin* He'll get bitchy in a chapter or three. Just gotta wait until the right time... It's sappy, isn't it? *sigh* I try so damned hard to make a god damned original f'cking story and it ends up sappy. Aye. I should go slam my head up against a redwood or something. *grin* Yeah, Pansy wasn't supposed to notice any of the details. I've written... *counts* At least two, possibly three or four wizarding weddings, so I know how they go... or at least how they go in my little world. :o) Lily/Snape, Harry/Cassandra *shudder*, Remus/Narcissa... there's one other I'm missing, but I can't quite put my finger on it at this point in time. Ah! Yes. Of course... Lily/James. I'm a f'cking nutcase, sorry. *G* Pansy/Draco makes it five, unless I'm missing one. Am I? I don't remember. There'll be at least another one in this story... which you'll see... later. At the end, I'd imagine. Hmm...
Jessica: Yeah, I know, this one's short too! I'm sorry! I couldn't really think of anything else for this chapter.
Kiki-kins: Nah, I don't bother with details that much unless they're important. I find frivolous details annoying, especially when described for paragraphs... *grin* So I just avoid writing them. I'm glad you like the story so far! And yes, Pansy getting pregnant was rather... obvious, shall I say? The twist that's coming isn't though, at least as far as I can tell.
Melinda Malfoy: Awesome, did you have fun on your vacation? Where'd you go? I want details! *grin* Thanks again. :o)
Tuppence: Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far. I have to ask though, could you send me the links to other Pansy/Draco stories? I've never actually read one... or at least one that made sense and had them as the main characters. *shrug* ExemplarPiaculum@hotmail.com Thanks!