What do you do when your son begs to be a secret agent? That doesn't seem like the normal question, but it's still one I had to face. I tried to say no, but he looked at me with those determined eyes. Those eyes that make him look like the mirror image of Jim. How could I say no when I realized I wasn't really his father? Not that I didn't raise him and feed him and clothe him and love him, but I was always secretly afraid he would reject me. I was afraid he would throw the fact that I wasn't really his father in my face, that he would run away and never come back. I knew that was stupid, Josh loved me, but those irrational fears plagued me every night, and when he asked to become a secret agent I couldn't refuse for long. I tried, but my fears were all thrown back at me at once. And I accepted. Now I know that that boy is a Godsend, but I must go through a whole bottle of Maalox each time he has a mission. I'm still surprised I haven't burned a hole the size of my head right through my stomach lining. It's hard, but what do you do when your son begs to be a secret agent?