Diversion:

A DBZ AU

Chapter II: Deception

Goku and the others landed at Kame house. Goku released all five capsules, causing 125 fresh dead bodies to materialize. Buruma retched and vomited into the sea.

"So…what's the plan, Goku?" asked Buruma

Goku lifted a dead body by the neck "This!" he blasted a big hole through it's chest and then broke the neck. He dropped it into a new pile "One down, 124 to go!"

Buruma, Piccolo, Kuririn, and Roshi stared at Goku with open mouthed faces of shock

Goku stared blankly "Um…isn't anyone gonna help?"

"Are you…feeling all right Goku?" asked Kuririn

"Come on, it's gotta look like I killed em!"

"Oh! Right!" Piccolo and Kuririn said in unison

Piccolo gulped as he picked up four bodies and impaled them with a great "MAZENKOU!". Kuririn used a Kamehameha to blow the heads off five more. The next twenty, Goku stuck his hands through their abdomens, then he broke all the limbs on them. Goku told Kuririn to "go long". Kuririn flew away from the island as Goku threw a dead body to him; he used a Kienzen as a baseball bat and gouged a crevice in the cadaver's chest and abdomen. Nine more were crushed into balls and used in short volleyball games between Goku and Piccolo, each ending in the balls being unfolded, revealing the breaks, lacerations, burns and bruises.

Piccolo and Goku helped each other rip one in half from left to right. Goku got the half with the most ribs "Ha! I won!"

"Damn!"

"I play winner" said Kuririn

Goku, Piccolo, and Kuririn wrecked eleven more in this fashion. Thirty more were blasted with ki and turned into blackened skeletons. Eighteen were clod danced into a mass of shredded flesh and bone. That made 100. They were put into one pile. The final twenty-five were put into another pile.

"All right, great job you guys!" said Goku; he became his normal, silly self "Now…Let's all take baths and get the human goo off us! Yuck!"

"I agree!" cried Kuririn

"I can use a waterfall" said Piccolo

"I gotta call Chichi" said Goku; he ran in to get a phone.

~~On the Phone~~

Goku: Hi Chichi!

Chichi: Hi, Goku-sa! How is everyone?

Goku: They're fine! Um listen…I need you to capsulize enough clothes for a year and get over here to Kame House.

Chichi: Goku…what is going on?

Goku: I'll explain when you arrive.

Chichi: all right…see ya later!

Goku: Bye!

~~Kame House~~

****

…the next day…

Buruma gave Goku a large capsule case "Here…Capsule houses, Capsule Motorcycles, Capsule Jet-copter, a Capsule microwave, Capsules to store souvenirs, capsules full of crock pots of Mount Paozu Stew, and that's all."

"Thanks, Buruma" said Goku "Now Piccolo, you remember your part?"

"Yes." said Piccolo "I will train your boy while you are away. As much as it sickens me to assist you…"

Chichi got in piccolo's face "You had better make sure he does his studies!" she shoved books into Piccolo's arms "Algebra, History, anthropology, biology, geology,--"

Piccolo snapped "LISTEN LADY! IF GOHAN DOESN'T TRAIN TO FIGHT THERE WONT BE VERY MANY SCHOOLS HE CAN GET INTO, BECAUSD ETHEY WILL BE ALL GONE!"

Chichi took her books back and fell backward "a-all right…when he gets back...he…he can… study then…"

It was then that Radditzu arrived, with Gohan held by his shirt.

"Okassan!" cried Gohan; he jumped into his mother's arms

"Gohan-chan! Was that man mean to you?" cried Chichi

Gohan fidgeted "Um…he locked me in his ship because I was crying so much" chichi and Goku's brows furrowed "But after I stopped crying, he let me come out and he cooked me some food! Rack of Deer! He can be very nice if you don't get him angry."

Radditzu laid his hand out "I am a man of my word-" he began to count the dead bodies "-and so are you it seems. Well done! Twenty-five over the mark"

"Actually, my partners in arms got those ones." said Goku "Piccolo and Kuririn."

Radditzu laughed "So, you are going to join me, eh?"

"Yes, but I have some conditions" said Goku

"What do you want?"

"I want my son to be allowed to stay here." said Goku "If the earth is going to be destroyed in a year…I want him to be able to say goodbye to it…"

"Sure, why not. Anything else?"

"I want to know more about my race…" said Goku

"Granted." Radditzu pressed a button to summon a second space pod from the orbit, and also his own. "That one is yours. It's a newer model than mine, you lucky duck. The controls are simple, even you could figure them out. If not, it's set to auto Pilot."

Chichi hugged Goku "Goku sa…I'll miss you…"

"I know Chichi…I'm gonna miss you too…" he focused **your mount Paozu Stew, and your pictures will keep me happy**

Radditzu noticed strange wavelengths in his Scouter "Huh? Well! You're more Saiya-jin than I thought! Tell me Kakkarot, did you and her bite each other's necks?"

"Yeah!" Said Goku "On our wedding night while we-" he remembered Gohan was in the area "well, you know."

Radditzu explained the concept of Saiya-jin bonds

**Well, Chi…now we know why we can do this…**

**Goodbye…Goku…I love you…**

Gohan hugged his father and they said their goodbyes. Goku sat inside his space pod and closed the door. Radditzu repeated this action. The two pods flew away, and left the earth's Atmosphere.

"Wow…" said Goku "I've never seen space before…it's beautiful!"

A mechanical voice rang "Now Heading for Planet Suet. You will now enter hyper sleep to make the journey seem as short as possible." A stasis system wrapped around Goku. He fell asleep as the pods sped off….

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What do u think? Read and Review, but be honest. No flames. Constructive criticism is always a good thing. Brownie points to anyone who points out grammatical errors.

Next time: Goku meets his fellow Saiya-jin. Training begins; all Gohan has to do is survive.

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