Alive 1/1 by Rhasa
"Oh God. Josh. I'm so sorry-" she was backing away from him, rapidly retreating to the relative safety of her living room.
"Donna-"
"I didn't mean to-" She stumbled trying to explain as she backed behind the sofa - putting it between her and him, using it as a barrier.
"Donna, it's okay-" He took three steps towards her.
"I just thought you were... I saw the footage... of the plane... and I thought... oh God, Josh." She tried hard not to let the tears that had been falling continuously for the past few hours slip once more.
"Donna, it's okay," He said still approaching.
"They said there were no survivors-"
"I know-" he whispered.
"I saw the wreckage... the fire... burnt bodies... it's on all the channels... I thought... I thought you were dead..."
The images that had invaded Donna's world for the past four hours suddenly came back to her once more in a rush... The Breaking News story she just happened to catch... Leo's phone call to her acknowledging it was indeed Josh's plane - the plane *she* had booked him on - and that they were still waiting for word.... Her panic cries to the Deputy Chief of Staff that it was reported that all lives on board were lost... His whisper that the President and First Lady and all the staff were praying - "For a miracle," she had replied. Leo had told her that he was coming over with Margaret and that Donna should not be alone. She had lied to him and told him that she had someone with her who was taking care of her and that she would be grateful if he stayed at the White House and used his connections to find word of Josh. Truth was, she had not stopped shaking since seeing the bulletin and there was no way she wanted to fall apart in front of her boss's boss.
She was still shaking, from shock and relief mostly. "I thought you were dead," she whispered once more.
"I understand. Here sit down." Somehow he had made it to her side without her really seeing him do it. He gently took hold of her hand and guided her to the sofa.
"You're not a ghost are you? Come to haunt me?" She looked up at him with huge eyes.
He chuckled. "No, Donna." He grasped his hand in his and brought it up to his face. "I'm real. See?"
She took a moment to let her sense of touch confirm what her eyes had been telling her. His jaw was rough from stubble, it's abrasions a welcome sensation to Donna's fingertips. She ran the pads of her thumbs over his brow and then allowed them to skim the outline of his full bottom lip, the one that was still a little swollen from the frantic and quite unexpected kiss they had shared moments before. She allowed her hands to travel further down and felt the sudden rise and fall of his Adam's apple as he swallowed nervously from her touch.
She finally sighed - a heavy sigh.
It was true.
She wasn't crazy.
He was alive.
"I'm alive." He whispered, as if reading the fleeing doubt in her mind.
"But how? The news said-"
"I missed my flight." He cut her off as he slid next to her.
"You missed your flight?" she asked incredulously.
"Yeah."
"You missed your flight." She said a little louder trying to process the words.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Damn watch."
"You missed your flight because of your watch?"
"Yeah."
"That watch sucks, Josh," she whispered with a I-told-you-so air.
"I know."
"I've been telling you to get a new one."
"I know."
"And because you never listen to me, you're here now, alive, sitting in my living room, alive, not dead, not a victim of a mid air disaster as they're calling it."
"Yeah."
"Oh Josh." She broke into a fit of sobs again.
"It's okay," he said as he gathered her in his arms and rested her head against his shoulder."
Suddenly she broke from his embrace and punched him in the arm. "Don't ever scare me like that again."
"What? I didn't deliberately-"
"I mean it, Josh. Don't ever pull something like this again. This is twice now. You scared the hell out of me. You'll never know just how much you scared me."
"I think I have a pretty good idea judging by how you said hello to me when you opened the door," he said remembering back to the events that had occurred in what already seemed like a lifetime ago...
Josh had only learnt of the fate of his original flight once he was in a cab on his way home from the driver making small talk. It all seemed surreal. That could've been me, he thought. Shit, that should've been me. He was trying to get his head around it until to driver said something that snapped Josh out of his own self-concern. "I feel damn sorry for the relatives and friends at the airport, or those at home waiting for their loved ones to arrive. Wondering why Daddy's late from his business trip. Or why there suddenly seems to be so many airport personnel around them. I can't imagine what those poor folks are feeling right now. I guess your family will be pleased to know you're okay, hey?"
Josh had immediately grabbed his cell and pushed speed dial one. Damn, Donna's phone was busy. He tried a few more times in succession feeling a sense of panic rise in him with each failed attempt to reach her. "She doesn't know I wasn't on that flight. No one knows," he whispered to himself. He changed his destination address with the driver and asked him to turn on the radio, to the news station.
He had arrived at her door a little out of breath. He wondered just what he was doing. He should call CJ. She's the first call.. Hell, he should call Leo. But no. He had to see Donna first.
He didn't really know what to expect when she opened the door. He was preparing to say something Josh-like such as "Reports of my death have been grossly exaggerated," but he stopped short with one look at her. Her face was deathly pale and yet also red and flushed from hours of crying. Her hair was dishevelled, her normal perfectly presented self was anything but. He had never seen her in such a state. He barely registered her eyes growing extremely wide before she reached out and took him into a fierce embrace, her hands clutching at his jacket as she had sobbed quietly into his chest. They hadn't spoken as she moved her hands to gently caress his back. They stood there, in her doorway, slightly swaying with each other, as her cries eventually softened. He savoured the heat that was radiating off her body. He sighed into her hair as he remembered what the cab driver had said. I feel damn sorry for the relatives and friends at the airport, or those at home waiting for their loved ones to arrive. And he thought to himself, "This is what coming *home* feels like."
He'll never know if Donna could indeed read his thoughts, but just at that moment she gently pulled back from him and took his face in her hands, raising herself up to him, he cringed as a silent tear fell down her cheek. He used his thumb to gently brush it away as she closed the distance between them and brought her lips to his.
It was a kiss that was full of desperation and relief. A kiss that was full of undeniable passion. Electricity coursed through his veins from the very first moment their lips touched. She had managed to ignite a spark deep within him that surged throughout his body, causing him to feel light- headed and sway on his feet. His heart pounded with excitement, a nervousness settled in his stomach, the likes of which he hadn't felt since he was a teenager on the first few dates with a new girl. He could never fully explain how she managed to suck the life right out of him while at the same time fill his soul with such passion. He clutched at her in a desperation that on some level scared him. His hands burrowed deep into her hair, his tongue plunged and plundered her mouth. At another time perhaps he would have considered his response to her to be too forceful, but for now it wasn't enough.
Josh didn't know how long it had lasted. It had seemed to go on for an eternity and yet at the same time it didn't go on nearly long enough for his liking. As abruptly as their kiss began it ended. Her eyes once again wide as she drew back from him...
"I was in shock," she said sniffling while simultaneously turning a deep shade of red, her words bringing him back to the present.
"I know. But not as much shock as I was when I was greeted with a lip-lock like that," he said with a grin on his face.
"I've been through hell these past few hours."
"I know," he said somewhat sympathetically.
"And I kissed you because...... well, because I wasn't thinking clearly. I was overcome with emotion." She said sitting up straight. "I was relieved," she announced emphatically, as a cheesy grin broke out on his face. "And grateful," she said with conviction.
His grin grew wider, into an ear splitting one. His look of smugness suddenly unnerved her and her fogged -up brain scrambled to find some rational explanation for her recent actions." I was merely showing.... the relief and gratitude that...ahhh... an assistant shows her boss... when she is in shock and finds out that her boss whom she'd believed had been... tragically killed earlier in the evening was in fact alive and... and... and standing in her doorway at three in the morning..."
"Well I gotta tell you, Donna, if all assistants show gratitude for their boss the way you did just a while back, I'll be very very worried the next time the President arranges for a a DVD player upgrade for Charlie."
His attempt at humour made her angry.
"I didn't hear you complaining."
"I wasn't. I'm- I'm not."
She looked down at her hands, Josh wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or something else she was feeling.
"Not like I could have complained though," he said. "The way you wrapped your tongue around mine like that," he added with a mischievous grin.
"Josh!"
"Well, I'm just saying it was an amazing kiss, that's all."
"Josh-"
"One that I wouldn't mind repeating."
"What?"
"What, what?" he asked, playing dumb.
"You wouldn't mind repeating it?" she asked in a squeaky voice.
"It's supposed to be a compliment, Donna."
"I... I don't... I don't feel-" she began awkwardly but he cut her off abruptly before she could voice the words he dreaded to hear.
She was desperately trying to save them from a fate that she felt she wasn't ready to face - a fate that she wasn't even sure Josh had ever considered let alone wanted.
"You don't feel that way about me," he finished for her.
"I care for you, Josh," she said, sounding a little too unsure of herself than she would have liked. "But..."
"But you care for me as any assistant would. You feel close to me in a professional-assistant/ boss-kind-of-way. My well-being reflects on you as a senior White House Assistant, and that, underlying our working relationship is a personal regard for one another that is completely justifiable, even though it is closer than other professionals may enjoy, purely because of the nature of our jobs as White House Staffers, the long hours we spend together and the confidences we share," he offered her in a dejected tone as his heart sank..
She looked at him, and sighed.
"No. That's not what I was going to say. I don't feel we should be repeating a kiss like that, an amazing kiss as it was, like that, since you are still involved with Amy. And I care for you, Josh, but I could never be involved with someone who is already involved with someone else. I'm not that kind of person. I'm entirely to blame for that kiss. I was in shock. I wasn't thinking. You scared me and I was just so glad to have you back. But it doesn't have to be anything more than that."
"I don't think you're entirely to blame for that kiss - that amazing, definitely gonna be repeated kiss. I think I participated just a little," he grinned
"Well, maybe, a little." She returned his grin. " But that doesn't clear up the situation with Amy. We have to think about this. You say you want to repeat it, but what then? You have a girlfriend, Josh."
"You don't care about the boss/assistant thing?"
"Well yeah, of course. I mean that's something we would have to deal with as well. But that's not nearly as scary as a betrayed girlfriend bent of revenge who has influence in high places and who could damage not only you and me but this administration."
"Wow."
"What?" she asked.
"I never knew you were *that* afraid of Amy."
"I'm not afraid of her."
"That's okay. I'm afraid of her too," he chuckled.
"Then why go out with her?"
"She keeps me on my toes. She keeps my guard up. Going out with her is like dating and working at the same time. She makes me paranoid and defensive and I have to justify everything I do to her. It's... It's kind of like dating Sam... or Toby, but with sex."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe you and Sam or Toby should just get it on. It could be a lot easier on all of us."
"I can't believe I'm, having a conversation about *getting it on* with Sam."
"Speaking of which... have you called him? Does anyone else know you're back from the dead?"
"No. You were my first call. I couldn't reach you so I came straight here. I only found out on the way home from the airport-"
"Oh God, Josh. I was on the phone to Leo. You have to call him. You have to call him now."
"Okay." He reached for his cell once more and began to dial, he was stopped when Donna gently laid her hand over his.
"I was your first call?" she asked with tears glistening in her eyes again.
"Yeah," he whispered as she smiled. "And you'll always will be from now on."
"Oh, Josh," she said as she hugged him again.
THE END
"Oh God. Josh. I'm so sorry-" she was backing away from him, rapidly retreating to the relative safety of her living room.
"Donna-"
"I didn't mean to-" She stumbled trying to explain as she backed behind the sofa - putting it between her and him, using it as a barrier.
"Donna, it's okay-" He took three steps towards her.
"I just thought you were... I saw the footage... of the plane... and I thought... oh God, Josh." She tried hard not to let the tears that had been falling continuously for the past few hours slip once more.
"Donna, it's okay," He said still approaching.
"They said there were no survivors-"
"I know-" he whispered.
"I saw the wreckage... the fire... burnt bodies... it's on all the channels... I thought... I thought you were dead..."
The images that had invaded Donna's world for the past four hours suddenly came back to her once more in a rush... The Breaking News story she just happened to catch... Leo's phone call to her acknowledging it was indeed Josh's plane - the plane *she* had booked him on - and that they were still waiting for word.... Her panic cries to the Deputy Chief of Staff that it was reported that all lives on board were lost... His whisper that the President and First Lady and all the staff were praying - "For a miracle," she had replied. Leo had told her that he was coming over with Margaret and that Donna should not be alone. She had lied to him and told him that she had someone with her who was taking care of her and that she would be grateful if he stayed at the White House and used his connections to find word of Josh. Truth was, she had not stopped shaking since seeing the bulletin and there was no way she wanted to fall apart in front of her boss's boss.
She was still shaking, from shock and relief mostly. "I thought you were dead," she whispered once more.
"I understand. Here sit down." Somehow he had made it to her side without her really seeing him do it. He gently took hold of her hand and guided her to the sofa.
"You're not a ghost are you? Come to haunt me?" She looked up at him with huge eyes.
He chuckled. "No, Donna." He grasped his hand in his and brought it up to his face. "I'm real. See?"
She took a moment to let her sense of touch confirm what her eyes had been telling her. His jaw was rough from stubble, it's abrasions a welcome sensation to Donna's fingertips. She ran the pads of her thumbs over his brow and then allowed them to skim the outline of his full bottom lip, the one that was still a little swollen from the frantic and quite unexpected kiss they had shared moments before. She allowed her hands to travel further down and felt the sudden rise and fall of his Adam's apple as he swallowed nervously from her touch.
She finally sighed - a heavy sigh.
It was true.
She wasn't crazy.
He was alive.
"I'm alive." He whispered, as if reading the fleeing doubt in her mind.
"But how? The news said-"
"I missed my flight." He cut her off as he slid next to her.
"You missed your flight?" she asked incredulously.
"Yeah."
"You missed your flight." She said a little louder trying to process the words.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Damn watch."
"You missed your flight because of your watch?"
"Yeah."
"That watch sucks, Josh," she whispered with a I-told-you-so air.
"I know."
"I've been telling you to get a new one."
"I know."
"And because you never listen to me, you're here now, alive, sitting in my living room, alive, not dead, not a victim of a mid air disaster as they're calling it."
"Yeah."
"Oh Josh." She broke into a fit of sobs again.
"It's okay," he said as he gathered her in his arms and rested her head against his shoulder."
Suddenly she broke from his embrace and punched him in the arm. "Don't ever scare me like that again."
"What? I didn't deliberately-"
"I mean it, Josh. Don't ever pull something like this again. This is twice now. You scared the hell out of me. You'll never know just how much you scared me."
"I think I have a pretty good idea judging by how you said hello to me when you opened the door," he said remembering back to the events that had occurred in what already seemed like a lifetime ago...
Josh had only learnt of the fate of his original flight once he was in a cab on his way home from the driver making small talk. It all seemed surreal. That could've been me, he thought. Shit, that should've been me. He was trying to get his head around it until to driver said something that snapped Josh out of his own self-concern. "I feel damn sorry for the relatives and friends at the airport, or those at home waiting for their loved ones to arrive. Wondering why Daddy's late from his business trip. Or why there suddenly seems to be so many airport personnel around them. I can't imagine what those poor folks are feeling right now. I guess your family will be pleased to know you're okay, hey?"
Josh had immediately grabbed his cell and pushed speed dial one. Damn, Donna's phone was busy. He tried a few more times in succession feeling a sense of panic rise in him with each failed attempt to reach her. "She doesn't know I wasn't on that flight. No one knows," he whispered to himself. He changed his destination address with the driver and asked him to turn on the radio, to the news station.
He had arrived at her door a little out of breath. He wondered just what he was doing. He should call CJ. She's the first call.. Hell, he should call Leo. But no. He had to see Donna first.
He didn't really know what to expect when she opened the door. He was preparing to say something Josh-like such as "Reports of my death have been grossly exaggerated," but he stopped short with one look at her. Her face was deathly pale and yet also red and flushed from hours of crying. Her hair was dishevelled, her normal perfectly presented self was anything but. He had never seen her in such a state. He barely registered her eyes growing extremely wide before she reached out and took him into a fierce embrace, her hands clutching at his jacket as she had sobbed quietly into his chest. They hadn't spoken as she moved her hands to gently caress his back. They stood there, in her doorway, slightly swaying with each other, as her cries eventually softened. He savoured the heat that was radiating off her body. He sighed into her hair as he remembered what the cab driver had said. I feel damn sorry for the relatives and friends at the airport, or those at home waiting for their loved ones to arrive. And he thought to himself, "This is what coming *home* feels like."
He'll never know if Donna could indeed read his thoughts, but just at that moment she gently pulled back from him and took his face in her hands, raising herself up to him, he cringed as a silent tear fell down her cheek. He used his thumb to gently brush it away as she closed the distance between them and brought her lips to his.
It was a kiss that was full of desperation and relief. A kiss that was full of undeniable passion. Electricity coursed through his veins from the very first moment their lips touched. She had managed to ignite a spark deep within him that surged throughout his body, causing him to feel light- headed and sway on his feet. His heart pounded with excitement, a nervousness settled in his stomach, the likes of which he hadn't felt since he was a teenager on the first few dates with a new girl. He could never fully explain how she managed to suck the life right out of him while at the same time fill his soul with such passion. He clutched at her in a desperation that on some level scared him. His hands burrowed deep into her hair, his tongue plunged and plundered her mouth. At another time perhaps he would have considered his response to her to be too forceful, but for now it wasn't enough.
Josh didn't know how long it had lasted. It had seemed to go on for an eternity and yet at the same time it didn't go on nearly long enough for his liking. As abruptly as their kiss began it ended. Her eyes once again wide as she drew back from him...
"I was in shock," she said sniffling while simultaneously turning a deep shade of red, her words bringing him back to the present.
"I know. But not as much shock as I was when I was greeted with a lip-lock like that," he said with a grin on his face.
"I've been through hell these past few hours."
"I know," he said somewhat sympathetically.
"And I kissed you because...... well, because I wasn't thinking clearly. I was overcome with emotion." She said sitting up straight. "I was relieved," she announced emphatically, as a cheesy grin broke out on his face. "And grateful," she said with conviction.
His grin grew wider, into an ear splitting one. His look of smugness suddenly unnerved her and her fogged -up brain scrambled to find some rational explanation for her recent actions." I was merely showing.... the relief and gratitude that...ahhh... an assistant shows her boss... when she is in shock and finds out that her boss whom she'd believed had been... tragically killed earlier in the evening was in fact alive and... and... and standing in her doorway at three in the morning..."
"Well I gotta tell you, Donna, if all assistants show gratitude for their boss the way you did just a while back, I'll be very very worried the next time the President arranges for a a DVD player upgrade for Charlie."
His attempt at humour made her angry.
"I didn't hear you complaining."
"I wasn't. I'm- I'm not."
She looked down at her hands, Josh wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or something else she was feeling.
"Not like I could have complained though," he said. "The way you wrapped your tongue around mine like that," he added with a mischievous grin.
"Josh!"
"Well, I'm just saying it was an amazing kiss, that's all."
"Josh-"
"One that I wouldn't mind repeating."
"What?"
"What, what?" he asked, playing dumb.
"You wouldn't mind repeating it?" she asked in a squeaky voice.
"It's supposed to be a compliment, Donna."
"I... I don't... I don't feel-" she began awkwardly but he cut her off abruptly before she could voice the words he dreaded to hear.
She was desperately trying to save them from a fate that she felt she wasn't ready to face - a fate that she wasn't even sure Josh had ever considered let alone wanted.
"You don't feel that way about me," he finished for her.
"I care for you, Josh," she said, sounding a little too unsure of herself than she would have liked. "But..."
"But you care for me as any assistant would. You feel close to me in a professional-assistant/ boss-kind-of-way. My well-being reflects on you as a senior White House Assistant, and that, underlying our working relationship is a personal regard for one another that is completely justifiable, even though it is closer than other professionals may enjoy, purely because of the nature of our jobs as White House Staffers, the long hours we spend together and the confidences we share," he offered her in a dejected tone as his heart sank..
She looked at him, and sighed.
"No. That's not what I was going to say. I don't feel we should be repeating a kiss like that, an amazing kiss as it was, like that, since you are still involved with Amy. And I care for you, Josh, but I could never be involved with someone who is already involved with someone else. I'm not that kind of person. I'm entirely to blame for that kiss. I was in shock. I wasn't thinking. You scared me and I was just so glad to have you back. But it doesn't have to be anything more than that."
"I don't think you're entirely to blame for that kiss - that amazing, definitely gonna be repeated kiss. I think I participated just a little," he grinned
"Well, maybe, a little." She returned his grin. " But that doesn't clear up the situation with Amy. We have to think about this. You say you want to repeat it, but what then? You have a girlfriend, Josh."
"You don't care about the boss/assistant thing?"
"Well yeah, of course. I mean that's something we would have to deal with as well. But that's not nearly as scary as a betrayed girlfriend bent of revenge who has influence in high places and who could damage not only you and me but this administration."
"Wow."
"What?" she asked.
"I never knew you were *that* afraid of Amy."
"I'm not afraid of her."
"That's okay. I'm afraid of her too," he chuckled.
"Then why go out with her?"
"She keeps me on my toes. She keeps my guard up. Going out with her is like dating and working at the same time. She makes me paranoid and defensive and I have to justify everything I do to her. It's... It's kind of like dating Sam... or Toby, but with sex."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe you and Sam or Toby should just get it on. It could be a lot easier on all of us."
"I can't believe I'm, having a conversation about *getting it on* with Sam."
"Speaking of which... have you called him? Does anyone else know you're back from the dead?"
"No. You were my first call. I couldn't reach you so I came straight here. I only found out on the way home from the airport-"
"Oh God, Josh. I was on the phone to Leo. You have to call him. You have to call him now."
"Okay." He reached for his cell once more and began to dial, he was stopped when Donna gently laid her hand over his.
"I was your first call?" she asked with tears glistening in her eyes again.
"Yeah," he whispered as she smiled. "And you'll always will be from now on."
"Oh, Josh," she said as she hugged him again.
THE END