Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, and I am making no profit from it. No matter how much the bloody Ring wants to babble in my head.
Dear Diary,
I have found out what Gollum is. It is (or was, rather) a Hobbit. I hates them all, the stupid Hobbits!
I mean, all a Ring wants is to be used for the purpose it was created, right? A little killing, some torture, a lot of bending the minds and hearts of Men. Men, not Hobbits! Oh, that first one was fine, it was easy- "Kill him , Smeagol! Now go" -well, okay, that bit didn't turn out so well. But- "Orcs are tasty, Gollum, why don't you eat one?"
Granted, they were supposed to eat him.
It would have been so easy to get an Orc to take me back to Mordor. But you win some, you lose some. (Obviously.) But! It won't leave the mountains, oh no: Gollum might lose the Precious. (You think? You think so?!)
But this new one! It's - it's horrible! It's like some tiny version of an Elf, almost - always thinking about plants, and - and so friendly and just - awful! Thank the Master it's not so high-minded. Or intelligent enough to take me to the Elves. A mountain full of various lovely nastiest, intelligent enough to hear me, stupid enough to take orders and I get picked up by this thing!
He won't listen like Gollum did, he hardly lies at all, he doesn't want to go anywhere remotely interesting, and he's hanging around with a Maiar. Not one of Master's, oh no, the fates enjoy torturing me too much for that, can't have the Ring near, oh, a Balrog, can we?!
No, this has to be one of those creepy fellows that hangs around the Elves all the time.
And did I mention the Dwarves he's traveling with? Damnit. No Men at all, no, just Dwarves and I don't dare chance it, they attract dragons like flies. What's that you say, Diary? A dragon couldn't destroy me?
No, it could not. But, would you want to spend the next thousand years working our way out of it's digestive tract?
I didn't think so.
Wait, have I picked up some of Gollum's speech habits?
Dear Diary,
I have found out what Gollum is. It is (or was, rather) a Hobbit. I hates them all, the stupid Hobbits!
I mean, all a Ring wants is to be used for the purpose it was created, right? A little killing, some torture, a lot of bending the minds and hearts of Men. Men, not Hobbits! Oh, that first one was fine, it was easy- "Kill him , Smeagol! Now go" -well, okay, that bit didn't turn out so well. But- "Orcs are tasty, Gollum, why don't you eat one?"
Granted, they were supposed to eat him.
It would have been so easy to get an Orc to take me back to Mordor. But you win some, you lose some. (Obviously.) But! It won't leave the mountains, oh no: Gollum might lose the Precious. (You think? You think so?!)
But this new one! It's - it's horrible! It's like some tiny version of an Elf, almost - always thinking about plants, and - and so friendly and just - awful! Thank the Master it's not so high-minded. Or intelligent enough to take me to the Elves. A mountain full of various lovely nastiest, intelligent enough to hear me, stupid enough to take orders and I get picked up by this thing!
He won't listen like Gollum did, he hardly lies at all, he doesn't want to go anywhere remotely interesting, and he's hanging around with a Maiar. Not one of Master's, oh no, the fates enjoy torturing me too much for that, can't have the Ring near, oh, a Balrog, can we?!
No, this has to be one of those creepy fellows that hangs around the Elves all the time.
And did I mention the Dwarves he's traveling with? Damnit. No Men at all, no, just Dwarves and I don't dare chance it, they attract dragons like flies. What's that you say, Diary? A dragon couldn't destroy me?
No, it could not. But, would you want to spend the next thousand years working our way out of it's digestive tract?
I didn't think so.
Wait, have I picked up some of Gollum's speech habits?