Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, and I am making no profit from it. No matter how much the bloody Ring wants to babble in my head.
Dear Diary,
Where to start, where to start...
So, I go through all the trouble of getting the new hobbit, (Bilbo, it's name is) through a forest full of spiders and a dungeon full of Elves, and what thanks do I get? None, that's what. None!
While we're planning the escape, I over-hear the Head Dwarf saying something about a Dragon. It turned out they were going to try and rob it! Ha!
Knew there was going to be a Dragon involved.
I was quite sure it would eat them all: still, we had to get away from those Elves. And then the Laketown people. I mean, the Mayor seemed a nice enough fellow, the sort I'd get along with wonderfully, but there was this Bard fellow about all the time. Rather creepy, so I wasn't all surprise to hear he'd shot the Dragon. Had that 'hero-to-be' aura about him, you know?
Oh! But do you know, the Dwarves locked themselves in the Mountain? It was wonderful, all the fear and tension and arguments. Closest thing to a nice, normal environment I'd had in years; all Gollum wanted to talk about after a while was fish. And me. And fish. I hates fishes.
Anyway, the whole thing was easily worth helping them escape the Elves. There were people demanding money from them and everything, while they were all starving to death. For a minute there, I thought I might have a way out: wait for the Dwarves and the Hobbit to starve to death, grab a passing Man while they loot the Mountain. No such luck of course.
However, it was quite hilarious, listening to the Head Dwarf going on about his treasure. I'd have ratted little Bilbo out, too, except for the fact that these are Dwarves. Still, had some fun between Head Dwarf's ranting about Arkenstone-thing and Bilbo's paranoia. 'Oh, they're going to find out, they're going to kill me-ahh! Wait, that was just a large shadow. Oh, they're going to find out, I'm going to get killed horribly!'
I swear I'm going to go insane dealing with him. Three times he almost starved to death, and he still wouldn't kill off the Dwarves. Not even one, to convince the rest of the lot to listen! Not even after I got sick of hearing him think to himself about food, and suggested the fat one might prove edible!
He really is deaf, I'm afraid. I suppose it's a good thing, as I have no idea when that Maiar might show up again. He'll not be able to tell I'm here, not with me exerting this little influence. Damnit.
Ah, but it made me nostalgic for the good old days when the armies showed up. All the carnage and the dying. Wargs and Orcs and all sorts of interesting people, and Elves dying. Oh, I loved to see the Elves getting killed. I kept yelling instructions to the Orcs, but sadly, they couldn't hear me in all the chaos. Too bad the stupid hobbit got knocked out, I was quite enjoying myself.
And now, apparently, it's tra-la-la back to its home to happily live out his days. Damnit. It's in the wrong direction, too. Oh well, at least I'll know where to have Sauron send the troops for my revenge.
Damn this little deaf hobbit.
Dear Diary,
Where to start, where to start...
So, I go through all the trouble of getting the new hobbit, (Bilbo, it's name is) through a forest full of spiders and a dungeon full of Elves, and what thanks do I get? None, that's what. None!
While we're planning the escape, I over-hear the Head Dwarf saying something about a Dragon. It turned out they were going to try and rob it! Ha!
Knew there was going to be a Dragon involved.
I was quite sure it would eat them all: still, we had to get away from those Elves. And then the Laketown people. I mean, the Mayor seemed a nice enough fellow, the sort I'd get along with wonderfully, but there was this Bard fellow about all the time. Rather creepy, so I wasn't all surprise to hear he'd shot the Dragon. Had that 'hero-to-be' aura about him, you know?
Oh! But do you know, the Dwarves locked themselves in the Mountain? It was wonderful, all the fear and tension and arguments. Closest thing to a nice, normal environment I'd had in years; all Gollum wanted to talk about after a while was fish. And me. And fish. I hates fishes.
Anyway, the whole thing was easily worth helping them escape the Elves. There were people demanding money from them and everything, while they were all starving to death. For a minute there, I thought I might have a way out: wait for the Dwarves and the Hobbit to starve to death, grab a passing Man while they loot the Mountain. No such luck of course.
However, it was quite hilarious, listening to the Head Dwarf going on about his treasure. I'd have ratted little Bilbo out, too, except for the fact that these are Dwarves. Still, had some fun between Head Dwarf's ranting about Arkenstone-thing and Bilbo's paranoia. 'Oh, they're going to find out, they're going to kill me-ahh! Wait, that was just a large shadow. Oh, they're going to find out, I'm going to get killed horribly!'
I swear I'm going to go insane dealing with him. Three times he almost starved to death, and he still wouldn't kill off the Dwarves. Not even one, to convince the rest of the lot to listen! Not even after I got sick of hearing him think to himself about food, and suggested the fat one might prove edible!
He really is deaf, I'm afraid. I suppose it's a good thing, as I have no idea when that Maiar might show up again. He'll not be able to tell I'm here, not with me exerting this little influence. Damnit.
Ah, but it made me nostalgic for the good old days when the armies showed up. All the carnage and the dying. Wargs and Orcs and all sorts of interesting people, and Elves dying. Oh, I loved to see the Elves getting killed. I kept yelling instructions to the Orcs, but sadly, they couldn't hear me in all the chaos. Too bad the stupid hobbit got knocked out, I was quite enjoying myself.
And now, apparently, it's tra-la-la back to its home to happily live out his days. Damnit. It's in the wrong direction, too. Oh well, at least I'll know where to have Sauron send the troops for my revenge.
Damn this little deaf hobbit.