Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, and I am making no profit from it. No matter how much the bloody Ring wants to babble in my head.
Dear Diary,
Today was the most wonderful day since - since -
Since the day before I got taken from Master Sauron!
I mean, all the way here, I got to listen to these people marking off routes that they couldn't use to Mordor, and finding out that Master Sauron has recruited another Maiar name of Saruman. (But then, he is also apparently a traitor. Now who's surprised? Hmm? Anyone? Really, the loyalty quota for evil minions just plummets when the boss isn't standing there watching them.)
Anyway, while they tried to climb Caradharas, I took the chance that the bloody Maiar would be distracted by the snow.
I managed to get one-split-second of control of Aragorn (Isildur's heir's name). I actually got him to cop a feel of the cute Elf, who it turns out he already has a thing for. (Yes! I will defame Isildur's heir and tramautize an Elf in one blow! I'm just not sure when, precisely)
Unfortunately, he snapped right back out of it and passed it off as losing his balance. Ha!
Then he refused to carry Frodo anymore; I think he might suspect me. Got carried instead by a strange Man named Boromir, whom I think may be very very vaguely related to Aragorn ( 'cousin of a cousin of' thing, I think) Ha! Stupid Man doesn't seem to understand I don't have to be that near him.
After that, I was able to convince Frodo to go into the Mines of Moria. Had to knock off attempts at manipulation after that, as the 'wizard' was distinctly glaring at me. Stupid Maiar. Had to go and notice, didn't he?
Then things became incredibly amusing: Frodo almost got eaten by this thing - this evil tentacle creature - in the lake! It was hilarious, he was yelling and everyone was panicking, attempting to fight it!
Although I do think Frodo heard me laughing: hopefully this means he can hear me. I just have to be very loud.
Anyway, back to the Mines. Full of Orcs and Goblins, and (as I was hoping) a Balrog. Though I had hopes that they might starve to death: the 'wizard' got lost! I was soo amused, but I managed to restrain myself lest Frodo hear me when he's liable to remember - and more importantly, be offended.
Then one of the other hobbits made the most incredible racket. This made my own musings on how to get the lazy stinking monsters to wake up pointless.
I was treated to the most wonderful few minutes of fighting for their lives, running for their lives, realizing that a Balrog was coming and they were all going to lose their lives! Ah, the fear of impending horrible demise; there's nothing like it.
And then? The highlight of this most glorious day?
The Maiar fell into the pit! Went plummeting downward when he stopped the Balrog from reaching his precious Ringbearer!
Oh, I know what he is; I know he's not dead.
But believe me, by the time he gets back up out of there, I will have gotten safely back to Master Sauron.
Dear Diary,
Today was the most wonderful day since - since -
Since the day before I got taken from Master Sauron!
I mean, all the way here, I got to listen to these people marking off routes that they couldn't use to Mordor, and finding out that Master Sauron has recruited another Maiar name of Saruman. (But then, he is also apparently a traitor. Now who's surprised? Hmm? Anyone? Really, the loyalty quota for evil minions just plummets when the boss isn't standing there watching them.)
Anyway, while they tried to climb Caradharas, I took the chance that the bloody Maiar would be distracted by the snow.
I managed to get one-split-second of control of Aragorn (Isildur's heir's name). I actually got him to cop a feel of the cute Elf, who it turns out he already has a thing for. (Yes! I will defame Isildur's heir and tramautize an Elf in one blow! I'm just not sure when, precisely)
Unfortunately, he snapped right back out of it and passed it off as losing his balance. Ha!
Then he refused to carry Frodo anymore; I think he might suspect me. Got carried instead by a strange Man named Boromir, whom I think may be very very vaguely related to Aragorn ( 'cousin of a cousin of' thing, I think) Ha! Stupid Man doesn't seem to understand I don't have to be that near him.
After that, I was able to convince Frodo to go into the Mines of Moria. Had to knock off attempts at manipulation after that, as the 'wizard' was distinctly glaring at me. Stupid Maiar. Had to go and notice, didn't he?
Then things became incredibly amusing: Frodo almost got eaten by this thing - this evil tentacle creature - in the lake! It was hilarious, he was yelling and everyone was panicking, attempting to fight it!
Although I do think Frodo heard me laughing: hopefully this means he can hear me. I just have to be very loud.
Anyway, back to the Mines. Full of Orcs and Goblins, and (as I was hoping) a Balrog. Though I had hopes that they might starve to death: the 'wizard' got lost! I was soo amused, but I managed to restrain myself lest Frodo hear me when he's liable to remember - and more importantly, be offended.
Then one of the other hobbits made the most incredible racket. This made my own musings on how to get the lazy stinking monsters to wake up pointless.
I was treated to the most wonderful few minutes of fighting for their lives, running for their lives, realizing that a Balrog was coming and they were all going to lose their lives! Ah, the fear of impending horrible demise; there's nothing like it.
And then? The highlight of this most glorious day?
The Maiar fell into the pit! Went plummeting downward when he stopped the Balrog from reaching his precious Ringbearer!
Oh, I know what he is; I know he's not dead.
But believe me, by the time he gets back up out of there, I will have gotten safely back to Master Sauron.