Chapter 2 (and hopefully last one. Couldn't stop thinking about this fic.
So decided to write a sequel of sorts)
Shalimar screamed as the bullets pierced her body. The metal was cold against her flesh and insides.
She fell to the floor and fresh waves of agony assaulted her. Her head swam and she almost lost consciousness.
The pain was too much - it was difficult enough o breath as her lungs filled with blood but she still managed to send a distress signal out to Sanctuary.
She was slowly but surely losing blood and consciousness. It pooled around her, warming her rapidly cooling flesh.
Shalimar has never realised how warm blood could be. With that thought in her head, she escaped from the pain into the blissfully clear darkness.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Brennan and Emma arrived almost immediately - Adam had put them on alert anticipating trouble. They had been stationed close enough to arrive soon after Shalimar had sent the message.
But they were not quick enough.
Emma swayed slightly as she took in the scene. The young man they were supposed to have rescued was clearly dead. There was too much blood to be otherwise.
Then Emma saw . . .
'Oh my god . . ." Emma hurried to where Shalimar lay. Her friend was almost as white as the boy was. Emma's hand shook as she checked for a pulse.
"Is she . . .?" Brennan bent down next to Emma, unable to complete the sentence.
"I think so . . . but barely. She has lost a lot of blood. We need to get her back to Sanctuary immediately."
Brennan nodded and gently picked up Shalimar. As he straightened, he was greeted by the sight of the man sticking out from the wall. It was all he could do not to drop Shalimar and throw up.
"What's wrong Brennan? We need to get . . ." The words just died on Emma's lips as she saw what Brennan was staring at. Her hand flew to her mouth to keep all the screams that threatened to spill out of her mouth.
It was grotesque, like some modern art sculpture out of a nightmare. More frightening than the man's body or his twisted expression was the stain from his blood. The entire wall around him was red, and the stone itself bled.
Emma knew who could have done such a thing but her mind refused to accept that fact. Her eyes searched for Jesse, afraid of what they would find.
He was huddled in a corner, covered with blood and vomit. His eyes were haunted and her kept mumbling to himself. Emma didn't need to hear the words, his mind was screaming them - "I am a murderer, I am a murderer."
"Brennan, get Shalimar to Sanctuary. I'll stay with Jesse."
"But . . ."
"Don't argue with me. I'll take care of anyone else who comes. And we don't have to time to calm Jesse down and take him with us. GO."
Brennan sprinted off for the Helix. Shalimar's situation demanded that he listen - no matter the fear that churned inside him for his other friends.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
"How is Jesse?" Adam asked removing his bloody gloves.
"I had to put him under - his mind would have torn itself apart if he remained awake any longer." Emma answered grimly.
"Good work." Adam nodded turning to the sink to wash his hands.
"Will she . . .?" Emma tentatively asked, not wanted to but needing to know the answer.
"I managed to remove all the bullets. Thank god that bastard fired blindly, he missed the heart and the brain. Most of the bullets hit the stomach. Her insides took a beating but her condition is stable - for now."
"But . . .?"
"But, she has lost a lot of blood. I've given her a transfusion. We will have to wait and see."
Adam turned and walked out of the room, the hours of surgery having exhausted him.
Brennan came up and gently massaged Emma's shoulders; the session with Jesse had drained her as well.
Emma turned around and buried her face in Brennan's chest, silent sobs racking her body.
Brennan held her, unable to lie to her, unable to tell her that everything would be okay.
The two people just stood there for a minute, until Emma turned her face to look up at Brennan. She was pale and something terrified lurked in her eyes - fear beyond the loss of two friends.
"He was not firing blindly. He didn't want to kill her immediately. He wanted to kill her slowly, painfully. He wanted to bleed every drop out of her." Emma shuddered and Brennan's arms tightened around her. Trying to protect her against the memory and failing.
"Even though he was dead I picked up that emotion from the residue left. His hatred was so strong that . . . that it survived even death." Emma vainly clutched at Brennan's shirt, hoping that he would make some glib remark and take away the pain.
He could do neither - and she knew that.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Day passed, or maybe weeks - time was all the same for Jesse who was still trapped within his nightmare. He should be thankful - Shalimar was getting better though she was still weak and unable to do much beyond resting.
He hadn't failed her -she would be okay. Somehow, she would be all right.
Would he?
He could feel the man's insides been squeezed - ever so slowly - then quickly. He could feel the pain slice through his insides, as it must have done for that man. He could feel his veins bursting in a shower of blood.
Again and again and then yet again.
Jesse had given up sleeping because he was helpless in his dreams. When he was awake, he could push the horror to a corner of his mind. It was there, threatening to overwhelm him if Jesse lost control for an instant.
He had lost control once - he would not do it again.
He had deep circles under his eyes and went through the motions of living lifelessly. He got up in the morning, had breakfast, worked on the computer and then went to bed.
Adam removed him from active duty, knowing he needed time to recover as much as Shalimar did. Unfortunately, the GSA took this time to step up their activities against New Mutants; which meant that the rest of the team was overworked and tired. Too tired to help; even if Jesse would have accepted their help.
He would not hurt anyone else.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Shalimar silently watched Jesse was he washed his hands. She watched as he washed them once, twice and then again.
She watched as he rubbed them raw, scrubbing at some invisible stain. She hissed in pain when Jesse's rubbing caused his ring to cut into his fingers. She went forward to stop him.
Jesse looked at Shalimar, and gently extracted his wet hands from her, "I need to wash my hands Shal, they're dirty." His voice was calm, rational and a complete lie. Shalimar could see the tears that remained in his eyes.
"They're clean Jesse. See." She took his hands in hears and washed the soap off them. His hands were spotless, except for the thin trickle of blood from his fingers.
"There's blood on them. I need to wash them." Jesse repeated. He started the water again, digging the soap into his palm, scouring the skin.
'You're making it worse. Here, let me do it." Shalimar took the soap from him and gently rinsed the blood off, holding the finger under cold water until the bleeding stopped.
"All done." Shalimar said cheerfully, as if speaking to a frightened child.
Jesse just looked at her, with ancient eyes - eyes that had seen too much. "They are still not clean. I need to wash them again. I need to get the blood out." His voice remained calm, with no change in inflection. It frightened Shalimar more than if he had screamed.
"Oh my poor Jesse." She kept his hands within hers, not giving up when he tugged at them slightly.
"So much blood Shal. So much blood."
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Shalimar gently pushed Jesse onto the couch and sat down next to him. "Talk to me Jesse."
"There is nothing to talk about. I am fine, you should concentrate on getting yourself better."
"I won't be 'fine' until you are. Seeing you hurt, hurts me too. Please talk to me." Shalimar lent forward to caress Jesse's face but he flinched back.
"Jesse, please."
"No, I won't hurt you anymore. Leave me alone Shal; it's the best way. I'll handle it."
"You never hurt me Jesse, that guy did. It wasn't your fault." Shalimar didn't have to be psionic to feel the pain and guilt in Jesse's voice.
"My head knows that, but it does not make it any easier. I felt the pain when the bullets hit you. Shal, I lost it completely when I saw the blood, your blood. I can't let that happen again." Jesse's arms remained rigidly by his side - but he didn't move from the circle of Shalimar's arms.
After a pause, Jesse continued, the words ripped from him, "I lost control. I am a danger to others . . . to you."
"NO! You made a mistake, that makes you human Jesse."
"Shalimar, I killed a man. I killed him in the most brutal way I was capable of. And do you know what . . . I would do it again in a moment. He hurt you."
Shalimar looked at Jesse, silent tears running down her cheeks.
"I wanted to kill him, I wanted his blood. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt you. I am as evil as he was."
Shalimar just shook her head. "You'll never make me believe that. You are the best person I know. Let me finish . . . yes you are the best person I know. You care about others; you try to hard and don't expect anything in return. You sacrifice yourself for others, for us and smile when we don't notice. You are not evil, just someone who made a big mistake."
She pulled Jesse into her arms again. This time his arms came up to hold her. She gently rocked him. "If you never believe anything else I say, believe only this . . . you're the best person I know."
Jesse curled up in Shalimar's lap, letting go of his pain. Only for a moment, he would allow himself this weakness, only for a moment.
Shalimar stroked his hair, and they were both silent.
'Do you know I can still smell the blood?" Shalimar sharply looked down at Jesse. He turned to bury his face in her stomach.
"When I close my eyes, I can still smell the blood, I can see it flow out of him, you - that boy. It is everywhere, all over me - covering me, drowning me. I can't escape it Shal."
His tears soaked her shirt, but she just held him tighter.
"I am covered with it, I can't seem to get clean. When will I be clean Shal?" Jesse's voice was almost childlike but the pain behind it made Shalimar ache all over. She was so helpless, she could not do anything for this man - her best friend, her rock, her sanity.
"So much blood. So much blood." Jesse shivered and Shalimar pulled him closer, into her, warming him with her body.
They just lay there, an injured feral and a wounded molecular - two damaged human beings.
Shalimar closed her eyes for a moment.
So much blood.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x THE END!!
So what did you think, did it make any sense? A bit too Macbethish but I couldn't get that scene out of my head.
Shalimar screamed as the bullets pierced her body. The metal was cold against her flesh and insides.
She fell to the floor and fresh waves of agony assaulted her. Her head swam and she almost lost consciousness.
The pain was too much - it was difficult enough o breath as her lungs filled with blood but she still managed to send a distress signal out to Sanctuary.
She was slowly but surely losing blood and consciousness. It pooled around her, warming her rapidly cooling flesh.
Shalimar has never realised how warm blood could be. With that thought in her head, she escaped from the pain into the blissfully clear darkness.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Brennan and Emma arrived almost immediately - Adam had put them on alert anticipating trouble. They had been stationed close enough to arrive soon after Shalimar had sent the message.
But they were not quick enough.
Emma swayed slightly as she took in the scene. The young man they were supposed to have rescued was clearly dead. There was too much blood to be otherwise.
Then Emma saw . . .
'Oh my god . . ." Emma hurried to where Shalimar lay. Her friend was almost as white as the boy was. Emma's hand shook as she checked for a pulse.
"Is she . . .?" Brennan bent down next to Emma, unable to complete the sentence.
"I think so . . . but barely. She has lost a lot of blood. We need to get her back to Sanctuary immediately."
Brennan nodded and gently picked up Shalimar. As he straightened, he was greeted by the sight of the man sticking out from the wall. It was all he could do not to drop Shalimar and throw up.
"What's wrong Brennan? We need to get . . ." The words just died on Emma's lips as she saw what Brennan was staring at. Her hand flew to her mouth to keep all the screams that threatened to spill out of her mouth.
It was grotesque, like some modern art sculpture out of a nightmare. More frightening than the man's body or his twisted expression was the stain from his blood. The entire wall around him was red, and the stone itself bled.
Emma knew who could have done such a thing but her mind refused to accept that fact. Her eyes searched for Jesse, afraid of what they would find.
He was huddled in a corner, covered with blood and vomit. His eyes were haunted and her kept mumbling to himself. Emma didn't need to hear the words, his mind was screaming them - "I am a murderer, I am a murderer."
"Brennan, get Shalimar to Sanctuary. I'll stay with Jesse."
"But . . ."
"Don't argue with me. I'll take care of anyone else who comes. And we don't have to time to calm Jesse down and take him with us. GO."
Brennan sprinted off for the Helix. Shalimar's situation demanded that he listen - no matter the fear that churned inside him for his other friends.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
"How is Jesse?" Adam asked removing his bloody gloves.
"I had to put him under - his mind would have torn itself apart if he remained awake any longer." Emma answered grimly.
"Good work." Adam nodded turning to the sink to wash his hands.
"Will she . . .?" Emma tentatively asked, not wanted to but needing to know the answer.
"I managed to remove all the bullets. Thank god that bastard fired blindly, he missed the heart and the brain. Most of the bullets hit the stomach. Her insides took a beating but her condition is stable - for now."
"But . . .?"
"But, she has lost a lot of blood. I've given her a transfusion. We will have to wait and see."
Adam turned and walked out of the room, the hours of surgery having exhausted him.
Brennan came up and gently massaged Emma's shoulders; the session with Jesse had drained her as well.
Emma turned around and buried her face in Brennan's chest, silent sobs racking her body.
Brennan held her, unable to lie to her, unable to tell her that everything would be okay.
The two people just stood there for a minute, until Emma turned her face to look up at Brennan. She was pale and something terrified lurked in her eyes - fear beyond the loss of two friends.
"He was not firing blindly. He didn't want to kill her immediately. He wanted to kill her slowly, painfully. He wanted to bleed every drop out of her." Emma shuddered and Brennan's arms tightened around her. Trying to protect her against the memory and failing.
"Even though he was dead I picked up that emotion from the residue left. His hatred was so strong that . . . that it survived even death." Emma vainly clutched at Brennan's shirt, hoping that he would make some glib remark and take away the pain.
He could do neither - and she knew that.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Day passed, or maybe weeks - time was all the same for Jesse who was still trapped within his nightmare. He should be thankful - Shalimar was getting better though she was still weak and unable to do much beyond resting.
He hadn't failed her -she would be okay. Somehow, she would be all right.
Would he?
He could feel the man's insides been squeezed - ever so slowly - then quickly. He could feel the pain slice through his insides, as it must have done for that man. He could feel his veins bursting in a shower of blood.
Again and again and then yet again.
Jesse had given up sleeping because he was helpless in his dreams. When he was awake, he could push the horror to a corner of his mind. It was there, threatening to overwhelm him if Jesse lost control for an instant.
He had lost control once - he would not do it again.
He had deep circles under his eyes and went through the motions of living lifelessly. He got up in the morning, had breakfast, worked on the computer and then went to bed.
Adam removed him from active duty, knowing he needed time to recover as much as Shalimar did. Unfortunately, the GSA took this time to step up their activities against New Mutants; which meant that the rest of the team was overworked and tired. Too tired to help; even if Jesse would have accepted their help.
He would not hurt anyone else.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Shalimar silently watched Jesse was he washed his hands. She watched as he washed them once, twice and then again.
She watched as he rubbed them raw, scrubbing at some invisible stain. She hissed in pain when Jesse's rubbing caused his ring to cut into his fingers. She went forward to stop him.
Jesse looked at Shalimar, and gently extracted his wet hands from her, "I need to wash my hands Shal, they're dirty." His voice was calm, rational and a complete lie. Shalimar could see the tears that remained in his eyes.
"They're clean Jesse. See." She took his hands in hears and washed the soap off them. His hands were spotless, except for the thin trickle of blood from his fingers.
"There's blood on them. I need to wash them." Jesse repeated. He started the water again, digging the soap into his palm, scouring the skin.
'You're making it worse. Here, let me do it." Shalimar took the soap from him and gently rinsed the blood off, holding the finger under cold water until the bleeding stopped.
"All done." Shalimar said cheerfully, as if speaking to a frightened child.
Jesse just looked at her, with ancient eyes - eyes that had seen too much. "They are still not clean. I need to wash them again. I need to get the blood out." His voice remained calm, with no change in inflection. It frightened Shalimar more than if he had screamed.
"Oh my poor Jesse." She kept his hands within hers, not giving up when he tugged at them slightly.
"So much blood Shal. So much blood."
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x
Shalimar gently pushed Jesse onto the couch and sat down next to him. "Talk to me Jesse."
"There is nothing to talk about. I am fine, you should concentrate on getting yourself better."
"I won't be 'fine' until you are. Seeing you hurt, hurts me too. Please talk to me." Shalimar lent forward to caress Jesse's face but he flinched back.
"Jesse, please."
"No, I won't hurt you anymore. Leave me alone Shal; it's the best way. I'll handle it."
"You never hurt me Jesse, that guy did. It wasn't your fault." Shalimar didn't have to be psionic to feel the pain and guilt in Jesse's voice.
"My head knows that, but it does not make it any easier. I felt the pain when the bullets hit you. Shal, I lost it completely when I saw the blood, your blood. I can't let that happen again." Jesse's arms remained rigidly by his side - but he didn't move from the circle of Shalimar's arms.
After a pause, Jesse continued, the words ripped from him, "I lost control. I am a danger to others . . . to you."
"NO! You made a mistake, that makes you human Jesse."
"Shalimar, I killed a man. I killed him in the most brutal way I was capable of. And do you know what . . . I would do it again in a moment. He hurt you."
Shalimar looked at Jesse, silent tears running down her cheeks.
"I wanted to kill him, I wanted his blood. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt you. I am as evil as he was."
Shalimar just shook her head. "You'll never make me believe that. You are the best person I know. Let me finish . . . yes you are the best person I know. You care about others; you try to hard and don't expect anything in return. You sacrifice yourself for others, for us and smile when we don't notice. You are not evil, just someone who made a big mistake."
She pulled Jesse into her arms again. This time his arms came up to hold her. She gently rocked him. "If you never believe anything else I say, believe only this . . . you're the best person I know."
Jesse curled up in Shalimar's lap, letting go of his pain. Only for a moment, he would allow himself this weakness, only for a moment.
Shalimar stroked his hair, and they were both silent.
'Do you know I can still smell the blood?" Shalimar sharply looked down at Jesse. He turned to bury his face in her stomach.
"When I close my eyes, I can still smell the blood, I can see it flow out of him, you - that boy. It is everywhere, all over me - covering me, drowning me. I can't escape it Shal."
His tears soaked her shirt, but she just held him tighter.
"I am covered with it, I can't seem to get clean. When will I be clean Shal?" Jesse's voice was almost childlike but the pain behind it made Shalimar ache all over. She was so helpless, she could not do anything for this man - her best friend, her rock, her sanity.
"So much blood. So much blood." Jesse shivered and Shalimar pulled him closer, into her, warming him with her body.
They just lay there, an injured feral and a wounded molecular - two damaged human beings.
Shalimar closed her eyes for a moment.
So much blood.
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x THE END!!
So what did you think, did it make any sense? A bit too Macbethish but I couldn't get that scene out of my head.