A Gangsta's A Gangsta
AN: I don't own anything but a new printer/scanner from "Santa" *wink wink*
Hehe ok well here is chapter 21! OMG this is like the second to last
chapter nooo I can't do it I love this fic and, and I don't know if I can
bring myself to finish it! But I must so I'm gonna stop complaining and
start writing! She said I'm better off dead-New Found Glory Better off
dead. Thank you Ashley for tellin' me about the song!
// //-Song Lyrics
*History Repeating*
They would have killed them both, Faye and lil Spike. I would never tell Faye what happened that night. The horrid things I endured just to see her face once again. She told me before she believed herself to be the cause of all my pain, in some respects she was right, but I would die a thousand times just to know her name, just to see her eyes look in mine, just to be close to her, just to love her. I did it to save them.I let them do this to me to save them. I did it to save my love, Faye. I did it to save my only begotten son.
//The word is about, there's something evolving,
whatever may come, the world keeps revolving
They say the next big thing is here,
that the revolution's near,
but to me it seems quite clear
that it's all just a little bit of history repeating//
I felt the icy cold sting of the pouring ran hit against the bear skin on the back of my neck as I stumbled down the side walk. I felt the bitter coarse red brick run under my fingers as I used the wall to keep myself from falling. My head lulled up and down with every step I took. My left arm hug lifeless against my side, I could feel the blood pouring out of the wound just below my shoulder. It poured down my sleeve and I felt it pool in the palm of my hand before slowly dripping off my fingertips and hitting the ground. The crimson blood fell into puddles turning their clear color to a light rusted one. I could feel every mussel ache as I walked down the hard cement sidewalk covered in rain. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as I turned down a brightly lit neighborhood sidewalk. I stumbled half way down the block and stopped turning to my right. I looked up to see thousands of twinkling lights decorating an old Victorian house that was mine, my house, the house that I shared with my Faye and our child. I could only see half of reality. The other half was a mask of blood. I trudged determinately up to the large wooden door, I would see her face again if it was the last thing I did.
//The newspapers shout a new style is growing,
but it don't know if it's coming or going,
there is fashion, there is fad
some is good, some is bad
and the joke is rather sad,
that its all just a little bit of history repeating//
*Flashback*
"Daddy." I had been afraid of the dark since I could remember, that was the night the darkness became my greatest friend. In the dark no one can see you cry, not a single crystalline tear. No one can sense the pain and agony in your heart. No one can know if you just lost everything you had. The darkness embraced me as I clung to my dieing fathers body. I could feel the life leaving him as I cried his name over and over again. It was my name to, one of the only things he had given me to remember him by. That and his coat, his blood stained, horrid memory filled trench coat he gave me. I held it as tight as I could, believing in my five year old mind that if I held on to that he would live. I inhaled his cologne as I lifted my tear stricken face from his damp hair. I was alone.I was alone till someone walked into my life and changed it forever.
"Spike."
//.. and I've seen it before
.. and I'll see it again
.. yes I've seen it before
.. just little bits of history repeating//
*End Flashback*
I stood before of my front door a wreck, physically and mentally. I had done it once again. My job was once again true to its deadly word. My fathers old and blood stained coat clung to me as the rain poured down on me, biting my skin with each droplet. I couldn't see through my left eye, I couldn't even blink, was there even an eye still there? I felt the cold unmistakable bite of bullet on my skin just below my shoulder where blood was leaking. Though I hadn't been slashed like my father had, the scar on my abdomen burned like it had been freshly cut. Like in a dream I felt my arm rise up on it's own accord and hit the doorbell. I heard the sweet chime as the door swung open quickly. "Spike!" I heard her heavenly voice call to me as I suddenly felt my knees grow weak; before I fell Faye had pulled me inside. I felt her drag my limp body over to a soft couch that had been in my apartment before.
"Oh god Spike what happened to you?!?!" Faye asked softly stroking my face trying to wipe away the warm blood. In her voice I found comfort, a comfort only she could give me. She held me close to her as I lifted my right working hand to run my fingers through her hair once again, feel the violet beauty. "Faye I-I-I- just want to tell you I love you.forever." I whispered in her ear. Her face was pressed tight against my neck. I felt the tears running down her cheeks, they were warm and full of sorrow. The tears she only shed for me, those were my tears. She moved her head up from neck and looked in my eyes. Her eyes were so pained, so sad, it hurt me to know I was causing the woman I loved so much pain. She moved in close to me and brushed her crimson red lips against mine in a sweet pure kiss. The innocence that was in that kiss was enough to make up for all the people I had killed in my life. It made up for all the lies I told, all the times I hurt someone, all the times I hurt her. She cradled my head in her arms before calling for lil Spike.
//Some people don't dance, if they don't know who's singing,
why ask your head, it's your hips that are swinging
life's for us to enjoy
woman, man, girl and boy,
feel the pain, feel the joy
aside set the little bits of history repeating//
"Honey we need to take daddy to the hospital come down here now!" I heard the urgent tone in her voice as it cracked. "Faye it's ok I know I'll make it." I told her trying to calm her nerves. 'I'll do my best to Faye. Just for you and our son.' She looked down at me holding my face in her slender hands. "You better." She told me trying to smile but a tear slowly fell from her cheek and hit mine. I heard lil Spike running down the stairs and walk over to where his mom and dad where. "Daddy?" he asked me touching my head. "What's the matter with daddy, mommy?" He asked in such and innocent voice I knew he must have been sent from heaven. "Daddy got hurt honey and we need to take him to the hospital. So go get in the car and mommy and daddy will be right there Okee?" Faye told him as he nodded, before her ran off to the garage I grabbed his arm. "Spike will you give daddy a hug, please?" I asked him as he smiled at me. He was so full of purity; he didn't know what was going on. He gave me a quick warm hug. "I love ya son." I whispered in his ear as he stepped back giggling. "Luv ya too dada!" he cried running off to the car. Faye helped me off the sofa and into the car. "Spike I'll love you till the day I die." She whispered in my ear as her hot breath tickled my neck. I sat next to her in the car as everything started spinning. The half world turned upside down as flashing lights blared in my eye. I heard a fading voice in the background. "Spike hold on."
//.. just little bits of history repeating//
This was all just history repeating its vicious cycle that it held on my family we live, we love, and then we die.
//.. and I've seen it before//
I've seen it happen before, my father lived, he loved my mother, and in my arms he died.
//.. and I'll see it again//
I see it happening to me now.again
//.. yes I've seen it before//
But I'll tell you one more time.
//.. just little bits of history repeating//
To my family it's all just a little bit of history repeating.
**************************************************************************** **
AN: ooooo I hope ya'll liked it and I'm sorry if you don't please tell me what you think!!! Next and final chapter: Only Begotten Son.
They would have killed them both, Faye and lil Spike. I would never tell Faye what happened that night. The horrid things I endured just to see her face once again. She told me before she believed herself to be the cause of all my pain, in some respects she was right, but I would die a thousand times just to know her name, just to see her eyes look in mine, just to be close to her, just to love her. I did it to save them.I let them do this to me to save them. I did it to save my love, Faye. I did it to save my only begotten son.
//The word is about, there's something evolving,
whatever may come, the world keeps revolving
They say the next big thing is here,
that the revolution's near,
but to me it seems quite clear
that it's all just a little bit of history repeating//
I felt the icy cold sting of the pouring ran hit against the bear skin on the back of my neck as I stumbled down the side walk. I felt the bitter coarse red brick run under my fingers as I used the wall to keep myself from falling. My head lulled up and down with every step I took. My left arm hug lifeless against my side, I could feel the blood pouring out of the wound just below my shoulder. It poured down my sleeve and I felt it pool in the palm of my hand before slowly dripping off my fingertips and hitting the ground. The crimson blood fell into puddles turning their clear color to a light rusted one. I could feel every mussel ache as I walked down the hard cement sidewalk covered in rain. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as I turned down a brightly lit neighborhood sidewalk. I stumbled half way down the block and stopped turning to my right. I looked up to see thousands of twinkling lights decorating an old Victorian house that was mine, my house, the house that I shared with my Faye and our child. I could only see half of reality. The other half was a mask of blood. I trudged determinately up to the large wooden door, I would see her face again if it was the last thing I did.
//The newspapers shout a new style is growing,
but it don't know if it's coming or going,
there is fashion, there is fad
some is good, some is bad
and the joke is rather sad,
that its all just a little bit of history repeating//
*Flashback*
"Daddy." I had been afraid of the dark since I could remember, that was the night the darkness became my greatest friend. In the dark no one can see you cry, not a single crystalline tear. No one can sense the pain and agony in your heart. No one can know if you just lost everything you had. The darkness embraced me as I clung to my dieing fathers body. I could feel the life leaving him as I cried his name over and over again. It was my name to, one of the only things he had given me to remember him by. That and his coat, his blood stained, horrid memory filled trench coat he gave me. I held it as tight as I could, believing in my five year old mind that if I held on to that he would live. I inhaled his cologne as I lifted my tear stricken face from his damp hair. I was alone.I was alone till someone walked into my life and changed it forever.
"Spike."
//.. and I've seen it before
.. and I'll see it again
.. yes I've seen it before
.. just little bits of history repeating//
*End Flashback*
I stood before of my front door a wreck, physically and mentally. I had done it once again. My job was once again true to its deadly word. My fathers old and blood stained coat clung to me as the rain poured down on me, biting my skin with each droplet. I couldn't see through my left eye, I couldn't even blink, was there even an eye still there? I felt the cold unmistakable bite of bullet on my skin just below my shoulder where blood was leaking. Though I hadn't been slashed like my father had, the scar on my abdomen burned like it had been freshly cut. Like in a dream I felt my arm rise up on it's own accord and hit the doorbell. I heard the sweet chime as the door swung open quickly. "Spike!" I heard her heavenly voice call to me as I suddenly felt my knees grow weak; before I fell Faye had pulled me inside. I felt her drag my limp body over to a soft couch that had been in my apartment before.
"Oh god Spike what happened to you?!?!" Faye asked softly stroking my face trying to wipe away the warm blood. In her voice I found comfort, a comfort only she could give me. She held me close to her as I lifted my right working hand to run my fingers through her hair once again, feel the violet beauty. "Faye I-I-I- just want to tell you I love you.forever." I whispered in her ear. Her face was pressed tight against my neck. I felt the tears running down her cheeks, they were warm and full of sorrow. The tears she only shed for me, those were my tears. She moved her head up from neck and looked in my eyes. Her eyes were so pained, so sad, it hurt me to know I was causing the woman I loved so much pain. She moved in close to me and brushed her crimson red lips against mine in a sweet pure kiss. The innocence that was in that kiss was enough to make up for all the people I had killed in my life. It made up for all the lies I told, all the times I hurt someone, all the times I hurt her. She cradled my head in her arms before calling for lil Spike.
//Some people don't dance, if they don't know who's singing,
why ask your head, it's your hips that are swinging
life's for us to enjoy
woman, man, girl and boy,
feel the pain, feel the joy
aside set the little bits of history repeating//
"Honey we need to take daddy to the hospital come down here now!" I heard the urgent tone in her voice as it cracked. "Faye it's ok I know I'll make it." I told her trying to calm her nerves. 'I'll do my best to Faye. Just for you and our son.' She looked down at me holding my face in her slender hands. "You better." She told me trying to smile but a tear slowly fell from her cheek and hit mine. I heard lil Spike running down the stairs and walk over to where his mom and dad where. "Daddy?" he asked me touching my head. "What's the matter with daddy, mommy?" He asked in such and innocent voice I knew he must have been sent from heaven. "Daddy got hurt honey and we need to take him to the hospital. So go get in the car and mommy and daddy will be right there Okee?" Faye told him as he nodded, before her ran off to the garage I grabbed his arm. "Spike will you give daddy a hug, please?" I asked him as he smiled at me. He was so full of purity; he didn't know what was going on. He gave me a quick warm hug. "I love ya son." I whispered in his ear as he stepped back giggling. "Luv ya too dada!" he cried running off to the car. Faye helped me off the sofa and into the car. "Spike I'll love you till the day I die." She whispered in my ear as her hot breath tickled my neck. I sat next to her in the car as everything started spinning. The half world turned upside down as flashing lights blared in my eye. I heard a fading voice in the background. "Spike hold on."
//.. just little bits of history repeating//
This was all just history repeating its vicious cycle that it held on my family we live, we love, and then we die.
//.. and I've seen it before//
I've seen it happen before, my father lived, he loved my mother, and in my arms he died.
//.. and I'll see it again//
I see it happening to me now.again
//.. yes I've seen it before//
But I'll tell you one more time.
//.. just little bits of history repeating//
To my family it's all just a little bit of history repeating.
**************************************************************************** **
AN: ooooo I hope ya'll liked it and I'm sorry if you don't please tell me what you think!!! Next and final chapter: Only Begotten Son.