Year 3, Meonik time, a few seconds later
"W-who are you?" His words are heavily accented but not foreign. "Who am I?"
I tear my gaze from him as the block on my memories cracks and crumbles. People, places, events flash through my mind like a movie in an extremely realistic manner and rapid speed. Dizzily, I reach out with one of my hands to steady myself and touch bare skin.
I'm Buffy Summers. . . ex-vampire slayer. . . ex-vampire. . . with a beating heart and lungs full of necessary oxygen.
The man. . . vampire. . . Spike jerks away from my contact. "What's wrong with you?"
Covered in goop, I look down at myself, noting the golden-brown, taut skin that's free from signs of age. "Damn. I look pretty good for being over a thousand." My comment sounds a little strange even to myself.
Spike has backed up to the base of the cylinder I released him from, slipping and sliding slightly in the slimy fluid. As if he's a trapped animal, he refuses to remove his eyes from me.
"Where am I?" Spike seems utterly confused, and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or himself. "I mean, I don't know where I'm supposed to be, but I know it's not here. Not covered in this whatever it is." He flings the slimy substance off his left hand.
"Umm. No, you're not supposed to be here. Neither am I. And neither of us is supposed to be breathing either. And by the way, I'm Buffy; you're Spike."
He frowns. "Well, how do we get back to where we're supposed to be? And what do you mean we're not supposed to be breathing? And what kind of bloody stupid names are those?"
His responses remind me of the spell gone wrong Willow cast on us to erase our memories and the one she cast to make us fall in love. Trying not to grin, I attempt to formulate a response, but before I can think of anything that won't be too upsetting, I smell the scent of fresh rain. "Thayne?"
Thayne seems disappointed. "So, he doesn't remember you?"
Only the memory of Thayne's kindness keeps me from lashing out at him. "What's going on? You, Theos, and Thalia have a lot of explaining to do."
"I agree," Spike asserts.
Thayne sighs, "I suppose we do."
* * *
Year 3, Meonik time, thirty minutes later
Spike and I are perched awkwardly on the edge of my bed. . . the bed on which I so rarely slept. At least, now I know why. I am using every ounce of my strength not to throw myself into his arms. What keeps me from doing so is a pervasive need to know the truth and a keen awareness that Spike is not the individual I remember him to be.
The three invisible beings are present as well, their signature scents mingling in the fashion that I've come to recognize as uniquely theirs. . . sharp pine, cool rain, melted sugar. More than ever before, I wish I could see them. . . wish they possessed solid forms.
Thalia leads the group, "I'm not sure quite where to start except to say that we knew this day would come. In fact, we wanted it to. But we thought we'd start by letting you ask us questions."
I glance at Spike who appears to be a bit dumbfounded, so I begin by being slightly more revealing than I would normally be simply because I still have some trust in them, "Why am I here? Last thing I knew before my life started here, I was. . . on a spaceship headed for the sun." I can't bear to discuss why just yet. That topic should be reserved for later when Spike is more. . . together.
Thayne explains, "It's quite complicated, but to explain the process in terms that you would understand, when you were turned to dust by the sun. . ."
"I. . . we were cremated?" Spike wonders almost innocently.
"Boy, you really don't remember anything, do you?" Theos marvels, brushing quietly over my cheek.
Theos must have touched Spike as well because a look of pure annoyance crosses his face. "No, I don't."
"You and Buffy were vampires," Thayne informs Spike with a matter-of- factness that I couldn't have fathomed using. So much for my idea of telling Spike that tidbit later.
"Vampires?" Spike is incredulous. "As in the bloodsucking kind? Not just parasites off the rest of humankind?"
I answer Spike's questioning gaze with a nod. "Yes, but we were good vampires. In fact, we. . . worked side by side for centuries. . . on Earth." I pause, returning my attention to the other three creatures in the room. "Where are we? What is this place?"
"This is a place similar to Earth but not Earth. We're in a different dimension. The exact place where you are now is Niodell," Thalia says in a low tone.
"Why are you invisible?" Questions are pouring forth, and I'm determined that I will not hold anything back.
"Because that is the nature of our kind."
"How did you get us here? What did you do to us? How do we have form? And how come we're not vampires anymore?"
Theos laughs almost merrily. "One of our jobs is to track the flow of souls in other dimensions and across dimensions with an eye on your dimension in particular. When your sun incinerated your bodies, your souls were set adrift. Being near the sun, there was enough energy for us to bend the dimensions and bring your souls here."
"Well, we'd always been taught to merely observe the flow of souls in your dimension. We'd never interacted with any of the souls. And certainly no soul had ever drifted that close to the sun," Thalia adds.
"Not even in other solar systems?"
Thalia sounds amused, "Oh, Buffy dear, you overestimate our job description and our ability. We are merely one group of many like us. Our job is your solar system. I'm sure in other systems this type of phenomenon has occurred before, but we've never heard of it."
"Are we clones?"
Thayne clears his throat, "Not exactly. To make a clone like you're thinking about, we'd have to have a tissue sample. . . even a single cell from your physical body. We had none of that. We just had your soul. So, we devised a way to read and store your soul's essence and created you a physical body to match that essence. Of course, we couldn't create 'dead' tissue similar to your vampire state, so we created a whole new living body that conformed as close as possible to your human state. So no, you're not clones. If you were clones, you wouldn't have the memories of your other lives."
"I don't have any memories," Spike spoke for the first time since the meeting began.
"And neither did I. . . not for a long time."
For the first time, something besides anger, annoyance, and confusion crosses Spike's face. My heart warms to his show of positive emotion. Surely, he will remember what was. . .is between us at some point.
Theos admits, "A glitch we weren't expecting. But our theory is that your souls need time to readjust to the new bodies, so one coping strategy was to block out the old memories for a while."
My eyes narrow. "But why didn't you tell me about what was going on from the beginning?"
"Because we weren't sure exactly what we were dealing with. How you would handle the truth."
"Why was Spike in stasis?"
"Because we formed you first. Spike's body wasn't ready when yours was because we didn't have enough resources to form both of you at once."
"Oh." I think for a long moment. "Why us?"
Thalia chooses to answer, "We've been studying your people's souls for a long time. We wanted to understand your kind. What better souls than those, which have been rejected by society? What more unique and rare souls than those of two vampires?"
Anger flares through me. That feeling is definitely familiar. "So, we were just experiments? Toys to you?"
Slightly defensive, Theos jumps on my questions, "No! Of course not! Although we had selfish motives for studying you, we also wanted to give you a second chance at life. . . literally."
"What if we didn't want it?" I demand.
Thayne breaks the resulting silence first, "We didn't expect that. I guess we assumed that life would persevere. . . wants to continue no matter what."
"You don't have suicide here, do you?"
"No." Thayne's reply is almost imperceptible.
"Well, what do you plan to do with us now? Are you done studying us. . . me?"
Thalia acknowledges with the essence of sugar, "You are free to go; we have no hold on you. We have no desire to hurt you. Just because we studied you doesn't mean we don't care about you."
"Where the hell do you expect us to go?"
"We'll send you back to Earth."
"To do what? Get killed again?" For all their technological brilliance, they are lacking in common sense. . . or most probably knowledge of human beings.
"You'll have a chance to live again."
"Yeah, right, we won't even know what to expect. How many years will have passed? We'll be all alone." The unreachable Spike is already making me feel unbearably isolated.
* * *
Year 3, Meonik time, several hours later
The sheets are cool and fresh against the bare skin on my calves and thighs. The mattress is soft and comfortable beneath my spine, but no position is comfortable. I can't sleep, not here, not without. . .
Spike sleeps on a pallet across the room. His snores are soft and even, and I cherish them because vampire Spike was always silent during sleep. Currently, he is exhausted after the multiple revelations that have been thrown at him. I am tempted to get up, cross the room, and pounce on him. . . the way I used to do when I couldn't sleep. He has been so quiet; I don't know what he's thinking. I have a feeling that if I do attempt to touch him, he will push me away.
Before I think about what I'm doing, my bare feet have found the carpet, and I'm kneeling at Spike's side. Light streams through the window, illuminating his body. He lays on his right side, his scarred left arm on top of the blanket I gave him earlier.
Upon close inspection, his mouth is set in a frown, and his eyes are tightly shut, highlighting a level of anxiety that his deep breathing doesn't betray. His lips are slightly parted, and I long to kiss them tenderly.
Then, he moves with a slight groan, and my skin tingles when his hand brushes over my fingers. His fingers close around mine and gently squeeze. My eyes fly from his hand to his face, and he remains passive in his dreams.
I attempt to remove my hand, but he only holds more tightly with an unconscious but stubborn urgency. Finally managing to clamor to an upright position, I stand with his hand encasing mine. Guessing he will let go if I start walking away, I only succeed in pulling him up with me. Not used to him being stronger than me, I stride away from him and only succeed in pulling him with me. We reach the bed, and I think surely he will let go of me once I slip beneath the sheets.
With a contented sigh, he snuggles next to me. To no avail, I try to keep distance between us, but Spike pulls my body flush against him torso, wrapping his left arm snugly around my waist. Instantly, drowsiness overwhelms me, and I decide to deal with the consequences in the morning.
TBC. . . Buffy and Spike prepare to head for Earth. What will become of their relationship? How will they cope on Earth again?
Sorry this part took so long, but I'm in grad school and had to take my qualifying exams. More will be coming soon cause I passed! *g*
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!! They mean a lot!
"W-who are you?" His words are heavily accented but not foreign. "Who am I?"
I tear my gaze from him as the block on my memories cracks and crumbles. People, places, events flash through my mind like a movie in an extremely realistic manner and rapid speed. Dizzily, I reach out with one of my hands to steady myself and touch bare skin.
I'm Buffy Summers. . . ex-vampire slayer. . . ex-vampire. . . with a beating heart and lungs full of necessary oxygen.
The man. . . vampire. . . Spike jerks away from my contact. "What's wrong with you?"
Covered in goop, I look down at myself, noting the golden-brown, taut skin that's free from signs of age. "Damn. I look pretty good for being over a thousand." My comment sounds a little strange even to myself.
Spike has backed up to the base of the cylinder I released him from, slipping and sliding slightly in the slimy fluid. As if he's a trapped animal, he refuses to remove his eyes from me.
"Where am I?" Spike seems utterly confused, and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or himself. "I mean, I don't know where I'm supposed to be, but I know it's not here. Not covered in this whatever it is." He flings the slimy substance off his left hand.
"Umm. No, you're not supposed to be here. Neither am I. And neither of us is supposed to be breathing either. And by the way, I'm Buffy; you're Spike."
He frowns. "Well, how do we get back to where we're supposed to be? And what do you mean we're not supposed to be breathing? And what kind of bloody stupid names are those?"
His responses remind me of the spell gone wrong Willow cast on us to erase our memories and the one she cast to make us fall in love. Trying not to grin, I attempt to formulate a response, but before I can think of anything that won't be too upsetting, I smell the scent of fresh rain. "Thayne?"
Thayne seems disappointed. "So, he doesn't remember you?"
Only the memory of Thayne's kindness keeps me from lashing out at him. "What's going on? You, Theos, and Thalia have a lot of explaining to do."
"I agree," Spike asserts.
Thayne sighs, "I suppose we do."
* * *
Year 3, Meonik time, thirty minutes later
Spike and I are perched awkwardly on the edge of my bed. . . the bed on which I so rarely slept. At least, now I know why. I am using every ounce of my strength not to throw myself into his arms. What keeps me from doing so is a pervasive need to know the truth and a keen awareness that Spike is not the individual I remember him to be.
The three invisible beings are present as well, their signature scents mingling in the fashion that I've come to recognize as uniquely theirs. . . sharp pine, cool rain, melted sugar. More than ever before, I wish I could see them. . . wish they possessed solid forms.
Thalia leads the group, "I'm not sure quite where to start except to say that we knew this day would come. In fact, we wanted it to. But we thought we'd start by letting you ask us questions."
I glance at Spike who appears to be a bit dumbfounded, so I begin by being slightly more revealing than I would normally be simply because I still have some trust in them, "Why am I here? Last thing I knew before my life started here, I was. . . on a spaceship headed for the sun." I can't bear to discuss why just yet. That topic should be reserved for later when Spike is more. . . together.
Thayne explains, "It's quite complicated, but to explain the process in terms that you would understand, when you were turned to dust by the sun. . ."
"I. . . we were cremated?" Spike wonders almost innocently.
"Boy, you really don't remember anything, do you?" Theos marvels, brushing quietly over my cheek.
Theos must have touched Spike as well because a look of pure annoyance crosses his face. "No, I don't."
"You and Buffy were vampires," Thayne informs Spike with a matter-of- factness that I couldn't have fathomed using. So much for my idea of telling Spike that tidbit later.
"Vampires?" Spike is incredulous. "As in the bloodsucking kind? Not just parasites off the rest of humankind?"
I answer Spike's questioning gaze with a nod. "Yes, but we were good vampires. In fact, we. . . worked side by side for centuries. . . on Earth." I pause, returning my attention to the other three creatures in the room. "Where are we? What is this place?"
"This is a place similar to Earth but not Earth. We're in a different dimension. The exact place where you are now is Niodell," Thalia says in a low tone.
"Why are you invisible?" Questions are pouring forth, and I'm determined that I will not hold anything back.
"Because that is the nature of our kind."
"How did you get us here? What did you do to us? How do we have form? And how come we're not vampires anymore?"
Theos laughs almost merrily. "One of our jobs is to track the flow of souls in other dimensions and across dimensions with an eye on your dimension in particular. When your sun incinerated your bodies, your souls were set adrift. Being near the sun, there was enough energy for us to bend the dimensions and bring your souls here."
"Well, we'd always been taught to merely observe the flow of souls in your dimension. We'd never interacted with any of the souls. And certainly no soul had ever drifted that close to the sun," Thalia adds.
"Not even in other solar systems?"
Thalia sounds amused, "Oh, Buffy dear, you overestimate our job description and our ability. We are merely one group of many like us. Our job is your solar system. I'm sure in other systems this type of phenomenon has occurred before, but we've never heard of it."
"Are we clones?"
Thayne clears his throat, "Not exactly. To make a clone like you're thinking about, we'd have to have a tissue sample. . . even a single cell from your physical body. We had none of that. We just had your soul. So, we devised a way to read and store your soul's essence and created you a physical body to match that essence. Of course, we couldn't create 'dead' tissue similar to your vampire state, so we created a whole new living body that conformed as close as possible to your human state. So no, you're not clones. If you were clones, you wouldn't have the memories of your other lives."
"I don't have any memories," Spike spoke for the first time since the meeting began.
"And neither did I. . . not for a long time."
For the first time, something besides anger, annoyance, and confusion crosses Spike's face. My heart warms to his show of positive emotion. Surely, he will remember what was. . .is between us at some point.
Theos admits, "A glitch we weren't expecting. But our theory is that your souls need time to readjust to the new bodies, so one coping strategy was to block out the old memories for a while."
My eyes narrow. "But why didn't you tell me about what was going on from the beginning?"
"Because we weren't sure exactly what we were dealing with. How you would handle the truth."
"Why was Spike in stasis?"
"Because we formed you first. Spike's body wasn't ready when yours was because we didn't have enough resources to form both of you at once."
"Oh." I think for a long moment. "Why us?"
Thalia chooses to answer, "We've been studying your people's souls for a long time. We wanted to understand your kind. What better souls than those, which have been rejected by society? What more unique and rare souls than those of two vampires?"
Anger flares through me. That feeling is definitely familiar. "So, we were just experiments? Toys to you?"
Slightly defensive, Theos jumps on my questions, "No! Of course not! Although we had selfish motives for studying you, we also wanted to give you a second chance at life. . . literally."
"What if we didn't want it?" I demand.
Thayne breaks the resulting silence first, "We didn't expect that. I guess we assumed that life would persevere. . . wants to continue no matter what."
"You don't have suicide here, do you?"
"No." Thayne's reply is almost imperceptible.
"Well, what do you plan to do with us now? Are you done studying us. . . me?"
Thalia acknowledges with the essence of sugar, "You are free to go; we have no hold on you. We have no desire to hurt you. Just because we studied you doesn't mean we don't care about you."
"Where the hell do you expect us to go?"
"We'll send you back to Earth."
"To do what? Get killed again?" For all their technological brilliance, they are lacking in common sense. . . or most probably knowledge of human beings.
"You'll have a chance to live again."
"Yeah, right, we won't even know what to expect. How many years will have passed? We'll be all alone." The unreachable Spike is already making me feel unbearably isolated.
* * *
Year 3, Meonik time, several hours later
The sheets are cool and fresh against the bare skin on my calves and thighs. The mattress is soft and comfortable beneath my spine, but no position is comfortable. I can't sleep, not here, not without. . .
Spike sleeps on a pallet across the room. His snores are soft and even, and I cherish them because vampire Spike was always silent during sleep. Currently, he is exhausted after the multiple revelations that have been thrown at him. I am tempted to get up, cross the room, and pounce on him. . . the way I used to do when I couldn't sleep. He has been so quiet; I don't know what he's thinking. I have a feeling that if I do attempt to touch him, he will push me away.
Before I think about what I'm doing, my bare feet have found the carpet, and I'm kneeling at Spike's side. Light streams through the window, illuminating his body. He lays on his right side, his scarred left arm on top of the blanket I gave him earlier.
Upon close inspection, his mouth is set in a frown, and his eyes are tightly shut, highlighting a level of anxiety that his deep breathing doesn't betray. His lips are slightly parted, and I long to kiss them tenderly.
Then, he moves with a slight groan, and my skin tingles when his hand brushes over my fingers. His fingers close around mine and gently squeeze. My eyes fly from his hand to his face, and he remains passive in his dreams.
I attempt to remove my hand, but he only holds more tightly with an unconscious but stubborn urgency. Finally managing to clamor to an upright position, I stand with his hand encasing mine. Guessing he will let go if I start walking away, I only succeed in pulling him up with me. Not used to him being stronger than me, I stride away from him and only succeed in pulling him with me. We reach the bed, and I think surely he will let go of me once I slip beneath the sheets.
With a contented sigh, he snuggles next to me. To no avail, I try to keep distance between us, but Spike pulls my body flush against him torso, wrapping his left arm snugly around my waist. Instantly, drowsiness overwhelms me, and I decide to deal with the consequences in the morning.
TBC. . . Buffy and Spike prepare to head for Earth. What will become of their relationship? How will they cope on Earth again?
Sorry this part took so long, but I'm in grad school and had to take my qualifying exams. More will be coming soon cause I passed! *g*
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!! They mean a lot!