The portal threw her to the ground. She looked up at the dark sky. It was now raining. She was in some sort of park, all alone. She knelt down to the ground, crying. "Why...." She sobbed to herself, arms wrapped around her shoulders to keep warm. She rocked herself slightly, in tears. She stood slowly, looking up at the sky, screaming.. "Jenny! Jenny! Where are you!" The tears were coming on stronger now. She stood there for a few minutes, just staring up at the sky, but no one came to her. She looked down, and then took of running down the street, no idea where she was, but she knew where she was going.
She ran through the rainy streets, occasionally wiping the tears from her eyes, or moving the wet hair from her face. She ran through an alley, glancing up, recognizing something familiar. She jumped up on a ladder leading to an apartment above the alley. She quickly climbed the ladder, and with her fist, broke the window to the apartment and jumped in.
There she was, in Ken's apartment. Below the window was the portal that was crystallized before her eyes when Lily had escaped with her help. She jumped down on it, looking around for something, anything. She grabbed a chair from nearby and broke it against the wall. Holding one of it's legs like a baseball bat, she began to hit the portal with all her might, trying anything to break it. "Angel!" She screamed, trying as much as she could to get somewhere. But she couldn't get anywhere. Not even a crack. Nothing. After about ten minutes of trying, she fell to the ground in tears, "Why..." She sobbed for what it seemed like hours, until she was interrupted when someone ran into the room.
Lily stood there at the door for a moment, watching Buffy. "Buffy?" She approached Buffy slowly, then knelt down to the floor where Buffy was, sobbing. "Buffy..." She reached out a hand to her, but she did not move. She just lay there, hand on the portal, wondering what else she could do to break it open.
"Buffy?" Lily repeated again, "What's wrong?"
But Buffy wouldn't speak.
***
Buffy laid asleep on her bed in her apartment, the blanket wrapped around her. Her hair was still soaked from the rain. Lily sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do. Buffy wouldn't speak, she wouldn't even eat. For a while Buffy had spent the time just staring off at the wall, not even blinking.
Lily was extremely worried about Buffy. She didn't know what she could do to help her. She didn't understand why she was so upset.
Lily stood from the bed, looking around the room for anything. She noticed Buffy's bag lying on the floor against the wall. She knelt down to the ground and opened it, looking through it. She came across an address book of Buffy's. She flipped through it quickly. Giles... Harris... Rosenberg... Summers. That was it! Summers... it had to be Buffy's house. She knew her mom had to be worried about her. Maybe Buffy didn't want to speak to her though, she didn't know. But if it helped her in the long run, she would do anything. She picked up the book and walked into the other room, where the phone was lying on the floor on top of a box in the corner. She picked up the reciever, and dialed the number quickly.
****
Joyce was lying in her bed, reading a book when the phone rang. She glanced over at the clock next to the bed. It was past midnight. "Who would be calling this late?" She sighed then set the book down on the bed and picked up the phone slowly. "Hello?" She listened for a few minutes, and look of happiness spread over her face, "Buffy? She's... she's okay... " She paused, listening more and spoke once more. She grabbed a pen off the table, then scrbbled something onto the cover of her book, lacking a peice of paper. "I'll be there tonight. Thank you, Lily."
**
"Are you sure she said this address?" Giles asked, looking up at the tall building above the city street, "It looks abandoned."
Joyce looked down at the book in her hands where the address was scribbled, "Yes, it says it right here."
Willow, Xander, and Oz jumped out of the back of Joyce's jeep, looking up at the building. Xander was the first to comment.
"The Buffster has been staying here? Wow... Just when I thought she had taste."
"Taste?" Willow looks to him, "Since when do you know about taste?"
"Since when did you turn into Cordelia?" Xander smiles at Willow.
"I can't believe we finally found her." Willow said, changing the subject.. "It seems like forever since we last saw her..."
"It's probably been even longer for her." Giles said, turning to them. "We need to get inside... see how she's doing."
The group entered the building, starting in a big long hallway, not really that bad looking, but not that good either. A cockroach made its way across the floor, and Joyce jumped. "She's been living.. here?" A look of sadness crossed her face, "It's all my fault..."
"No, it's not anyone's fault." Giles said, making his way up the stairs, leading the group. "She just needed some time to get over what happened."
"What did happen?" Willow asked, following Joyce and Giles. "I mean, none of us really know. Only her..." "Maybe she'll finally give us some answers."
They stood before a door on the second floor, Giles in the lead. He had his hand ready to knock, "Everyone ready?"
"Ready as we'll ever be." Xander spoke, watching the door.
Giles knocked quietly, waiting for someone to answer the door. A few moments later, the door opened, and there stood Lily, arms crossed over her chest. She looked at the group, tired. "She's.. she's in here..."
The group followed Lily into the room Buffy was asleep in. Joyce was the first to see her... and immediately she ran to the bed, sitting on it's edge, looking at Buffy. She turned to Lily, "What's wrong with her?"
"I don't know... She hasn't talked.. since..."
"Since what?"
"Since we went to hell..."
"I beg your pardon?" Giles looked over at Lily curiously, "Hell?"
Lily nodded, "She... she saved me... This man.. he tricked me... told me my boyfriend was with him... And I was taken to this hell... place... Buffy... She saved me... and a bunch of other young people who were down there. Well we got out.. and she.. she didn't. He caught her. Took her back there. I didn't know what to do... I couldn't get her out... And then.. On my way out I heard something break from inside the room the portal was in.. The portal he pushed me into, into hell.. So I went back into the room, and I saw Buffy. She was lying there... on the floor... sobbing... She wouldn't speak." She glanced down at Buffy, "Thats when I brought her back here... She's been asleep since around midnight... And then I called you." She looked to Joyce. "I didn't know if you would be there... I found a book of numbers, and I called what I thought was hers..."
Joyce looked up at Lily, "You did the right thing. We've been looking for her since she left... We've been so worried about her." She focuses back on Buffy. "Nothing has been the same since she left..." She placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder and shook her slowly, "Buffy? Buffy.."
Buffy opened her eyes slowly, looking up at Joyce. Her eyes questioned, but nothing came out of her mouth. She mouthed, "Mom?" But the word never did come past her lips. She glanced around the room, noticing Giles, Willow, Xander and Oz behind her mother. She sat up slowly, her cheeks still stained with tears.
"Hey Buff." Xander was the first of the gang to speak.
"Hi Buffy..." "Hi Buffy..." "Hello Buffy." The words just seamed to float around the room, until Buffy focused her attention back to Lily who was leaning against the wall, watching them all.
"I had to call her." Lily said to Buffy, "I'm sorry... I just think you need them right now."
"Yeah, Buffy.. how long were you going to stay away?" Xander said, from behind Giles. But Buffy said nothing back, which made Xander a little angry. "I think we deserve atleast an explination."
Buffy just sat there, staring at all of them, still quiet. She looked down at the sheets on the bed, sighing.
"Com'on Buffy.. You need to explain to us just what happened to you. Or do you not want to talk about Angel?"
Buffy looked up at Xander, glaring, "Shut up!"
"Well at least we know someone didn't steal her voicebox."
"Why don't you leave me alone." She looks to all of them, "I was happier without you guys here.. Now go!"
Willow looked over at Buffy, "Happier? HERE?! You don't look very happy to me!"
Oz took Willow's hand, "Willow... calm down..."
"I will not calm down! Listen Buffy! You can't just bail out on us like that!"
"But you have no idea what I went through!"
"Do you have any idea what WE went through? We've spent the summer patroling, and trying to take over what you were doing before you left. Okay, we're not very good at it... but still, Buffy!"
Buffy stood up from the bed, glaring at Willow. "You have NO right to talk to me like that, Willow!"
"Oh I think we all have the right to say what we want to. After what you put us through..."
Lily moved from the wall and stood out, "I.. I don't belong in this.." She slipped out the door silently, as the group faught. Not even sure if they heard her.
Xander looked up as Lily spoke and left, deciding to follow her out.
"Oh you're just going to leave now!" Buffy snapped at Xander as he headed toward the door.
Xander turned and looked at Buffy sadly, "You told me to leave you alone." He slowly walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
"See what you did, Buffy!" Willow spoke, coming a little closer to Buffy.
"What I did? It was your decision to come here!"
"We were worried about you!"
"I don't want you to worry about me!"
"Well fine, we just won't worry anymore. Is that what you want? For us to just stop caring? We can't do that!" She walked toward the door, "Or atleast I won't." She left the room, again with a slam.
Oz looked at the group, "Umm.. You know me.. .I have to go... follow." He walked out of the room, following Willow.
Buffy looked around the room at the two remaining visitors. She looked down at the ground, sadly. "I..."
"You're what?" Joyce stood from the bed, looking at Buffy. "Sorry?"
"Well, Yes..."
"You should be... After what you did to us..."
"Bloody hell..." Giles groaned and came closer between the two, "I am tired of hearing everyone blame Buffy for the pain they went through this summer..."
"But it is because of her!"
"Did you ever think of what she might have went through? What could have drove her to this?"
Buffy looked at Giles, admiring him in a way, for sticking up for her. She turned to Joyce... "You told me... If I left.. I couldn't come back."
"I was scared, Buffy! You just told me you were some sort of superhero, and expected me to just nod my head saying 'yes i understand', No!"
"And you think I wasn't scared? Can you imagine being told that you are the only person in the world that could stop something from happening.. that the future of the world was on your shoulders... that if you didn't do this one thing right, the world as we know it would be sucked into hell... and your ex-boyfriend was the one behind the show?" She looked to Joyce seriously, "I don't think you'll ever understand, Mom!"
"I want to, Buffy. If you would just talk to me... Tell me whats going on in your life... You hid this from me for two years!"
"Why did you think I did that, mom? Cause I knew you would freak out! When I first found out it scared the crap out of me, and I don't think you would be the one to like knowing that instead of hanging out with her friends, she has to go save the world on a nightly basis! You've seen the bruises! What did you think they were from?"
"I thought you were fighting again, and I was just scared..."
"Scared of what? That I would get kicked out of school again? Well guess what, I was, again! And you know what is to blame... my destiny! I wish I could be a normal girl.. with a normal life, but that isn't possible! That will NEVER be possible!"
"Buffy..." Giles approached Buffy slowly, "We need to know what happened to you... We won't understand this until you tell us what happened."
"Please, Buffy." Joyce looked to her.
"It's a long story..." She sat down at the bed, looking up at the two of them. "You sure you want to know?"
"Of course we're sure." Joyce sat down at the edge of the bed, while Giles stood up by the window.
"Well... do you know what happened before the last time they saw me?" Buffy turned to Joyce.
"Yes... Mr. Giles explained everything."
"Alright... I'll tell you what happened." She sighed, looking up at the two of them, not sure if she had the power to tell them. "When Xander came and got Giles, I was stuck there with Angel... We fought... and..."
****
"...the portal opened... which would send Angel into hell if she didn't do something." Giles stood before the group outside the apartment, trying to explain what happened to Buffy. "She told me your spell worked, Willow. At the last minute, it worked... But since the portal was already open... She had no choice but to kill him... and send him into hell. But that isn't all... After she was here, she helped Lily escape hell. Lily explained this to you. Buffy helped her escape... but Buffy was taken back in by someone. Now this is what Buffy didn't tell you..." She looked toward Lily, who was with the group, then looked back at them all. "She found Angel there... And the two of them found a way to get out... Another portal, which would send them back here, to our reality."
"So Angel is back here, alive?" Xander interupted.
Giles shook his head, "Let me finish. He didn't come back with her. He was so scared of what we would think of him for what he did when he was evil... He told Buffy he was going to go back with her... So she would go. She wouldn't go without him. But he tricked her. At the last moment he pushed her through the portal. And she couldn't come back to get him. He's still down there..."
"He stayed because of us?" Willow looked to Giles, "That's..."
"Good." Xander said, looking at them all. "I don't know about you all, but I'm glad he's down there. I'll tell you again. I don't like him. I never have. And if you all are going to forgive him for what he did to Miss Calendar..."
"It wasn't his fault, Xandrer." Willow spoke up, "He wasn't himself."
"Well I don't care. I won't forgive him for what he did. I never will." He looked to Giles, "And I don't know how you can either."
"Maybe a part of me won't ever forgive him. And I'll still have that memory of him killing her. But one thing you have to remember, Xander, is Willow's right. It wasn't him."
"But it was his fault all of this happened."
"No, it wasn't." Buffy said, from the doorway, behind them. "It wasn't either of our faults. He didn't know what doing that would do to him..."
"Doing that..." Xander scoffed, "Doing that changed all of our lives Buffy."
"I know, and I'm sorry for that. Do you think I don't regret that? I would have never done it if I had known..."
"Yeah, sure you wouldn't have. I really doubt that."
Willow stood, looking at Xander angrily, "Will you just shut up! Alright?! We're not here to judge her for what she did, or what she could have done differently to change everything. The important thing is that we have her back. And we know she's alright. And if you forget why we came in the first place, maybe you shouldn't have come."
"I didn't forget why we came." Xander said back to her, "We came back to get Buffy... And we did."
Joyce came out of the doorway behind Buffy, "Will you come back with us?"
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Buffy asked Lily, standing in front of the apartment complex. "We have a spare room at the house... I'm sure mom wouldn't mind."
"No no... you go." Lily smiled, "Strangely, I feel like I belong here."
"Well you know where to reach me if you ever change your mind."
"Thank you, Buffy."
"You're welcome..."
Lily leaned over and gave Buffy a hug, "I mean it... I don't think I would have gotten out of there without you."
Buffy smiled, "Take Care, Lily."
"Bye, Buffy..." She looked to the group at the car, "Bye guys."
They all waved to her and got into the car. Buffy was the last to get in. She said goodbye again, and got into the car with the gang. A few seconds later, they drove off, on their way back to Sunnydale.
******
The first few days back in Sunnydale were rough for Buffy. Having to settle back in with Joyce at the house, talking with her friends again. It felt akward. Like at any moment they expected her just to run off again. Joyce was always on her case, asking where she was going, giving her a certian time to be home. Although Buffy didn't blame her, she did want a little freedom. She knew she wasn't going to get it for a while. Not till Joyce could trust her again, although, she didn't know when that would be. She didn't even know if she would ever trust her again.
Xander and Willow seemed to be at the house every day. They were all concerned about Buffy, after knowing what she went through while she was in Los Angeles. Even though Xander was still upset with Buffy, he was still her friend. He had to be there for her. He didn't agree with why she was upset, but did he ever agree when it came to Angel? No. He never did like him. But he knew Buffy didn't care what he thought when it came to that.
The three were in Buffy's room, watching television, laying across Buffy's bed. Candy galore scattered all over the palace. But of course, most of it was on Xander's lap.
Halfway through the movie, Willow turned toward Buffy with a sigh, "We could get him out."
"Who? What?" Buffy turned to Willow, "What are you talking about?"
"Hey." Xander spoke up, looking at the two disaprovingly, "I'm trying to watch the movie here."
"Sorry." Buffy whispered, then turned back to Willow, still whispering. "What?"
"I know there has to be a spell... Or something. I have looked through a lot of Giles' books... I've seen a few that could work."
"A spell?" She looked to her, "Are you sure?"
"Well... no. And I don't know if I could do it.. I'm still not a very powerful witch... but Giles can help me..."
"You honestly think he would? After what Angel did to him?"
*****
"You two are out of your minds!" Giles yelled, looking at the two girls who were before him in his office. "I will not help you with this. I cannot. I can't believe you would even think of coming to me for help! You know what he did to me."
"But, Giles..." Willow whined.
"But what? Oh but Giles, he'll be stuck in hell for all eternity." He tried to mock Willow, then straitened up. "He belongs there. I won't help you."
Xander appeared in the doorway, "And for once the G-man is right..."
Giles glared at Xander.
"Okay... Again, the G-man is right."
"Please, Giles." Buffy looked toward him, "You're our only hope. We need to get him out of there."
"No, you need to get him out of there, just so you can have your boyfriend back." Xander spoke up again. "Why don't you just leave Giles alone, hasn't he been through enough? First finding Miss Calendar dead..."
Buffy approached him slowly, "That wasn't Angel."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. It was Angelus, who was called because of your mistake. Getting groiny... breaking the curse, putting all of us in danger, but oh wait, we're in Buffy's world here.. who cares if we're in danger, as long as she's happ--"
Buffy pulled her hand back, and slapped Xander across the face, hitting him with so much force he falls against the door of the office. "Shut up! Just shut up!" She ran out of the office and out of the library.
Willow looks over at Xander, who was now holding his cheek. "Don't talk to me, Xander," She rushed out after Buffy.
*****
Buffy sat on the floor in the hall before the library doors, her head in her hands. She was staring strait down at the floor when Willow came out, running out of the library, but stopped when she saw Buffy.
Willow slowly approached, and sat down next to Buffy on the floor. "We don't need Giles, you know... We.. We can try it on our own..."
"It's a dangerous spell, Willow. We can't. We need Giles."
"No. We can try. We might not suceed but if we do, Buffy..."
"It will be worth it..."
Willow nodded to her, "Why not just give it a try?"
Principal Snyder stood in front of them, "Ahem." He looked toward Buffy, "You're not supposted to be here."
"What? Why not? It's a free country..."
Willow turns toward Buffy, "Oh.. that's what we forgot to tell--"
"You're not allowed on campus anymore, Miss Summers. You better go."
"Or else what?"
"We'll get the cops out here... You're tresspassing."
"Fine..." Buffy looked up at Willow and stood, "Okay... Lets do it."
***
Buffy sat before Willow on the floor of her room, "What do we have to do?"
Willow glanced down at a book in her hands, trying desperately to translate the text. "I think I just say the words written here..."
"Say the words? Oh, that's easy."
Willow nodded, "Yeah, that's all I have to do."
"Alright, lets do it."
"O-okay, well...here I go," she focused on the words mentally replaying what she hoped they meant over in her head. "From the mortal coil of this world, do I summon the power to bring forth what was lost. And by this power to a smite onto the earth the being of pain and torment...in his true form. And let then it fester and set until brought forth again." Willow tentatively closed the book and let her gaze flit to Buffy who was now trembling. "Buffy?"
Buffy's arms went to wrap around her waist and she cried out in pain. Slowly she sunk down to the floor, whimpering in pain. "Willow?"
She dropped the book and went to put an arm around Buffy, hugging her closely. "Buffy, what's wrong?" She let out a mind-numbing scream and fell limp in Willow's arms. She panicked. "Buffy? Buffy, come on...don't...please wake up!" She quickly checked for a pulse and relaxed at finding it -- though it was sputtering at an insane rate. She gently laid her back on the floor and nabbed a pillow to put under her head. Then she ran for the phone, dialing the infamous 911 call.
********
"What happend, Willow?" Giles stood before Willow in the waiting room, watching her closely. "What happened to her?"
"We... We were doing a spell..."
"A spell? The spell I told you I wouldn't help you with?"
"Y-- Yes... I thought I could do it... but.. It didn't work..."
"This is exactly why I told you no Willow!" He glared at her, "The spell was way too dangerous, even for me. Now look what happened."
"I'm... I'm sorry."
"You should be, Willow. You really should be."
The doctor entered the room slowly, "Is Mrs. Summers here?"
"She's out of town on business... We're close friends of Buffy's," Giles spoke to the doctor, worried.
"Well... Buffy is in acoma. We don't know if she's going to come out of it. It's very serious. We don't know how much longer she'll last... Maybe a week, If not days..."
"A week?" Giles looked to the doctor, "A week? What exactly did happen to her, doctor?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out." The doctor sighed, "The chemicals in her brain simultaneously were disturbed -- why we're not sure, but it caused an epileptic siezure of sorts.."
"Are you sure you found her like this?" The doctor looked toward Willow, "You didn't see what happened to her?"
"I.. I.. No.. I didn't see anything."
The doctor looked at her suspiciously and sighed, "Alright. Well.. You can't see her yet, but we'll let you know when you can. We've still got a lot of tests to run."
****
"Why would you do the oposite of what Giles told you to do?" Xander asked Willow, from across a table in the hospital lounge. "I mean... You're not even a full-fledged witch..."
"I.. I wanted to help her, and Giles wouldn't."
"You should have known not to do it, Willow." Giles spoke up, "A spell like that could kill someone if it's not done correctly."
"For example... Buffy." Cordy spoke up and sighed.
"What language was this spell in?" Giles asked Willow, in all seriousness.
"Gaelic."
"You tried to translate Gaelic? Do you have any idea how complicated that language is? One letter in a word could make a world of difference if it were replaced. You could have said the wrong spell. Without a doubt, you probably did."
"I didn't mean to."
"Maybe you should give up the witch thing." Cordy looked toward Willow, trying in her own special way to help. "I mean, obviously it isn't working out very well."
"Yeah, I think Cordy could do better than you could," Xander sighed.
"Thank yo--" Cordelia couldn't finish her sentence, instead Willow interupted.
"Will you just shut up, Xander."
"No. I won't. Alright, you've put Buffy in serious danger. That's not something that we can just forgive."
"But I didn't mean it!" Willow whined and laid her head down on the table.
"Hey." Oz spoke up, sitting next to Willow. "Maybe you guys should just give it a rest, huh? She's been through alot too, you know."
"Oh yeah, knowing that you're at fault for your best friend close to death." Xander sighed, "I'm sorry, I can't look at her anymore." He stood from the table and walked away toward a group of chairs.
"I'm gunna go, too." Cordy spoke, then got up, following Xander.
****
"They don't understand..." Willow spoke, to Oz at a group of chairs somewhere away from the entire group.
"Well, they do have a point."
"What?" Willow looked up at Oz, somewhat hurt.
"No no, Willow.. I understand how you wanted to help Buffy." He reached down and took her hand, "But you have to think about what they're going through right now. Knowing that what you did... did this to her."
"But I didn't mean to." She said, for what it seememed like the hundredth time that night.
"I know, I know. You were trying to help. But maybe you should have listened to Giles the first time..."
"Who's side are you on here?"
"Right now, I don't know, Willow. Don't get angry at me for this. You shouldn't. You need to understand what you did..."
"I do understand. But it wasn't my fault... I was just trying to help."
"Maybe right now what you need to do to make it up to them... find something that could help Buffy... get her out of this acoma. And don't do a spell... Just find one... for Giles..."
"You think there would be one?"
"There should be. There have been spells for everything else, haven't there?"
"I'll look... I think I should go anyway, the hostility here is too much for me to handle... But could you..."
"I'll talk to Xander." Oz said, knowing exactly what she was thinking.
"Thank you." Willow wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug, "I'll be back soon."
"Alright." He kissed her cheek and let go of her.
***
"All I'm saying is that I think you should just give her a chance."
"Give her a chance to what?"
"Earn her redemption."
"It's hurting her to know what she did. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute.. as hard it would be to like Angel..."
"Yeah.."
"Alright so your best friend is in love, and the only way you think she would be happy is if she can have that love again. You've got spell books, you know a few little spells. You're not ready for the big stuff, yet you think you might be able to help this friend." Oz sighs, "So you do the spell... and your friend gets hurt. Now all you want is to make it right again, because all of your friends are at your throat, and your best friend is close to death. How would you feel if you were feeling that, Xander?"
Xander was silent for a moment, then he looked up at Oz with a sigh, "I guess you do have a point. I just wish she had thought about it before she did it... then we wouldn't be in this mess."
"She just wanted to help Buffy. That's all. She didn't want to hurt her. And she wants you to see that."
"I do. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on her, everyone makes mistakes. I'm just worried about Buffy."
"I think we all are..."
"Where is Willow anyway?"
"At the library, looking for more spells.."
"She's not gunna..."
"No, no.. She's just going to try to find one for Giles."
Xander gave a sigh of relief, "Good."
***
Willow sat in the stacks of the library, books scattered around the floor. She leaned against a shelf against the wall, a few books on her lap, and one in her hands. She flipped through the book quickly, then tossed it up. "I'm not getting anywhere..."
She had no idea how far she had actually tossed the book. A few seconds later she heard someone scream out in pain, "Ow!" The book had hit someone in the library. Question was, who was in the library.
Willow pushed the books off her lap, and stood slowly, looking between the stacks. She couldn't see anyone. She turned the corner and saw Xander standing there. "Xander."
"Hey..." He said softly, holding a pile of books in his hands. "Need any help?"
"Yeah..." Willow smiled slightly, "That would be great."
She ran through the rainy streets, occasionally wiping the tears from her eyes, or moving the wet hair from her face. She ran through an alley, glancing up, recognizing something familiar. She jumped up on a ladder leading to an apartment above the alley. She quickly climbed the ladder, and with her fist, broke the window to the apartment and jumped in.
There she was, in Ken's apartment. Below the window was the portal that was crystallized before her eyes when Lily had escaped with her help. She jumped down on it, looking around for something, anything. She grabbed a chair from nearby and broke it against the wall. Holding one of it's legs like a baseball bat, she began to hit the portal with all her might, trying anything to break it. "Angel!" She screamed, trying as much as she could to get somewhere. But she couldn't get anywhere. Not even a crack. Nothing. After about ten minutes of trying, she fell to the ground in tears, "Why..." She sobbed for what it seemed like hours, until she was interrupted when someone ran into the room.
Lily stood there at the door for a moment, watching Buffy. "Buffy?" She approached Buffy slowly, then knelt down to the floor where Buffy was, sobbing. "Buffy..." She reached out a hand to her, but she did not move. She just lay there, hand on the portal, wondering what else she could do to break it open.
"Buffy?" Lily repeated again, "What's wrong?"
But Buffy wouldn't speak.
***
Buffy laid asleep on her bed in her apartment, the blanket wrapped around her. Her hair was still soaked from the rain. Lily sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do. Buffy wouldn't speak, she wouldn't even eat. For a while Buffy had spent the time just staring off at the wall, not even blinking.
Lily was extremely worried about Buffy. She didn't know what she could do to help her. She didn't understand why she was so upset.
Lily stood from the bed, looking around the room for anything. She noticed Buffy's bag lying on the floor against the wall. She knelt down to the ground and opened it, looking through it. She came across an address book of Buffy's. She flipped through it quickly. Giles... Harris... Rosenberg... Summers. That was it! Summers... it had to be Buffy's house. She knew her mom had to be worried about her. Maybe Buffy didn't want to speak to her though, she didn't know. But if it helped her in the long run, she would do anything. She picked up the book and walked into the other room, where the phone was lying on the floor on top of a box in the corner. She picked up the reciever, and dialed the number quickly.
****
Joyce was lying in her bed, reading a book when the phone rang. She glanced over at the clock next to the bed. It was past midnight. "Who would be calling this late?" She sighed then set the book down on the bed and picked up the phone slowly. "Hello?" She listened for a few minutes, and look of happiness spread over her face, "Buffy? She's... she's okay... " She paused, listening more and spoke once more. She grabbed a pen off the table, then scrbbled something onto the cover of her book, lacking a peice of paper. "I'll be there tonight. Thank you, Lily."
**
"Are you sure she said this address?" Giles asked, looking up at the tall building above the city street, "It looks abandoned."
Joyce looked down at the book in her hands where the address was scribbled, "Yes, it says it right here."
Willow, Xander, and Oz jumped out of the back of Joyce's jeep, looking up at the building. Xander was the first to comment.
"The Buffster has been staying here? Wow... Just when I thought she had taste."
"Taste?" Willow looks to him, "Since when do you know about taste?"
"Since when did you turn into Cordelia?" Xander smiles at Willow.
"I can't believe we finally found her." Willow said, changing the subject.. "It seems like forever since we last saw her..."
"It's probably been even longer for her." Giles said, turning to them. "We need to get inside... see how she's doing."
The group entered the building, starting in a big long hallway, not really that bad looking, but not that good either. A cockroach made its way across the floor, and Joyce jumped. "She's been living.. here?" A look of sadness crossed her face, "It's all my fault..."
"No, it's not anyone's fault." Giles said, making his way up the stairs, leading the group. "She just needed some time to get over what happened."
"What did happen?" Willow asked, following Joyce and Giles. "I mean, none of us really know. Only her..." "Maybe she'll finally give us some answers."
They stood before a door on the second floor, Giles in the lead. He had his hand ready to knock, "Everyone ready?"
"Ready as we'll ever be." Xander spoke, watching the door.
Giles knocked quietly, waiting for someone to answer the door. A few moments later, the door opened, and there stood Lily, arms crossed over her chest. She looked at the group, tired. "She's.. she's in here..."
The group followed Lily into the room Buffy was asleep in. Joyce was the first to see her... and immediately she ran to the bed, sitting on it's edge, looking at Buffy. She turned to Lily, "What's wrong with her?"
"I don't know... She hasn't talked.. since..."
"Since what?"
"Since we went to hell..."
"I beg your pardon?" Giles looked over at Lily curiously, "Hell?"
Lily nodded, "She... she saved me... This man.. he tricked me... told me my boyfriend was with him... And I was taken to this hell... place... Buffy... She saved me... and a bunch of other young people who were down there. Well we got out.. and she.. she didn't. He caught her. Took her back there. I didn't know what to do... I couldn't get her out... And then.. On my way out I heard something break from inside the room the portal was in.. The portal he pushed me into, into hell.. So I went back into the room, and I saw Buffy. She was lying there... on the floor... sobbing... She wouldn't speak." She glanced down at Buffy, "Thats when I brought her back here... She's been asleep since around midnight... And then I called you." She looked to Joyce. "I didn't know if you would be there... I found a book of numbers, and I called what I thought was hers..."
Joyce looked up at Lily, "You did the right thing. We've been looking for her since she left... We've been so worried about her." She focuses back on Buffy. "Nothing has been the same since she left..." She placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder and shook her slowly, "Buffy? Buffy.."
Buffy opened her eyes slowly, looking up at Joyce. Her eyes questioned, but nothing came out of her mouth. She mouthed, "Mom?" But the word never did come past her lips. She glanced around the room, noticing Giles, Willow, Xander and Oz behind her mother. She sat up slowly, her cheeks still stained with tears.
"Hey Buff." Xander was the first of the gang to speak.
"Hi Buffy..." "Hi Buffy..." "Hello Buffy." The words just seamed to float around the room, until Buffy focused her attention back to Lily who was leaning against the wall, watching them all.
"I had to call her." Lily said to Buffy, "I'm sorry... I just think you need them right now."
"Yeah, Buffy.. how long were you going to stay away?" Xander said, from behind Giles. But Buffy said nothing back, which made Xander a little angry. "I think we deserve atleast an explination."
Buffy just sat there, staring at all of them, still quiet. She looked down at the sheets on the bed, sighing.
"Com'on Buffy.. You need to explain to us just what happened to you. Or do you not want to talk about Angel?"
Buffy looked up at Xander, glaring, "Shut up!"
"Well at least we know someone didn't steal her voicebox."
"Why don't you leave me alone." She looks to all of them, "I was happier without you guys here.. Now go!"
Willow looked over at Buffy, "Happier? HERE?! You don't look very happy to me!"
Oz took Willow's hand, "Willow... calm down..."
"I will not calm down! Listen Buffy! You can't just bail out on us like that!"
"But you have no idea what I went through!"
"Do you have any idea what WE went through? We've spent the summer patroling, and trying to take over what you were doing before you left. Okay, we're not very good at it... but still, Buffy!"
Buffy stood up from the bed, glaring at Willow. "You have NO right to talk to me like that, Willow!"
"Oh I think we all have the right to say what we want to. After what you put us through..."
Lily moved from the wall and stood out, "I.. I don't belong in this.." She slipped out the door silently, as the group faught. Not even sure if they heard her.
Xander looked up as Lily spoke and left, deciding to follow her out.
"Oh you're just going to leave now!" Buffy snapped at Xander as he headed toward the door.
Xander turned and looked at Buffy sadly, "You told me to leave you alone." He slowly walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
"See what you did, Buffy!" Willow spoke, coming a little closer to Buffy.
"What I did? It was your decision to come here!"
"We were worried about you!"
"I don't want you to worry about me!"
"Well fine, we just won't worry anymore. Is that what you want? For us to just stop caring? We can't do that!" She walked toward the door, "Or atleast I won't." She left the room, again with a slam.
Oz looked at the group, "Umm.. You know me.. .I have to go... follow." He walked out of the room, following Willow.
Buffy looked around the room at the two remaining visitors. She looked down at the ground, sadly. "I..."
"You're what?" Joyce stood from the bed, looking at Buffy. "Sorry?"
"Well, Yes..."
"You should be... After what you did to us..."
"Bloody hell..." Giles groaned and came closer between the two, "I am tired of hearing everyone blame Buffy for the pain they went through this summer..."
"But it is because of her!"
"Did you ever think of what she might have went through? What could have drove her to this?"
Buffy looked at Giles, admiring him in a way, for sticking up for her. She turned to Joyce... "You told me... If I left.. I couldn't come back."
"I was scared, Buffy! You just told me you were some sort of superhero, and expected me to just nod my head saying 'yes i understand', No!"
"And you think I wasn't scared? Can you imagine being told that you are the only person in the world that could stop something from happening.. that the future of the world was on your shoulders... that if you didn't do this one thing right, the world as we know it would be sucked into hell... and your ex-boyfriend was the one behind the show?" She looked to Joyce seriously, "I don't think you'll ever understand, Mom!"
"I want to, Buffy. If you would just talk to me... Tell me whats going on in your life... You hid this from me for two years!"
"Why did you think I did that, mom? Cause I knew you would freak out! When I first found out it scared the crap out of me, and I don't think you would be the one to like knowing that instead of hanging out with her friends, she has to go save the world on a nightly basis! You've seen the bruises! What did you think they were from?"
"I thought you were fighting again, and I was just scared..."
"Scared of what? That I would get kicked out of school again? Well guess what, I was, again! And you know what is to blame... my destiny! I wish I could be a normal girl.. with a normal life, but that isn't possible! That will NEVER be possible!"
"Buffy..." Giles approached Buffy slowly, "We need to know what happened to you... We won't understand this until you tell us what happened."
"Please, Buffy." Joyce looked to her.
"It's a long story..." She sat down at the bed, looking up at the two of them. "You sure you want to know?"
"Of course we're sure." Joyce sat down at the edge of the bed, while Giles stood up by the window.
"Well... do you know what happened before the last time they saw me?" Buffy turned to Joyce.
"Yes... Mr. Giles explained everything."
"Alright... I'll tell you what happened." She sighed, looking up at the two of them, not sure if she had the power to tell them. "When Xander came and got Giles, I was stuck there with Angel... We fought... and..."
****
"...the portal opened... which would send Angel into hell if she didn't do something." Giles stood before the group outside the apartment, trying to explain what happened to Buffy. "She told me your spell worked, Willow. At the last minute, it worked... But since the portal was already open... She had no choice but to kill him... and send him into hell. But that isn't all... After she was here, she helped Lily escape hell. Lily explained this to you. Buffy helped her escape... but Buffy was taken back in by someone. Now this is what Buffy didn't tell you..." She looked toward Lily, who was with the group, then looked back at them all. "She found Angel there... And the two of them found a way to get out... Another portal, which would send them back here, to our reality."
"So Angel is back here, alive?" Xander interupted.
Giles shook his head, "Let me finish. He didn't come back with her. He was so scared of what we would think of him for what he did when he was evil... He told Buffy he was going to go back with her... So she would go. She wouldn't go without him. But he tricked her. At the last moment he pushed her through the portal. And she couldn't come back to get him. He's still down there..."
"He stayed because of us?" Willow looked to Giles, "That's..."
"Good." Xander said, looking at them all. "I don't know about you all, but I'm glad he's down there. I'll tell you again. I don't like him. I never have. And if you all are going to forgive him for what he did to Miss Calendar..."
"It wasn't his fault, Xandrer." Willow spoke up, "He wasn't himself."
"Well I don't care. I won't forgive him for what he did. I never will." He looked to Giles, "And I don't know how you can either."
"Maybe a part of me won't ever forgive him. And I'll still have that memory of him killing her. But one thing you have to remember, Xander, is Willow's right. It wasn't him."
"But it was his fault all of this happened."
"No, it wasn't." Buffy said, from the doorway, behind them. "It wasn't either of our faults. He didn't know what doing that would do to him..."
"Doing that..." Xander scoffed, "Doing that changed all of our lives Buffy."
"I know, and I'm sorry for that. Do you think I don't regret that? I would have never done it if I had known..."
"Yeah, sure you wouldn't have. I really doubt that."
Willow stood, looking at Xander angrily, "Will you just shut up! Alright?! We're not here to judge her for what she did, or what she could have done differently to change everything. The important thing is that we have her back. And we know she's alright. And if you forget why we came in the first place, maybe you shouldn't have come."
"I didn't forget why we came." Xander said back to her, "We came back to get Buffy... And we did."
Joyce came out of the doorway behind Buffy, "Will you come back with us?"
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Buffy asked Lily, standing in front of the apartment complex. "We have a spare room at the house... I'm sure mom wouldn't mind."
"No no... you go." Lily smiled, "Strangely, I feel like I belong here."
"Well you know where to reach me if you ever change your mind."
"Thank you, Buffy."
"You're welcome..."
Lily leaned over and gave Buffy a hug, "I mean it... I don't think I would have gotten out of there without you."
Buffy smiled, "Take Care, Lily."
"Bye, Buffy..." She looked to the group at the car, "Bye guys."
They all waved to her and got into the car. Buffy was the last to get in. She said goodbye again, and got into the car with the gang. A few seconds later, they drove off, on their way back to Sunnydale.
******
The first few days back in Sunnydale were rough for Buffy. Having to settle back in with Joyce at the house, talking with her friends again. It felt akward. Like at any moment they expected her just to run off again. Joyce was always on her case, asking where she was going, giving her a certian time to be home. Although Buffy didn't blame her, she did want a little freedom. She knew she wasn't going to get it for a while. Not till Joyce could trust her again, although, she didn't know when that would be. She didn't even know if she would ever trust her again.
Xander and Willow seemed to be at the house every day. They were all concerned about Buffy, after knowing what she went through while she was in Los Angeles. Even though Xander was still upset with Buffy, he was still her friend. He had to be there for her. He didn't agree with why she was upset, but did he ever agree when it came to Angel? No. He never did like him. But he knew Buffy didn't care what he thought when it came to that.
The three were in Buffy's room, watching television, laying across Buffy's bed. Candy galore scattered all over the palace. But of course, most of it was on Xander's lap.
Halfway through the movie, Willow turned toward Buffy with a sigh, "We could get him out."
"Who? What?" Buffy turned to Willow, "What are you talking about?"
"Hey." Xander spoke up, looking at the two disaprovingly, "I'm trying to watch the movie here."
"Sorry." Buffy whispered, then turned back to Willow, still whispering. "What?"
"I know there has to be a spell... Or something. I have looked through a lot of Giles' books... I've seen a few that could work."
"A spell?" She looked to her, "Are you sure?"
"Well... no. And I don't know if I could do it.. I'm still not a very powerful witch... but Giles can help me..."
"You honestly think he would? After what Angel did to him?"
*****
"You two are out of your minds!" Giles yelled, looking at the two girls who were before him in his office. "I will not help you with this. I cannot. I can't believe you would even think of coming to me for help! You know what he did to me."
"But, Giles..." Willow whined.
"But what? Oh but Giles, he'll be stuck in hell for all eternity." He tried to mock Willow, then straitened up. "He belongs there. I won't help you."
Xander appeared in the doorway, "And for once the G-man is right..."
Giles glared at Xander.
"Okay... Again, the G-man is right."
"Please, Giles." Buffy looked toward him, "You're our only hope. We need to get him out of there."
"No, you need to get him out of there, just so you can have your boyfriend back." Xander spoke up again. "Why don't you just leave Giles alone, hasn't he been through enough? First finding Miss Calendar dead..."
Buffy approached him slowly, "That wasn't Angel."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. It was Angelus, who was called because of your mistake. Getting groiny... breaking the curse, putting all of us in danger, but oh wait, we're in Buffy's world here.. who cares if we're in danger, as long as she's happ--"
Buffy pulled her hand back, and slapped Xander across the face, hitting him with so much force he falls against the door of the office. "Shut up! Just shut up!" She ran out of the office and out of the library.
Willow looks over at Xander, who was now holding his cheek. "Don't talk to me, Xander," She rushed out after Buffy.
*****
Buffy sat on the floor in the hall before the library doors, her head in her hands. She was staring strait down at the floor when Willow came out, running out of the library, but stopped when she saw Buffy.
Willow slowly approached, and sat down next to Buffy on the floor. "We don't need Giles, you know... We.. We can try it on our own..."
"It's a dangerous spell, Willow. We can't. We need Giles."
"No. We can try. We might not suceed but if we do, Buffy..."
"It will be worth it..."
Willow nodded to her, "Why not just give it a try?"
Principal Snyder stood in front of them, "Ahem." He looked toward Buffy, "You're not supposted to be here."
"What? Why not? It's a free country..."
Willow turns toward Buffy, "Oh.. that's what we forgot to tell--"
"You're not allowed on campus anymore, Miss Summers. You better go."
"Or else what?"
"We'll get the cops out here... You're tresspassing."
"Fine..." Buffy looked up at Willow and stood, "Okay... Lets do it."
***
Buffy sat before Willow on the floor of her room, "What do we have to do?"
Willow glanced down at a book in her hands, trying desperately to translate the text. "I think I just say the words written here..."
"Say the words? Oh, that's easy."
Willow nodded, "Yeah, that's all I have to do."
"Alright, lets do it."
"O-okay, well...here I go," she focused on the words mentally replaying what she hoped they meant over in her head. "From the mortal coil of this world, do I summon the power to bring forth what was lost. And by this power to a smite onto the earth the being of pain and torment...in his true form. And let then it fester and set until brought forth again." Willow tentatively closed the book and let her gaze flit to Buffy who was now trembling. "Buffy?"
Buffy's arms went to wrap around her waist and she cried out in pain. Slowly she sunk down to the floor, whimpering in pain. "Willow?"
She dropped the book and went to put an arm around Buffy, hugging her closely. "Buffy, what's wrong?" She let out a mind-numbing scream and fell limp in Willow's arms. She panicked. "Buffy? Buffy, come on...don't...please wake up!" She quickly checked for a pulse and relaxed at finding it -- though it was sputtering at an insane rate. She gently laid her back on the floor and nabbed a pillow to put under her head. Then she ran for the phone, dialing the infamous 911 call.
********
"What happend, Willow?" Giles stood before Willow in the waiting room, watching her closely. "What happened to her?"
"We... We were doing a spell..."
"A spell? The spell I told you I wouldn't help you with?"
"Y-- Yes... I thought I could do it... but.. It didn't work..."
"This is exactly why I told you no Willow!" He glared at her, "The spell was way too dangerous, even for me. Now look what happened."
"I'm... I'm sorry."
"You should be, Willow. You really should be."
The doctor entered the room slowly, "Is Mrs. Summers here?"
"She's out of town on business... We're close friends of Buffy's," Giles spoke to the doctor, worried.
"Well... Buffy is in acoma. We don't know if she's going to come out of it. It's very serious. We don't know how much longer she'll last... Maybe a week, If not days..."
"A week?" Giles looked to the doctor, "A week? What exactly did happen to her, doctor?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out." The doctor sighed, "The chemicals in her brain simultaneously were disturbed -- why we're not sure, but it caused an epileptic siezure of sorts.."
"Are you sure you found her like this?" The doctor looked toward Willow, "You didn't see what happened to her?"
"I.. I.. No.. I didn't see anything."
The doctor looked at her suspiciously and sighed, "Alright. Well.. You can't see her yet, but we'll let you know when you can. We've still got a lot of tests to run."
****
"Why would you do the oposite of what Giles told you to do?" Xander asked Willow, from across a table in the hospital lounge. "I mean... You're not even a full-fledged witch..."
"I.. I wanted to help her, and Giles wouldn't."
"You should have known not to do it, Willow." Giles spoke up, "A spell like that could kill someone if it's not done correctly."
"For example... Buffy." Cordy spoke up and sighed.
"What language was this spell in?" Giles asked Willow, in all seriousness.
"Gaelic."
"You tried to translate Gaelic? Do you have any idea how complicated that language is? One letter in a word could make a world of difference if it were replaced. You could have said the wrong spell. Without a doubt, you probably did."
"I didn't mean to."
"Maybe you should give up the witch thing." Cordy looked toward Willow, trying in her own special way to help. "I mean, obviously it isn't working out very well."
"Yeah, I think Cordy could do better than you could," Xander sighed.
"Thank yo--" Cordelia couldn't finish her sentence, instead Willow interupted.
"Will you just shut up, Xander."
"No. I won't. Alright, you've put Buffy in serious danger. That's not something that we can just forgive."
"But I didn't mean it!" Willow whined and laid her head down on the table.
"Hey." Oz spoke up, sitting next to Willow. "Maybe you guys should just give it a rest, huh? She's been through alot too, you know."
"Oh yeah, knowing that you're at fault for your best friend close to death." Xander sighed, "I'm sorry, I can't look at her anymore." He stood from the table and walked away toward a group of chairs.
"I'm gunna go, too." Cordy spoke, then got up, following Xander.
****
"They don't understand..." Willow spoke, to Oz at a group of chairs somewhere away from the entire group.
"Well, they do have a point."
"What?" Willow looked up at Oz, somewhat hurt.
"No no, Willow.. I understand how you wanted to help Buffy." He reached down and took her hand, "But you have to think about what they're going through right now. Knowing that what you did... did this to her."
"But I didn't mean to." She said, for what it seememed like the hundredth time that night.
"I know, I know. You were trying to help. But maybe you should have listened to Giles the first time..."
"Who's side are you on here?"
"Right now, I don't know, Willow. Don't get angry at me for this. You shouldn't. You need to understand what you did..."
"I do understand. But it wasn't my fault... I was just trying to help."
"Maybe right now what you need to do to make it up to them... find something that could help Buffy... get her out of this acoma. And don't do a spell... Just find one... for Giles..."
"You think there would be one?"
"There should be. There have been spells for everything else, haven't there?"
"I'll look... I think I should go anyway, the hostility here is too much for me to handle... But could you..."
"I'll talk to Xander." Oz said, knowing exactly what she was thinking.
"Thank you." Willow wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug, "I'll be back soon."
"Alright." He kissed her cheek and let go of her.
***
"All I'm saying is that I think you should just give her a chance."
"Give her a chance to what?"
"Earn her redemption."
"It's hurting her to know what she did. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute.. as hard it would be to like Angel..."
"Yeah.."
"Alright so your best friend is in love, and the only way you think she would be happy is if she can have that love again. You've got spell books, you know a few little spells. You're not ready for the big stuff, yet you think you might be able to help this friend." Oz sighs, "So you do the spell... and your friend gets hurt. Now all you want is to make it right again, because all of your friends are at your throat, and your best friend is close to death. How would you feel if you were feeling that, Xander?"
Xander was silent for a moment, then he looked up at Oz with a sigh, "I guess you do have a point. I just wish she had thought about it before she did it... then we wouldn't be in this mess."
"She just wanted to help Buffy. That's all. She didn't want to hurt her. And she wants you to see that."
"I do. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on her, everyone makes mistakes. I'm just worried about Buffy."
"I think we all are..."
"Where is Willow anyway?"
"At the library, looking for more spells.."
"She's not gunna..."
"No, no.. She's just going to try to find one for Giles."
Xander gave a sigh of relief, "Good."
***
Willow sat in the stacks of the library, books scattered around the floor. She leaned against a shelf against the wall, a few books on her lap, and one in her hands. She flipped through the book quickly, then tossed it up. "I'm not getting anywhere..."
She had no idea how far she had actually tossed the book. A few seconds later she heard someone scream out in pain, "Ow!" The book had hit someone in the library. Question was, who was in the library.
Willow pushed the books off her lap, and stood slowly, looking between the stacks. She couldn't see anyone. She turned the corner and saw Xander standing there. "Xander."
"Hey..." He said softly, holding a pile of books in his hands. "Need any help?"
"Yeah..." Willow smiled slightly, "That would be great."