XIII
"I have not yet been strong enough for the ultimate lion's arrogance and lion's wantonness."
--Friedrich Nietzche

As soon as the mainland came into sight Cabe was up against the window, staring at the jagged cliffs and reefs that bordered the Cetra continent. Kamalyn was up and fidgeting, repositioning his quarterstaff on his back again and again.

"Wow!" Cabe exclaimed. "I mean... wow! That's just... wow!"

Aya glanced over at him, expressionless and totally unperturbed. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Cabe thumped the window a few times for emphasis. "Look at that!" he exclaimed. "It's all sharp and pointy and there's no green at all! This place looks wicked!"

"Centra was destroyed by a Lunar Cry," Tam said. "There's not much life, other than the monsters."

Cabe turned, giving Tam an encouraging grin. "That's what me an' Aya an' Kam are here for," he said. "We'll get anything that comes after us. Trust me!"

Kamalyn re-shifted his quarterstaff for the thousandth time. "Cabe," he warned.

Cabe rolled his eyes. "I know," he groaned. "I'm not gonna get too close to any of the monsters. I'm not stupid."

Kamalyn considered retorting, decided that there was no tactful way to retort, and kept quiet.

"I'm not scared," Tam whispered to no one in particular.

Aya looked over at him, noting the careful way in which he was breathing. "Of course not," she said. "Nothing to be afraid of."

Tam glanced at her, offering a ghost of a smile. "I have to be reasonable," he said. "I know it'll be all right."

Aya glanced out the window. "You daunted?"

Tam thought for a moment. "Yes," he admitted at last.

"I wouldn't have asked you all here if there wasn't a reason," Aya assured. "We've just gotta find things out. It's not so daunting. We're there for each other."

Cabe went very quiet, trying not to get himself drawn into a conversation about Respect, Responsibility and Other Grownup Things. Kamalyn glanced from person to person, sensing something in the atmosphere. "Aya," he started.

"Yeah?"

Kamalyn watched her for a long moment, trying to place his finger on what was wrong with the scene. "We all came here because of you. You convinced us. It's what you wanted."

"Yeah?"

"You aren't smiling."

Aya started, glaring at him with untold vehemence. Kamalyn backed off, wondering what he had done to provoke her. But she didn't retort, didn't even stand--she just lay there, silent and still.

The sound of Tam's breathing filled the room, too steady, too deep. Aya's expression vanished, and she stood and moved over to him. Putting both arms around the younger boy, she held him for a moment. Tam closed his eyes, leaning against her for support. Then, releasing him, Aya walked out of the passenger room and into the hallway leading up to deck.

Kamalyn thought for a moment. "...I don't get it," he said, finally. "What was that all about?"

"Don't treat her like a child, Kam," Tam warned. "She's serious about this one. She wants to find out what happened. It's not a personal victory for her, convincing us to come."

"How do you know?" Kamalyn asked. "I can't tell when she's serious or not."

"I just can," Tam said. "I don't know how, I just... know. And she's dangerous right now. She's--" he cut himself off, wringing his hands nervously. "I... need to lie down," he whispered. "Can you--help me--to a bed?"

Kamalyn rushed to his side, picking up the younger boy gently. "Look, I'm sorry," he said, moving over to the couch and laying him on the cushions. "I don't know what's going on, or how to deal with her. And this mess with her quitting SeeD isn't making anything go any more smoothly."

Tam closed his eyes, moving both hands to his forehead and steadying himself. "I feel dizzy," he said. "Give me a moment."

"Anything I can do?" Kamalyn asked, genuinely concerned.

"No, it's... all right," Tam said. "I get like this, sometimes. It'll go away in a bit." He shook his head slowly. "I don't doubt that this entire thing is a way to get back at her father, but that isn't all it is. I don't think it's even mostly what it is. Don't alienate her, Kam, not now. ...Cabe?"

Cabe jumped. "Eh... yeah?"

"This isn't a game, you know," Tam said.

"Yeah, I know," Cabe grumbled.

"We all need to look out for each other," Tam stressed. "It's... still a while to Centra, isn't it? I think... I'll get some sleep."

Kamalyn nodded. "I think I'll go apologize to Aya," he said reluctantly. "If you hear agonized yells from on dack, that'll be me."

Cabe said nothing, returning his attention to the landscape that was slowly approaching--barren crags and sharp outcroppings that seemed to have grown menacing, all of a sudden.

Aya leaned against the deck railing, staring at the wavelets lapping the ship's hull several meters below. She was paying no attention to the other passengers, and it wasn't until a figure appeared at her elbow that she figured out someone had come up after her.

"Look, Aya--" Kamalyn started, but Aya cut him off.

"If you apologize, I'm going to kill you," she said.

"--sorry," Kamalyn said out of politeness before registering what exactly Aya had told him.

Aya rolled her eyes. "You just don't get it, do you?" she asked.

"Get what?"

"Never mind," Aya growled. "Just never mind. I don't feel like saying anything at the moment, and I really don't feel like saying anything to you. Just leave me alone until we dock."

Kamalyn considered that for a moment, figured that she would still be just as annoyed at him when they docked, decided that he didn't want that, and didn't budge. "Why Centra?" he asked finally.

"Huh?"

"The Sorcerer War took them all over the globe," Kamalyn said. "Why did you want to come to Centra? There's Fisherman's Horizon, the Shumi Village... there are a lot of places we could go other than the Dead Continent. Why did you want to go here?"

Aya stared at the cliffs in front of her. "Because this is where it all went wrong," she said.

"What?"

"This is where Seifer died," she said. "And where the Crystal Pillar shattered. And where Ultimecia's Castle is. Everything seems to happen here, and I want to understand why."

"Do you think you'll find what you're looking for?" Kamalyn asked.

"One way or another, I'm bound to," Aya said. "But... no. I don't think I'm going to learn anything by staring at a battlefield."

Kamalyn was suddenly very, very lost. "But--"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Aya snapped. "Look, it's just an issue I need to work through, and if I'm given enough time, I can get it. You don't need to be so worried about me."

Kamalyn crossed his arms. "Oh?"

"You're like a mother hen, always clucking away at everyone," Aya said. "You're always rules this, regulations that, do you think that's a good idea? Give me a tiny bit of credit, here. I know what I'm doing."

Kamalyn stared at the water. "Why did you want us to come?" he asked.

Aya shook her head. "Please. I'm going to say it's because we're friends. Just believe that, okay?"

"I guess I don't have a choice," Kamalyn said. "But I really wish you'd tell us what's going on."

Aya didn't respond. Quite some time passed in silence.

"I'm going to check on Tam," Kamalyn stated at last. "He wasn't feeling too well."

Aya grunted in acknowledgement. Kamalyn turned, and made his way in silence back to the cabin.