It was Monday, and James and I were back in New Haven. We both had full schedules for the week. James had a huge term paper due next week. He had been doing the research for this paper all semester, and I could tell that he was stressed beyond all reason about his upcoming graduation from law school. And then my pregnancy had added another burden on the poor guy. He deserved a medal.

With a hug and a kiss, I told him so as we left out apartment, going our separate ways as usual. He was spending the entire day on campus, something he was doing more and more recently. I was headed in the opposite direction, across town to the New Haven Science and Engineering Magnet School.

I got this job right after I graduated college early at Christmas. I took a few more classes after graduation, however, towards my teaching degree. I'll be completing those in May; I just needed one more semester to complete my requirements. Even though I'm already graduated. But headed for graduate school and probably more student teaching in the fall. Yeah. It's all very confusing. Even to me.

But, as I was saying, the job I have right now is my student teaching internship at the Magnet school. Magnet schools, if you don't already know, are for students who are gifted in a particular field. The students at this school are gifted in science and engineering. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't go to a school like this; I would have had a much easier time fitting in.

Then again, I sometimes feel like these students are sheltered. We prepare these young minds by teaching them all the skills and all the knowledge that they could possibly desire. But nothing is here to prepare these kids in interacting with regular people. Most of the kids in grades six through twelve live in dorms on campus, just like a college. I've met some kids who rarely see their families. School is life.

I sighed to myself as I entered the front hall of the building where I work. The building is really called Dewey Hall, but most of the kids just refer to it as The Einstein Shrine. For the longest time, I had no clue what the real name was. So I called it what the kids called it.

The first person who greeted me that day was a ninth grader named Miranda Jennings. She was in Mr. Park's first block class. Miranda is one of the few exceptions to the rule. She dresses with style and sophistication that reminds me of Claudia's friend, Stacey McGill. Not only that, but she's one of the brightest girls that I've met at this school. Miranda greeted me with a smile and a hug, as usual.

"Hey, Janine!" She was awfully cheerful for 7:30 AM. As usual. "Ready for class? I'm not. Monday drives me crazy."

"Me, too," I laughed. "But hey, it'll be a little better than usual. You get to listen to me today."

She gasped. "You're teaching us again?" (I had only done it a few times so far.)

She had me laughing again. "Yes! Is that so shocking?"

"Nah," she blushed. "What is shocking is... um, Janine, what's with the sweater and the kilt? Do you mind me asking? Going for the teacher look?"

If only she knew! She'll know eventually."Uh... yeah. You got me."

She accepted that as my answer, and wandered off to greet her friends. I was wearing my old Janine clothes today. Meaning a boring old sweater and a plain, gray kilt from my freshman year in college. My other clothes were starting to feel too tight. I didn't look different to anybody but me; still I was afraid to wear my normal clothes. I was scared that people would find out before I could tell them. The clothes from my freshman year were a size larger than my other things because I gained about ten pounds my freshman year, and then shed the pounds the following year.

So there I was, now heading down the hall towards Mr. Park's room. In my ugly clothes. If anyone else asked, I would tell them what Miranda said about going for the teacher look. That sounded good. However, I was going to tell one person my news today. It had to be done.

"Good morning, Janine," Mr. Park glanced up from a stack of papers, looking at me through wire-rimmed bifocals. "Ready to teach?"

Mr. Park is a nice, older man. Like me, he is Japanese-American. His wife had taught one of my chemistry classes at Yale. That's how I met Mr. Park and eventually became his student teacher. In the past few months, James and I have formed a very close friendship with the Parks. We had become very familiar and fond, still I was nervous about giving him the news.

"Good morning, Mr. Park," I replied. "Yes, I feel prepared. But before I show you my lesson plans and schedule, um, I need you talk to you about something."

I must have looked pretty serious because he set the stack of papers aside and gave me his full attention. I sat in one of the student desks, gathering up all of my courage (again.) And I just said it.

"I'm- my husband and I- are having a baby."

In his usual calm manner, Mr. Park stood and put a hand on my shoulder. "Congratulations, Janine."

I smiled weakly. "Thank you. However, I'm... worried."

He nodded. "That's not uncommon for future parents to worry," he studied my face. "Would I be right in assuming that what worries you most is having a child before you've completed school?"

I let out a sigh. "You know me too well, Mr. Park."

"I know you well enough to know that you've always handled whatever came your way."

"I'm afraid that this will be different," I confessed.

Mr. Park looked thoughtful. I glanced at the clock, and saw that we had about fifteen minutes before the students started to show up. Mr. Park was quiet for so long that my mind started to wonder back to my lesson plans. I was just thinking about my first example problem when he spoke up.

"Janine, didn't you tell me that you used to tutor your little sister who was once a poor student?"

I nodded. "Yes. Claudia always struggled with school even though she was a very bright girl."

"And you changed her," he went on. "When she got held back in the eighth grade, you worked with her until finally it all paid off. Because she's now an honor student. Is this all correct?"

"Pretty much. My grandmother, Mimi and I used to alternate tutoring her. Then Mimi passed away, and helping Claudia became a full-time job for me."

"It seems to me that your sister's success is your success. Without you, she would still be struggling to pass her classes. It was what you did for her that got her where she is today."

I blushed. "Well, not just because of what I did..."

"But you pointed her in the right direction. It seems to me, Janine, that your talents lie not in teaching other intellectual giants like yourself, but rather in creating intellectual giants out of ordinary students."

"You're saying I'd be better off teaching regular high school students than students at a school like this one?" I asked, perplexed. "Or for that matter, college students?"

"Oh, no," he assured me. "All that I am saying right now is that you should explore all your options."

"Explore my options," I repeated, liking the sound of that.

"You know what the beauty of it all is?" Mr. Park went on. "With the degree that you've already earned, you could go out and do that next year."

"Teach at a regular high school?"

"Why not? Look for a teaching job for the fall . You should still go to graduate school to earn your master's degree, but you should also realized that you can start your life without it."

"But the baby is due in October," I informed him. "My life is already starting."

"Well, that's an obstacle, I suppose," Mr. Park said. "But that's life."

I sighed.

"Janine, you're a smart girl," Mr. Park patted my back reassuringly. "You can overcome these obstacles. But you won't make it if you try to take a flying leap towards the top of the totem pole. Start at the bottom and make your way to the top."

Starting at the bottom? Maybe my real problem was the fact that this had never occured to me.