"Thank you, Mrs. Yamakawa." A petite red-haired girl stopped to talk to me while the rest of the remedial science students were scrambling out of the door as soon as the morning bell rang. "I know this is just the first day and everything is supposed to be pretty simple, but I really liked the way you explained all of the groundwork. I don't have a very good grasp of the basics. That's why I'm here in the first place."
"Well, I hope I can help you out." I grinned from ear to ear, pleased that I seemed to be doing an okay job of teaching thus far. It really made my day to hear this girl say that I had already helped her. If only I could remember her name...
"Me, too, " said the girl. "I really need to pass this class. I'm going to be a sophomore next year, and I really hate the thought of being stuck in the freshman science class again."
The discouraged look in her eyes told me that she'd really been struggling with school, and my heart went out to her. "I know you do. I can tell that it really matters to you. Um, I'm sorry, but I seem to have forgotten you name. Could you tell me again?"
"Of course," She smiled. "I couldn't remember the names of twenty other people in one day, either. Of course, maybe that's because I never remember anything. I'm Natalie. Natalie Jennings."
"Nice to meet you," I said. "Hey, I taught a girl at New Haven Magnet named Miranda Jennings. By any chance, is she related to you?
"My cousin," Natalie said, sighing a little. "Yes, Miranda, the genius. Miranda tutors me sometimes. But I just don't think I can learn from her. She tries to explain stuff to me, but it never sinks in. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Hey, nothing's wrong with you," I tried to reassure her. "You just need to get a grasp of the basics, like you said. And before you know it, you'll be caught up and ready to learn more."
She looked doubtful. And I so desparately wanted to change that.
I watched her go with a sigh, wondering what I would do if Natalie Jennings was simply unable to pass my class. What if the students tried, but failed again, anyway? It would be as though I had failed if I didn't help these students.
Before lunch, I sat down at my desk and updated my lesson plans. We had not gotten around to everything that I had wanted to accomplish today. While I scribbled down a few changes, something very interesting happened.
I suddenly felt a very strange sensation in my belly; it felt as though the baby was rolling over! It was so odd that I stood up straight and stuck my hand on my stomach. Usually all I can feel are soft flutters; this certainly was the first time I had ever felt such a strong movement!
After fixing my lesson plans, I meandered down to the teachers lounge for lunch. I opened the refrigerator, and took out the chicken caesar salad and fruit that I brought for lunch. When I brought it to the table, I was greeted by two teachers, the only other people in the lounge at the moment. I had met a few of the other teachers already. I thought I recognized one of these ladies as someone to whom I had been previously introduced. However, no names came to mind.
"When are you due?" The one that I thought I recognized had her eyes glued to my middle.
I was starting to notice more and more people doing that. I was also starting to feel incredibly self-conscious about it. I've never been comfortable with having people stare at me. A few weeks ago, they were probably all thinking, "Is she?" Now they were all thinking, "Oh, yeah. She's pregnant, alright. Wonder when she's due."
But, goodness. The staring was becoming almost too much for me to take.
"October 24th," I answered automatically. "Or, you know... around then."
"Do you know what you're having?"
"Not yet," I answered. Then I wisely added, "My husband and I just might know tomorrow morning when we go for an ultrasound."
"You're drinking milk," the other teacher noted. "That's good. Make sure you get plenty of vitamin C, dear. And folic acid. I made sure to get plenty of that when I was expecting."
"Same here," the first one agreed.
I just nodded politely and sat down with my fruit and salad. Both of the ladies were much older than I was; I would guess that they were both in their late forties or early fifties. (Of course, I wouldn't dare to ask!)
"I'm sorry dear, I can't seem to remember how to say your last name."
I swallowed a bite of my salad. "Yamakawa," I said. "Janine Yamakawa. You may call me Janine. And I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot seem to recall your names."
"Sharon Sanders," she said. And then she added: "Call me Sharon. I teach English."
"Carla Granger. Call me Carla." The other lady spoke up again."And I'm a math teacher. Right now, I'm teaching a remedial Geometry course, but during the school year, I teach Calculus and Trig."
"Pleased to meet you both," I said.
Sharon smiled. "I hope you don't mind me saying this, Janine, but you look awfully young. I almost would have mistaken you for one of the students if I didn't know better."
I nodded politely, taking that comment in stride. Sharon looked a little embarrassed, and I knew she had not said it to be rude. She was merely curious. Indeed, I did look young enough to be one of the high school students. And I had noticed that we had a handful of pregnant students; some of them were probably trying to graduate early. I could have easily passed for one of those girls. No wonder I was getting so many funny looks.
"I'm twenty-one," I admitted. Carla and Sharon looked even more curious. "I started college a year early. So I'm already finished and now I'm in graduate school. I've done some student teaching at New Haven Science and Engineering Magnet. And that's how I landed this job."
Carla and Sharon seemed content with this answer. And so was I. I also had the distinct feeling that although these ladies were practically old enough to be my mother, we would become friends over the next few months. And I also felt like I could learn from them on many levels; I knew they would be more than willing to tell me about teaching and about pregnancy, the two things that most consumed my life at present.
* * *
And here came my next set of classmates. I remained seated behind my desk and watched my afternoon Chemistry class enter the room. Just eight students, five girls and three boys, all of them looking to get ahead. A couple of the boys came in, talking loudly, and they sat down at one of the round tables. Then three of the girls came in together and took another table. One more boy came in, holding hands with a girl, and they took a table to themselves.
Then a tired-looking girl slowly entered the room. Upon her arrival, the other students took a moment to stare at her, and then went back to talking amongst themselves. She sat down with the two boys, not saying anything to either of them.
The girl was pregnant. Very pregnant.
I rose from where I was seated and took my place, standing in front of the class. I wrote my name on the board. "Hi. My name is Mrs. Yamakawa. I know that's hard to say; some of my students actually like to call me Mrs. Y. That's fine with me as well. I know you're all here because you want to be--"
"Was forced to be," muttered one of the boys.
"Had to be," noted the pregnant girl, sadly. She had spoken so softly that I don't think the other students even heard her. But I did. My eyes met hers and her eyes met mine. I saw her survey my belly and present me with a tiny smile. I smiled back, and in those few seconds, a bond between us had formed. Even before I knew her name.
"Regardless of why you're here," I went on. "I have a lot to teach you in these six weeks. First thing, however, I'll check roll and see if I can remember names." I whipped out the roll sheet. "Caleb Aston."
"Here."
"Bethany Carter."
"Here."
This continued with each student. Hannah Eastland, Daniel Huggins, Laura Littlefield, Andrea Miller, Scott Parker...
"Grace Taylor."
The pregnant girl smiled meekly and simply raised her hand. Again, I smiled back and marked her present. Then without further delay, class began. And I can say that it went rather well. I felt that I had started off on the right foot with my students.
But at the end of the day, I had my mind on two students and nothing else. Driving home, I thought only of Natalie Jennings and Grace Taylor. The baby rolled over again while I was waiting at a red light, but I was so lost in thought that I hardly even took notice.