A/N: Tell me what you think. No reviews = bad case of writers block.


As my first week of teaching draws to a close, I am really worn down. The task of teaching these classes is massive. I feel pressure coming at me from all sides. We'll start with remedial science. Some of these students seem hopeless, but I'm not giving up on them. And then there's Natalie, or should I say, Claudia? It is odd how much she reminds me of my sister. But if Claudia can come out on top, so can Natalie. We talked about this today, actually, after class. Then I helped her do the first few problems of her homework assignment, and told her to call Miranda. In fact, I may call Miranda myself so that she can keep Natalie in check. Anyhow, back to the pressure. Then there's the Chemistry class; my word, how can you cover this subject in six weeks? Well, in short, you cannot. Luckily, these students are all advanced, or at least determined. Since they have been covering this material in an online course, my job is really only to give them some one-on-one preparation for the AP exam that they'll be taking to get dual credit for this class. Still. What an enormous task. I'd better go; just thirty minutes for lunch.

I closed my journal and slipped it into my purse. I was still devoted to keeping that journal.

I felt like a little kid again as I opened my brown paper bag and removed a sandwich, an apple, and a granola bar. I probably should have been eating more than that. I also had bought a soda that day, which was part of the reason why I did not take my lunch down to the teachers' lounge. Though I liked Carla and Sharon, I got the impression that they looked down on me. Perhaps I made them uncomfortable because I was pregnant at young age or because I was working while I was pregnant. ("You really should be getting more rest, dear!") At any rate, I was desperately craving a Cherry Coke, and did not want to hear them tell me that I ought to be drinking milk or juice.

I took a sip of my much-awaited soft drink and closed my eyes. "Ah, this is the life."

Someone giggled. Opening my eyes, I took in first the shape of the person standing in my doorway, then the person's face. Grace Taylor was smiling shyly at me.

I smiled back. "Shh! Don't tell Mrs. Sanders and Mrs. Granger that you saw me drinking soda."

"It's okay." Grace held up her own soft drink, also a Cherry Coke. "I crave 'em, too."

"Have a seat," I said, noticing that she had her own sack-lunch in her hand. "I could use some company." She sat down at one of the round tables, and I moved to join her.

"You're so lucky to be having a girl," was the first thing she said. After my appointment on Tuesday morning, (It was now Friday.) I had announced my news to everyone at school.

I laughed. "Thanks. I think so, too!" Then I cautiously added, "What are you having?"

I had not asked Grace anything about her pregnancy until now.

Grace bit her lip and quietly told me. "Boys. Two boys."

I gasped a little. I could not help it. Grace Taylor was having twins? This was news to me.

She sighed. "I know. You probably thought I was farther along, too, because I'm so huge. I'm due at the end of the summer. Actually, I'm due right around the time when school would have started. Except it won't be starting for me because I'm graduating early." (I thought so.) "I just need this credit and then my history credit -- that's the class I take in the mornings before your class. Then I'm done."

"Wow," I said softly. "Grace -- I had no idea. How are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Physically, it's really hard," she told me. "I guess seventeen-year-olds weren't meant to carry twins because it has been really difficult. Especially now. My doctors are all afraid that my babies will be born prematurely, and I am, too. As soon as these classes are over, they're putting me on bed-rest."

I nodded slowly, not sure what to say. From the looks of her, it had been harder than anything I could even imagine. Already, I grew tired easily and experienced back pain, and I was a mere twenty-one weeks along and carrying just one baby. Grace was settled back in her chair which was pushed away from the table to make room for her still-growing belly that somehow contained two babies.

"Tell me, Grace," I began. "How are you, emotionally? Are you holding up?" I had to ask because if she wasn't, it was clearly my job to help her. If there was no one else for her to go to, she should be able to go to me, her teacher. Even if the only thing I could do was listen to her problems.

"You want to hear the whole story?"

"As long as you have time to eat your lunch," I gently told her.

She took a bit of her sandwich and chewed it. Then she swallowed. Looking thoughtful, she heaved a big sigh. Then she began her story:

"I used to be a different person. I lived completely for myself and totally in the moment. I did basically whatever I wanted to and didn't worry about who I was hurting. I ended up hurting a lot of people, mainly myself and my family, because I was careless.

"Basically, I partied. I drank. I smoked. Had sex with a bunch of guys. But the whole time I was doing this, I felt like something big was missing in my life. It was like I had a hole inside of me that I tried to fill up by doing things that I knew, deep down inside, were wrong. I was really messed up.

"Then I met a really cool friend. Her name was Deidre, and on the outside she looked pretty much like me. We both wore a lot of black and sort of grungy-looking punker stuff. She even smoked, like me, but she said she was trying really hard to quit. The thing that was cool about Deidre was that she was a Christian."

I leaned forward, with growing interest. Her comment took my back to my visit with Zach several weeks ago when he had talked to me about Christianity and given me his Bible. I had been really caught up with things since then, and had not read much of anything, even though I told Zach that I would.

She went on. "I didn't think it was cool that Deidre was a Christian at first. She wouldn't drink with me at parties, and even though I knew she wanted to take a cigarette when I offered it to her, she always refused it. And she was always trying to get me to go to church with her, which got on my nerves.

"So one day, just so she would leave me alone, I agreed to go on a church retreat with her. I thought maybe that would be okay since it wasn't exactly church. And it would get me away from my parents and my little brother for the weekend. So I went. And that's when my life started to change.

"It didn't happen right away. But I started going to youth group stuff with Deidre, and that's when I started to think that maybe God could fill up the hole in my life. I was still living for myself, though. But then I went on another trip with her youth group right before Christmas time. While I was on that trip, I could really feel the Spirit moving in me, telling me I needed to turn my life around. And that's when I decided to give it all to God."

"So you turned your life around when you found your faith?"

"Yes, I did." She sighed deeply then and rested a hand on her belly. "But old mistakes came back to haunt me. A week after I got saved, I found out that I was pregnant. Didn't know who the father was; still don't. Then, increasing the blow, was the news that I was carrying twins. Twin boys with no father."

We were both crying at this point, and yes, I had done a lot of that lately. And whether or not the hormones were to blame, I'm not really sure on some accounts. But I do know that it made me hurt to see how much Grace appeared to be hurting. I could hardly stand to look at her. How could God give so many troubles to a girl who had just given her life to Him? It made absolutely no sense to me. So I asked her...

"Why do you think this happened to you?"

This is what she said: "I read a story in the Bible about a man named Job. A blameless and upright man who lost everything he had, but still believed. He was tested, but he never lost faith. I like to think that I'm a little bit like Job."

I looked up at Grace, stunned at what she had just said. Where have I heard that before? Zach... didn't Zach tell me that?

She chuckled, unaware that she had left me completely awestruck with those words, and went on.

"I mean, I'm certainly not blameless and upright. Not then, anyway. Now that I'm saved by God's grace, well, I know that I am a pure and blameless child in His eyes. Washed clean by the blood of the Lamb. And since I know that, I also know that God's going to get me through this."

The bell rang, and we both wiped tears out of our eyes. She stood up and noticed that she had only taken one bite of her sandwich. She and I laughed rather uncomfortably. I had not touched my food either.

"Well," I said. "You especially need your nutrition. I may be eating for two, but you're eating for three. Why don't you eat your lunch during class? I don't mind."

"Thank you, Mrs. Yamakawa," she said. Andrea and Hannah came in just then. I would have liked to say something, but even if I had the chance, I'm not sure what it would have been.

I took a moment to recover at my desk while the rest of the students came into the classroom. And a song came into my mind. A very sweet song soothed me for just a moment.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see.