Kyaa Kyaff here ^o^

Disclaimer: Kenshin does not belong to me. But someday…someday…*shakes head despairingly* nope I still won't have him.

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'…' Kaoru thoughts

*…* Kenshin thoughts

"…" Dialogue

An Alternate Place and Time

Chapter 21: A memory lost.

She woke up disoriented. Opening her eyes she saw nothing familiar about her surroundings. Sitting up she looked around some more alarmed. She was in a small room with one window. There was no furniture except for the futon she was sitting on. A kimono lie on the floor next to her. She tried to remember her name, but came up with nothing. She began to frown and tried to search further, but found she couldn't conjure up any past memory that would tell her who she was.

"What happened to me?" she said out loud to herself.

The door suddenly opened startling her out of her thoughts. A young man with a shock of silver hair came walking in. He stopped abruptly upon seeing her awake.

"Kaoru, I see you have woken up," he said kindly.

"Kaoru? Is that my name?" she asked trying frustratingly to find the name familiar but failing miserably as she looked down at her hands.

She did not see the man's delighted smile, "Of course it is…koishii."

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Tomoe sat alone in the house sitting on one of the futons Megumi had provided. She was staring vacantly at the screening separating the one room into two. A few days had passed, and Kenshin and the others were still unable to find Kaoru. Kenshin seemed to be trying to remain calm, but Tomoe could tell he was about to breakdown. She prayed Kaoru was alright. Tomoe wished to help, but the grief she had been trying to suppress was taking its toll on her. She was trying to be strong for Kenshin, but was slowly slipping away. Megumi had done her best to get Tomoe to eat, but she wasn't in the mood to. Images of Akira kept flashing through her memory. His smiling face as he held her and told her he would never leave her again became prominent. With those memories came the horrid ones that had been torturing her recently. It may have happened years ago, but to her it was still fresh in her mind. The only one that had stopped her from going crazy was Akira, but now…

"How did everything become so wrong?" she whispered quietly to herself.

"Tomoe-san, may I come in?" Tsubame asked politely from the door.

"Yes," Tomoe replied.

Tsubame came over to Tomoe kneeling by her side watching her. She didn't say anything.

"Was there something you wanted?" Tomoe asked looking at the girl.

"You can talk to me," Tsubame said simply.

"I have nothing to say."

"It's okay to cry. You don't have to hold it in. It isn't healthy for you."

Tomoe made no reply. Tsubame looked down at the floor before lightly tracing a line along it.

"My mother never spoke to me after my father and older sister were killed. She would just sit there with the saddest expression on her face. I tried…I really tried to make her better. I found a job and worked hard, but she just gave up. She died still sitting in the same spot," Tsubame said with a trace of sadness in her voice.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tomoe asked.

"Because you have that same look in your eyes," Tsubame said turning to face her fully, "And it scares me. Why? Why can't you realize that the ones you love want you to live?"

"You don't even know me," Tomoe said trying to hold back her own tears.

"I don't have to. Kaoru spoke of you. Her bigger sister that she hoped to see again someday," Tsubame said.

Tomoe smiled, "Kaoru doesn't need me anymore."

"That's not true." Tsubame replied fiercely.

If anyone was there to witness this, they wouldn't have believed this was Tsubame speaking. She always seemed so quiet, but Tomoe was affecting her deeply.

"He saved your life. You would throw it away," Tsubame said suddenly having heard what happened from Sano.

Tomoe gave her an agonized look before steeling her expression and turning away from Tsubame. Tsubame placed her hands on Tomoe's shoulders causing Tomoe to flinch. Leaning her head against Tomoe's back she began to speak.

"You have to be strong. You can't give up. Kaoru needs you. Kenshin needs you. Don't you see, you have to remain strong for everyone else and yourself. Akira didn't save you for nothing. You have to remain strong for him as well. Don't give up, I just know you are stronger than that."

Tsubame's last words struck her. When Tomoe had regained her memory she almost lost herself again. Akira had been there comforting her. "Koi, don't give up. You are stronger than that. I promise to never leave you again, so please, don't leave me."

Tomoe felt the girl shift away from her. Tears started to slip unbidden from Tomoe's eyes. Turning she looked at the younger girl.

"I don't have the strength anymore," Tomoe said.

"Then you can borrow mine," Tsubame replied moving closer to Tomoe hugging the older woman, who gave in and began to cry.

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Megumi moved away from the room with a sigh of relief. She had been about to go in there to check up on Tomoe, when she had noticed Tsubame in there. The fact had surprised her. Tsubame always appeared really shy. Megumi was relieved though. It seemed Tsubame got through to Tomoe. That was one less person to worry about. Now she had to convince Kenshin to take care of himself. He had been frantically searching around the past few days. He had barely eaten and his wounds weren't healing properly. Megumi frowned. He was pushing himself way passed his physical limits.

"Tori-atama!" Megumi shouted upon seeing Sano sleeping.

Sano jumped up real quick looking around, "Wha…?"

Seeing it was Megumi he flopped back down with a grunt. Megumi stalked over to him and kicked him lightly in the ribs. Sano howled with pain grabbing his side. She hadn't kicked him hard enough to do any damage to his injuries.

"What the hell!? Are you trying to kill me?" Sano groaned.

"I wouldn't have to try," Megumi replied.

"What do you want?" Sano asked grumpily.

"I need to go buy some more medicine."

"And?" Sano asked.

Megumi suppressed the urge to hit him again, "And you are coming with me!"

"Do I have to?" Sano asked, "If you want to get me alone, we can just go in the woods."

This time Megumi whacked him in the head, "Hurry up and get ready."

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*Where are you, Kaoru? I need you. *

Kenshin trudged through the snow ignoring the dizziness he felt. It was mid-afternoon and Kenshin, along with Misao and Yahiko were once again searching for Kaoru. The past few days he had spent totally focused on Kaoru. It kept him sane. He avoided Tomoe still unable to come to terms with the fact that he had killed Akira. Kenshin was clinging to a thin hope of finding Kaoru and tried not imagine the worst situation.

*No, I won't believe it. I can't lose her. *

"Kenshin, we should be heading back." Yahiko called out to Kenshin.

"Just a little longer. This river is supposed to lead to a small village. I have to look there." Kenshin said.

Misao glanced at Yahiko in worry, "He can't take much more of this."

"I know, but there is no way to get him to stop," Yahiko clenched his fist, "We have to believe Kaoru is alright. She wouldn't let a measly river take her down."

"That's right," Misao replied confidently before glancing toward Kenshin, "but how do we make him see that?"

Kenshin cast a look over his shoulder to see Misao and Yahiko talking. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he had a feeling it was about him. He didn't care. He needed to find Kaoru. He pictured her beautiful face in his mind as he stumbled forward.

"Kaoru," he said softly before collapsing to the ground.

"Kenshin!" Yahiko yelled in alarm upon seeing Kenshin fall face first in the snow.

Both Yahiko and Misao ran over to him.

"He passed out. He has been pushing himself to hard," Misao said frowning.

"I guess it is time to head back. Megumi will want to take care of his wounds," Yahiko said.

"You bring him back. I am going to that village he mentioned."

"Alone?" Yahiko asked.

Misao frowned, "As a member of the Oniwabanshu I am quite capable of protecting myself!"

"Alright calm down. I'll take him back." Yahiko said.

"I probably won't be back right away so don't worry about me. Just don't let Himura leave. Kaoru wouldn't forgive us if we let him get any worse."

Yahiko nodded and Misao went off. Yahiko knelt down and picked Kenshin up to bring him back, thankful that Kenshin wasn't a big guy.

"Kenshin better not give me hell for this," Yahiko muttered as he made his way back to the others.

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The sky was beginning to darken as Misao continued to follow the river. She crossed her arms to ward off the cold. She hoped the village was nearby. She wasn't afraid, but she would like somewhere nice and warm to sleep, assuming this place had an inn, and also assuming the person, who had told them about the place, wasn't lying. Sighing, Misao watched the mist of air she had created disappear. She wondered where Aoshi and Kaoru were. She had no doubt in her mind that Kaoru was alright. They hadn't found any reason to believe otherwise. Misao began to make out a trail leading from the riverside. She decided there was no problem with following it. Her thoughts then shifted to Aoshi. She touched her throat absentmindedly, remembering Aoshi's eyes. They had been devoid of emotion, but she knew that he was suffering. That is why she said what she had said to him.

When Misao had said that she saw the conflict and pain in his eyes. She knew he blamed himself for the deaths of Hannya, Shikijo, Hyottoko, and Beshimi. This goal to become the strongest would not change anything though. Couldn't he realize this? The trail Misao was on began to broaden and opened up into the village. Misao grinned in relief. Looking around she noticed many houses and little shops. Misao was looking for an inn. The place didn't look like it had an inn.

"Excuse me sir," Misao said to a man passing by.

He stopped, "Yes."

"Do you know where I might be able to stay for the night?" Misao asked.

"There is a temple a little further down. You can find shelter there for the night."

"Arigato," Misao said.

The man nodded before continuing on his way. Misao headed in the direction the man had pointed. She planned on searching in the morning. It was too late to do so now. Approaching the modest looking building she saw it was lit from the inside. Not knowing whether to knock or not she tentatively opened the door. Stepping inside she looked around her eyes falling on a figure sitting in the middle of the room. Misao's eyes widened in surprise.

"…Aoshi," she uttered in disbelief.

He didn't respond. She slowly stepped forward reaching her hand toward him.

"Don't touch me," Aoshi said.

Misao pulled her hand back to her chest watching his back with hurt eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Misao asked.

Aoshi made no reply.

"Why are you trying to be strongest? I don't understand how that has anything to do with Hannya…" Misao started but was interrupted by Aoshi before she could say anything further.

"Leave."

"No!" Misao exclaimed, "You are using their memory as an excuse! What's the purpose of fighting Kaoru or Himura!? Kaoru is our friend! How could you?"

"This is none of your concern," Aoshi said harshly.

"Don't treat me like a child!" Misao yelled grabbing him from behind and wrapping her arms around him, "I'm not a child anymore! Why can't you see that? Why can't you see what you are doing to yourself?"

"I know what I am doing," Aoshi said not moving.

"Your eyes, what happened? You look as if you have given up on life," Misao said quietly.

Aoshi flinched a little at this comment, "I will become strongest."

Misao let go of Aoshi and sat back, "Have you seen Kaoru-san?"

"No," Aoshi replied.

"She went after you and fell in the river. We haven't found her yet."

Aoshi again did not respond. Misao got up and stood in front of him.

"I miss you Aoshi," Misao stated.

Misao kneeled down right in front of him staring into his eyes. He reached out a hand to touch the fading bruise on her throat caused by his hand. His hand slowly moved up to her cheek. His fingers then trailed along her face before he slowly pulled his hand back.

"Misao…"

Misao grabbed his hand in both of hers, "You have to stop this. Just come back with me. It can be like old times. No more fighting."

To her dismay he pulled his fingers from her grasp. Leaning forward he did the unexpected. He kissed her tenderly on the lips. Misao watched him stunned as he stood up not noticing the look of regret and longing on his face.

"Things cannot go back to the way they are. I have come this far and have sacrificed much. I will not stop. I don't want to see your face again. Forget about me," Aoshi said heading for the exit.

"Aoshi!" Misao cried out.

Without even turning he left. Misao jumped up and ran outside after him. It was too late though. No matter how much she searched around the area, there was no trace of Aoshi's departure even in the snow.

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Kenshin called out to Kaoru. She turned smiling but continued walking away from him. He tried once more to call out to her, but this time his voice carried out inaudibly, and she did not turn. He went running after her, but no matter how hard he tried he could not reach her. Kenshin called out one last time. Glancing up he realized she now stood right in front of him.

"Kaoru," he said reaching his hand out to touch her.

She recoiled from his touch, "Don't touch me!"

"Kaoru…" Kenshin said.

"You disgust me," Kaoru cried out suddenly.

Startled Kenshin watched her in hurt disbelief.

"Goodbye Kenshin," Kaoru said with a sword appearing in her hand out of nowhere.

To his horror instead of stabbing him she reversed the blade and stabbed herself. As she started to fall Kenshin rushed to her side slowly lowering her to the ground in a state of panic. Kaoru laughed weakly.

"See you in hell," she said with a sickening smile.

Kenshin sat up sharply calling out Kaoru's name and ended up coming face to face with Megumi.

"Ken-san, how are you feeling?" she asked calmly putting a hand to his forehead.

He pulled back looking around the room, "What happened?"

"You passed out. Yahiko brought you back."

Kenshin put a hand to his sweaty forehead, "How long have I been out?"

"Just a day," Megumi replied.

Kenshin tried to stand up, but Megumi just pushed him down again.

"I need to go," Kenshin said.

"You need to recover. You are making your injuries worse, and you have a slight fever now. You will be staying in bed. Misao, Sano, and Yahiko are trying to see what they can find. You are not doing anything!" Megumi stated in a matter of fact tone.

Kenshin lay back down on his futon as he began to feel nauseous.

"That's better. I will be right back." Megumi said getting up.

As Megumi left Tomoe entered.

"Kenshin," Tomoe said softly coming to his side.

Kenshin couldn't look into her eyes. She sat by his side.

"Kenshin, please look at me," Tomoe said.

Kenshin complied.

"That's better. Don't blame yourself Kenshin. I am more to blame… not a word out of you," Tomoe said as she saw Kenshin about to speak, "Kenshin, I don't blame you. What happened has happened, and I accept it. So please, please don't blame yourself."

*You may have forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself. *

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"Perfect! Perfect!" The man with the silver hair known as Enishi muttered to himself.

Enishi was pacing around excitedly in his room. Stopping by the window he gazed out at the wintry sky.

"Oneesan, soon we will be a family, and he will pay! He will pay for what he has done to you," he said softly.

He heard a noise coming from the door. Kaoru stepped into the room wearing a light yellow bathrobe. Enishi's smiled broadened.

"Was there something you wanted, Koi?" Enishi asked.

Kaoru frowned at his endearment. It unsettled her. She owed it to him not to say anything though.

'How would I feel if the person I loved forgot me?'

She still got an uneasy feeling around him. She couldn't bring herself to trust him just yet. From what he had told her, she had been fighting and had fallen into the river. She had probably hit into a rock real hard, which explained the bruise at the back of her head. He said they could discuss later what had happened exactly, but first she needed to rest. It had been two days since she had woken up. Enishi had told her she had been out for a couple of days.

"Do you have anything to eat? I am starving."

Enishi nodded. His plan would work perfectly and then he would have his family.

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Hiya! Kyaa Kyaff here! Hope you liked the chapter! ^o^

I know it may see confusing, but just so you know, no Enishi and Tomoe aren't related. Things will be explained, and yes Enishi is kinda crazy.

But anyway I would love to thank ewunia, Kamimura Kaoru, SwtRkGurlz, marstanuki, Icegal, Joey, Sano, kawaii_tenshi77, Shunu no Miko, Tesuka-chan, Hitokiri Battousai, t.anjel, hosi-ni-onegai, Chiki, A., Nena, Yen, Naomi, Shizuka, Lina, Jim Demon Wolf, me me me and only me, Apple, Crystal, Blue Moon, Alannah, Omochi, moonblossom, lizzie, sTrAwBeRrY, Gypsy-chan, and Ro-chan for all your wonderful reviews!!!

Please motivate me some more by telling me what you thought!!!

Kyaa Kyaff saying until next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!