"Morning, sweetheart," Mom hurried downstairs on Saturday morning. I was the first one up that morning due to the fact that I got up in a hurry at 5 a.m. to make it to the bathroom, and then was unable to go back to sleep. Not that I had been sleeping very well to begin with. There was no comfortable position to do it.

"Morning!" I said, doing my best to appear well-rested and rejuvenated.

"Claudia was hoping we could all go shopping together today," Mom said. "She wants to check out those shops all along the Main Drag. But I said we should check with you, first. Are you up to walking so much?"

"Sure," I replied. "Why not?"

Mom took a sip of her coffee. "Well, I know when I was that far along, I didn't have as much energy as you do. Both times. I was always fine until week 32, then all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was lie around and be left alone."

I almost said something just then, but then I held my tongue. Why even bother?

"Really?" I replied, sounding bewildered.

"Morning, Mom, Janine," Claudia was running downstairs. She was wearing denim overalls over a tank top that she had made herself by photocopying every award-winning picture she had ever taken and had it printed on the shirt. The shirt had cost her a fortune, but Claudia said it was worth it. "Check it out; we match."

"Yeah," I said, smiling at her. We both had on overalls, but it was the closest we would ever come to matching. Once opposites, always opposites.

"Morning, Janey." That was James. (The only person who would call me Janey, of course.)

I noticed that he did not add: 'How are you feeling?' For the entire week, I had been hiding all of my discomforts and biting back ever last complaint.

The rest of the clan came downstairs not long after that, and when we were all gathered together for breakfast, Claudia announced: "Family shopping day!"

"Hope everyone is wearing sneakers," Will added, while cramming a piece of toast in his mouth. "Since Claudia is leading this shopping expedition, you can be sure that we'll go in every single store and walk the length of the Main Drag at least twice."

"Put on sun screen," added Sheri. "And let's bring plenty of water. It's a hot day today. Not a breath of wind in the air."

"You're sure your up to it?" Mom asked me, under her breath. She was the only person who didn't seem to be buying my act.

I smiled anyway. "Of course."



After an hour of walking up and down the Main Drag, I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Hey, Mary Anne told me about this store!" Claudia exclaimed. "She said it wasn't open yet when she and Dawn came to Sea City in July."

She was running away from us as she said that. Naturally, everyone else picked up the pace to catch up with her. And me? Although I was sweating like a pig and my feet were killing me, I picked up the pace, too. By the time we caught up with her, I was out of breath.

Luckily, it was cool inside the store. And I found a chair to sit in.

Claudia was already looking at the bathing suits. It made absolutely no sense to me why Claudia was looking at bathing suits in a gift shop. If you're going to go into a gift shop, isn't it common sense to buy something that you couldn't find anywhere else? Not my sister. Even though she could find a bathing suit just about anywhere, (at Walmart, even) and even though summer was almost over, she was looking at them anyway.

Anyway, I was breathing heavy and about the time James passed by me, I received a good, hard kick in the ribs that knocked the breath out of me even more. I actually gasped for breath. James turned around sharply, caught sight of me holding my stomach and catching my breath, and then...

"Honey? What's wrong?" In an instant, he was kneeling in front of me with a wide-eyed look of panic on his face. Before I could say I was okay, the rest of my family had noticed and gathered around me.

"N-nothing," I stammered, turning red. "It's not what you think. I-I was just... so tired. You guys, well, you wore me out so I sat down, and I was all out of breath, and then she kicked and I..." By now, I was laughing and so was my family.

I started to get up, but Mom sat me right back down.

"Janine, don't think you have to keep up with us," she said. "If you need us to slow down, you say so. If you need a chance to catch your breath, you just sit down and take a rest. No sense in wearing yourself out with eight more weeks to go."

I took her advice for the rest of the day, and it did me some good. Mother knows best.

I had a feeling that my family would be watching me like a hawk for the next eight weeks.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *


I took it easy that evening, too. Claudia even asked if I still felt like going out to the beach to the pictures. We had been planning to do them tonight at sunset, and of course, I was looking forward to it. So we did.

With the ocean crashing in the background and the sky tinted in hues of pink, orange, and purple and the sun setting on the horizon... that alone would have been a great picture. But Claudia still insisted that something was missing.

She sat down with us on the beach before she even started shooting to "explain her inspiration" and talk about "the spiritual meaning" of the photographs.

"Sunsets represent the conclusion of one day," she said. (while sitting in the sand, dressed all in black with paintbrushes sticking out of her hair) "Furthermore, it represents the anticipation of a new day. And you, Janine, represent the anticipation of a new day, too." She paused dramatically, then said. "That's what I'll say if I accept an award for this photograph."

James, who was also there, chuckled. I smiled.

Claudia jumped up,"The sky is perfect! Let's get started."

For the next fifteen minutes or so, Claudia posed several shots, mostly of just me, but some with James in them as well. My wardrobe that Claudia had been so concerned with consisted of things that Claudia had brought for herself: silky, white pajama bottoms (with an elastic waistband, of course) and a white shirt that buttoned down the front, unbuttoned to show off my belly. Claudia had done my hair and makeup as well, and I really felt beautiful.

Before I knew it, Claudia announced she was finished.

"Not yet," James said. "We need a picture of the Kishi sisters together."

He plucked a paintbrush from her hair and stuck it behind his ear, taking on the job of photographer. Then he posed Claudia hugging me from behind. He backed away and proceeded to trip over his own feet. Claudia and I started laughing, and James took that opportunity to snap the picture.

With that, we finished up. James and Claudia headed back to the house. I lingered by the shore to take in the ocean. Tomorrow morning, we would pack up to leave Sea City. Our time at the beach had gone by so quickly.

Looking down the shore, I realized I was not alone on the beach. About twenty feet away, Zach was walking towards the shoreline. He reached the water and rolled up his pant legs to get his feet wet in the waves. Buttoning up my shirt, I approached him.

"Oh, hi," he said. "I saw you guys taking pictures."

I smiled. "Yeah, why didn't you come over?"

"I was sort of... thinking about things," Zach said. He looked troubled.

"Like what?"

"Oh... starting school in Stoneybrook, I guess."

"Nervous?" I asked.

"Oh, I can handle new people," Zach smiled sadly. "What I'm not sure I can handle is the absence of old ones..." (I could see that the real problem was on the tip of his tongue.) "...Sarah- Sarah, she's really... r-really gone now."

I put my arm around him as he fought back tears, but started sobbing anyway. I did not completely understand what he meant until he regained enough composure to elaborate. Then I gently asked him.

"What I mean..." He finally added. "She's been gone, yes, but we remember her. Her friends, her family, and me. We remember her...together. Apart from them... now that I live in Stoneybrook... do-do I... will I forget?"

"No," I held him closely, tears coming to my eyes now. "No, you never do. No matter where you are or who you're with, you'll remember her. She won't leave you."

"It just feels like I'm losing her all over again," he said. "Like I'm leaving her behind."

"Take her with you," I said. "Do you think you can?"

He wiped his eyes. "For awhile, my thinking was that I needed to get away from old memories, you know? Start over? But now, I don't think that's why God's taking me to Stoneybrook. From here, I can't see..." He trailed off.

"What, Zach?"

"See this ocean," he began, after a moment. "We know this ocean is huge. Enormous. If we got in a boat and sailed away, we could go to England. But from here, all we see is the horizon. But there's so much more in store for us that we can't see. And I- I just haven't been able to see past the trials to appreciate what God's got in store for me one day."

I was crying already. Crying hard, yet almost laughing.

"What, Janine?" Zach looked alarmed. He held me closely. "What? What?"

I thought of Zach. I thought of Grace. I thought of my entire life.

"What, Janine, what?"

His eyes stared into mine, and I said: "I just- I- well... me too."

"What are you thinking?" He wanted to know more.

"I'm thinking that I've been missing the big picture," I looked out at the water. "The whole ocean is out there, and I need to... like you said, it's hard to see past the horizon. But that's what we'll always have to look for."