A Letter From A Hikari To His Yami
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Side story for "Sympathy For The Devil." Thought that this would be an interesting twist on the mini-series, so I wrote it. ^_^;; I know that this may seem a tad bit selfish, but please don't ask for a sequel. I like it the way it is and I HATE telling people no. Gomen nasai.
This story is dedicated to Bringer of the Storm because I wasn't able to write the challenge she had given me. ^_^;; And...for all of you who are wondering about "Youth of the Nation," that will be updated on Jan. 23--come hell or high water. Until then...enjoy! ^_~
WARNING: SHOUNEN-AI! Yami Yuugi/Yuugi
DISCLAIMER: Don't own. I just kidnap to put them in my stories...no worries, though. I'll return them to their proper (and legal...;_;...) owners...eventually. D
"I want to give you a different assignment tonight than what I usually assign to you. Instead of reading chapters one to four of 'A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man,' I want you to write a letter to the person you love the most and tell them how you feel. There are no exceptions and I expect you to tell me how it went tomorrow during class. Is this understood?"
"Hai, sensei."
"Good; now class dismissed. Have a wonderful day!"
~ * ~
What am I to do and say? I'm at a loss and no answers are coming to me. No, none at all. I feel like burrowing my head under my pillow and crying to my heart's content, but what good would that do for me? The assignment wouldn't be any closer to getting done and I would have only just given in to my self-pity.
As much as I feel sorry for myself, I feel even sorrier for Ryou. Poor Ryou. At least my yami won't react violently if...no, WHEN...I tell him that I love him. True, I may lose his friendship and respect, but at least he won't hit me for feeling an emotion that I can't help but feel. ...what to do, though?
I'm beginning to think that I would prefer Yami's punches and kicks when I finally tell him.
After all, I can _handle_ beatings. Before Yami, Jyou-kun, and Honda-kun came along, I was beaten up all the time. I am happy about how that's changed--really and truly, I am. I hated each and every punch. But I couldn't do anything about it. I'm so little--what _could_ I have really done?
Gaaah! These thoughts are too depressing for me!
I inch my way up and peek my head out from underneath the pillow. First thing I do is check the alarm clock; Yami is downstairs helping Ji-san in the Game Shop. (Since Yami doesn't want to go to school because he had already 'been tutored by the best scholars Egypt had to offer', Ji-san makes him work in the Shop. Heh.) Now, I can't blame Yami for not wanting to go to school twice, but sometimes I think that going to school would be a better option than having Ji-san tower over you all day long.
Please don't misunderstand me, I love my Ji-san with all of my heart and soul, but Ji-san can be so...intimidating when he wants to be. (And such a slave-driver, too. I constantly relive this every single time my room gets even a LITTLE bit messy.) The thing that I find so funny about all of this is the fact that Ji-san has Yami so completely cowed and wrapped around his little finger. But he loves Yami like a second grandson, so I don't mind at all.
Seeing that I have about forty-five minutes left before the shop closes and Yami comes upstairs to spend time with me, I wander over to my desk and sit down in the chair, staring at the piece of paper dejectedly. Hmmm... Maybe if I stare at it long enough, it'll write itself. I decide to try this out.
...
Fifteen minutes later, I'm still staring at a blank piece of paper. I knew that the theory probably wouldn't work--but there had been no harm in trying, ne? I sigh and prop my chin on my cupped palms. Maybe it didn't work because I didn't do it right! It was worth a shot. I do everything the same all over again--only this time I glare. I'll _cow_ it into submission!
...
Damn.
My door slowly opens and Yami steps in, smiling brightly at me as he always does. Quickly glancing at my clock, I see that my time has already passed. I just spent the last forty-five minutes trying to cow a piece of paper into writing a letter for me?! I sound pathetic, don't I? Oi. What am I to do? I...just...don't...know...
"Aibou, what is this?" Yami asks when, touching the piece of paper as he does so. He looks at me curiously, the skin between his brows furrowing as he tries to puzzle it out. I love the various facial expressions that Yami has. He's perhaps the most open person I've ever met. (It's a pity that he's only this open around me.) And when he smiles... Talk about kawaii! ...I'm staring, aren't I? Oi, I am.
I look down and I can feel myself flush. Not only was I caught staring, but I'm also blushing in front of him. If I'm not more careful, he'll eventually figure it out. And where would I be then? Without Yami... Alone and bereft. I'll do ANYTHING to keep that from happening! I swear to Kami that I will!
"We were assigned to write a letter to the person that we loved the most. It was my sensei's idea, to give us a reason to express our deepest emotions freely in written form. I... I don't know what I'm going to do, though, Yami."
"Well, what do you want to say to Ji-sama?" I look at him and giggle a little bit. Yami, the mighty Pharaoh of ancient Egypt, calling MY Ji-san Ji-sama? Adorable! ...and touching, in a way, because it shows me how much respect and love he has for him. Even five thousand year old spirits can still feel love. But what about me, Yami...?
I giggle for a little bit longer, then manage to calm myself. Finally, I answer him. "Well, I DO love Ji-san with all my heart and soul...but there is one person that I would give anything and everything for. Only one. Always one."
"Really? And who is that, aibou?"
"G-Gomen nasai, Yami... But I can't answer that," I answer him, looking down and blushing. He's silent for several more moments and I can feel his eyes on my. Why is he looking at me? Why is he looking at me so...so _intently_??
"It's alright, Yuugi. Now, tell me what you want to tell that person and maybe I can help you get your feelings written down."
I sigh and tilt my chair back, closing my eyes as I do so. Tell Yami? What could I tell him? How do I organize all of these jumbled emotions into one coherent thought? Kami! Ryou is so much better at writing than I am!
"I..." my voice cracks and I stop. Yami doesn't say anything and so I continue on. "I... I would tell this person how much I love and appreciate the little things that he does for me. I know that he thinks that I don't notice--but I do. The little presents, the thoughtful things that are useful and he knows that I could use during the day.
"I love the feeling of closeness that I share with him. Most people would feel uncomfortable with that type of closeness, but I don't. I love feeling his arms wrapped around me and knowing that nothing bad can ever touch me while I'm entangled in his arms.
"I love his facial expressions--how they flit over his face. How he raises an eyebrow when he's amused but doesn't want to laugh out loud, how he gnaws on his lower lip when he's thinking. How he's honorable and gentlemanly...something that is very hard to find nowadays. How he can show mercy when asked and how he believes--without a doubt--that goodness will ultimately prevail.
"I love _him._ Everything and anything about him. How could I possibly not?"
"Him?" Yami whispers.
Oh, no... Did I just say 'him' when I was speaking? Looking over my conversation, I realize that I _did_. NOW what am I to do? I've just basically ruined everything for myself. Now I want to cry. Instead, I put all four chair legs on the floor and open my eyes.
Yami's eyes are dark with an emotion that I recognize because it's an emotion that I know is shining in my eyes every time that I look at him. But it seems as if he's better at hiding his emotions than I am. So very much better...
"You need not write your letter, aibou, because every single word you have said to me is written in my heart." He opens his arms to me and smiles gently. As I stare at him, a silver tear slowly rolls down his cheek to drip off of his jawline. "Aishiteru..."
I give a choked-back cry and fall into his arms, clutching at him as if he was my lifeline. In so many ways, he IS my lifeline. I love him. I love him so very, very much. "Aishiteru..." I whisper back, hugging him tightly.