Severus is going to be OOC. I had to make him that way because he's
affected by love and love makes people act crazy. ^^
Chapter 2: Severus
Why am I doing this? I've asked myself a hundred times since I dispatched that owl this morning, the second I woke as a matter of fact. It was all I could think about and yet he won't even know who sent it. How low have I become to fall in love with Sirius Black? Of all people?! Why couldnt it have been Lucius?! Oh thats right, Lucius has affections for that scrawny Lupin. I bet your wondering, does Lucius know? Of course Lucius knows. I had to tell him since he told me in strictest secrey that he was dating Lupin and had been for three months. I didnt bother with asking for details. No fucking way did I want to hear about that.
So, I'm sitting here at the Slytherin table anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mail. There's Sirius in his beautiful glory, flanked by Potter and Pettigrew. Lucius and Lupin must be doing things right now, that I dont want to know about, dont even want to think about. Okay, Lupin is attractive in is own but he's too...feminine for my preferences. Now Sirius? (When did I start calling him Sirius and not Black?) He's everything. I sound like some romantic sap, which I am not! Romance is not my forte. Masochism and sadism are. Though, I wouldn't use those tactics on Sirius. I let my forehead drop against the table and bang it a couple times. What is wrong with me?! How could I forget? I. Am. In. Love. With. Sirius. Black. My head hurts and damnit all, there's going to be a bruise. I gingerly touch my marred forehead. I dont think it will bruise. It would be a constant reminder of my stupidity that I the great potions master, the greasy git (I will let you in on a little something- MY HAIR IS NOT GREASY! Thank you very much), the vile Slytherin, and to some, The Death Eater (ominous, Oooo) actually had the gall to fall in love. With a beautiful, blue eyed GRYFFINDOR! I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. Oh what the hell, I am crazy. Crazy in love... NO! Damn those cliches!
I want Sirius Black. I love Sirius Black. I want to have Sirius Black's baby. I pause in my thinking. Okay, I can't have his baby but it was worth a shot. I dont know what to do. I've never been in love. I dont know how to act. Unfortunately, I have to stick to far away admiring. Sirius wouldn't be too pleased if he learned his secret love was me. Could you imagine the horror? Severus Snape and Sirius Black? How could ~that~ even begin to happen. He's probably into that Potter twit. I'm just Severus Snape; plain looks, boring, and a smart-ass. Nothing special there.
Sirius is looking over here at the Slytherin table. I see his eyes dart to Narcissa. Ah, he must be putting two-and-two together. I think Lupin has just been found out. The idea must've dawned on Potter too. Look my way Sirius so I can see you. Even if I can't touch you, let me drink in your beauty. YAGH! I'm going to be spitting fucking poetry! Severus Snape the Poet. That doesn't sound right. Severus Snape the boyfriend of Sirius Black. Yuck, too sappy. Severus Snape the Sirius Black fucker. That would serve its purpose but are we forgetting one thing? Severus Snape the git who will never have Sirius Black because he's too ugly, greasy, and evil.
The owls are coming. Where is Buttercup? The owl isn't mine! Do you think I'd name my pet something so disgusting? The owl is Professor Rose's. Why she named her owl that revolting Buttercup is beyond me. There she is. Sirius seems to be shocked he doesnt have a hundred owls lined up, like last year. Oh no, the only owl your getting this year is mine. Buttercup throws the letter at Sirius's lap and Potter's jaw falls open. Ha, thought that Sirius would get more, did you? I see Sirius looking at the envelope. I am proud to say that I made it. I found out Sirius's two favorite plants, the Loriel and Honeysuckle, from a drawing of his. What, thought I wouldn't do research? Come on, if your in love your supposed to find out those stupid things. Whats their favorite color? Whats their favorite animal? Crap like that.
He's opening it and I can't help but wince. The poem was awful. I've never wrote anything like it before. It gets to the point and thats what counts. Right? He's not laughing. Is that a good sign? I feel my palms sweat. He's smiling. What a lovely smile he has. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I hate this. I LOATHE this feeling of complete and total helplessness. I've NEVER been vulnerable in my life and if Sirius were to crumble my letter up, I would break down and cry. It would be either I cry or I glomp him. I said glomp. Only nitwit girls in love say glomp. I'm at the point of no return. I'm deep in this entire love thing. I only hope I dont drown.
He's reading it! What does he think? I bet he's dissappointed that he doesnt know who wrote it. He'd be even more dissappointed if he knew it was me. Lucky for me, I'm able to keep my face impassive. I never give my emotions away. He looks shocked. So do Pettigrew and Potter. Is it that hard to believe that someone ~actually~ loves Sirius and not lusts after him?
"Why dont you just tell him it was you?" that lethargic drawl comes from next to me. Only Lucius Malfoy could emit that. He's smirking at me but there's that warm, caring light in his grey eyes. Lucius is perhaps the only person who's ever gave a damn about me. Why couldn't we have fallen in love with each other?
"Are you insane Lucius? He's never think twice about being with me. Your forget, I'm the greasy git."
He places a hand on my shoulder. "You'll never know if you dont try and your not a greasy git. Your one of the most beautiful men I know so dont give me that bullshit. Do you understand me Severus? I do not want you to ridicule yourself."
His voice has taken a sharp edge and its best to just agree with Lucius whenever he gets that tone. "Yes Mummy." He rolls his eyes, punching my shoulder. I see Lupin staring at us. Scared I'm going to take your lover? You have nothing to worry about. I only want your best friend. "Luc, if...if you weren't with Lupin and I wasn't pining at Sirius, would we be together?"
"Of course we would!" He sobers as he sees Narcissa waving him over. "Damn woman. I have a meeting with an angel during lunch. Do you think you could tell her some elaborate lie?"
"Anything for you Lucius."
"Thank you Sevvy. Your my best friend and I love you tons. Now, wish me luck with this grotesque sappy meeting with Narcissa."
"Good luck." Lucius winks and leaves to join Narcissa. I finish eating and leave the Great Hall. I then collide with a solid wall, no not a wall, a person. I raise my eyes (I hate being so damn short! When will I get my growth spurt?) to meet the object of my affections. I tense, mouth going dry. Oh shit...
"Watch where your going," he mumbles, surprising me.
"Learn out of clever insults, Black?" Damnit! Why must I taunt him just to hear that silken voice? How can I earn his love if I'm here making fun of him?
"Fuck off Snape," he snarls, pushing past me to retreat. Thats the Sirius I know and love. I should be the last person he suspects. Its going to be great fun to see how many people he accuses. I wonder where on the list will Lucius will be?
**
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Chapter 2: Severus
Why am I doing this? I've asked myself a hundred times since I dispatched that owl this morning, the second I woke as a matter of fact. It was all I could think about and yet he won't even know who sent it. How low have I become to fall in love with Sirius Black? Of all people?! Why couldnt it have been Lucius?! Oh thats right, Lucius has affections for that scrawny Lupin. I bet your wondering, does Lucius know? Of course Lucius knows. I had to tell him since he told me in strictest secrey that he was dating Lupin and had been for three months. I didnt bother with asking for details. No fucking way did I want to hear about that.
So, I'm sitting here at the Slytherin table anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mail. There's Sirius in his beautiful glory, flanked by Potter and Pettigrew. Lucius and Lupin must be doing things right now, that I dont want to know about, dont even want to think about. Okay, Lupin is attractive in is own but he's too...feminine for my preferences. Now Sirius? (When did I start calling him Sirius and not Black?) He's everything. I sound like some romantic sap, which I am not! Romance is not my forte. Masochism and sadism are. Though, I wouldn't use those tactics on Sirius. I let my forehead drop against the table and bang it a couple times. What is wrong with me?! How could I forget? I. Am. In. Love. With. Sirius. Black. My head hurts and damnit all, there's going to be a bruise. I gingerly touch my marred forehead. I dont think it will bruise. It would be a constant reminder of my stupidity that I the great potions master, the greasy git (I will let you in on a little something- MY HAIR IS NOT GREASY! Thank you very much), the vile Slytherin, and to some, The Death Eater (ominous, Oooo) actually had the gall to fall in love. With a beautiful, blue eyed GRYFFINDOR! I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. Oh what the hell, I am crazy. Crazy in love... NO! Damn those cliches!
I want Sirius Black. I love Sirius Black. I want to have Sirius Black's baby. I pause in my thinking. Okay, I can't have his baby but it was worth a shot. I dont know what to do. I've never been in love. I dont know how to act. Unfortunately, I have to stick to far away admiring. Sirius wouldn't be too pleased if he learned his secret love was me. Could you imagine the horror? Severus Snape and Sirius Black? How could ~that~ even begin to happen. He's probably into that Potter twit. I'm just Severus Snape; plain looks, boring, and a smart-ass. Nothing special there.
Sirius is looking over here at the Slytherin table. I see his eyes dart to Narcissa. Ah, he must be putting two-and-two together. I think Lupin has just been found out. The idea must've dawned on Potter too. Look my way Sirius so I can see you. Even if I can't touch you, let me drink in your beauty. YAGH! I'm going to be spitting fucking poetry! Severus Snape the Poet. That doesn't sound right. Severus Snape the boyfriend of Sirius Black. Yuck, too sappy. Severus Snape the Sirius Black fucker. That would serve its purpose but are we forgetting one thing? Severus Snape the git who will never have Sirius Black because he's too ugly, greasy, and evil.
The owls are coming. Where is Buttercup? The owl isn't mine! Do you think I'd name my pet something so disgusting? The owl is Professor Rose's. Why she named her owl that revolting Buttercup is beyond me. There she is. Sirius seems to be shocked he doesnt have a hundred owls lined up, like last year. Oh no, the only owl your getting this year is mine. Buttercup throws the letter at Sirius's lap and Potter's jaw falls open. Ha, thought that Sirius would get more, did you? I see Sirius looking at the envelope. I am proud to say that I made it. I found out Sirius's two favorite plants, the Loriel and Honeysuckle, from a drawing of his. What, thought I wouldn't do research? Come on, if your in love your supposed to find out those stupid things. Whats their favorite color? Whats their favorite animal? Crap like that.
He's opening it and I can't help but wince. The poem was awful. I've never wrote anything like it before. It gets to the point and thats what counts. Right? He's not laughing. Is that a good sign? I feel my palms sweat. He's smiling. What a lovely smile he has. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I hate this. I LOATHE this feeling of complete and total helplessness. I've NEVER been vulnerable in my life and if Sirius were to crumble my letter up, I would break down and cry. It would be either I cry or I glomp him. I said glomp. Only nitwit girls in love say glomp. I'm at the point of no return. I'm deep in this entire love thing. I only hope I dont drown.
He's reading it! What does he think? I bet he's dissappointed that he doesnt know who wrote it. He'd be even more dissappointed if he knew it was me. Lucky for me, I'm able to keep my face impassive. I never give my emotions away. He looks shocked. So do Pettigrew and Potter. Is it that hard to believe that someone ~actually~ loves Sirius and not lusts after him?
"Why dont you just tell him it was you?" that lethargic drawl comes from next to me. Only Lucius Malfoy could emit that. He's smirking at me but there's that warm, caring light in his grey eyes. Lucius is perhaps the only person who's ever gave a damn about me. Why couldn't we have fallen in love with each other?
"Are you insane Lucius? He's never think twice about being with me. Your forget, I'm the greasy git."
He places a hand on my shoulder. "You'll never know if you dont try and your not a greasy git. Your one of the most beautiful men I know so dont give me that bullshit. Do you understand me Severus? I do not want you to ridicule yourself."
His voice has taken a sharp edge and its best to just agree with Lucius whenever he gets that tone. "Yes Mummy." He rolls his eyes, punching my shoulder. I see Lupin staring at us. Scared I'm going to take your lover? You have nothing to worry about. I only want your best friend. "Luc, if...if you weren't with Lupin and I wasn't pining at Sirius, would we be together?"
"Of course we would!" He sobers as he sees Narcissa waving him over. "Damn woman. I have a meeting with an angel during lunch. Do you think you could tell her some elaborate lie?"
"Anything for you Lucius."
"Thank you Sevvy. Your my best friend and I love you tons. Now, wish me luck with this grotesque sappy meeting with Narcissa."
"Good luck." Lucius winks and leaves to join Narcissa. I finish eating and leave the Great Hall. I then collide with a solid wall, no not a wall, a person. I raise my eyes (I hate being so damn short! When will I get my growth spurt?) to meet the object of my affections. I tense, mouth going dry. Oh shit...
"Watch where your going," he mumbles, surprising me.
"Learn out of clever insults, Black?" Damnit! Why must I taunt him just to hear that silken voice? How can I earn his love if I'm here making fun of him?
"Fuck off Snape," he snarls, pushing past me to retreat. Thats the Sirius I know and love. I should be the last person he suspects. Its going to be great fun to see how many people he accuses. I wonder where on the list will Lucius will be?
**
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