Warnings: Angst and lots of it, shounen-ai (duh), language, dirty thoughts on the part of Lockei… Did I mention angst and sadness…? *evil grin*
Disclaimer: I dun own any of the GW characters, nor the Head Mage anymore, for that matter, because I don't want him. :P I do, however, own Shiakara, Tia'ara, Liraya, Kiranuy and the various mages associated with those two save Lockei, who belongs to Misty Yuy. Dun steal 'em!
Author's Notes: I seem to be making you wait for long stretches, don't I? I'm sorry. This one stewed at the back of my mind for a long time, but I couldn't get it down, then over two nights, it just happened and there it was. Near perfect! I'm damn proud of this chapter. I think it's the best piece of writing I've ever produced. See what you think.
~ ~ ~
The night was silent. It was the kind of night Duo would normally spend with Quatre, Wu Fei, Trowa and Hilde. They would lay on their backs – except for Wu Fei of course – and look at the stars, talking of nothing and everything. They were all young yet and they spoke of the future, but they'd lived long enough and they spoke of the past too. They remembered favourite festivals, arguments that, at the time seemed very hurtful and upsetting but, now, were merely laughable. They remembered births and deaths, the ceremonies for both. They spoke of the stars and wondered what was beyond them.
Instead tonight, hoof-beats shattered the silence, their steady beat synchronising with Duo's heartbeat and the song in his mind of blood and death. A song he'd heard the elves sing before the battle he'd lost his father in. He hadn't told Heero that. Some things were too deep, too close to tell even to his lover, the man of his heart.
A single tear slipped down Duo's cheek, glinting in the moonlight like a lonely diamond. The wind of his speed whipped his braid out behind him and the chain had come loose long ago, so that it chimed and tinkled as it too flicked about in the wind.
He remembered it as though it were just yesterday…
~ ~ ~
"But, Father, I want to ride out with you and the others. I'm old enough! I am!" Duo whines, tugging on the bottom of his father's tunic.
"You're still a boy, Duo. You're not nearly old enough," his father replies, ruffling his hair with an affectionate smile. His son is but ten and he doesn't want Duo exposed to battle yet – would keep him from it forever, were that a possibility.
The clans are at war again. It seems they have been almost constantly as of late, short, bloody skirmishes that resolve everything and nothing all at once. It would seem there is peace, and not a month later, they're being marched on again, with no option but to retaliate. They have lost so many, but for some reason, none can see sense. The wars are certainly nothing but senseless.
"But I am old enough, I am!" Duo insists.
His father chuckles softly and lifts him up to his shoulders, so Duo can see above the heads of all the preparing warriors.
"Do you see your mother, Duo?" he asks.
"Yes…" Duo replies uncertainly, his child's instincts telling him his father is going to try and trick him here.
There she is, across the way, worrying with the mane of his father's horse, fighting the animal into his bridle. She hides her emotions well, but Duo can see anyway, as can his father, that she's upset.
"Your mother is worried for me, Duo. She doesn't want me to ride out at all. She would tie me down, were she able, to keep me from going. How much harder do you think it would be for her if you were going out too? Not only that, but I truly need you to look after her. The baby is due soon, remember, and you mother will need help around the house while I'm gone. Who would do it, if you were to leave too? You know she'd never ask one of the others, she's too proud for that, but you can see when she needs help and provide it. I need you to stay here, Duo. I need you to be there for her. There are far more important things than battle, my son."
Duo's father smiles sadly and lifts him down, the young elf looking up at his tall father. He pushes bangs out of upset violet eyes, the truth of his pestering coming to the fore as he speaks again.
"Then why must you leave, Father? If Mother's more important than battle, why are you leaving us?"
His father kneels, then, and puts his hands on the young elf's shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. Duo meets that gaze head on, bold and unafraid of the intensity in his father's eyes. He's never afraid, ever. He's brave as his father. Good little elf.
"I'm going because your mother's so important, as are you and the new baby. I'm not riding into the battle for the sake of the letting of blood and the thrill that many claim comes from battle. I hate it. It's a terrible thing that only shows our barbaric, weaker side. Never enjoy battle, Duo. Never. I ride out today, leaving you and your mother and your new sister or brother so that you can be safe. I'll protect you through this battle and keep our home and our clan safe and happy. Perhaps this battle will be the final one, the one to bring a lasting peace. I hope so, but I don't know. Do you understand, Duo?"
Duo shakes his head, all mixed up from the different things his father has said. The elf smiles at his son and puts his main point forward again, easier this time for the youngling.
"I'm going so I can protect the three most important things to me; you, your mother and your new sister or brother. I'm going because I love you."
Duo nods finally, seriously, especially for a boy of his age, but he does understand. His father has told him this before but, for some reason unknown to him, this time he finally understands.
"Alright, Father. I'll take care of Mother while you're away. I promise. I'll keep her safe, too, and the baby. I'll sing to it, like you do."
His father smiles, then lifts his head as a single clear note from the horns peals out across the gathering. He kisses Duo's forehead and stands, taking the youngling's hand so as to get him through the crowd safely and back to his mother.
"Don't go…" She tries one last time, catching a fistful of his shirt, blue-violet eyes pleading with him.
"You know I have to," he replies softly, bending his head to lightly kiss her lips.
"You don't have to! There's no law that says you must, you just think you must! Do you think I care if you're not out there 'protecting' us?! Of course I don't! I would rather have you here, safe! And the baby will be here soon. Would you have it born without its father here to see? This campaign will be a long one. We've been told as much. You'll still be out there when it comes…"
"And would you rather have our child born in a slave camp somewhere, or in another elvish chieftain's harem?"
"One isn't going to make a difference! Win or lose, one single man won't change the outcome!"
"He can, love, and you know that. I must go."
She turns away from him, taking Duo's hand, and says nothing further to him, only walks away, tears finally breaking free and flowing down her pale cheeks.
"Mother… we didn't say goodbye!" Duo cries, trying to tug her back as their army picks up the thread of a war-song, blood and death.
"He knows we love him. That's all that matters," his mother murmurs.
It's not long after, a few days only, when the news comes. A messenger from the army. They were ambushed just before they hit the true battleground. They didn't lose too many men, only a dozen which, in the scheme of things, isn't all that much. To the families of the twelve men, however, it means the world.
Silently, the elves left in the clan gather around the messenger in little groups, clinging to one another and relieved every time a name is read that isn't one of theirs. It's a strange mixture of feelings, though. Relief he isn't your man, horror he's one of your friend's men, guilt at the relief, but still overwhelming relief. Glad he's someone else's. And the chill at the cry, loud and wailing from one. The next, naught but a near-silent gasp and tears muffled in someone else's shoulder.
Then the name is yours and it's worse than anything on earth.
Duo barely understands at first, who the man on the horse is and what the names are. But then his mother's hand flies to her mouth, her eyes widening in horror, and she whispers "No… Oh, please, no!" And it's her face buried in his grandmother's shoulder and her silent sobs that tear through his soul. And he knows.
"Father…?" he whispers, then tugs on his mother's skirt, trying to deny what he knows to be true. "No, Mother, he's not… He can't be… Mama…? We have to go find him! We have to go! Mama! Don't cry! We have to go find him! Mama! Mama!"
~ ~ ~
"Mama…" Duo murmured into the screaming wind, shaking his head a little.
His mother had lost the baby not long after that, so distraught and distressed was she that the baby couldn't take it. He, yes, he was still born not three nights later. His mother, thankfully, was a strong women and lived for Duo. She could have given up, Duo had seen it happen with others when they lost their menfolk, but she hadn't.
He wondered how she was faring now…
Duo shook his head. He didn't have time to worry about his mother, for now it was his turn to protect what he loved. He still remembered his father's message, still carried it with him and understood it even better now. He would give his life, were it needed, to see his lover safe. Milliardo too, for he did care about the Seer, even if he'd been a prick. It was Milliardo who'd saved him from having a rather painful time with Heero that first night he was at the University. And Eli'iarkin, Relena – yes, even her – and the other mages he'd come to know and care about.
"Heero baby… You would have stopped me, I know it. But I can do this. I can stop him. I know I can. You would have said no, if I had've told you. That's why I had to go without telling you. You understand, right? I hope so. I hope you do…" Duo whispered to himself, body moving easily with the gait of the fine horse beneath him.
It really sucked, he reflected, that when he finally got to test the paces of this beautiful animal, he didn't have time to concentrate on it or take it through any real number of tests. Hopefully, he would get to ride it again sometime.
And echoing ever onwards through the night, the beats of the horse's fine hooves, still keeping time with his heartbeat and the song of blood and death…
* * *
"This is getting us nowhere! I've had enough of this back and forth argumentative talk!" Heero snarled to the room in general, then turned his back and stalked out, expecting that Duo would follow him. When he heard no steps behind him, he turned and frowned. Surely his lover wouldn't have bothered staying in there without him?
Heero carefully put his head back into the argument, not wishing to be seen, and scanned the crowd of mages.
Duo's group of friends were there, the centaurs and the Pantherin all gathered together in a group, watching with interest, Shiakara nearby them. The faery was off by the wall, standing very still. Heero frowned. Quatre was standing altogether too still…
He walked over to the faery and touched his shoulder, getting no reaction whatsoever. He knew this, it was a spell and the instant he set about un-weaving it, he also knew who had cast it. Damn Duo yet again for his perfect weaving! Heero muttered something nasty under his breath as he fought with the delicate thread of the spell to get it undone without leaving Quatre permanently damaged.
He did eventually get through and Quatre instantly latched onto his waist, babbling incoherently.
"Quatre…" Heero tried to speak, but the faery largely ignored him. "Quatre… Quatre, calm down! What's wrong?"
"Duo! Duo's gone! He went to… t-t-t-to… face that man alone! I couldn't stop him and then he did that spell so I couldn't tell anyone! Oh, Heero! We have to go after him! Now! Please!"
Heero was stunned into paralysis and not by any spell, but by sheer, unadulterated fear. His lover, his Duo, his reason for living – oh, that was so sappy… yet nonetheless true for all that – the man he loved with everything he had, was even now in terrible danger and alone!
"No…" he managed in a whisper. "Quatre, you can't be… He can't have…"
"He has! Come on!" Quatre cried, sending a telepathic summons to Trowa and his friends as he tugged on Heero's sleeve. "We have to go help him!"
Quatre ran off through the door, Shiakara, Trowa, Wu Fei, Tia'ara and Noin close behind, leaving Heero to gather himself alone.
"No, please, no… Duo…" the mage whispered, struggling to get himself under control. He managed it as efficiently as he could, then hurried after the others, a silent but fervent prayer repeating itself over and over in his head.
Be safe, Duo. Be safe…* * *
"He comes!"
The call came from one of those idiot creatures standing watch and Lockei lifted his head with a slight yawn. One mage. One mage and ten of them, if you counted Une, who had joined their ranks when that thing called out. So two rows of ten mages faced up to the coming one, watching as he pulled his horse to a standstill and slipped easily off, then slapped his rump, sending him off home at a gallop.
"We wouldn't want him hurt, now would we…?" came the calm, even voice as the stranger stepped up, revealing himself as someone Lockei would gladly leap into bed with. He was beautiful… and powerful, if the strength of his shield was anything to go by.
"Duo Maxwell," Treize greeted the elf from where he stood off to the side of his mages, upon a small rise. He bowed politely.
"It fits with everything Milliardo told us that you wouldn't dare face me yourself, but put…" Duo paused to count. "…Ten mages between us. You're a coward."
"A coward? I think not. Shrewd, perhaps, would better describe me," Treize replied with an infinite aristocracy which made Duo's stomach turn.
The man was beautiful, there was no denying that, and he oozed sexuality with every move. He possessed an animal magnetism which Duo responded to, no matter how hard he tried not to. And yet, even with his perfect manners and his aristocratic smile, even with that magnetism and the raw sex that he silently spoke of, there was something… off about him. As though he perhaps had a screw loose upstairs, or a couple of marbles missing. Perhaps, as Duo's mother had always used to say, he was a few cards short of a full deck.
"There's a limit to shrewdness, Khushrenada," Duo pointed out softly. "I think you're afraid of me. You put ten mages between yourself and I, one mage, alone. Why not come down here and face me yourself? I wouldn't use magic. I'd keep it fair. Just a good ol' fashioned boxing match. I mean, you've obviously got the advantage over me. You're taller, bigger, more solid, older and therefore wiser… What reason do you have to stay up there and not take my challenge?"
Duo watched Treize carefully, waiting for his reply. It was going to be difficult, but he'd have to keep one eye on the man the whole time, lest he move around behind while Duo was busy fighting for his life and put a knife through his back. That off-ness worried Duo. It made Treize unpredictable and he had no doubt that it also made the man dishonest and without scruple. If that weren't the case, then Duo wouldn't be here because Treize wouldn't be a threat. He wouldn't be persecuting every mage for who-knew-what-reason if that something wasn't wrong. Duo wondered what it was.
"I think that would be far beyond shrewd, my young elf."
"Why would it? Perhaps there's something I don't know. Funny, because I was sure you were a man and not – to coin a phrase – a mouse."
"Oh, I'm a man, my friend. Your dear Milliardo could attest to that fact…"
"I wouldn't go so far as to call Mage Peacecraft 'dear' at this point in time. I respect him and his power, but 'dear' is one step to far. I'm still not even sure if I like him. And when you say 'attest' are you sure you don't mean 'detest'…?"
A low blow, to be sure, and it did indeed seem to hit a nerve.
"He does not detest me, elfin! He will be the first saved, and I will do it by my own hand free of charge. I love him and he… he loves me."
"You don't know what love is," Duo spat, knowing it for truth, for all he read in Treize's eyes was lust and he knew Milliardo was far from upset at being taken from the man's… 'care'.
"I know I love Milliardo and I know I loved G-" Treize cut himself off and shook his head. "It is none of your concern, at any rate, for you will be the first to die. Be thankful, elfin, for yours will be a swift death in battle while your fellows will beg for death long before it comes to them."
"Milliardo doesn't love you," Duo said absently as he strengthened his shields in preparation for the barrage he knew would come. "He doesn't love you and he doesn't love Heero. He never loved that games-keeper I saw him kissing three days into my stay at the University, nor the Head Mage's body servant – I saw more than kissing that time. He didn't love the young apprentice that time in the stable yard either, nor the one he was… playing with before we stole him from under your nose. He found his someone and his someone had another. Perhaps he'll find another someone along the line somewhere, but you're not it. He would kill you too, had he the chance, but I'm going to do it for him, and for Heero, and for all the others. You won't set that spellsphere."
Oh, he'd really tweaked the nerve that time. Treize actually looked angry!
"Kill him." The words were calm enough, for all the anger, and they echoed off the sheer rock wall behind Treize, repeated over and over.
To Duo, there seemed to be a terrible finality to those words and shudder ran the length of his spine.
But there was no time to think anymore as ten identical mage bolts thudded into his shield, bursting into a million sparks of a billion colours that sparked and dazzled his eyes. No matter. He didn't need his eyes to reach out and imbed his will in the shield of the nearest mage, a thin tendril of his mind tickling that of the young – very young – man.
~Hello, O'yan… Feeling lucky this day? Poor boy… feeling lucky and being lucky are two very, very different things. I can tell you, right now without even having to think about it, that you're not at all lucky. You work for a madman and he thinks ten is enough to best me. Pah. Wrong. I was trained by the Master of the Masters and besides, I've a natural talent for all this. I can teach myself what I don't already know and I can learn it before you've even had time to blink. Oh… look at that. Trying to singe my hair with that fireball, eh? No such luck. My shielding is better than that. You'll have to work harder. What's wrong? Am I making you nervous? Can't get me out of your head? You should try harder. It can't be easy, trying to kill me and force me out of your mind at the same time. Maybe you should go out of your own mind…? Wouldn't that be easier? No matter, O'yan… You're dead…~
And he was indeed. All that talk, the fight O'yan was having trying to get Duo out of his head was nothing but a distraction from what the elf was really doing – collapsing the young mage's shielding. Before O'yan had even realised the ruse, a spear made of ice flew at him, straight through his chest and heart.
Quick and painless Duo thought, brushing away a tear. It'll be easier for them that way. Gods, I don't want to do this…
"Shield your minds! He'll poison them otherwise," came a female voice, and Duo squinted to see where it came from.
"Scary…" Duo murmured as his eyes set upon on the stern, sour-faced Une. He suddenly felt even worse for these young ones in front of him. Une next then, for without their leader, they wouldn't be nearly so organized and the bolts wouldn't shake his shielding all at once for sure.
"I learned this one from my Master, and modified it some…" Duo said conversationally as he made a small sign in the air with one finger, then murmured a word in a language few ever learned.
A tiny yellow ball, crackling and zapping with lightning, appeared where his finger had been and he waved it off like a pesky dog. His lips kept moving however, as he silently directed it, lifting a hand when it hovered over Une's head. Une tried to fireball it, but it absorbed the energy, the same result with any of the other Elements.
"I excel in Elements, milady," Duo spared a moment to say before turning his hand so its palm was downwards, then lowering it, as though gently pushing something into the ground. The ball went slowly, Duo's hand indeed seeming to push it, and when it touched the Lady's shields, it… popped – Une could find no better word to describe it – and spread above her like a suspended blanket, then gently lowered and became part of her shield, energizing it with electricity.
"That can only help me," Une said with a smirk, sending a bolt of the energy back at him, which he easily deflected before lifting both hands, grabbing at the air and pulling clouds to him. He smiled sweetly at Une and stirred a finger in the clouds, whipping them up into a storm without too much difficulty, though the toll on his energies was larger with Atmosphere than Elements or Telepathy.
Once he was done with his little storm, he gently guided it above Une and her lackeys and set most of it to striking the eight others with bolts of lightning while the small part above Une simply rained and rained hard. The energy in her shields reacted rather badly to the rain, another quick death. The fast shock stopped her heart in an instant.
Duo jerked his hand sideways, halting the lightning.
"I don't want to have to kill you all. O'yan was hard enough and Une… well… she wasn't so hard… Damn near as evil as Treize… Still, I don't like killing anyone and I don't want to have to kill you. Leave now, if you value your life."
They looked to Treize and Duo sighed. Damn them. They did think they could best him, but Duo knew, knew they couldn't. It might stretch him to his thinnest, but he would outlast the remaining eight. He'd been taught to well, knew too much, was still teaching himself too much for them to have any chance. But he knew Treize would push them to the bitter end and he had a horrible feeling they wouldn't disagree.
Duo closed his eyes and pulled his next spell together, toying with the idea of simply incapacitating them, but threw it to the side instantly. It wasn't feasible. He couldn't risk the chance of one of them being smart enough that they could fight their way free of a sleep spell or a paralysis spell or anything of that sort. He must kill or be killed and he had brought this upon himself. He would bear this burden and live with it the rest of his life, but he would do it for his Heero, his Master.
He would do it for love.
* * *
"If we'd only known exactly where he was!" Heero lamented, trying to push his mount to greater efforts. "We could have Translocated there!"
"What ifs, if onlys, maybes and I wish's don't help!" Wu Fei spat, keeping level with Heero with no effort whatsoever.
Noin galloped beside Wu Fei, Tia'ara and Trowa on Heero's other side. Quatre and Shiakara flew above, keeping up with little effort and barely any spell.
But Heero was petrified. Something inside of him sung of death and the stars seemed to weep. It wasn't right. It wasn't right. It had been engineered this way by Treize for his purposes and that whisper inside the mage told him those purposes would be fulfilled. Duo wasn't going to live through this, no matter how strong, no matter how well taught, no matter how much he kept teaching himself.
"I don't want to lose him… I'm going ahead," Heero called and didn't give the others a chance to protest, only whispered a spell over his horse and closed his eyes as he fed its hooves, pushing them to twice their normal speed and leaving the others in his dust.
It was strange, Heero had time to think, how the sound of the hoofbeats on the ground seemed to tease him with his lover's name over and over; Duo, Duo, Duo, Duo, Duo… He was losing it. He had little, if any control left, and that scared him, but not nearly so much as the thought of losing Duo scared him. He couldn't do it, he just wouldn't be able to go on without the elf.
And to think, not a day ago, he was in a quandary over where his love lay. There was no question now, no doubt in the way his heart hammered against his ribs, as though trying to get to Duo even faster. There was no chance there was another for him in the way his stomach threatened to give back everything it had taken in the last twenty-four hours.
He loved the elven mage.
* * *
It was getting harder. All but three mages lay dead on the ground and Duo couldn't keep the tears at bay. He couldn't see through them and he was weakening. Yet the bolts kept coming, kept hammering at his shielding and a litany repeated itself in his mind.
Kill or be killed… Kill or be killedKill or bekilledKillor bekilledKillorbekilledKillbekilledKillkilledkillkilledkillkilled…
But it didn't make it better. It didn't help as he found a fault in the weave of Liraya's shield and worked at it until it was a gaping a hole that she couldn't stop up, no matter how hard she tried. It didn't help with the horror on her face as he pushed inside that hole, filled the shield with air and kept filling it until it crushed her.
Killorbekilled…It didn't help as he found Lockei's connection to the earth from which he was drawing power and severed it, watched the young mage's shield flicker, flicker again and vanish. It didn't help to muffle Lockei's scream as Duo pulled a number of boulders from the rock wall behind them and simply dropped his cargo atop the young, now shield-less mage.
Killorbekilled…And it certainly didn't help when Kiranuy put everything he had into a mage bolt of intense power.
Killorbekilled…
It shattered Duo's shield, for the elven mage was fast running out of energy and he needed it all for offence, but there would be none, for there were no shields left and the bolt was still coming. Duo closed his eyes, felt more tears come, a sobbing apology whispered through his soul for the hurt he was causing Heero by this.
Killorbekilled…But death didn't come. The bolt was forestalled. There was another shield, one Duo didn't know he even had, one Heero had woven over him. A permanent shield until such time as Duo could keep himself protected. His Master hadn't thought that time fully here yet, and so, hadn't taken the shield away. And yet, Duo wasn't happy he was still alive…
Killorbekilled…And he did.
Killorbekilled…With what little energy he had left, he wrapped a cord of air, thin as wire, around Kiranuy's throat and pulled it tight.
Killorbekilled…And Kiranuy – affectionately known as Kira by his best friend, the woman he wanted to marry, had she ever given him the chance, the woman Duo had just recently killed – died with hatred in his eyes and two choked out words on his lips.
"Fucking elf…"
Duo fell to his knees with energy left for nothing but crying, which he did for only a second before a shadow fell across him.
"Good show, elfin. I honestly didn't think you'd kill all of them all by yourself but… Oh dear… You've no energy left. You're drained. You can't even stand. You've failed, elfin. Failed your fellows and failed those you love. Failed your lover – oh, yes, I know about him. I did have spies in the University after all, until you helped find them out. Poor little elfin… You've failed them all and you have nothing to left to fight me with. You must say goodbye now, little elfin, but there will be no one to say goodbye to, because you are going to die here, alone. Silly to come by yourself. Farewell, elfin. Enjoy hell, won't you?"
Duo forced his eyes open and looked up at Treize, loathing the man with every fibre of his body. He couldn't stand, Treize was right. He could barely hold himself upright on his knees, could barely keep his eyes open and his head up, but he managed it and spat at Treize's feet.
"Heero will stop you," he said with quiet conviction, barely even possessing the energy to say the words.
"He won't even come after me. He'll be inconsolable. He'll spend quite some time crying over your body, I should imagine…" Treize slipped a wicked looking knife out of his belt and ran his thumb along the flat of the shining blade. "Lovers do that…"
Duo knew it was coming, but it didn't make the pain any less. The knife was in his stomach before he could even think, and he wondered at the fact that it didn't hurt for a moment. But then the pain speared through him, even made it through the fog of his exhaustion as it radiated out from the knife and made his entire body jerk.
"Heero will kill you…" Duo managed, that quiet conviction still there, even though he spoke to Treize's back.
"He'll be too late by the time he leaves your side…" came the sure reply and Treize was on his horse and galloping off to the only place with enough natural, wild magic to support his spellsphere.
Duo looked down at the knife and absently wondered at how expensive it looked. A laugh threatened to bubble up inside of him, but he daren't let it free because he knew it'd be hysterical laughter. He coughed and that hurt so he closed his eyes, still kneeling there, arms wrapped around his belly below the knife as he hugged himself. The tears began afresh and that hurt too, but he couldn't stop them.
He cried for himself and he cried for the nine innocent mages he'd just killed, he even cried for Une. He cried for the Head Mage and he cried for Quatre, because he knew the faery wouldn't take this well. He cried for Trowa, because Quatre didn't and couldn't ever love him, and that must hurt. He cried for Wu Fei because the centaur was too damned thick to see what good friends he had. He cried for Milliardo because the mage had lost Nihrana and still longed for his heart.
Most of all, he cried for Heero.
"I'm sorry… Gods, Heero, I'm sorry…" he whimpered, and selfishly wished that his Master were here, a shoulder to cry on, instead of doing it alone. He would have to settle for second best, so he reached up and forcibly pulled the chain from his hair.
I love you…* * *
I love you…The three words resonated through Heero's soul and he closed his eyes, knowing, somehow, that everything wasn't right. He pushed more energy into the horse, increasing its pace yet again. He had to hurry, there wasn't much time, he knew this, knew it deep inside but didn't want to acknowledge it, didn't want to admit to himself what he was sure was true and certain.
But he could deny it no longer when his horse slowed and he looked up, eyes falling on Duo.
The elf lay on his back in a pool of his own blood, eyes closed and chest barely rising and falling with his breath. One hand was wrapped around the handle of a knife, the other, fisted on his chest, the gold chain from his braid twisted around his fingers.
"Duo…" Heero whispered brokenly, pulling the horse to a stop with no concern for the poor animal and leaping from the saddle in no time flat. He was at Duo's side even faster, kneeling in the blood and lifting the elf's head into his lap, tears threatening to take away what little composure he had left.
Once-brilliant violet eyes, now dulled by exhaustion and sorrow, slowly opened and met prussian blue, a tiny, painful smile touching pale lips, nearly devoid of colour altogether. Duo lifted his hand, the one about which the gold chain was twined, and cupped Heero's jaw.
"Heero…" he whispered.
"Shh… Duo… Duo, don't talk… I'll… I'll get help… You'll be alright," the mage said desperately, his voice breaking despite his best efforts to keep it even.
"Oh, Heero… Heero, baby… I-" Duo swallowed his words as he bit back a cry of pain, grimacing. "I'm so sorry… I… I'm so, so sorry…"
"Duo, please… Don't talk. Don't talk! You don't have anything to be sorry for." Heero nuzzled the hand on his cheek and stroked bangs soaked with blood and sweat back from the elf's face, smiling tenderly through the tears pooling in his eyes.
Duo brought his other hand up to take Heero's free hand, bringing it to his trembling lips to brush a faint kiss over it.
"I'm sorry I f-failed you… I'm s-sorry I couldn't…" Again Duo had to pause, his eyes squeezing shut in pain then opening determinedly to meet Heero's again. "Couldn't do what I h-had to do… c-couldn't k-kill Treize…"
"You haven't failed. You never have, Duo. Now shh, while I-"
"Heero… you shh. I'm n-not… I can't…"
"Duo… don't say it! It's not going to be like that, it's not!"
"It is, Heero. It's d-done." Duo closed his eyes again, swallowing convulsively, and managed to keep a whimper of pain to a hiss through clenched teeth.
"No…"
"Yes… You c-can't stop it, Heero… You're n-not… not a Healer and there isn't… isn't one close. J-just… promise me one… one t-thing…" Duo's voice was failing. It was barely a whisper now and his grip on Heero's hand wasn't so strong as it had been.
"No, Duo, no! I can't lose you!" A tear slipped down Heero's face to land with a soft patt on Duo's cheek where it mingled with the elf's own tears, past and present.
"Promise…" he whispered painfully, hand tightening on Heero's jaw a moment. "Promise me y-you'll… stop T-Treize. D… don't stay here so long that… that he… can do his spell… C-crying over m-my body won't… help… anyone…"
"Gods, Duo, don't say that! You're not… you're not going to die!"
Duo's eyes slipped shut and another soft smile touched his lips.
"Stubborn shit…" he whispered thinly, but amusedly nonetheless. "Promise…"
"Duo…" Heero murmured, his voice stretched thin and taut, close to snapping with grief. "Duo, I… I…"
"I know this is… h-hard on you, H-Heero… I'm sorry for… for that too… B-but he h-has to be s-stopped…"
"I promise… I'll go after him. I'll stop him and… and I'll avenge you…"
Duo smiled yet again at that.
"And don't… don't wither a-away on your own… L-let yourself love again…"
"I won't ever love another, Duo. Ev-"
"Yes… yes… you will… Do… Live… Don't… d-don't die with me… P-promise… promise me that, too…"
"I…"
"N-now, Heero! I… I… Everything's fading…"
"I… I… I promise, Duo… I'll try…"
"Good… Good… Thank you for… f-for everything… I… I-I love you, Heero…"
Heero stroked Duo's face, leaning into the hand still cupping his jaw, his eyes closed as tears streaked down his cheeks.
"I love you, Duo…" he whispered.
"Live…" came the thready reminder of his promise, then a hiss of pain, a gasp, a shudder, and Duo's hand, the chain still twisted around it, slipped from Heero's jaw.
Heero opened his eyes only to close them again when all his fears were confirmed. He bowed his head over Duo's, sobbing brokenly. He was sure he would never be able to stop crying. He still stroked Duo's face, murmuring incoherent, tender words to him through the tears and the sobbing.
He felt like he'd sat there forever with Duo's head in his lap, but it could only have been a few moments between the time that hand fell and the time the mage heard footsteps, cat-tread, hoof-beats and wolf-pads behind him.
"Heero…?" It was Shiakara who spoke finally and Heero flinched.
It seemed to him that to speak was a sacrilege in this moment and he didn't answer, only kept stroking and murmuring and crying, though more quietly now, sobs faded somewhat.
"D-Duo…?" Quatre this time, his voice trembling and Heero didn't to look to know the faery's bottom would be trembling too.
Silence reigned for what seemed yet another eternity, but this couldn't have been so long either.
The small group gathered around Duo, each showing their sadness in their own way, and the all visibly jumped when Heero's head snapped up, tears gone. His eyes snapped and spoke of wrath and death as he stood, gently laying Duo's head down.
"Look after him. Take him home," he murmured. "I've a promise to keep…"
He strode to his horse, uncaring of the blood on his dark robes, and climbed into the saddle, then kicked the animal into a gallop and faster again with a spell. He shut away the grief and loss for the time being and kept the anger and hatred close, stoking it and using it to bolster his magical energies. He would see Treize dead before the hour was out and he would stop this madness here and now. Then he would grieve. First, he would have revenge.
I love you…~ ~ ~
Okay. Okay, before anyone breaks out the tar-and-feathers, or gets a lynch mob together or threatens deprivation of chocolate or death by Relena-kisses, let me explain myself, ne? From the very beginning, this was going to happen. The point of this fic was to be devoid of a "Hollywood Ending". Granted, the thing wasn't going to be this long and I hadn't thought so many people would like it, but it was going to happen. I was sick of happy endings and I wanted a death. (Which, by the way, I'm sorry for not warning about, but I'm not one to ruin my plot-twists for the sake of a warning, save where a lemon's concerned. ^^') However, when I realised how badly I'd get whomped for doing this, I decided on something. I'll take this ending through to it's conclusion, to the finish of the fic, then I shall come back and write a happy ending, as much for myself as anyone else, because I'm rather fond of them too. So please, please don't kill me, okay? Okay…? There will be happy fluffyness, promise! (Oh, and do tell me what you thought, ne? I worked hard on this.)