Disclaimer: If I owned them, Harm would currently be getting involved with a girl from Vancouver, WA... so I think you're probably all glad I don't!
Author's note: This story really is about Harm and Mac. I know it doesn't seem like that at first glance, and it won't until about halfway through, but trust me on this one. They end up together.
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bPart 1
Sometime next fall.../b
iWhat a week!/i Mac thought as she stepped into the familiarity of McMurphy's. iNot to mention the last three weeks, going back and forth to Norfolk to talk to my guilty as hell client!/i she reminded herself ruefully. iIt's time to kick back and relax.../i
Grabbing a seat at the bar, she ordered her usual tonic with a squeeze of lime. While waiting, she looked in the mirror idly and grimaced at her weary face. As the barkeep set her drink in front of her, something else caught her eye however... iThat gesture is so familiar, it reminds me of Harm,/i she thought wistfully. iBut this guy has a girl with him, Harm's not seeing anyone.../i
Unable to resist her curiousity however, she leaned over the bar to check, catching the eye of one Harmon Rabb, Jr. Whipping her head around so he couldn't see her tears, Mac quickly finished her drink and walked out.
Harm watched the retreating form of his best friend with a sense of trepidation. iWell now you've done it, Rabb,/i he cursed himself. iYou got caught with your new girlfriend before you had a chance to tell her. How are you going to get yourself out of this one?/i He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice his date's attempts to get his attention until the third time she called his name. "Hm? Oh, I'm sorry Jess. My mind must have wandered. What were you saying?" he asked politely.
"Nothing important... Harm, is something wrong? You seem really preoccupied," the brunette questioned with concern.
"No, of course not," Harm quickly denied. At her look of disbelief he backtracked and said, "I guess I am a little tired... look, do you mind if we call it a night?"
"No problem," she replied easily. "I'll see you tomorrow night for supper?"
"Of course," he said as he bent to kiss her cheek. "Drive safely, ok?"
Two minutes later, Harm was in his Vette, speeding toward Georgetown. iI've got to explain, she's got to understand,/i he told himself desperately. iShe can't stay mad at me!/i When he arrived at his destination, he ran up the stairs, not bothering with the elevator, and pounded on her door. No answer. Trying again, he again got no answer. "Mac, c'mon open up! I know you're in there... we need to talk Sarah."
It was his use of her first name that convinced the angry marine on the other side to give him admittance to her apartment. She opened the door and glared at him. "I don't know what you think we need to talk about," she said coldly.
Harm's heart sank at those words, but he tried not to let it show on his face. "I want to explain. I know you're mad at me, but..."
"I'm not mad Harm," she cut him off. "I thought we were getting back to the way we used to be... it just hurt to find I was wrong."
"What... what do you mean?" he asked slowly, the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach growing larger.
"I mean that the old Harm wouldn't have left me to find out about his new relationship through office gossip. I guess I should be grateful I saw you before someone told me, that would have been humiliating. So tell me Harm, when were you planning to tell me?" she asked.
"Mac, it's not like that! I was going to tell you, I just didn't want to give you anything more to think about when you were defending that SOB. I knew that if I told you before you got a chance to meet Jess that your reaction would be negative and..."
"What's that supposed to mean Harm?"
iCrap! Betrayed by my runaway tongue again.../i Taking a deep breath, Harm chose to answer honestly. "It means that you've never given any of my girlfriends a chance. Annie, Jordan, Renee... you disliked them all before you even got to know them."
"Oh, you mean the way you `got to know' Mic before you decided you hated his guts?" Mac hated herself for bringing this up, especially when her reaction had initially been the same, but she had to defend herself. He was getting too close to the truth.
"Ok, I deserved that. For the record, I'm sorry for my behavior when it came to Mic. I know that contributed to a lot of the distance that grew between us. Now before you say anything else or I say anything that can hurt you, may I please explain it all in one speech, no interruptions?" She just looked at him warily. "Please Sarah, this is important to me," he pleaded quietly.
Taking her slight nod as a gesture of acquiescence, he plunged in. "Jess and I met about a month ago. She was civilian counsel in a case I was prosecuting. When the verdict came back guilty a week later, she was suddenly without dinner plans--seems the guy had been so sure he'd win that he'd promised to take her out as a thank you. So I suggested we go grab a bite to eat. I was not thinking of romance at all at this point, just looking to not be alone for another meal. You were in Norfolk or I would have invited you to come too...
"Anyway, dinner was great. Jess is an amazing woman, strong and independent. Do you know she payed her way through law school by licking envelopes? She had a regular job for her living expenses, and then she got one of those "work from the comfort of your own home" things to pay for school. To make a long story short, we hit it off. The next day, I called her and we set a date for that weekend... we've been seeing each other ever since," he finished softly.
"So you've been together for about three weeks now? Why didn't you tell me before Harm? Were you really that afraid of my reaction?"
"Yeah, I was Mac. You're my best friend and your opinion is important to me. I want you to like Jess, I think you will if you give her a chance. In fact, why don't you come over to my place Sunday for supper and I'll introduce you?"
"I don't know Harm..."
"Please Mac, just give her a chance..."
"Why is this so important to you?" she asked before she could stop herself.
"Because I think she might be the one, and I want my best friend to like her." Too stunned to speak, Mac simply nodded her agreement. "Good. We'll see you at 19:00 Sunday then," he said and quickly left.
bPart 2/b
Mac closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it, mind whirling. iThe One!? Did he actually just say that? Harmon Rabb, Jr, the anti-commitment guru claims to have found the one?/i Slowly she turned away from the door, going to sit on the couch. iI should be happy for him right? My best friend just told me he's finally ready to settle down, and he seemed happy... why can't I be happy for him?/i she wondered as she began to cry.
iBecause I'm in love with him... because I wanted to be the one!/i her breaking heart cried. iDamn you Harmon Rabb! For six years I wait for you to let go and then when you finally do, it's with a different woman. What is it she has that I don't? Why didn't you want me?/i After she had cried all the tears she had in her, she fell into an exhausted sleep.
bSunday, 18:00/b
As Mac prepared to go to Harm's, her mind continued the debate it had been carrying on for the last 40 hours. iDo I really want to do this? Can I do this? But it seemed so important to Harm... all the more reason to stay home! I don't know if I can handle seeing him with her yet.../i
Finally she knew it was time to give herself a stern talking to. "Suck it up Marine! You can do this, you don't have any choice. Harm is not yours, you're going to have to learn to live with that. Right now, you just need to get through this night without breaking down. The rest can come later. Now you have exactly 29 minutes until you have to be at Harm's apartment, so prepare yourself!" With that, she grabbed her keys and jacket and walked out the door.
Harm meanwhile was finishing up dinner preparations. "Bread in the oven, salad on the table, casserole sitting on the stove..." he muttered to himself. "Now why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?" he asked as he moved around the table. "Jess and Mac will be here in a few minutes, what is it? Jess and Mac..." He looked down at the table--it was set for two! Not taking the time to wonder what that meant, he simply pulled another place setting out the cupboard and placed it on the table.
And just in time, because someone lightly knocked on his door just as he set the plate down. Glancing down at his watch, he smiled slightly and went to let his best friend in. "Right on time as usual Mac..." his voice trailed off when he saw Jess standing there instead.
"Any particular reason you thought I was Mac Harm?" she teased.
"Uh... she's got this timing thing, always on time without wearing a watch. In fact..." He turned as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Here she is now." He and Jess stepped in the apartment, holding the door open to let Mac follow them in. "Mac, this is Jess MacGuire. Jess, Sarah Mackensie." he introduced briefly before beating a hasty retreat to the kitchen.
iJust like a man,/i Mac thought mutinously. iGet you into a situation, and then leave to let you figure out how to get out of it./i Pulling herself together, she turned to Jess and smiled. "It's nice to meet you. Harm has told me... well not much really, but that's because I only heard about you on Friday."
"He didn't tell you until..." Jess was speechless for a second, then she turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "HARM! You didn't tell your best friend about us for almost four weeks?!"
In the kitchen, Harm winced under the attack. "Um, not exactly... I mean... well no I guess not... it just didn't come up!" he hedged.
"Didn't come up..."
"Don't worry about it Jess," Mac quickly cut in. "I got on him for it last night." She raised her voice slightly and said, "He won't make that mistake again!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Harm replied quickly, glad he'd been let off the hook.
bPart 3, picking up after Mac leaves
Harm's POV/b
"Harm, I need to ask you something."
If her tone of voice hadn't told me this was serious, the look in her charcoal gray eyes would have. For that reason, I abandoned my joking response and simply said, "Ok?"
"Why didn't you tell Mac about us?"
This lady doesn't pull any punches! Time to be honest Rabb... "I was afraid of her reaction. In the six years we've been friends, I don't think either of us has dated someone the other approved of. I wanted this time to be different."
By the considering look on her face, I can tell she's going to ignore my last comment and zero in on the one before it. I brace myself... sure enough, it's not long in coming. "Harm, are you and Mac more than friends?"
I vowed at the beginning that the nebulous, tenuous, and confusing relationship between Mac and I would not sound the death knell for another relationship. Now it's time to keep my promise. Taking a deep breath, I plunge in. "Yes we are." Ignoring her hurt look, I continue. "We are best friends and partners. After six years of being there for each other, I suppose our relationship is almost familial." I pause for a moment as I remember another conversation...i "Mac, I don't think of you as my sister..."/i
Pulling myself back to the conversation at hand, I keep explaining. "We've always been protective of each other. Mic and Dalton weren't good for Mac, and I suppose she'd say the same about Renee, Jordan, and Annie. But she liked you Jess, I could see it in the way she opened up to you."
Jess laughed in disbelief. "You call that open?" she questioned.
"For Sarah Mackenzie, that was practically open book. If she wants to, she can make a clam look chatty," I claim. I can tell my quick defense of Mac brought her doubts back in full force, so I jump into my confession with both feet.
"To be completely honest Jess, yes there have been feelings between Mac and me. At different points over the last six years it's seemed like we might get together, but something always happened to prevent it." Her trial, my return to flying, Brumby and his blasted ring, Renee and then her dad, the Guadacanal... my mind wanders over the list quickly and then continues on. "After so many failed attempts, you begin to wonder if fate is telling you something. That being the case, we've both decided to move on."
There! Confession complete, now I'm holding my breath waiting for her response. "Are you sure Harm? I'm not second best, you wouldn't rather be with her?"
The hesitancy in her voice kills me, and I jump in to reassure her. "I want to be with you Jess... I choose to be with you."
For the first time all evening, a real Jess MacGuire smile lights up the room. "Ok then! So what are we doing this week Harm?" she asks as though the subject of Sarah Mackenzie was never discussed. I heave a sight of relief and begin to plan the week.
Author's note: This story really is about Harm and Mac. I know it doesn't seem like that at first glance, and it won't until about halfway through, but trust me on this one. They end up together.
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bPart 1
Sometime next fall.../b
iWhat a week!/i Mac thought as she stepped into the familiarity of McMurphy's. iNot to mention the last three weeks, going back and forth to Norfolk to talk to my guilty as hell client!/i she reminded herself ruefully. iIt's time to kick back and relax.../i
Grabbing a seat at the bar, she ordered her usual tonic with a squeeze of lime. While waiting, she looked in the mirror idly and grimaced at her weary face. As the barkeep set her drink in front of her, something else caught her eye however... iThat gesture is so familiar, it reminds me of Harm,/i she thought wistfully. iBut this guy has a girl with him, Harm's not seeing anyone.../i
Unable to resist her curiousity however, she leaned over the bar to check, catching the eye of one Harmon Rabb, Jr. Whipping her head around so he couldn't see her tears, Mac quickly finished her drink and walked out.
Harm watched the retreating form of his best friend with a sense of trepidation. iWell now you've done it, Rabb,/i he cursed himself. iYou got caught with your new girlfriend before you had a chance to tell her. How are you going to get yourself out of this one?/i He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice his date's attempts to get his attention until the third time she called his name. "Hm? Oh, I'm sorry Jess. My mind must have wandered. What were you saying?" he asked politely.
"Nothing important... Harm, is something wrong? You seem really preoccupied," the brunette questioned with concern.
"No, of course not," Harm quickly denied. At her look of disbelief he backtracked and said, "I guess I am a little tired... look, do you mind if we call it a night?"
"No problem," she replied easily. "I'll see you tomorrow night for supper?"
"Of course," he said as he bent to kiss her cheek. "Drive safely, ok?"
Two minutes later, Harm was in his Vette, speeding toward Georgetown. iI've got to explain, she's got to understand,/i he told himself desperately. iShe can't stay mad at me!/i When he arrived at his destination, he ran up the stairs, not bothering with the elevator, and pounded on her door. No answer. Trying again, he again got no answer. "Mac, c'mon open up! I know you're in there... we need to talk Sarah."
It was his use of her first name that convinced the angry marine on the other side to give him admittance to her apartment. She opened the door and glared at him. "I don't know what you think we need to talk about," she said coldly.
Harm's heart sank at those words, but he tried not to let it show on his face. "I want to explain. I know you're mad at me, but..."
"I'm not mad Harm," she cut him off. "I thought we were getting back to the way we used to be... it just hurt to find I was wrong."
"What... what do you mean?" he asked slowly, the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach growing larger.
"I mean that the old Harm wouldn't have left me to find out about his new relationship through office gossip. I guess I should be grateful I saw you before someone told me, that would have been humiliating. So tell me Harm, when were you planning to tell me?" she asked.
"Mac, it's not like that! I was going to tell you, I just didn't want to give you anything more to think about when you were defending that SOB. I knew that if I told you before you got a chance to meet Jess that your reaction would be negative and..."
"What's that supposed to mean Harm?"
iCrap! Betrayed by my runaway tongue again.../i Taking a deep breath, Harm chose to answer honestly. "It means that you've never given any of my girlfriends a chance. Annie, Jordan, Renee... you disliked them all before you even got to know them."
"Oh, you mean the way you `got to know' Mic before you decided you hated his guts?" Mac hated herself for bringing this up, especially when her reaction had initially been the same, but she had to defend herself. He was getting too close to the truth.
"Ok, I deserved that. For the record, I'm sorry for my behavior when it came to Mic. I know that contributed to a lot of the distance that grew between us. Now before you say anything else or I say anything that can hurt you, may I please explain it all in one speech, no interruptions?" She just looked at him warily. "Please Sarah, this is important to me," he pleaded quietly.
Taking her slight nod as a gesture of acquiescence, he plunged in. "Jess and I met about a month ago. She was civilian counsel in a case I was prosecuting. When the verdict came back guilty a week later, she was suddenly without dinner plans--seems the guy had been so sure he'd win that he'd promised to take her out as a thank you. So I suggested we go grab a bite to eat. I was not thinking of romance at all at this point, just looking to not be alone for another meal. You were in Norfolk or I would have invited you to come too...
"Anyway, dinner was great. Jess is an amazing woman, strong and independent. Do you know she payed her way through law school by licking envelopes? She had a regular job for her living expenses, and then she got one of those "work from the comfort of your own home" things to pay for school. To make a long story short, we hit it off. The next day, I called her and we set a date for that weekend... we've been seeing each other ever since," he finished softly.
"So you've been together for about three weeks now? Why didn't you tell me before Harm? Were you really that afraid of my reaction?"
"Yeah, I was Mac. You're my best friend and your opinion is important to me. I want you to like Jess, I think you will if you give her a chance. In fact, why don't you come over to my place Sunday for supper and I'll introduce you?"
"I don't know Harm..."
"Please Mac, just give her a chance..."
"Why is this so important to you?" she asked before she could stop herself.
"Because I think she might be the one, and I want my best friend to like her." Too stunned to speak, Mac simply nodded her agreement. "Good. We'll see you at 19:00 Sunday then," he said and quickly left.
bPart 2/b
Mac closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it, mind whirling. iThe One!? Did he actually just say that? Harmon Rabb, Jr, the anti-commitment guru claims to have found the one?/i Slowly she turned away from the door, going to sit on the couch. iI should be happy for him right? My best friend just told me he's finally ready to settle down, and he seemed happy... why can't I be happy for him?/i she wondered as she began to cry.
iBecause I'm in love with him... because I wanted to be the one!/i her breaking heart cried. iDamn you Harmon Rabb! For six years I wait for you to let go and then when you finally do, it's with a different woman. What is it she has that I don't? Why didn't you want me?/i After she had cried all the tears she had in her, she fell into an exhausted sleep.
bSunday, 18:00/b
As Mac prepared to go to Harm's, her mind continued the debate it had been carrying on for the last 40 hours. iDo I really want to do this? Can I do this? But it seemed so important to Harm... all the more reason to stay home! I don't know if I can handle seeing him with her yet.../i
Finally she knew it was time to give herself a stern talking to. "Suck it up Marine! You can do this, you don't have any choice. Harm is not yours, you're going to have to learn to live with that. Right now, you just need to get through this night without breaking down. The rest can come later. Now you have exactly 29 minutes until you have to be at Harm's apartment, so prepare yourself!" With that, she grabbed her keys and jacket and walked out the door.
Harm meanwhile was finishing up dinner preparations. "Bread in the oven, salad on the table, casserole sitting on the stove..." he muttered to himself. "Now why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?" he asked as he moved around the table. "Jess and Mac will be here in a few minutes, what is it? Jess and Mac..." He looked down at the table--it was set for two! Not taking the time to wonder what that meant, he simply pulled another place setting out the cupboard and placed it on the table.
And just in time, because someone lightly knocked on his door just as he set the plate down. Glancing down at his watch, he smiled slightly and went to let his best friend in. "Right on time as usual Mac..." his voice trailed off when he saw Jess standing there instead.
"Any particular reason you thought I was Mac Harm?" she teased.
"Uh... she's got this timing thing, always on time without wearing a watch. In fact..." He turned as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Here she is now." He and Jess stepped in the apartment, holding the door open to let Mac follow them in. "Mac, this is Jess MacGuire. Jess, Sarah Mackensie." he introduced briefly before beating a hasty retreat to the kitchen.
iJust like a man,/i Mac thought mutinously. iGet you into a situation, and then leave to let you figure out how to get out of it./i Pulling herself together, she turned to Jess and smiled. "It's nice to meet you. Harm has told me... well not much really, but that's because I only heard about you on Friday."
"He didn't tell you until..." Jess was speechless for a second, then she turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "HARM! You didn't tell your best friend about us for almost four weeks?!"
In the kitchen, Harm winced under the attack. "Um, not exactly... I mean... well no I guess not... it just didn't come up!" he hedged.
"Didn't come up..."
"Don't worry about it Jess," Mac quickly cut in. "I got on him for it last night." She raised her voice slightly and said, "He won't make that mistake again!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Harm replied quickly, glad he'd been let off the hook.
bPart 3, picking up after Mac leaves
Harm's POV/b
"Harm, I need to ask you something."
If her tone of voice hadn't told me this was serious, the look in her charcoal gray eyes would have. For that reason, I abandoned my joking response and simply said, "Ok?"
"Why didn't you tell Mac about us?"
This lady doesn't pull any punches! Time to be honest Rabb... "I was afraid of her reaction. In the six years we've been friends, I don't think either of us has dated someone the other approved of. I wanted this time to be different."
By the considering look on her face, I can tell she's going to ignore my last comment and zero in on the one before it. I brace myself... sure enough, it's not long in coming. "Harm, are you and Mac more than friends?"
I vowed at the beginning that the nebulous, tenuous, and confusing relationship between Mac and I would not sound the death knell for another relationship. Now it's time to keep my promise. Taking a deep breath, I plunge in. "Yes we are." Ignoring her hurt look, I continue. "We are best friends and partners. After six years of being there for each other, I suppose our relationship is almost familial." I pause for a moment as I remember another conversation...i "Mac, I don't think of you as my sister..."/i
Pulling myself back to the conversation at hand, I keep explaining. "We've always been protective of each other. Mic and Dalton weren't good for Mac, and I suppose she'd say the same about Renee, Jordan, and Annie. But she liked you Jess, I could see it in the way she opened up to you."
Jess laughed in disbelief. "You call that open?" she questioned.
"For Sarah Mackenzie, that was practically open book. If she wants to, she can make a clam look chatty," I claim. I can tell my quick defense of Mac brought her doubts back in full force, so I jump into my confession with both feet.
"To be completely honest Jess, yes there have been feelings between Mac and me. At different points over the last six years it's seemed like we might get together, but something always happened to prevent it." Her trial, my return to flying, Brumby and his blasted ring, Renee and then her dad, the Guadacanal... my mind wanders over the list quickly and then continues on. "After so many failed attempts, you begin to wonder if fate is telling you something. That being the case, we've both decided to move on."
There! Confession complete, now I'm holding my breath waiting for her response. "Are you sure Harm? I'm not second best, you wouldn't rather be with her?"
The hesitancy in her voice kills me, and I jump in to reassure her. "I want to be with you Jess... I choose to be with you."
For the first time all evening, a real Jess MacGuire smile lights up the room. "Ok then! So what are we doing this week Harm?" she asks as though the subject of Sarah Mackenzie was never discussed. I heave a sight of relief and begin to plan the week.