bPart 6
08:02, Saturday, February 15/b
Mac groaned in her sleep as an annoying buzzing noise started to wake her up. "Go `way," she mumbled. "Don't want any..." But the ringing continued and finally she woke up enough to pick up the phone and mutter, "H'lo?"
"Mac, you'll never guess what happened!" an excited voice exclaimed.
"Harm? Why are you calling at 08:04 on a Saturday morning?" she asked, more awake now.
"Oh, did I wake you up? I'm sorry Mac, I'm just so excited and I couldn't wait to tell you. It's so wonderful!"
"Slow down Flyboy, what's so wonderful? Tell me your news."
"She said yes Mac! I asked and she said yes!"
"Was there ever any doubt?" Mac teased.
"Well you never know for sure... and I did mess up the rest of the evening because I was so nervous. I'm getting married Mac," he said as though he was having difficulty believing it himself.
"I'm happy for you Harm... Jess is good for you," Mac responded quietly.
"Hey, I'll let you go back to sleep now. I just had to tell you."
"Ok Harm... congratulations."
"Thanks Mac," he said and hung up.
As Mac placed the receiver back on the cradle, sleep was the farthest thing from her mind. iWell that's that... they're engaged. Of course they are Mac, you knew this was going to happen, he told you he'd bought the ring. But I just didn't believe it! Why does this always happen to me, I open up to someone but they don't want me. What's wrong with me that no one wants me?/i
Slowly she got out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. As the hot water beat down on her, her own tears join the flood as she let the pain of rejection wash over her heart. iNo more... I'll be happy with just my friends. I just can't take this again,/i she wept.
Stepping out of the shower, she dried off and dressed in a pair of worn sweats. Then she went into the kitchen and cut a large piece of frozen chocolate pie for breakfast. iYep, from now on it's just me and my chocolate,/i she told herself as she curled up on the couch.
Suddenly a new thought occurred to her. "How am I going to face him?" she wondered aloud. "Or her? Or both of them together... especially that! I can't ignore him, he's my best friend and she apparently is his other half. Thank God today is Saturday so I have the weekend to get used to this before work on Monday... Maybe I could ask the Admiral for an assignment that would send me away. No, I did that once and that's part of the reason I'm in this mess, even though it was for a good reason. Even things done for a good reason can backfire sometimes..." Her mind wandered back to those three months on the Guadacanal and the confrontation she'd had with Harm. iWe just couldn't get it together after I got back,/i she realized. iMaybe this is for the best then?/i
bPart 7
Monday morning, 07:55/b
"Good morning Mac," Harm said with a smile as he stepped into the bullpen.
"Morning Harm," she replied quietly and walked into her office, closing the door behind her.
Harm stared at the door, confused. iWhat's bothering you about it Harm? It's not as if she's never closed her office door before?/i his logical mind argued. iYeah, but she basically just shut the door in my face,/i his intuition fought back. iSomething's wrong./i He hesitated for a moment, thinking about knocking. Then Bud walked by and reminded him it was time for staff call, and with one last glance at the closed door, he walked away.
Meanwhile, Mac sat her office, tensed for the confrontation she was sure was coming. iHe knows I'd never shut my door on him unless I was upset... what will I tell him when he knocks? I ought to just tell him to go away and leave me alone, what does he need me for now that he has Jess?/i But the knock never came and Mac's internal clock suddenly reminded her that she was five minutes late for staff call.
"I'm sorry Admiral, I lost track of time," she apologized as she breezed into the conference room.
AJ looked at her over his glasses. "You lost track of time Colonel?" he questioned.
"Yes sir, it happens to the best of us," she replied with a glint of humor.
"Ok, let's get this show on the road," he said turning back to the business of running the morning meeting.
Harm on the other hand was not buying it for a moment. iIf she lost track of time she must really be upset... What's happened since Saturday morning that could be so bad?/i he wondered. He tried to catch her eye, but she studiously avoided even looking at him.
As they stood to leave, he made one last attempt. "Hey Mac, could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
She looked at him blankly and said, "I don't know why Commander, we don't have any cases together," and walked out.
Shocked, Harm followed her out of the room and went into his office. iI don't understand, she hasn't been that cold to me in over a year. Did I do something wrong?/i
He spent most of the morning wracking his brain, trying to figure out how he'd hurt her so badly that she was shutting him out. As he was working his way through the third pile of paperwork, it hit him. iThat's it... she's shutting me out. It isn't that she's mad at me, there's something that she's dealing with that she doesn't want to talk about./i
After realizing that he hadn't done anything wrong, he felt a modicum of relief, but it was quickly washed away by concern for Mac. iSo what's wrong? And why won't she talk to me about it? What can I do to help her, I don't want to just sit here and watch her hurt./i However, seven years of experience had taught him that pressuring Mac when she was withdrawing almost always meant something bad for him. Finally, he decided to send her an email just letting her know he was thinking about her.
In her office, Mac heard the familiar chime that meant she had a new message in her inbox. When she opened her email and saw it was from Harm she almost deleted it without looking at it, but something changed her mind and she clicked it open.
Mac--
I know you're upset about something, and I understand that you don't want to talk about it. I've learned my lesson: I won't force you to talk. I just want you to know that I'm your friend and I support you in whatever you feel like you have to do. I wish I could do something to make you feel better, but since I can't I'll just let you know that I'm here for you.
Harm
After pausing to collect her thoughts for a moment, she quickly typed out a reply and clicked send. Harm was anxiously awaiting her reaction, and opened it as soon as he got it.
Thanks Harm... It means a lot to me that you understand I need to do this alone. I don't want to shut you out completely though, want to have lunch?
Mac
He sighed with relief and then glanced down at his watch. Getting up, he walked over to stand in Mac's doorway. "Hey Marine, you ready to go?" he asked.
"Sure Harm," she replied with a small smile. iYou can do this, he's your friend! You can't lose that,/i she told herself sternly. "So have you and Jess set a date yet?" she asked pleasantly.
"Yeah, I think we're going with July 12 so mark it down ok?" he said with a smile.
"Circled in red," she answered lightly.
Gradually they fell into a pattern. She worked hard at not shutting him out and he let her set the comfort zone for their friendship. Much to his chagrin, she scaled it back a few notches from where it had been, but at least she wasn't shutting him out entirely.
08:02, Saturday, February 15/b
Mac groaned in her sleep as an annoying buzzing noise started to wake her up. "Go `way," she mumbled. "Don't want any..." But the ringing continued and finally she woke up enough to pick up the phone and mutter, "H'lo?"
"Mac, you'll never guess what happened!" an excited voice exclaimed.
"Harm? Why are you calling at 08:04 on a Saturday morning?" she asked, more awake now.
"Oh, did I wake you up? I'm sorry Mac, I'm just so excited and I couldn't wait to tell you. It's so wonderful!"
"Slow down Flyboy, what's so wonderful? Tell me your news."
"She said yes Mac! I asked and she said yes!"
"Was there ever any doubt?" Mac teased.
"Well you never know for sure... and I did mess up the rest of the evening because I was so nervous. I'm getting married Mac," he said as though he was having difficulty believing it himself.
"I'm happy for you Harm... Jess is good for you," Mac responded quietly.
"Hey, I'll let you go back to sleep now. I just had to tell you."
"Ok Harm... congratulations."
"Thanks Mac," he said and hung up.
As Mac placed the receiver back on the cradle, sleep was the farthest thing from her mind. iWell that's that... they're engaged. Of course they are Mac, you knew this was going to happen, he told you he'd bought the ring. But I just didn't believe it! Why does this always happen to me, I open up to someone but they don't want me. What's wrong with me that no one wants me?/i
Slowly she got out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. As the hot water beat down on her, her own tears join the flood as she let the pain of rejection wash over her heart. iNo more... I'll be happy with just my friends. I just can't take this again,/i she wept.
Stepping out of the shower, she dried off and dressed in a pair of worn sweats. Then she went into the kitchen and cut a large piece of frozen chocolate pie for breakfast. iYep, from now on it's just me and my chocolate,/i she told herself as she curled up on the couch.
Suddenly a new thought occurred to her. "How am I going to face him?" she wondered aloud. "Or her? Or both of them together... especially that! I can't ignore him, he's my best friend and she apparently is his other half. Thank God today is Saturday so I have the weekend to get used to this before work on Monday... Maybe I could ask the Admiral for an assignment that would send me away. No, I did that once and that's part of the reason I'm in this mess, even though it was for a good reason. Even things done for a good reason can backfire sometimes..." Her mind wandered back to those three months on the Guadacanal and the confrontation she'd had with Harm. iWe just couldn't get it together after I got back,/i she realized. iMaybe this is for the best then?/i
bPart 7
Monday morning, 07:55/b
"Good morning Mac," Harm said with a smile as he stepped into the bullpen.
"Morning Harm," she replied quietly and walked into her office, closing the door behind her.
Harm stared at the door, confused. iWhat's bothering you about it Harm? It's not as if she's never closed her office door before?/i his logical mind argued. iYeah, but she basically just shut the door in my face,/i his intuition fought back. iSomething's wrong./i He hesitated for a moment, thinking about knocking. Then Bud walked by and reminded him it was time for staff call, and with one last glance at the closed door, he walked away.
Meanwhile, Mac sat her office, tensed for the confrontation she was sure was coming. iHe knows I'd never shut my door on him unless I was upset... what will I tell him when he knocks? I ought to just tell him to go away and leave me alone, what does he need me for now that he has Jess?/i But the knock never came and Mac's internal clock suddenly reminded her that she was five minutes late for staff call.
"I'm sorry Admiral, I lost track of time," she apologized as she breezed into the conference room.
AJ looked at her over his glasses. "You lost track of time Colonel?" he questioned.
"Yes sir, it happens to the best of us," she replied with a glint of humor.
"Ok, let's get this show on the road," he said turning back to the business of running the morning meeting.
Harm on the other hand was not buying it for a moment. iIf she lost track of time she must really be upset... What's happened since Saturday morning that could be so bad?/i he wondered. He tried to catch her eye, but she studiously avoided even looking at him.
As they stood to leave, he made one last attempt. "Hey Mac, could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
She looked at him blankly and said, "I don't know why Commander, we don't have any cases together," and walked out.
Shocked, Harm followed her out of the room and went into his office. iI don't understand, she hasn't been that cold to me in over a year. Did I do something wrong?/i
He spent most of the morning wracking his brain, trying to figure out how he'd hurt her so badly that she was shutting him out. As he was working his way through the third pile of paperwork, it hit him. iThat's it... she's shutting me out. It isn't that she's mad at me, there's something that she's dealing with that she doesn't want to talk about./i
After realizing that he hadn't done anything wrong, he felt a modicum of relief, but it was quickly washed away by concern for Mac. iSo what's wrong? And why won't she talk to me about it? What can I do to help her, I don't want to just sit here and watch her hurt./i However, seven years of experience had taught him that pressuring Mac when she was withdrawing almost always meant something bad for him. Finally, he decided to send her an email just letting her know he was thinking about her.
In her office, Mac heard the familiar chime that meant she had a new message in her inbox. When she opened her email and saw it was from Harm she almost deleted it without looking at it, but something changed her mind and she clicked it open.
Mac--
I know you're upset about something, and I understand that you don't want to talk about it. I've learned my lesson: I won't force you to talk. I just want you to know that I'm your friend and I support you in whatever you feel like you have to do. I wish I could do something to make you feel better, but since I can't I'll just let you know that I'm here for you.
Harm
After pausing to collect her thoughts for a moment, she quickly typed out a reply and clicked send. Harm was anxiously awaiting her reaction, and opened it as soon as he got it.
Thanks Harm... It means a lot to me that you understand I need to do this alone. I don't want to shut you out completely though, want to have lunch?
Mac
He sighed with relief and then glanced down at his watch. Getting up, he walked over to stand in Mac's doorway. "Hey Marine, you ready to go?" he asked.
"Sure Harm," she replied with a small smile. iYou can do this, he's your friend! You can't lose that,/i she told herself sternly. "So have you and Jess set a date yet?" she asked pleasantly.
"Yeah, I think we're going with July 12 so mark it down ok?" he said with a smile.
"Circled in red," she answered lightly.
Gradually they fell into a pattern. She worked hard at not shutting him out and he let her set the comfort zone for their friendship. Much to his chagrin, she scaled it back a few notches from where it had been, but at least she wasn't shutting him out entirely.