AN: I forgot to mention that Bethy's birthday was 6/11/04. It is now 6/21/08.
Disclaimer: I don't own my own car, much less a tv show.
bPart 14
4 Years Later/b
Harm was busy working on a case when his phone rang. Picking it up, he absently answered, "Hello?"
"Is this Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.
Fully alert now, Harm replied, "Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?"
"This is Cindy Green from County General. Could you please come over here sir?"
A feeling of dread began to grow in the pit of Harm's stomach. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked, trying to remain calm.
"It seems your wife was involved in a car accident sir… sir? Hello? Are you still there?" But Harm had dropped the phone and was already out the door.
As he raced over to the hospital, he began to pray. iPlease let her be alright God, I need her! I can't raise our daughter alone!/i Suddenly he realized something. iBethy! She was going to pick up Bethy a while ago… surely if she'd been in the car, they would have mentioned it…/i he tried to reassure himself. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed the daycare provider.
"Hello? Mrs. Carmichael? This is Commander Rabb… Jess never picked Bethy up? Thank God! Ma'am, I'm sorry to be an inconvience, but my wife was in a car accident this afternoon. Could you keep Bethy for a while longer? Thank you ma'am, I appreciate it. My mother will be by to pick her up."
While stopped at a light, he hung up and called his mother at her gallery. "Mom, this is Harm. I've got some bad news… no nothing like that, Jess was in a car accident. I don't know how bad, I'm not to the hospital yet. But she was on her way to pick Bethy up, could you go get her and keep her for a while? Thanks Mom, I'll call you when I have more news."
By this time he'd reached the hospital and was striding into the emergency room. "I'm Commander Rabb," he identified himself at the nurse's station. "My wife was brought in a few hours ago from a car accident?"
"Hello Commander, I'm Cindy. You gave me quite a fright when you left without saying anything," the young nurse admonished as she began to lead Harm down the hallway.
"I'm sorry ma'am… I wasn't thinking."
"Of course you weren't. Here she is," she said gesturing through an open door.
Looking in, Harm gasped at the sight of his wife. She beaten and bloodied, covered with wires and machines. "How… how serious is she?" he asked quietly as he sat by her still form.
"I don't know exactly, I'll send the doctor in to talk to you now that you're here," Cindy replied as she left.
Harm gently picked up Jess' hand and held it. "Wake up sweetheart, please… I need you to talk to me," he pleaded softly.
"Commander Rabb?" a voice asked from the hallway.
Harm turned around and saw a doctor in his late 30's standing behind him. "Yes?" he asked nervously.
"Why don't you come with me for a moment so I can tell you what's going on," the other man suggested gently.
Harm reluctantly let go of his wife's hand and followed the doctor. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," he ventured as they entered a small room.
"Doctor Adam James," he replied. "Now what do you know so far?"
"All I know is that my wife was supposed to be picking up our daughter from daycare this afternoon and apparently was involved in a car accident before she got there. Please, how is she?"
"The accident your wife was in was a three car pileup on the freeway, Commander. The other two drivers were both DOA and one passenger is currently in critical condition, as is your wife."
"But she'll be fine right?"
"I'm afraid I can't promise you that sir… I'm very sorry, but she might not even wake up," Dr. James stated.
Numb, Harm stood and shook his hand. "I see, thank you doctor. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my wife."
"Of course sir."
Finding the chair next to Jess' bed, Harm sank down into it. iHe has to be wrong,/i he insisted to himself. iShe's so young, it's too early… and Bethy, what will I tell Bethy?/i Suddenly realizing he hadn't gotten back to his mom about Jess' condition, Harm pulled out his phone and dialed her number. "Mom? No Mom, it's not good… the doctor… he isn't even sure she'll wake up. Could you bring Bethy over here? If he's right, she should be able to say goodbye." As he talked to his mother, he became aware of some movement out of the corner of his eye. Looking up, he saw his wife's eye's begin to flutter open. "Mom? Jess is starting to wake up, I'll talk to you when you get here ok?" he said and hung up.
"Jess?" he said quietly and picked up her hand. "Come on Jess, I'm right here… open your eyes for me honey," he begged.
Finally his attempts were rewarded as she slowly opened her grey eyes and looked right at him. "Harm? What happened… wait, there was a car in front of me… it flipped." She tried to remember all the details but was quieted by her husband.
"Don't worry about it Jess… I'm going to go get the doctor, ok?" he said as he slipped from the room running smack into Dr. James. "Doctor! I'm so glad to see you… Jess just woke up!" he said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.
"Why don't you have a seat in the waiting room Harm while I check on her?" he suggested.
That was where Trish, Frank, and Bethy found him when they arrived 20 minutes later. "Harm? What's going on? Is she going to be ok?" Trish asked worriedly.
"I don't know for sure Mom, but she woke up so that's got to mean something. Wait, here's the doctor. Dr. James, this is my mother and step-father and my daughter Bethy. Could you tell us how she's doing?" he asked almost desperately.
He hesitated for a moment, glancing at the little girl. Frank understood and took her by the hand. "Bethy, why don't you and I go get something from the cafeteria," he suggested as they walked away.
"What's wrong doctor?" Trish asked quietly.
"Mrs. Rabb suffered severe internal injuries, some of which are still bleeding, as well as a massive head injury. It's a miracle she woke up at all, and I don't expect her to last the night. I would suggest that the whole family take this reprieve to say good bye."
Harm reeled back in shock, and once again Trish came to the rescue. "Are you sure doctor?"
"As sure as I can be. There's always a chance for a miraculous recovery, but I wouldn't be counting on it right now," he replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some other patients I need to check in on."
When he walked away, Trish turned to look at her son. He looked shell shocked. "Harm," she said gently, "Why don't you go in first? I'll go get Frank and Bethy, and we'll come in about 30 minutes." She pushed him in the direction of Jess' room and walked toward the cafeteria.
Harm slowly walked into Jess' room and sat down by her side. Picking up her hand, he stroked her forehead until she woke from the light sleep she'd fallen into. "Hey there," he said softly, smiling at her. "How do you feel?"
"Like I was hit by a truck," she replied with a touch of humor. "Where's Bethy?"
"She's in the cafeteria with Mom and Frank. They'll be here in about 30 minutes."
"Good, I need to talk to you alone first. Harm, there are some things I want to tell you before…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.
"Hey, don't talk like that. You're going to be fine," Harm insisted.
"Honey, you know that isn't what the doctor said, and I can't go without saying these things. Please just listen," she begged.
"What kind of things?" he asked, genuinely confused.
"Well first off I love you."
"I already knew that," he said with a grin.
"I know, but I want to make sure you understand how happy you've made me. You and Bethy are the best thing that's ever happened to me." She stopped for a moment, wracked with coughs.
"Hey, maybe you shouldn't be talking so much," Harm said suddenly concerned.
"I have to Harm… it's important." Taking a deep breath to gather her strength, she pushed on. "You always made me feel special. It was wonderful knowing that your strength was there for me, and I tried to give you my support in return. These last five years that I've tasted the gift of your love have been the happiest of my life.
"Bethy is the most wonderful part of it all… I love looking down into her sweet face and seeing your eyes looking back up at me. She's the very best part of both of us Harm."
"I know, she's incredible," Harm broke in, seeing that she needed a break.
Nodding weakly, Jess continued. "And she's why I'm going to ask you this… I want you to remarry Harm." Holding her hand up against his protests, she said, "My daughter needs a mother and you… you need a partner. Do you know where I'm going with this Harm?" she asked, looking at him intently.
"I… I think so, Jess," he said as he looked away guiltily.
Using some of her precious strength, Jess reached out and forced him to look at her. "Don't Harm… don't feel guilty. You've done nothing to feel guilty for, I know that. I knew from the moment I saw the two of you together that you were in love. When I asked about it, I half expected some BS answer about friends and partners, but you were honest with me. And then you uttered six little words that changed my life forever… "I choose to be with you." Do you remember saying that?"
"Yes," he replied.
"With those words, I knew that while I would never hold your heart the way she does, I did have your will, your intentions, and as time went by even your love. In that moment, I made a conscious decision not to let Mac become a scepter between us, and she never was. You're looking guilty again sailor, what's wrong?"
Harm looked away and then down at her. "I should never have let you know how I feel," he replied in a soft tortured voice.
She sighed in exasperation and then said, "Didn't you hear what I just said? You didn't let me know, I figured it out… women are supposed to be able to see these things," she teased. Then more seriously she said, "Harm, I don't want you to feel guilty. I have been happy with you, and I know we were happy together. I never once wondered about the two of you, I trust you. And I want you to know how proud I was of you when you chose to move… that took a lot of strength, and I know it wasn't easy for you.
"Now I'm going to tell you something I'm not sure even you know. In some way, you never forgot her. There is a part of your heart that is reserved for only Sarah Mackenzie. You've closed it off for years, now it's time to open it back up. Go to her… be happy."
"Jess, I don't…"
"Harm, please. It's hard for me to leave you like this, but it will be even harder if I know you refuse to be happy."
"I don't want to forget you Jess," he whispered and was surprised to hear her laugh softly.
"Harm, I know you love me and will never forget me. Even if you wanted to, we do have a daughter… Now please give me peace and return the woman who has never forgotten you."
Harm nodded slightly and then stood up. "I'm going to go see if Bethy's ready to come in," he said quietly.
Trish and Frank stood when they saw him walk out. "Is she still awake?" Frank asked.
"Yeah… Mom, why don't you take Bethy in? I'll be back in a few minutes…" Harm said as he sat down in a chair.
After they had left, Frank turned to him with a look of concern. "What's wrong Harm? How's she doing?"
"She's dying Frank," Harm said as a few tears slipped down his face. "I want to tell myself it isn't true, but I can see it in her eyes, she's fading fast."
"I'm sorry son," Frank replied, at loss for what else to say.
"I know Frank… come back with me?" he asked.
"Sure." The two men walked back into the room just as Trish was standing up. Harm bent over and picked up his four year old daughter, who wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
"Daddy, is mommy going to be ok?" she whispered in his ear.
"I don't know sweetheart, I hope so," he replied, valiantly holding back tears. "Now why don't you go with Grandma and Grandpa, and I'll talk to mommy for a little bit?"
"Ok. I love you daddy," she said as she was passed willingly to her grandmother.
"I love you too Bethy. I'll see you in a few minutes ok?"
After they left, he turned toward his wife. He had a moment of slight panic when he saw her eyes were closed, but then they fluttered open and he let out a sigh of relief.
"Hey there… you back already?" she said tiredly, her attempt at teasing failing as did her strength.
"Yep. Can't get rid of me that easily."
"Harm. I'm getting tired, so tired; will you sit here and hold my hand?" she asked weakly.
His heart sank at her words, but he obeyed silently. Sitting down beside her, he took her hand in his and began to talk, reminding her of all the wonderful times they'd shared. He was in the middle of a story about Bethy when he felt her hand go slack in his. Setting it down beside her, he stood up and called for the doctor.
When he walked into the waiting room, it only took one look for his family to know it was over. Trish stood up with Bethy and came over to wrap her arms around her son. "I'm so sorry Harm," she whispered.
"I know Mom… can Bethy and I stay with you for a while? I can't go back there, not tonight."
"Of course son. Are you ready to go?" At his slight nod, she reached down for his hand and they walked out of the hospital. By unspoken agreement, Harm handed Frank his keys and let him drive his car over. He knew he was in no condition to drive.
Long after everyone else had laid down for the night, Harm was up, looking out over the ocean. "Jess, why did you leave me?" he asked for the 100th time. "I can't do this alone…" Without even thinking, he picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. After several rings, someone finally picked up.
"Mm… hello?"
"Sarah…" he whispered.
"Harm? Is that you?" she asked, confused. iIt sounds like Harm, but he hasn't called me Sarah in years… wait, what's he doing up at 01:00?/i
"Sarah, I need you," he said, his voice a little stronger, but holding a thread of weakness.
"What's wrong Harm… what's happened?" Mac asked, concerned.
"It's Jess…she was in a car accident today."
"Oh no! Is she going to be ok?"
"Sarah… my wife's dead." His voice finally broke, and Mac could hear him crying on the other end of the phone.
"I'm catching the next flight out Harm, I'll be there in the morning," Mac replied suddenly completely awake.
"Thank you Sarah… I know I'm not supposed to call you that…"
"It's ok now Harm, don't worry about it," she reassured as she began to pack. "I'm going to hang up now, I want you to try and get some sleep ok?"
"Ok… We're at Mom and Frank's place, do you need directions?"
"No, I can find it. I'll see you in the morning Harm," she said and hung up.
bPart 15
3 Months Later/b
Harm stood at attention in front of his CO. "Are you sure about this Harm?" he asked intently. "You want to move back to Washington? I know the last few months have been hard for you, maybe this isn't the right time to be making a decision."
"Yes sir, I'm sure. It's time for my daughter and I to have a new start, someplace without memories around every corner. I'd like to move back to DC if possible, that's where my friends are, but if not I'll take almost anything."
"Even though your parents live here?" the senior officer questioned, wanting to make sure.
"Yes sir."
A wide grin broke out on the other man's face. "Then I think we have just the job for you Harm. Would you accept the position of AJAG Civil Law?"
Confused, Harm looked at his CO for a minute. "Sir, isn't that an O6 position?" he asked.
"That's right Captain," he, coming around the desk to hand Harm his new shoulder boards.
Stunned, Harm just stared for a moment before smiling and shaking the man's hand. "Thank you sir, I'd be glad to take that position."
"I thought you might be. And now Captain, you are dismissed until three weeks from now, when you report to headquarters."
Harm snapped off a quick salute and spun out of the room, a grin on his face. iBack to DC… and as an AJAG! This is better than I was hoping for./i
On his way home he picked up Bethy from daycare. "Daddy!" she cried when she saw him. "You're early today!"
"That's right sweetheart, today is a big day, do you know why?" Suddenly he realized he had no idea how to tell his four year old daughter that they would be moving from the only home she'd ever known.
"No… are we having hamburgers for dinner?" she asked innocently.
Harm laughed for a minute. "If you want to we can. No, do you remember what Daddy's rank is?"
"C'mander," she replied confidently. Here was a question she knew.
"That's right… well today I got a promotion," he continued, waiting for the question.
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "What a pr… promo… that?" she asked finally.
"Promotion," Harm said slowly. "It means that Daddy has a new rank now. I'm a Captain."
The little girl's eyes widened. "Cap'n? You mean like in Peter Pan?"
Harm laughed again, enjoying this moment with his daughter. "Well, not quite honey. Captain Hook was a bad man… Daddy will still be good, but I'll have a different job." Now he was approaching the real subject, and he was nervous.
"New job? What does that mean?"
"It means I'll be doing something different, in a different office—I'll be working someplace new."
"Will we have to live in a different house?" she asked.
Surprised, Harm cast a sidelong glance at his young daughter. She didn't seem upset, just calm. "Yes, we will. Is that ok?" he asked cautiously.
She considered for a moment, and then asked, "Will Mommy's smell come with us?"
Harm's hands clenched on the steering wheel. This was one of the reasons he wanted to move, their entire house was scented lightly with Jess' perfume. "Well, not the way we have it now Bethy, but we can bring some in a bottle if you want," he answered carefully.
"Ok," she said happily, the subject closed for her.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Harm stopped by McDonald's and ordered take out for his daughter, shuddering at the thought of her eating that, but he'd promised hamburgers. When they got home, he made himself a salad and picked up the phone to call a moving company and arranged for them to come pack up his house in two weeks. While he was on the phone, he suddenly realized he had no clue where they would be living. It was time to make a few phone calls.
First on the list was his mom and Frank. "Hey Frank," he said after his stepfather picked up the phone. "Can you and Mom come over for coffee tonight? I have something important to tell you. Yeah, 8 would be fine, see you then. Bye."
When they arrived three hours later, Bethy was already in bed and the coffee was hot. "What did you want to talk about Harm?" Frank asked once they were seated.
"Mom, Frank, you both know how hard it's been for me to live in this house, being reminded of Jess everyday," Harm began.
"Are you moving to a new house?" Trish asked, confused as to why they'd come over here just to hear this.
"Trish, I think Harm has something a little more substantial to tell us," Frank told his wife.
"Thank you Frank… Mom, I was promoted today." He glanced up at her, seeing from the look on her face that she still wasn't grasping the whole situation. "With the new rank comes a new position," he hinted.
A cloud passed over her face and she looked away. "You're transferring," she said flatly.
"Back to headquarters," he confirmed. "They gave me the position of AJAG Civil Law."
A glimmer of a smile crossed her face at that and Frank was effusive. "That's great Harm," he congratulated.
"When are you leaving?" Trish asked quietly.
"I'm supposed to report in Falls Church in three weeks, but I'd like to get out there as soon as possible, so I have time to settle Bethy in before I have to be at work all day."
"Why don't you go first and let us bring her out when you find a place?" she suggested hopefully.
"I can't do that Mom. She still wakes up with nightmares, crying for Jess. Besides, I need my daughter." He knew his mom was disappointed, but he pushed on, explaining his plans. "I'm going to make some calls tomorrow and see if we could stay with Bud and Harriet while we look for an apartment. I've already called a moving company, all they need is the right address," he concluded.
"It sounds like you have it all worked out Harm," Frank commented.
"Yeah I guess so. You understand why I have to do this, don't you Mom?" he asked, suddenly unsure of himself.
She threw him a watery smile and said, "Of course I do Harm. I just know I'll miss you and Bethy is all."
"You'll have to come visit as soon as we get settled in." The three adults talked for a few more hours, and then Frank and Trish went home and Harm went to bed.
Harm spent most of the next day on the phone, working out the logistics of their move. "First call," he mumbled to himself as he dialed the number that would get him Mac's office extension.
"Lt. Col. Mackenzie."
"Hi Mac," he said.
"Hi Harm, how are you?" she asked.
"Getting better… every day presents new challenges. Hey, I've got some news."
"Really?"
"You're talking to the new AJAG Civil Law," he said proudly.
"Harm! You're moving back here… and wait! You got promoted!" she exclaimed.
"Yes and yes. Bethy and I will be there as soon as we can. I was thinking about asking Bud and Harriet if we could stay with them while we look for a place."
"Actually Harm, I think they might have a better idea. Why don't I connect you to him and you can talk with him right now?" she suggested.
"Thanks Mac." He heard a click and then Bud picked up. "Lt. Commander Roberts," he said.
"Hey Bud, it's me."
"Commander Rabb! It's good to hear from you sir!" Bud enthused.
"Actually Bud, it's Captain Rabb now." Harm stopped for a moment to take in Bud's congratulations and then continued. "I'm coming back to headquarters as AJAG Civil Law Bud, and I was wondering if Bethy and I could stay with you and Harriet until we find an apartment."
"Well congratulations again on the new position sir… Gee, this is really great timing! Harriet and I are buying a house, but we haven't found anyone to sublet our apartment yet. Would you be interested in doing that?" Bud asked eagerly.
"That'd be great Bud, when are you moving?"
"This Saturday," he replied. "We could have the apartment ready for you to move in on Monday."
"Thanks so much Bud. Hey, could you transfer me to the Admiral's yeoman?"
"Of course sir. We'll look forward to seeing you on Monday," Bud said and hit a button.
"Admiral Chegwidden's office, Petty Officer Townsend speaking," a young voice replied.
"Petty Officer, this is Captain Harmon Rabb. Is the Admiral available?"
"Yes sir, let me put you through."
"So Captain, you're coming back to us," a familiar voice boomed over the line.
"Yes sir, if you'll have me," Harm replied.
"Hell son, it was my idea! You're perfect for that job, and I knew you'd jump at the chance to move back to DC." He tactfully avoided mentioning Jess, which Harm appreciated.
"Thank you sir, I'm glad to be coming back."
"We'll see you 2 weeks from Monday Harm, now I'm sure you need to get down to the business of moving."
"Yes sir. Good bye sir," Harm said and hung up.
Picking up the phone again, he called a travel agent and booked two seats to Washington on Monday, as well as renting a car. Travel arrangements taken care of, he called the moving company back and arranged for them to pack the house the next day and move everything for them. Then he packed suitcases of clothes and essentials for himself and Bethy and they went over to his mom's for the rest of the week.
AN: Ok, I know I skipped a few things here, most notably the funeral… I'm sorry, I just can't get into writing the funeral. I tried, and it was not working. Oh, and the story of the move would be really boring because nothing happened.
Thanks for all the feedback!
Disclaimer: I don't own my own car, much less a tv show.
bPart 14
4 Years Later/b
Harm was busy working on a case when his phone rang. Picking it up, he absently answered, "Hello?"
"Is this Cmdr. Harmon Rabb, Jr?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.
Fully alert now, Harm replied, "Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?"
"This is Cindy Green from County General. Could you please come over here sir?"
A feeling of dread began to grow in the pit of Harm's stomach. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked, trying to remain calm.
"It seems your wife was involved in a car accident sir… sir? Hello? Are you still there?" But Harm had dropped the phone and was already out the door.
As he raced over to the hospital, he began to pray. iPlease let her be alright God, I need her! I can't raise our daughter alone!/i Suddenly he realized something. iBethy! She was going to pick up Bethy a while ago… surely if she'd been in the car, they would have mentioned it…/i he tried to reassure himself. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed the daycare provider.
"Hello? Mrs. Carmichael? This is Commander Rabb… Jess never picked Bethy up? Thank God! Ma'am, I'm sorry to be an inconvience, but my wife was in a car accident this afternoon. Could you keep Bethy for a while longer? Thank you ma'am, I appreciate it. My mother will be by to pick her up."
While stopped at a light, he hung up and called his mother at her gallery. "Mom, this is Harm. I've got some bad news… no nothing like that, Jess was in a car accident. I don't know how bad, I'm not to the hospital yet. But she was on her way to pick Bethy up, could you go get her and keep her for a while? Thanks Mom, I'll call you when I have more news."
By this time he'd reached the hospital and was striding into the emergency room. "I'm Commander Rabb," he identified himself at the nurse's station. "My wife was brought in a few hours ago from a car accident?"
"Hello Commander, I'm Cindy. You gave me quite a fright when you left without saying anything," the young nurse admonished as she began to lead Harm down the hallway.
"I'm sorry ma'am… I wasn't thinking."
"Of course you weren't. Here she is," she said gesturing through an open door.
Looking in, Harm gasped at the sight of his wife. She beaten and bloodied, covered with wires and machines. "How… how serious is she?" he asked quietly as he sat by her still form.
"I don't know exactly, I'll send the doctor in to talk to you now that you're here," Cindy replied as she left.
Harm gently picked up Jess' hand and held it. "Wake up sweetheart, please… I need you to talk to me," he pleaded softly.
"Commander Rabb?" a voice asked from the hallway.
Harm turned around and saw a doctor in his late 30's standing behind him. "Yes?" he asked nervously.
"Why don't you come with me for a moment so I can tell you what's going on," the other man suggested gently.
Harm reluctantly let go of his wife's hand and followed the doctor. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," he ventured as they entered a small room.
"Doctor Adam James," he replied. "Now what do you know so far?"
"All I know is that my wife was supposed to be picking up our daughter from daycare this afternoon and apparently was involved in a car accident before she got there. Please, how is she?"
"The accident your wife was in was a three car pileup on the freeway, Commander. The other two drivers were both DOA and one passenger is currently in critical condition, as is your wife."
"But she'll be fine right?"
"I'm afraid I can't promise you that sir… I'm very sorry, but she might not even wake up," Dr. James stated.
Numb, Harm stood and shook his hand. "I see, thank you doctor. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my wife."
"Of course sir."
Finding the chair next to Jess' bed, Harm sank down into it. iHe has to be wrong,/i he insisted to himself. iShe's so young, it's too early… and Bethy, what will I tell Bethy?/i Suddenly realizing he hadn't gotten back to his mom about Jess' condition, Harm pulled out his phone and dialed her number. "Mom? No Mom, it's not good… the doctor… he isn't even sure she'll wake up. Could you bring Bethy over here? If he's right, she should be able to say goodbye." As he talked to his mother, he became aware of some movement out of the corner of his eye. Looking up, he saw his wife's eye's begin to flutter open. "Mom? Jess is starting to wake up, I'll talk to you when you get here ok?" he said and hung up.
"Jess?" he said quietly and picked up her hand. "Come on Jess, I'm right here… open your eyes for me honey," he begged.
Finally his attempts were rewarded as she slowly opened her grey eyes and looked right at him. "Harm? What happened… wait, there was a car in front of me… it flipped." She tried to remember all the details but was quieted by her husband.
"Don't worry about it Jess… I'm going to go get the doctor, ok?" he said as he slipped from the room running smack into Dr. James. "Doctor! I'm so glad to see you… Jess just woke up!" he said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.
"Why don't you have a seat in the waiting room Harm while I check on her?" he suggested.
That was where Trish, Frank, and Bethy found him when they arrived 20 minutes later. "Harm? What's going on? Is she going to be ok?" Trish asked worriedly.
"I don't know for sure Mom, but she woke up so that's got to mean something. Wait, here's the doctor. Dr. James, this is my mother and step-father and my daughter Bethy. Could you tell us how she's doing?" he asked almost desperately.
He hesitated for a moment, glancing at the little girl. Frank understood and took her by the hand. "Bethy, why don't you and I go get something from the cafeteria," he suggested as they walked away.
"What's wrong doctor?" Trish asked quietly.
"Mrs. Rabb suffered severe internal injuries, some of which are still bleeding, as well as a massive head injury. It's a miracle she woke up at all, and I don't expect her to last the night. I would suggest that the whole family take this reprieve to say good bye."
Harm reeled back in shock, and once again Trish came to the rescue. "Are you sure doctor?"
"As sure as I can be. There's always a chance for a miraculous recovery, but I wouldn't be counting on it right now," he replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some other patients I need to check in on."
When he walked away, Trish turned to look at her son. He looked shell shocked. "Harm," she said gently, "Why don't you go in first? I'll go get Frank and Bethy, and we'll come in about 30 minutes." She pushed him in the direction of Jess' room and walked toward the cafeteria.
Harm slowly walked into Jess' room and sat down by her side. Picking up her hand, he stroked her forehead until she woke from the light sleep she'd fallen into. "Hey there," he said softly, smiling at her. "How do you feel?"
"Like I was hit by a truck," she replied with a touch of humor. "Where's Bethy?"
"She's in the cafeteria with Mom and Frank. They'll be here in about 30 minutes."
"Good, I need to talk to you alone first. Harm, there are some things I want to tell you before…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.
"Hey, don't talk like that. You're going to be fine," Harm insisted.
"Honey, you know that isn't what the doctor said, and I can't go without saying these things. Please just listen," she begged.
"What kind of things?" he asked, genuinely confused.
"Well first off I love you."
"I already knew that," he said with a grin.
"I know, but I want to make sure you understand how happy you've made me. You and Bethy are the best thing that's ever happened to me." She stopped for a moment, wracked with coughs.
"Hey, maybe you shouldn't be talking so much," Harm said suddenly concerned.
"I have to Harm… it's important." Taking a deep breath to gather her strength, she pushed on. "You always made me feel special. It was wonderful knowing that your strength was there for me, and I tried to give you my support in return. These last five years that I've tasted the gift of your love have been the happiest of my life.
"Bethy is the most wonderful part of it all… I love looking down into her sweet face and seeing your eyes looking back up at me. She's the very best part of both of us Harm."
"I know, she's incredible," Harm broke in, seeing that she needed a break.
Nodding weakly, Jess continued. "And she's why I'm going to ask you this… I want you to remarry Harm." Holding her hand up against his protests, she said, "My daughter needs a mother and you… you need a partner. Do you know where I'm going with this Harm?" she asked, looking at him intently.
"I… I think so, Jess," he said as he looked away guiltily.
Using some of her precious strength, Jess reached out and forced him to look at her. "Don't Harm… don't feel guilty. You've done nothing to feel guilty for, I know that. I knew from the moment I saw the two of you together that you were in love. When I asked about it, I half expected some BS answer about friends and partners, but you were honest with me. And then you uttered six little words that changed my life forever… "I choose to be with you." Do you remember saying that?"
"Yes," he replied.
"With those words, I knew that while I would never hold your heart the way she does, I did have your will, your intentions, and as time went by even your love. In that moment, I made a conscious decision not to let Mac become a scepter between us, and she never was. You're looking guilty again sailor, what's wrong?"
Harm looked away and then down at her. "I should never have let you know how I feel," he replied in a soft tortured voice.
She sighed in exasperation and then said, "Didn't you hear what I just said? You didn't let me know, I figured it out… women are supposed to be able to see these things," she teased. Then more seriously she said, "Harm, I don't want you to feel guilty. I have been happy with you, and I know we were happy together. I never once wondered about the two of you, I trust you. And I want you to know how proud I was of you when you chose to move… that took a lot of strength, and I know it wasn't easy for you.
"Now I'm going to tell you something I'm not sure even you know. In some way, you never forgot her. There is a part of your heart that is reserved for only Sarah Mackenzie. You've closed it off for years, now it's time to open it back up. Go to her… be happy."
"Jess, I don't…"
"Harm, please. It's hard for me to leave you like this, but it will be even harder if I know you refuse to be happy."
"I don't want to forget you Jess," he whispered and was surprised to hear her laugh softly.
"Harm, I know you love me and will never forget me. Even if you wanted to, we do have a daughter… Now please give me peace and return the woman who has never forgotten you."
Harm nodded slightly and then stood up. "I'm going to go see if Bethy's ready to come in," he said quietly.
Trish and Frank stood when they saw him walk out. "Is she still awake?" Frank asked.
"Yeah… Mom, why don't you take Bethy in? I'll be back in a few minutes…" Harm said as he sat down in a chair.
After they had left, Frank turned to him with a look of concern. "What's wrong Harm? How's she doing?"
"She's dying Frank," Harm said as a few tears slipped down his face. "I want to tell myself it isn't true, but I can see it in her eyes, she's fading fast."
"I'm sorry son," Frank replied, at loss for what else to say.
"I know Frank… come back with me?" he asked.
"Sure." The two men walked back into the room just as Trish was standing up. Harm bent over and picked up his four year old daughter, who wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
"Daddy, is mommy going to be ok?" she whispered in his ear.
"I don't know sweetheart, I hope so," he replied, valiantly holding back tears. "Now why don't you go with Grandma and Grandpa, and I'll talk to mommy for a little bit?"
"Ok. I love you daddy," she said as she was passed willingly to her grandmother.
"I love you too Bethy. I'll see you in a few minutes ok?"
After they left, he turned toward his wife. He had a moment of slight panic when he saw her eyes were closed, but then they fluttered open and he let out a sigh of relief.
"Hey there… you back already?" she said tiredly, her attempt at teasing failing as did her strength.
"Yep. Can't get rid of me that easily."
"Harm. I'm getting tired, so tired; will you sit here and hold my hand?" she asked weakly.
His heart sank at her words, but he obeyed silently. Sitting down beside her, he took her hand in his and began to talk, reminding her of all the wonderful times they'd shared. He was in the middle of a story about Bethy when he felt her hand go slack in his. Setting it down beside her, he stood up and called for the doctor.
When he walked into the waiting room, it only took one look for his family to know it was over. Trish stood up with Bethy and came over to wrap her arms around her son. "I'm so sorry Harm," she whispered.
"I know Mom… can Bethy and I stay with you for a while? I can't go back there, not tonight."
"Of course son. Are you ready to go?" At his slight nod, she reached down for his hand and they walked out of the hospital. By unspoken agreement, Harm handed Frank his keys and let him drive his car over. He knew he was in no condition to drive.
Long after everyone else had laid down for the night, Harm was up, looking out over the ocean. "Jess, why did you leave me?" he asked for the 100th time. "I can't do this alone…" Without even thinking, he picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. After several rings, someone finally picked up.
"Mm… hello?"
"Sarah…" he whispered.
"Harm? Is that you?" she asked, confused. iIt sounds like Harm, but he hasn't called me Sarah in years… wait, what's he doing up at 01:00?/i
"Sarah, I need you," he said, his voice a little stronger, but holding a thread of weakness.
"What's wrong Harm… what's happened?" Mac asked, concerned.
"It's Jess…she was in a car accident today."
"Oh no! Is she going to be ok?"
"Sarah… my wife's dead." His voice finally broke, and Mac could hear him crying on the other end of the phone.
"I'm catching the next flight out Harm, I'll be there in the morning," Mac replied suddenly completely awake.
"Thank you Sarah… I know I'm not supposed to call you that…"
"It's ok now Harm, don't worry about it," she reassured as she began to pack. "I'm going to hang up now, I want you to try and get some sleep ok?"
"Ok… We're at Mom and Frank's place, do you need directions?"
"No, I can find it. I'll see you in the morning Harm," she said and hung up.
bPart 15
3 Months Later/b
Harm stood at attention in front of his CO. "Are you sure about this Harm?" he asked intently. "You want to move back to Washington? I know the last few months have been hard for you, maybe this isn't the right time to be making a decision."
"Yes sir, I'm sure. It's time for my daughter and I to have a new start, someplace without memories around every corner. I'd like to move back to DC if possible, that's where my friends are, but if not I'll take almost anything."
"Even though your parents live here?" the senior officer questioned, wanting to make sure.
"Yes sir."
A wide grin broke out on the other man's face. "Then I think we have just the job for you Harm. Would you accept the position of AJAG Civil Law?"
Confused, Harm looked at his CO for a minute. "Sir, isn't that an O6 position?" he asked.
"That's right Captain," he, coming around the desk to hand Harm his new shoulder boards.
Stunned, Harm just stared for a moment before smiling and shaking the man's hand. "Thank you sir, I'd be glad to take that position."
"I thought you might be. And now Captain, you are dismissed until three weeks from now, when you report to headquarters."
Harm snapped off a quick salute and spun out of the room, a grin on his face. iBack to DC… and as an AJAG! This is better than I was hoping for./i
On his way home he picked up Bethy from daycare. "Daddy!" she cried when she saw him. "You're early today!"
"That's right sweetheart, today is a big day, do you know why?" Suddenly he realized he had no idea how to tell his four year old daughter that they would be moving from the only home she'd ever known.
"No… are we having hamburgers for dinner?" she asked innocently.
Harm laughed for a minute. "If you want to we can. No, do you remember what Daddy's rank is?"
"C'mander," she replied confidently. Here was a question she knew.
"That's right… well today I got a promotion," he continued, waiting for the question.
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "What a pr… promo… that?" she asked finally.
"Promotion," Harm said slowly. "It means that Daddy has a new rank now. I'm a Captain."
The little girl's eyes widened. "Cap'n? You mean like in Peter Pan?"
Harm laughed again, enjoying this moment with his daughter. "Well, not quite honey. Captain Hook was a bad man… Daddy will still be good, but I'll have a different job." Now he was approaching the real subject, and he was nervous.
"New job? What does that mean?"
"It means I'll be doing something different, in a different office—I'll be working someplace new."
"Will we have to live in a different house?" she asked.
Surprised, Harm cast a sidelong glance at his young daughter. She didn't seem upset, just calm. "Yes, we will. Is that ok?" he asked cautiously.
She considered for a moment, and then asked, "Will Mommy's smell come with us?"
Harm's hands clenched on the steering wheel. This was one of the reasons he wanted to move, their entire house was scented lightly with Jess' perfume. "Well, not the way we have it now Bethy, but we can bring some in a bottle if you want," he answered carefully.
"Ok," she said happily, the subject closed for her.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Harm stopped by McDonald's and ordered take out for his daughter, shuddering at the thought of her eating that, but he'd promised hamburgers. When they got home, he made himself a salad and picked up the phone to call a moving company and arranged for them to come pack up his house in two weeks. While he was on the phone, he suddenly realized he had no clue where they would be living. It was time to make a few phone calls.
First on the list was his mom and Frank. "Hey Frank," he said after his stepfather picked up the phone. "Can you and Mom come over for coffee tonight? I have something important to tell you. Yeah, 8 would be fine, see you then. Bye."
When they arrived three hours later, Bethy was already in bed and the coffee was hot. "What did you want to talk about Harm?" Frank asked once they were seated.
"Mom, Frank, you both know how hard it's been for me to live in this house, being reminded of Jess everyday," Harm began.
"Are you moving to a new house?" Trish asked, confused as to why they'd come over here just to hear this.
"Trish, I think Harm has something a little more substantial to tell us," Frank told his wife.
"Thank you Frank… Mom, I was promoted today." He glanced up at her, seeing from the look on her face that she still wasn't grasping the whole situation. "With the new rank comes a new position," he hinted.
A cloud passed over her face and she looked away. "You're transferring," she said flatly.
"Back to headquarters," he confirmed. "They gave me the position of AJAG Civil Law."
A glimmer of a smile crossed her face at that and Frank was effusive. "That's great Harm," he congratulated.
"When are you leaving?" Trish asked quietly.
"I'm supposed to report in Falls Church in three weeks, but I'd like to get out there as soon as possible, so I have time to settle Bethy in before I have to be at work all day."
"Why don't you go first and let us bring her out when you find a place?" she suggested hopefully.
"I can't do that Mom. She still wakes up with nightmares, crying for Jess. Besides, I need my daughter." He knew his mom was disappointed, but he pushed on, explaining his plans. "I'm going to make some calls tomorrow and see if we could stay with Bud and Harriet while we look for an apartment. I've already called a moving company, all they need is the right address," he concluded.
"It sounds like you have it all worked out Harm," Frank commented.
"Yeah I guess so. You understand why I have to do this, don't you Mom?" he asked, suddenly unsure of himself.
She threw him a watery smile and said, "Of course I do Harm. I just know I'll miss you and Bethy is all."
"You'll have to come visit as soon as we get settled in." The three adults talked for a few more hours, and then Frank and Trish went home and Harm went to bed.
Harm spent most of the next day on the phone, working out the logistics of their move. "First call," he mumbled to himself as he dialed the number that would get him Mac's office extension.
"Lt. Col. Mackenzie."
"Hi Mac," he said.
"Hi Harm, how are you?" she asked.
"Getting better… every day presents new challenges. Hey, I've got some news."
"Really?"
"You're talking to the new AJAG Civil Law," he said proudly.
"Harm! You're moving back here… and wait! You got promoted!" she exclaimed.
"Yes and yes. Bethy and I will be there as soon as we can. I was thinking about asking Bud and Harriet if we could stay with them while we look for a place."
"Actually Harm, I think they might have a better idea. Why don't I connect you to him and you can talk with him right now?" she suggested.
"Thanks Mac." He heard a click and then Bud picked up. "Lt. Commander Roberts," he said.
"Hey Bud, it's me."
"Commander Rabb! It's good to hear from you sir!" Bud enthused.
"Actually Bud, it's Captain Rabb now." Harm stopped for a moment to take in Bud's congratulations and then continued. "I'm coming back to headquarters as AJAG Civil Law Bud, and I was wondering if Bethy and I could stay with you and Harriet until we find an apartment."
"Well congratulations again on the new position sir… Gee, this is really great timing! Harriet and I are buying a house, but we haven't found anyone to sublet our apartment yet. Would you be interested in doing that?" Bud asked eagerly.
"That'd be great Bud, when are you moving?"
"This Saturday," he replied. "We could have the apartment ready for you to move in on Monday."
"Thanks so much Bud. Hey, could you transfer me to the Admiral's yeoman?"
"Of course sir. We'll look forward to seeing you on Monday," Bud said and hit a button.
"Admiral Chegwidden's office, Petty Officer Townsend speaking," a young voice replied.
"Petty Officer, this is Captain Harmon Rabb. Is the Admiral available?"
"Yes sir, let me put you through."
"So Captain, you're coming back to us," a familiar voice boomed over the line.
"Yes sir, if you'll have me," Harm replied.
"Hell son, it was my idea! You're perfect for that job, and I knew you'd jump at the chance to move back to DC." He tactfully avoided mentioning Jess, which Harm appreciated.
"Thank you sir, I'm glad to be coming back."
"We'll see you 2 weeks from Monday Harm, now I'm sure you need to get down to the business of moving."
"Yes sir. Good bye sir," Harm said and hung up.
Picking up the phone again, he called a travel agent and booked two seats to Washington on Monday, as well as renting a car. Travel arrangements taken care of, he called the moving company back and arranged for them to pack the house the next day and move everything for them. Then he packed suitcases of clothes and essentials for himself and Bethy and they went over to his mom's for the rest of the week.
AN: Ok, I know I skipped a few things here, most notably the funeral… I'm sorry, I just can't get into writing the funeral. I tried, and it was not working. Oh, and the story of the move would be really boring because nothing happened.
Thanks for all the feedback!