Too tired for an author's note. Enjoy 22. :)

Chapter 22

Lie to Me

Nefertiri saw the letter as soon as she opened her eyes. It lay on the pillow next to her, folded into a little square. She knew immediately who had written it, though Tahir had probably been the one to deliver it.

My phoenix:

I know things haven't been easy these past weeks. It is no excuse to say I have been busy. I can't stand to be away from you, but circumstances do not always give us what we want. We cannot change the past, however, we can only hope for the future.

I won't lie to you. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared. I am so used to consequences being lain out in black and white, so used to my duty to my people, to your father, guiding me, that I wonder if I have forgotten how to make my own decisions. I have always obeyed the rules, and when we broke them, all of my silly ideas about the order of the world were thrown out the window. I would not take them back, not for anything, if it meant giving up you.

What the future holds has yet to be revealed, but I cannot see an easy solution to all of this. Even without the knowledge you sought from the oracle, it is obvious that our life has become so muddled we may never untangle it again. But I will not let anything happen to you. I hope you trust me enough to believe in that. I told you once we just have to believe, and everything would turn out all right. While I am no longer so sure of myself, I am sure of one thing. Love may not be the answer to all things, but it is what makes life worth living. I want you to remember that, always. I know I will.

Your prince.

Even without the unbalanced hormones of her pregnancy upsetting her emotions, Nefertiri could not help but break into tears by the time she'd finished reading the letter. All the rage, all the fear she'd felt over the past week, it was all eased as she studied the single sheet of paper. Morning stretched into afternoon as Nefertiri read the letter over and over again as if it could substitute for Achsu-rai's presence somehow. Tahir was in and out, bringing her tea, and food that she wouldn't eat. The hours did not matter to her, her world having become so confused that she no longer registered anything but the rising and setting of the sun.

Achsu-rai entered without a sound, and her sudden realization of his presence made her jump. "I only have a few minutes before they notice I'm gone," he said. "I just...I had to see you."

Nefertiri nodded. "I got your letter."

"Good."

Their usually easy conversation seemed impeded by an invisible force, both of them uncomfortable in the silence as it stretched longer and longer between them. Nefertiri decided to say something, anything, just to hear his voice again, though she averted her eyes. "I feel like you've been distancing yourself from me lately."

"I didn't mean to. Things have just been..."

"Busy," she finished, looking up.

"Horrible. I hate not seeing you."

"It's okay. I understand."

It didn't matter how mad she was, she simply needed to be near him. As she stood he drew her into a hug, reminding her with a twinge of the night he'd caught her and refused to let her go.

"It feels good just to be in your arms," she told him, shaking off the memories. "I asked after you often, but they always told me you were busy."

"I'm sorry. We have to find him."

"I know. I just...I miss you."

"I miss you, too. It's been days since I've heard your voice."

"And what a magnificent voice it is."

"It is magnificent. And sweet." He kissed her timidly, waiting for a reaction. "And brilliant." She didn't protest, so he kissed her again, lightly. "And sexy." Another kiss. "And absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever heard."

"Hmm. I think that almost counts as an apology."

"I'd better finish it out then, don't you think?" He gave her no chance to reply as he kissed her again, this time with the abandon of one who has been away for far too long.

When he broke the kiss, the silence that followed was much more welcome than the first, both of them simply enjoying the other's presence. "I rather think saving my life was enough of an apology anyway," said Nefertiri after a while. "I never thanked you."

"You don't need to."

"Right. It was your job."

"No," he corrected her. "It was my life. You are my life."

Nefertiri didn't hesitate, needing an answer as she needed air to breathe. "Would you leave with me?" she asked. "If I ever asked you to...would you? For me?"

He contemplated her for a moment before answering. "If I said yes, I would betray my people. If I said no, I would betray you. I can do neither."

"You're going to have to choose one, sooner or later. You know that, don't you? You know this isn't going to work."

"Don't say that--"

"I will say it, because it's the truth!" Her imagination, left to brood for so long alone, burst forth into the daylight, thoughts of a happier outcome quickly vanishing in the face of reality. "You'll have to get married sooner or later, you need an heir. Ramses won't let me marry you, he would laugh at the mere suggestion! Imagine, the heir to the leadership of the Medjai, with royal blood! We can't have that, can we? We can't have two people marrying just because they're in love, whoever heard of such a thing!"

"Nefertiri, we can't just run from our problems."

"Stop telling me what to do!"

"I'm not going to--"

"You have no right to tell me what to do! I never even see you anymore, and now you presume to tell me that what I feel is wrong? Is our love wrong, Achsu-rai? Was this a mistake? Do you regret this?... Answer me. Do you regret this? Do you regret me?"

"No," he said, shoulders dropping, brave countenance finally collapsing under the weight of their secret. "I don't understand how the gods could show me someone so amazing and then threaten to take her away. I won't let them, I can't. I can't lose you Nefertiri, I couldn't bear it."

She'd become to used to crying in the past weeks that she didn't bother to fight the tears anymore. He hugged her again, drawing her close so as to reassure himself as well as her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he repeated, "I'm sorry. Don't worry, okay? We'll always be together, they can't take this away from us. I'll always be here to protect you. Always."

Ramses jumped a bit when Hadamer stalked into the room, and valiantly attempted to cover the fact by standing quickly. Your nerves are just raw, he told himself. You've been under a lot of stress lately...

Fortunately for Ramses, Hadamer was just as self-centered as the pharaoh, and gave no indication that he'd noticed Ramses' flinching. "You lied," Hadamer hissed. "You told me it was pure nonsense."

Ramses raised his eyebrows, attempting to discern exactly what his friend was so upset over. "What are you talking about?"

"Nefertiri and her mysterious suitor. She was telling the truth."

"What? How do you know?"

Hadamer thrust a crumpled piece of paper into Ramses' hands. "I found this in Nefertiri's room. It would seem, pharaoh, that there is 'another man.' And from the looks of this letter...he's a Medjai."

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