Hi everyone! How are you? Well here's a little sum up of a conversation that me and my friends had at school a few day's ago. Hope you enjoy.

One other thing there is a short list in here but please don't get rid of this fanfic it's really funny and most of is isn't a list.

On the ride home from school me and my friends have really messed up conversations on the bus about random stuff. And one of our conversations was about what kind of underwear did the characters of Middle Earth wear or what kind of modern one's would they wear. And for all those who want to know the answer here you go.

Frodo wears boxers, while Sam wears whitie tighties. Both Marry and Pippin wear briefs. Gimily is free ballin it (not wearing anything) and Aragorn is wearing boxers. Gandalf wears long underwear. And Boromir who is all with the flowing testosterone has to be wearing a lavender colored women's underwear. And Legolas just has to be wearing speedo spandex underwear. Now for Elrond, after a lot of thinking we (my friends and I) have come to the conclusion that Elrond has to be wearing a man thong because he's so up tight and he always looks pissed off because of his 45 degree angled eyebrows. And Hildar ok this one was tuff but with a little help from my friend Pat we now know what's wrong with him and why he's all pissy and 'you can not enter the woods' its because he wears boxer but there one size to small so he has the chafing thing going on. Ok now for the bad guys. Alright raise of hands how many of you also agree that the orc's, goblins, and the other ugly shit's Sarumon sent are all wearing black panties with garter belts and pantyhose under their armor? Also Sauron (before he was just a big flaming eyeball) wore a pastel pink thong with garter belt and pantyhose with fluffy pink feather when he went into battle.

Ok now here is my list of thing's to do if I ever made it to Middle Earth

1)Run up to Frodo put him in a headlock and give him a killer nuggie.

2)Dress Sam up as a woman because he's Frodo's little bitch

3)Dress Pippin up as a Pimp and Marry as a ho

4)Shave off Gimily's beard

5)Get a running start and kick Boromir in the nuts

6)Grab Legolas's ass and give him a full body cavity search ^-^

7)Get a protractor and measure the exact angle of Elronds eyebrows

8)Force Sarumon to wear pants instead of his dress and cut his girly fingernails

9)And the last thing shoot Aragorn in the butt with a paintball gun

Now for the last thing in my deranged conversation with my friends is exactly why Elrond has those eyebrows stuck like that.

We have come to the conclusion that along with a permanent weggie from his man thong he also has crabs and he can't itch them because he's always around people and it would be impolite to start scratching your crotch around guests. Those give him that serious look but the eyebrows is because of the multiple thing's stuck up his butt. He has up his butt a short sword from the battle in which the dark lord fell lodged up there from an over eager orc, a fairly large stick when he slipped and fell out of a tree and fell on a stick which lodged itself into his butt, and a shrew ( a shrew is just like a mouse butt has smaller eye's, and a shorter tail they also have slightly poisonous spit to help them hunt worms) up there as well when he sat down before he looked were he was sitting. And those are the reasons whey Elrond has those 45 degree angled eyebrows... well you would have them too if you have a shrew up you butt.

Well what do you think? Flames are welcomed.