"I still can't find it!!!" Francie's voice bellowed through the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes, "Will you calm down! I'm sure we'll find it!"
I heard her groan and then brush past me toward the laundry room. She opened the dryer door and started pulling clothes out and tossing them over her shoulder.
"Hey! Oh, that's great Fran, throw some more clean clothes on the floor why don't you?" I nagged.
"Ah ha! Found it!" She announced triumphantly, holding her favorite black skirt up to emphasize her victory.
"Well that's a relief. The world isn't ending," I muttered sarcastically as I picked up the items she had left on the floor and shoved them back into dryer. Francie glared at me playfully before heading back to her room to pack the shirt into her already full suit case. She closed the strained zipper and set her bags by the front door.
"Well that looks like that's it," she said.
"Yeah looks like you're all ready," I agreed. The irony of the situation was not lost on me, for once it was Francie who was leaving tomorrow morning instead of me.
"What are you smiling about?" she asked with a giggle.
I took a minute before deciding that there would be no harm in telling her, "I was just thinking that it was funny. It's usually the other way around. You're usually the one helping me pack for a trip."
She laughed and then quickly grew serious, "Listen Syd, if you wanted to.....I mean you know you'd be welcome at my family's house."
"Francie-" I protested.
"Sydney it is Christmas, I feel bad leaving you here alone," she began.
"You're worse than Will you know that? I'm not a two year old! I told you already you have nothing to feel bad about. Besides I won't be alone, my dad's here," I offered in hopes that it would get her to drop the subject. In truth, though it would be great to spend Christmas with my father like in a normal family, the chances of it really happening were unlikely.
"Yeah, but I just don't want you to be lonely," she said.
"I won't be!" I said firmly.
She sighed and then look up at me with a wicked smile, "You know you seem pretty adamant about me going on this trip. Maybe you're planning to invite someone over whom I don't know about?"
I rolled my eyes, "Very funny!" Nope, sorry Francie, it's not a cover for some torrid affair, my life really is this pathetic! Of course I didn't say that last part out loud.
"Okay, okay, if you don't want to talk about it," she teased, I rolled my eyes again which caused her to laugh, "Goodnight hon."
"Goodnight," I responded as the two of us retreated to our respective rooms.
I crawled into bed and sighed heavily. As if it weren't bad enough that I was spending Christmas alone this year, apparently all of my friends thought that I was some pity case for it. Dixon invited me to Christmas dinner, Francie invited me to come along with her to Sacramento, and Will, who had gone to visit relatives in the mid-west, had even called them to cancel at first. I remembered how I practically had to force him to get on the plane.
I sighed again and turned over onto my side. I wished for at least one day out of the year when I could just be normal. When I could go to holiday parties and drink however much I wanted without having to worry about anything other than having a hangover the next morning, when I didn't stand in the middle of JC Penny wondering if SD-6 was watching me as I pawed through the gift items that were on sale, when I wouldn't have to think about whether I could tell my friend the truth about what I was thinking or whether I would have to lie to her. Day when I could be normal........yeah that was definitely on the top of my list, but unfortunately I knew that even Santa Clause couldn't manage that one.