Reunited
Chapter 3 – Together Again
"Dave?" Said Kochanski. She stepped forward towards him.
"Kristine." Answered Lister. They ran to each other and embraced tightly, the grin on Lister's face became even wider and his eyes prickled with tears of joy. "I've missed you so much," he whispered.
The other Lister watched jealously for as long as he could stand it, his mouth half open and a gormless expression of surprise on his face. After what seemed like years he tore his eyes away and looked at Rimmer.
"I accidentally damaged this guys ship this morning, thought reuniting him with his girl was the least I could do by way of an apology." Said Rimmer
Lister beckoned with his hand for Rimmer to follow him and stomped off into the next room. Rimmer followed, Cat and Kryten went with them, giving Kris and Dave some privacy.
******
"I cannot believe that you did this Rimmer!" Exploded Lister the minute they were out of earshot of the happy couple.
"Did what?" Asked Rimmer.
Lister sighed, "You know what, bringing him here. You're going to take them back to their dimension, aren't you? You're going to take her away! You git."
Rimmer was offended. He should have known Lister would react like this, he would have known if he'd thought for half a second, but he was too busy playing the hero.
Cat stepped forwards towards Lister, "Hey, calm down buddy, you can't blame Ace for this."
Lister stared at him, angry at being interrupted before he even had the chance to begin his rant. "Really?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and fury, "and why can't I blame him? Give me one reason."
Cat grinned, only one reason, that was easy. He even had an answer, one that made total sense, not even Lister would be able to argue with it. "Look at him," he said, "he's the second best dressed guy in the universe, how can you blame him for anything."
"Cat, get out." Lister told him, pointing to the door.
Cat shrugged and left. "See you later bud," he said over his shoulder to Ace.
Kryten watched Cat leave, "Good," he said, "now we can have a real conversation. Mr. Ace sir, I would be fascinated to hear of all the adventures you have had since we last saw you."
"Later Kryten," Lister told him, "I need to speak to 'Ace' here in private."
Kryten left too, looking a little put out. When they were finally alone Lister turned to Rimmer, "How could you do this to me, man?" he asked, "You knew how much I wanted to be with Kochanski, she was finally here and you turn up in your stupid wig and take her away."
"You didn't tell the Cat and Kryten about me then?" asked Rimmer, reverting to his own voice now that they had gone.
"No, I thought it'd be best that way." Rimmer nodded. It was best that way, he wasn't sure why, but it probably was. That was the way that all the other Aces had done it, it had to be the right way. "Stop trying to change the subject Rimmer," Lister said.
"All right, all right," said Rimmer. This wasn't the homecoming he had envisioned. "I wasn't thinking, your double seemed like an okay guy, he was heartbroken about losing Kochanski. It didn't seem right to just leave him like that when I could do something to help. I knew where she was, I had the ship that could take him to her, what else could I have done?"
"You could have not mentioned anything about it, said 'Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast' and smegged off. He'd never have known, Kochanski could have stayed here and everyone would have been happy. Well, no one would have been more unhappy that they were before anyway."
"I couldn't have done that." Rimmer insisted. Why didn't Lister understand?
"Why the smeg not?. Leave him with a broken heart, who cares? I'm the Lister you've known for years. I'm the Lister that convinced you to become Ace. Doesn't that mean anything to you? He had her for seven years, it's time I had a chance." Lister sat down. He knew he was being irrational. He just really wanted Kochanski to stay with him. It didn't matter that she hadn't shown the slightest bit of interest in him, it didn't matter that she constantly went on about 'her Dave' and tried to find a way to get back to him. All that mattered was that she was there, and as long as she was there, there was always a chance that the other things could change. But now she was leaving, and it was all Rimmer's fault.
"Lister, please. Think about what you're saying. 'He had her for seven years.' She's not one of your AR simulations that you can borrow from someone and give back when you're done with it. She's a living, breathing human being and she wants to be with him. Besides, don't you realise that for six of the seven years they were together they couldn't even touch? You can't imagine what it's like, Lister, to spend years trapped in a body incapable of touch, unable to feel anything. It's as close to being in hell as a person can get." He looked at Lister, his face was unreadable, he didn't know whether he was getting through to him or not. "I'm sorry you have to lose her, but she doesn't belong here, she belongs with him. Didn't you see her face when she saw him?"
Lister sat and thought about this for longer than he had ever thought about anything before in his life. Rimmer was right, he decided. He hated to admit it but Kochanski wasn't happy with him. All she wanted was to go back to her perfect hologramatic boyfriend. As much as he wanted her to stay with him, he wanted her to be happy. It stank, but there was nothing he could do about it. He looked at Rimmer sat opposite him, he had changed so much since he had last saw him. The old Rimmer would never have been able to convince him of something like that. He wouldn't have known how. "Okay," he said finally, "maybe you're right. I'm not saying you are but you might be. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now but we'll see what happens."
Rimmer nodded. Lister had no way of making Kochanski stay if she didn't want to, all he had done was convinced him not to hate him for bringing his double back. Maybe he'd even made him realise he'd done the right thing.
"So," said Lister, "tell me what you've been up to."
Rimmer smiled, this was more like it. It was time to show off.
******
Lister lay on his back on his bunk staring upwards. The events of the day played themselves through his head over and over again, there was nothing he could do to stop it. It had started off like any other normal, boring day. He'd woken up early in the afternoon, had a shower and sat around. Then Rimmer had turned up with his new best friend the Holo-Lister and wrecked everything.
He couldn't say things had been going fantastically with Krissie, but they'd been moving along fairly nicely. He'd figured that if things continued as they were, he should get her in bed within the next few months. No chance of that now though. She was going to leave, with him. And worst of all, somehow Rimmer had managed to convince him that letting her go without a fight was the right thing to do. That she would be happier with 'her Dave'. And he'd done it using emotional blackmail. 'You can't imagine what it's like, Lister. Blah blah blah' that just wasn't right. OK, so he'd never died, he'd never been a hologram, except for a few weeks when he bodyswapped with Rimmer, but so what? Rimmer had made out that that made him inferior, and just for a moment he'd fallen for it. He'd even started to feel sympathy for Rimmer. What a disturbing thought. But no! Just because the other guy was dead didn't mean he had the right to swoop in and steal Kris away. He was going to fight for her as hard as he could right up until the second she left.
He was interrupted from his thoughts by Cat wandering in, "What are you doing?" he asked
Lister rolled his head towards him, "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked back at him.
Cat stared at Lister for a minute, "Well…" he said eventually, "it looks like you were thinking about something, but seeing as it's you, that's that theory out the window."
"Did you come in here for a reason?"
"Not really." Said the Cat, sitting down, "I was bored, everyone's busy. Kryten's doing laundry, Ace is has vanished and officer BB went into her quarters with that hologram." He leaned towards Lister conspiratorially, "I think they're having sex!" he said in a fairly loud whisper.
Lister sat up and rested his head on his hand, "Well that's just great," he said, "that finishes off my day smegging brilliantly. Not only does he have to be here but also now she's sleeping with him. She's sleeping with a dead man! There's a word for people who do that!"
"What's the word?"
"Go away Cat," said Lister. Then he lay back down, closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep. Not an easy task with images of Kris and 'her Dave' forcing their way into his mind.
******
"Been having fun?" asked Lister in a cheery, upbeat way to the tired, messy haired woman who wondered bleary eyed into the room and opened the fridge.
Kochanski looked up, "I didn't know you'd be in here so early." She said
"Well, I thought I'd get an early start," said Lister, "besides, it's nearly one in the afternoon, I thought you were the early bird of this crew." Realisation dawned on Kochanski, she knew what Lister was doing, he was trying to embarrass her. "I don't suppose you're part of the crew any more though, are you?" he added. He was trying to make her guilty as well. Well, it wasn't going to bother her.
She looked at Lister sat at the table, watching her with an 'I know what you've been doing' look on his face. "No, I suppose I'm not," she said in an equally cheery voice, gave him one of her best smiles and stomped off back to her quarters with a carton of orange juice in her hand. Lister watched her as she left but she ignored him. She didn't want to be cruel, but if he was going to be like that, she was going to do the same to him.
Dave was laying asleep in her bed. She smiled at him and sat down. It was strange, she thought, how similar they were. It had disturbed her when she had first found herself in this dimension how much Lister liked like Dave. It made her miss him all the more. Over time she had got used to it and it didn't bother her as much, but now things were strange again, and bizarrely the thing that was bothering her was how much Dave looked like Lister.
He yawned, rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up, looking confused. His eyes focused on her and he smiled. "You're really here," he said, "I thought it was another dream, you're really here at last."
Kochanski sat down on the bed next to him and kissed him gently. "I'm really here," she assured him, "and I'm not going anywhere, ever again."