Warning: Bob and Dot fans be warned, stop reading right away. This is the
story you do not want to read. While there is no implied or explicit sexual
content or references to drug use and only mild violence shown, some Reboot
fans will offended. Bob and Dot are not married; instead true love has
seen its natural course. If you want to read humorous story about Megabyte
getting beaten up please read on.
Uncle Megabyte
The difference between a tragedy and a comedy is often very small. In this case best to show instead of tell.
The problem with holidays is this everybody wants to celebrate them no matter what. As a result any shmucks who have to work on said holiday is often inexperienced and feeling sorry for themselves. Because of this less attention is given to detail while on the job. In fact this is what Megabyte was counting on as he planned his escape from the Maximum Security Prison at the Supercomputer.
The hulking chrome skinned virus sat in the now gaily decorated prison cafeteria eating and drinking mainly for show. In the guise of good cheer the guards had gathered the prisoners there for a treat of entertainment, IO shots and food. The real reason was that happy and drunk prisoners are less likely to riot or to plan escapes.
As he ate his food, which was much better than the usual swill these idiots served him he sneered at his fellow prisoners.
"Look at these fools, stuffing and drinking themselves senseless. Once these people were respected and feared. No one would dare deny them anything. Now they gladly accept whatever pitiful scraps that are thrown at them," sneered Megabyte to himself. "Now would be the perfect time to escape. What few guards there are inexperienced and distracted. Instead these idiots play right into the guards hands missing a perfect opportunity."
"Hey Duchess," shouted a blue skinned prisoner. " I said pass the rolls."
Megabyte snapped out of it and handed the roll basket to the sprite. Soon he will be free to settle a score with Bob and his wife.
A few micros later the guards guided the prisoners to their small grey cells. As the force fields flicked on one of the guards looked at him in a strange way.
"I don't like this Megabyte seems far too quiet tonight," said one younger screw to another.
"What do you want to do want watch him all by yourself? In two micros the shift will change and we can exit this trashcan. Let the other shift worry about him, all the prisoners stuffed and drunk there's no way they can escape now," the older more experienced guard.
The younger guard simply shook his head.
"No? Well listen to this we've got monitors in the prisoners' cell. Any change, any interruption in their biosigns and a crack team are in the cell faster than you can say breakout."
Megabyte smirked to himself in his cell and thought about how sweet it would be to get revenge. It was Bob and his then future wife who had put him there. Once he sought to conquer Mainframe but a certain blue skinned guardian stopped him at every turn. The people of Mainframe cast him into the Web in the hopes of destroying him. Instead he returned far more powerful than he ever imagined wrecked havoc with Bob's heart and the system itself.
He chuckled to himself as he thought about the fear and pain he caused. How ironic that Bob's wife was the one to defeat him.
"Right lights out!" ordered the guard.
Now it was time to strike. Making sure the coast was clear he pulled open a panel underneath his bed. It was attached to a maintenance shaft that eventually led to the outside world. He slipped inside and then activated his alias as soon as he left the cell. The alias looked and acted exactly like him it even had the same biosigns. It could be seconds before anyone found out.
Meanwhile on the other side of the system Bob was greeting his guests as they entered the apartment door.
He gave a big smile when he saw the next guest, "Ah Mouse so after all these days you've finally returned to the Supercomputer. It's so good to see you."
Bob guided in Mouse, her husband Ray, a quiet pink skinned man and their young son inside. As soon as the little boy got inside he ran off to find someone to play with. Ray cautioned his son to behave himself.
The purple skinned woman's eyes widened at she looked at the apartment, "Bob, this place is great and -big. How did you manage this? What have you been up to?"
The apartment was large and tastefully decorated in honour of the season. Light jazz music played in the background as formally dressed guests chatted, drank fine wine and ate canapés.
"Well you know my theories about viruses? They turned out to be correct. I'm now teach at the Guardian Academy and I finally got married," he motioned to someone in the well-dressed crowd.
"Well Bob I'm so happy you and Dot have finally settled your-"
"Biscuits anyone?" asked Bob's wife. She was a beautiful white skinned woman with raven black hair and definitely not Dot.
Veins appeared on Mouse's forehead she reached for her sword, which wasn't there, "Hexadecimal?! You married Hexadecimal? She's the most evil creature in the Net, why?"
Bob's wife excused herself to attend to the other guests. She took Ray with her into the crowd. Bob turned to Mouse, "That evil creature saved the entire Net and her last words were that she always loved me."
"But she's random and what about Dot? You loved her."
"Well Dot didn't love me or she wouldn't have organized a wedding while I lay in the hospital dying. And Hex has definitely changed. She came back sane and saved us all from Megabyte. She's proved herself."
"That Bat has about as much chance of changing as she is of winning Miss Congeniality in the Supercomputer beauty contest," snarled Mouse.
"Um Mouse she actually became Miss Congeniality in 1/13."
That last remark shut Mouse up
Down below in the lobby Megabyte scanned the premises. Under normal circumstances there would be fairly tight security, nothing Megabyte couldn't handle but tonight revellers were pouring in and out of the front door. It was perfect. All the virus had to do was march right up to the doorman, say he was Hexadecimal's brother and be lead straight into their party. He would humiliate them before deleting the happy couple and their high society guests. Which from the people entering the lobby were: a code master assassin, several Web riders and half of the Guardian high command.
The virus swore to himself as ducked behind a tree. These people were the deadliest warriors in the Net and Web, figures. No, it was better to wait until after the party. Then he could get revenge. He sat down and made himself comfortable. From the looks of it this could take awhile.
Meanwhile seven stories up Hexadecimal decided to show off.
"Come on darlings, take a look at my garden on the balcony," called out Hexadecimal.
A couple of Web riders, which Bob had to assume, were female because of the cocktail dresses they wore, walked dutifully towards the balcony. When they got there they trilled in genuine delight.
The party went into late into the night, with guests only starting to leave only in the wee hours of the morning. When Megabyte was satisfied all the guests had finally left, he walked straight to the apartment doors. Spam it, the doors were locked and the doorman had gone home. No matter thanks to his sister's grand tour of her pathetic balcony he knew exactly where they lived. So he started climbing.
After what seemed like an eternity the virus had finally reached them. Who would have thought climbing up seven stories was so hard? Gracefully he leapt over the railing and landed right into a cactus patch. As he flailed around getting more cactus spines in him, A small black hairy thing chirped and snarled. Finally the thing leapt at him causing Megabyte to fall off the balcony.
"At least I'll land in some nice soft greenery," thought Megabyte just before he fell into a pile of rosebushes.
After Megabyte landed. Bob walked out to the balcony. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers with little hearts on them. His eyes widened when he saw the ruined cacti.
"Whatzat, bad whatever, come inside," said an irritated Bob. "Hex we got a problem. You'll never guess what happened."
After Megabyte had plucked out all the spines he started climbing again. This time he would avoid the balcony. This time he climbed straight up to the bedroom window of Bob's young daughter and found it shut
He pounded on the window trying to break the glass but it was no good. He tired pushing to window upwards and had managed to open it partway when little Perrigillium awoke. The little girl stepped out of bed and walked towards the window.
Perrigillium appeared to be about three years old. With her silver hair and blue skin, she was the living image of her father, in a white nightgown. She even inherited the golden freckles her father acquired during the time he spent on the Web.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm your Uncle Megabyte," he then added hastily. "I'm little bit late for the party could you open up the window and let me in?"
"I'm too little. I'll go get Daddy," then she shut the door on his fingers and ran out the room.
Megabyte sucked in his breath in an effort not to cry out in pain.
Little Perri ran right up to her father and tried to shake him awake. Her father blearily opened his eyes.
"Dad, Dad there's a monster in my window. Can I have Glitch?" she asked.
Half asleep Bob made not the best decision in the Net, "Sure sweetie, Glitch is on the dresser."
When she got back Megabyte had finally, opened the window and climbed inside. He reared up to full height and let out a roar, just loud enough to frighten a normal little girl.
"I'm the boogie virus and I'm here to take you away," he said as he swished his claws impressively.
Here is natural selection at work. Bob was a Guardian who managed to not only to survive, but also prosper in the dangerous environment of the Web. Hexadecimal had survived for the first half of her life in an environment even more toxic and dangerous than the Web. Both of Perri's parents showed resourcefulness and resilience. It stands to reason that a child produced by these two people would be just as tough.
The little girl merely scowled, "Glitch, hammer," she ordered.
Responding to the little girl's thoughts the key tool turned onto a large brightly coloured hammer with a very long handle. Perri then hit Megabyte again and again with the hammer. Every time she did the hammer squeaked.
Finally Megabyte, swatted the hammer aside. Then the what ever it was latched itself onto Megabyte's arm. It must have been very young, for it had no teeth. Still it was distracting as it viciously gummed the virus.
Finally Megabyte finally pried off the thing and turned his attention to his target. The girl had retrieved Glitch and she stood right in front of him.
"Glitch, tie him up," she ordered.
Energy coils shot out and wrapped the virus from head to toe. Struggling Megabyte lost his balance and fell down like a pile of bricks. Perri grabbed his foot and dragged him a tiny child size set of tables and chair.
She was far stronger than a normal purebred child observed Megabyte as she plunked him on a chair.
"Mommy and Daddy had a party now it's my turn," said Perri.
The next morning Bob woke up with a pounding headache worse for wear, as was the apartment. He would have to clean up later on in the second. As he stumbled into the kitchen for a cup of Java, he noticed how quiet it was, too quiet. Usually Perri would be up watching cartoons. He looked round and what he saw caused him to spit out his Java.
"Hex you better come in here," called out Bob. "Your daughter was playing with the stove again."
Upon hearing this Hex shot out of bed and ran into Perri's room. Then she couldn't help but laugh.
"Forget about that, take a look at this," snorted Hex.
There in the little girl's room sat Megabyte trussed up on a child's chair. On either side of him sat Perri, Glitch, Whatzat and several stuffed animals. The little girl poured a steaming cup of tea with her child size teapot.
"Oh hi Mommy," said Perrigillium as she stuffed a biscuit in Megabyte's mouth. "The boogie virus and I are having a tea party."
"I'll go get Turbo," said Bob. He walked back into the living room and shook a sleeping form from behind the couch. "Turbo get up. Megabyte decided to give us a visit."
Fin
Uncle Megabyte
The difference between a tragedy and a comedy is often very small. In this case best to show instead of tell.
The problem with holidays is this everybody wants to celebrate them no matter what. As a result any shmucks who have to work on said holiday is often inexperienced and feeling sorry for themselves. Because of this less attention is given to detail while on the job. In fact this is what Megabyte was counting on as he planned his escape from the Maximum Security Prison at the Supercomputer.
The hulking chrome skinned virus sat in the now gaily decorated prison cafeteria eating and drinking mainly for show. In the guise of good cheer the guards had gathered the prisoners there for a treat of entertainment, IO shots and food. The real reason was that happy and drunk prisoners are less likely to riot or to plan escapes.
As he ate his food, which was much better than the usual swill these idiots served him he sneered at his fellow prisoners.
"Look at these fools, stuffing and drinking themselves senseless. Once these people were respected and feared. No one would dare deny them anything. Now they gladly accept whatever pitiful scraps that are thrown at them," sneered Megabyte to himself. "Now would be the perfect time to escape. What few guards there are inexperienced and distracted. Instead these idiots play right into the guards hands missing a perfect opportunity."
"Hey Duchess," shouted a blue skinned prisoner. " I said pass the rolls."
Megabyte snapped out of it and handed the roll basket to the sprite. Soon he will be free to settle a score with Bob and his wife.
A few micros later the guards guided the prisoners to their small grey cells. As the force fields flicked on one of the guards looked at him in a strange way.
"I don't like this Megabyte seems far too quiet tonight," said one younger screw to another.
"What do you want to do want watch him all by yourself? In two micros the shift will change and we can exit this trashcan. Let the other shift worry about him, all the prisoners stuffed and drunk there's no way they can escape now," the older more experienced guard.
The younger guard simply shook his head.
"No? Well listen to this we've got monitors in the prisoners' cell. Any change, any interruption in their biosigns and a crack team are in the cell faster than you can say breakout."
Megabyte smirked to himself in his cell and thought about how sweet it would be to get revenge. It was Bob and his then future wife who had put him there. Once he sought to conquer Mainframe but a certain blue skinned guardian stopped him at every turn. The people of Mainframe cast him into the Web in the hopes of destroying him. Instead he returned far more powerful than he ever imagined wrecked havoc with Bob's heart and the system itself.
He chuckled to himself as he thought about the fear and pain he caused. How ironic that Bob's wife was the one to defeat him.
"Right lights out!" ordered the guard.
Now it was time to strike. Making sure the coast was clear he pulled open a panel underneath his bed. It was attached to a maintenance shaft that eventually led to the outside world. He slipped inside and then activated his alias as soon as he left the cell. The alias looked and acted exactly like him it even had the same biosigns. It could be seconds before anyone found out.
Meanwhile on the other side of the system Bob was greeting his guests as they entered the apartment door.
He gave a big smile when he saw the next guest, "Ah Mouse so after all these days you've finally returned to the Supercomputer. It's so good to see you."
Bob guided in Mouse, her husband Ray, a quiet pink skinned man and their young son inside. As soon as the little boy got inside he ran off to find someone to play with. Ray cautioned his son to behave himself.
The purple skinned woman's eyes widened at she looked at the apartment, "Bob, this place is great and -big. How did you manage this? What have you been up to?"
The apartment was large and tastefully decorated in honour of the season. Light jazz music played in the background as formally dressed guests chatted, drank fine wine and ate canapés.
"Well you know my theories about viruses? They turned out to be correct. I'm now teach at the Guardian Academy and I finally got married," he motioned to someone in the well-dressed crowd.
"Well Bob I'm so happy you and Dot have finally settled your-"
"Biscuits anyone?" asked Bob's wife. She was a beautiful white skinned woman with raven black hair and definitely not Dot.
Veins appeared on Mouse's forehead she reached for her sword, which wasn't there, "Hexadecimal?! You married Hexadecimal? She's the most evil creature in the Net, why?"
Bob's wife excused herself to attend to the other guests. She took Ray with her into the crowd. Bob turned to Mouse, "That evil creature saved the entire Net and her last words were that she always loved me."
"But she's random and what about Dot? You loved her."
"Well Dot didn't love me or she wouldn't have organized a wedding while I lay in the hospital dying. And Hex has definitely changed. She came back sane and saved us all from Megabyte. She's proved herself."
"That Bat has about as much chance of changing as she is of winning Miss Congeniality in the Supercomputer beauty contest," snarled Mouse.
"Um Mouse she actually became Miss Congeniality in 1/13."
That last remark shut Mouse up
Down below in the lobby Megabyte scanned the premises. Under normal circumstances there would be fairly tight security, nothing Megabyte couldn't handle but tonight revellers were pouring in and out of the front door. It was perfect. All the virus had to do was march right up to the doorman, say he was Hexadecimal's brother and be lead straight into their party. He would humiliate them before deleting the happy couple and their high society guests. Which from the people entering the lobby were: a code master assassin, several Web riders and half of the Guardian high command.
The virus swore to himself as ducked behind a tree. These people were the deadliest warriors in the Net and Web, figures. No, it was better to wait until after the party. Then he could get revenge. He sat down and made himself comfortable. From the looks of it this could take awhile.
Meanwhile seven stories up Hexadecimal decided to show off.
"Come on darlings, take a look at my garden on the balcony," called out Hexadecimal.
A couple of Web riders, which Bob had to assume, were female because of the cocktail dresses they wore, walked dutifully towards the balcony. When they got there they trilled in genuine delight.
The party went into late into the night, with guests only starting to leave only in the wee hours of the morning. When Megabyte was satisfied all the guests had finally left, he walked straight to the apartment doors. Spam it, the doors were locked and the doorman had gone home. No matter thanks to his sister's grand tour of her pathetic balcony he knew exactly where they lived. So he started climbing.
After what seemed like an eternity the virus had finally reached them. Who would have thought climbing up seven stories was so hard? Gracefully he leapt over the railing and landed right into a cactus patch. As he flailed around getting more cactus spines in him, A small black hairy thing chirped and snarled. Finally the thing leapt at him causing Megabyte to fall off the balcony.
"At least I'll land in some nice soft greenery," thought Megabyte just before he fell into a pile of rosebushes.
After Megabyte landed. Bob walked out to the balcony. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers with little hearts on them. His eyes widened when he saw the ruined cacti.
"Whatzat, bad whatever, come inside," said an irritated Bob. "Hex we got a problem. You'll never guess what happened."
After Megabyte had plucked out all the spines he started climbing again. This time he would avoid the balcony. This time he climbed straight up to the bedroom window of Bob's young daughter and found it shut
He pounded on the window trying to break the glass but it was no good. He tired pushing to window upwards and had managed to open it partway when little Perrigillium awoke. The little girl stepped out of bed and walked towards the window.
Perrigillium appeared to be about three years old. With her silver hair and blue skin, she was the living image of her father, in a white nightgown. She even inherited the golden freckles her father acquired during the time he spent on the Web.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm your Uncle Megabyte," he then added hastily. "I'm little bit late for the party could you open up the window and let me in?"
"I'm too little. I'll go get Daddy," then she shut the door on his fingers and ran out the room.
Megabyte sucked in his breath in an effort not to cry out in pain.
Little Perri ran right up to her father and tried to shake him awake. Her father blearily opened his eyes.
"Dad, Dad there's a monster in my window. Can I have Glitch?" she asked.
Half asleep Bob made not the best decision in the Net, "Sure sweetie, Glitch is on the dresser."
When she got back Megabyte had finally, opened the window and climbed inside. He reared up to full height and let out a roar, just loud enough to frighten a normal little girl.
"I'm the boogie virus and I'm here to take you away," he said as he swished his claws impressively.
Here is natural selection at work. Bob was a Guardian who managed to not only to survive, but also prosper in the dangerous environment of the Web. Hexadecimal had survived for the first half of her life in an environment even more toxic and dangerous than the Web. Both of Perri's parents showed resourcefulness and resilience. It stands to reason that a child produced by these two people would be just as tough.
The little girl merely scowled, "Glitch, hammer," she ordered.
Responding to the little girl's thoughts the key tool turned onto a large brightly coloured hammer with a very long handle. Perri then hit Megabyte again and again with the hammer. Every time she did the hammer squeaked.
Finally Megabyte, swatted the hammer aside. Then the what ever it was latched itself onto Megabyte's arm. It must have been very young, for it had no teeth. Still it was distracting as it viciously gummed the virus.
Finally Megabyte finally pried off the thing and turned his attention to his target. The girl had retrieved Glitch and she stood right in front of him.
"Glitch, tie him up," she ordered.
Energy coils shot out and wrapped the virus from head to toe. Struggling Megabyte lost his balance and fell down like a pile of bricks. Perri grabbed his foot and dragged him a tiny child size set of tables and chair.
She was far stronger than a normal purebred child observed Megabyte as she plunked him on a chair.
"Mommy and Daddy had a party now it's my turn," said Perri.
The next morning Bob woke up with a pounding headache worse for wear, as was the apartment. He would have to clean up later on in the second. As he stumbled into the kitchen for a cup of Java, he noticed how quiet it was, too quiet. Usually Perri would be up watching cartoons. He looked round and what he saw caused him to spit out his Java.
"Hex you better come in here," called out Bob. "Your daughter was playing with the stove again."
Upon hearing this Hex shot out of bed and ran into Perri's room. Then she couldn't help but laugh.
"Forget about that, take a look at this," snorted Hex.
There in the little girl's room sat Megabyte trussed up on a child's chair. On either side of him sat Perri, Glitch, Whatzat and several stuffed animals. The little girl poured a steaming cup of tea with her child size teapot.
"Oh hi Mommy," said Perrigillium as she stuffed a biscuit in Megabyte's mouth. "The boogie virus and I are having a tea party."
"I'll go get Turbo," said Bob. He walked back into the living room and shook a sleeping form from behind the couch. "Turbo get up. Megabyte decided to give us a visit."
Fin