The Touching Conclusion
"This is certainly a strange wedding!" Suboshi laughed.
Yui was wearing a long wedding gown with all sorts of neat embroidery. The train went out behind her seven feet. The thing was, every inch was blue. A pale Seiryuu blue. So was Suboshi's tuxedo. So was everything. The entire church was decorated with blue. The minister (specifically, Miboshi) was wearing blue. The congregation found that as soon as they entered the building, their clothes turned blue.
Yui buried her face in her hands. "Why did we let a blue lizard do the decorating?" came her muffled question.
"Genbu did the catering."
"What colour is our wedding cake?"
"Green, and please stop crying Yui-sama."
She grinned. "Just kidding around. I'm not really that upset. We're certainly breaking traditions though."
"Suzaku is in charge of the ceremony."
"Oh?"
"And Byakko did the flowers."
"Well, they're nice. White roses and gardenias. My favorites."
"You have excellent taste."
"Why thank you, Suboshi."
"Of course, Yui-sama. Anyway, we'll have to wait until Miboshi reads the service to see what Suzaku has done."
"All right." Yui moved forward, with six Nyan-nyans holding her blue train, and placed the blue veil over her hair. "Let's find out."
"Yui-sama, you're great!"
"Wait till you've been married for a year," Miboshi said quietly. "Then you may think differently." Suboshi tossed ryuuseisui carelessly at him.
"Hey! No killing the priest!!"
"Fine, fine."
Amiboshi sighed. He could just imagine what this would look like to anyone who passed: a boy in a kimono stripped to his waist, standing on Suzaku Seven's lunch table. At this thought, he sat down, carefully, so as not to sit in the teriyaki platter.
"So you see. I'm not really a girl."
Tamahome's eyes began to water. "COMFORT!!!!! I need COMFORT!!!!!"
"Go away." Nuriko shoved him away. "It's your fault for jilting Miaka!"
"I didn't JILT Miaka!!"
"What would you call it then? Ditching her? Breaking up a flowering relationship? Face it, Tama-boy, you jilted her."
Tasuki glared. "How dare ya trick us?! I can't believe it! Chichiri, why didn't ya figure it out?"
"Gomen Tasuki no da!! I don't think you wanted to find out though no da."
"Wait…" Tasuki suddenly started. But he was interrupted by Nuriko, who was pleased to meet (he thought) a fellow cross-dresser
"So I AM still gay!" he laughed. "Well, kiddo, you're a bit too young for me, aren't you?" He ruffled Amiboshi's hair affectionately. "Wow! Cross-dressing is convincing, and I'm not the only one who practices it. Hey, I'm glad to meet a fellow practitioner!! Sorry we had to break your act. We won't tell, you know."
"Thanks. My brother is going to die laughing about this. I never expected anyone to really fall for me," Amiboshi said, not bothering to tell Nuriko he didn't practice cross-dressing.
"Now that that's all done with, tell me… What type of lipstick do you use? Where do you buy your clothes? Is it easy for you to hide it from other women? C'mon, tell all! It's not often I meet another one of my kind!"
"Nuriko, cut it out," Tasuki muttered.
"Yeah, all you can think of is how cool this is, what about us? We've all just lost the girl we love."
"Logically not. Since "she" never was a girl!"
"Evil logic."
"Anyway, I'm sorry, kiddo, that we upset you so much. See," he whispered conspiratorially, "All these men are idiots. All men are, but these men are more idiotic than most."
"But aren't you?"
"I have the body of a man, but the soul of a woman!!"
"Okay…"
"I must apologize as well. My heart belongs to Tama-neko, and no one else."
"Mitsukake, get a grip," Nuriko said.
"And we apologize too. We will always *sniffle* fall in love with girls we can't have, we think."
"Aw, Heika, I loves you!! You're my first and only crush!!!" he reassured the monarch as he huggled him
Chiriko looked depressed. His first ever love was a man. He wondered aloud if there was a scientific explanation for this. And if there was any way to make a man into a woman.
"Chiriko, don't you dare start experimenting on me!! Oh, Chichiri, I should give you back your comb." Amiboshi reached to take it out of his hair, but the monk stayed his hand.
"No, no, you keep it no da! I want it that way to remind me that I'm a baka no da! As a monk, I'm supposed to observe celibacy no da," he laughed.
Meanwhile, Tasuki was doing some thinking. He knew his once-crush had seemed familiar. Finally he had it.
"Yer Amiboshi!!"
Amiboshi turned to him. "Yeah, that's right."
"Well, yer a Seiryuu seishi!!"
"No, I'm not. Tamahome-kun conducted a ceremony that made me the eighth Suzaku no seishi."
"He did?" Tasuki looked surprised
"I did?" Tamahome looked more surprised
"Back in second season episode 39, before the OVA and the omake. You Said that I Was One Of You Guys. And with that sentence, every single Amiboshi fangirl who had been in denial about me being on the Seiryuu side automatically theorized that this made me a Suzaku seishi, and one of the good guys."
"Oh." Tamahome blinked
"Yeah. So I'm on your side."
"Oh, okay. Hi, Amiboshi, Suzaku no seishi."
"Hi to you too, Tasuki, Suzaku no seishi."
"You guys are acting like idiots." Nuriko groaned
"Sure we are, got a problem with it?"
"No, no...Only, Ami, mind coming with me now? We have to have that discussion about our cross-dressing styles now, okay?" Nuriko did not wait for an answer but dragged him out of the room.
They soon found out how Suzaku had warped their wedding
"Hongo Yui, do you take this chicken to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"WHAT? Me? A chicken? How dare you, pinky??"
"He dare. Suboshi, just calm down, once this is over we'll be married, and we can go settle down in that little house in the country that you've got now."
"Okay, Yui-sama."
"Remind me again how much they're paying you to marry yo-yo boy?" Miboshi asked. Suboshi twirled ryuuseisui threateningly at him. "Well I want to know!! What's the harm in me asking her?" Miboshi demanded.
"Don't kill the priest, don't kill the priest!!!!" Yui held him back. "If you kill the priest we can't get married!!"
"All right, I won't hurt him until after the service."
"I wish your brother could have done the music," Yui said to distract him.
"Yeah, but he's in Konan."
"No, actually, I'm not."
Suboshi whipped around to find Amiboshi looking at him from the doorway to the church. He was wearing a blue kimono that was undone down the front, and he didn't look particularly thrilled.
"A-aniki!"
"Shun-chan, I - I," he began to fake sob, "I have been HUMILIATED!!!!!!! How could you do that to me?"
"So - Sorry, aniki. I take it things worked out then."
"Yes. But not just Mitsukake!! Every single censored Suzaku seishi!!!"
"Including Tama-boy?"
"Including Tama-boy."
"Woo-hoo!! Did my cameraman come with you? I hope he captured the moment!!"
"So, you WERE taping me for blackmail!!!!"
"Oh no."
"Anyway, I've been emotionally traumatized. And you're the one who's gonna pay for the therapy! That darned cross-dresser made me discuss fashion with him!!"
"Weren't you glad to meet a fellow cross-dresser then?" Suboshi asked innocently.
Amiboshi began to get a dangerous look on his face.
Yui quickly whispered something in Suboshi's ear.
"Yeah, great idea, Yui-sama!!" he turned to Amiboshi, "Aniki, we'd really love it if you'd play the music for the wedding!! Do you think you could? Please? You're such a good player! (Especially with the Suzaku men)"
"Ahem."
"I mean, such a good flutist!"
"Well…if you really want me too."
"Of course I do!! And the videos will be a family heirloom!! We'll pass them down for comic relief throughout the course of history."
"Shuuuun!!!"
"Don't worry! But I can watch them with Yui-sama after the wedding?"
"Sure, sure."
"If only this was a double wedding."
"It could be."
"Hmmmm…. Is that legal?"
"Probably."
"All right then!! But first, you guys get married!!"
So as Amiboshi began to play Wedding March on the flute, Suboshi and Yui continued the service.
"Do you take this chicken to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"You have no idea how irritating this is, but I do."
"Do you take this pullet to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"You find it irritating? I don't think you're poultry Yui-sama, trust me! But I do."
"You may now kiss the bride."
Amiboshi raised his flute to his lips.
Suboshi waved at his brother as he kissed Yui. Amiboshi gave him a little wave too, as he gently kissed the flute. Suboshi winked.
"Congratulations on your wedding!"
"You too, Shun."
Meanwhile, seven seishi of Suzaku sat around dismally, and missed their crush.
Except Tama-boy. He and Miaka got back together.
And Chichiri. He returned to his fishing with no regrets
And of course Chiriko became too wrapped up in his studies to worry about it.
And Tasuki went back to his first and greatest love: The tessen
And Mitsukake sank into his happy world of Tama-neko and herbal study.
And Nuriko and Hotohori started dating.
Okay, so I lied. None of the Suzaku seishi missed Kin-yuki. Oh well. However, they did create a happy ending, so give them a big round of applause.
And Yui and Suboshi lived very happily in their little house in the country. And they had lots of blonde, yoyo-obsessed children
Amiboshi and his flute divorced after a couple of months (she wasn't very receptive), but they were able to continue on as friends, even when Ami decided to get a girlfriend.
And the gods got un-dubbed. Eventually.
But everyone always called Taiitsukun Sunkake Baba, because she is one!!!
And she destroyed the author, because she was bored one weekend.
I am the author's cat, and I will take the liberty of saying
The End!!!
P.S. The author said ask people to r+r
"This is certainly a strange wedding!" Suboshi laughed.
Yui was wearing a long wedding gown with all sorts of neat embroidery. The train went out behind her seven feet. The thing was, every inch was blue. A pale Seiryuu blue. So was Suboshi's tuxedo. So was everything. The entire church was decorated with blue. The minister (specifically, Miboshi) was wearing blue. The congregation found that as soon as they entered the building, their clothes turned blue.
Yui buried her face in her hands. "Why did we let a blue lizard do the decorating?" came her muffled question.
"Genbu did the catering."
"What colour is our wedding cake?"
"Green, and please stop crying Yui-sama."
She grinned. "Just kidding around. I'm not really that upset. We're certainly breaking traditions though."
"Suzaku is in charge of the ceremony."
"Oh?"
"And Byakko did the flowers."
"Well, they're nice. White roses and gardenias. My favorites."
"You have excellent taste."
"Why thank you, Suboshi."
"Of course, Yui-sama. Anyway, we'll have to wait until Miboshi reads the service to see what Suzaku has done."
"All right." Yui moved forward, with six Nyan-nyans holding her blue train, and placed the blue veil over her hair. "Let's find out."
"Yui-sama, you're great!"
"Wait till you've been married for a year," Miboshi said quietly. "Then you may think differently." Suboshi tossed ryuuseisui carelessly at him.
"Hey! No killing the priest!!"
"Fine, fine."
Amiboshi sighed. He could just imagine what this would look like to anyone who passed: a boy in a kimono stripped to his waist, standing on Suzaku Seven's lunch table. At this thought, he sat down, carefully, so as not to sit in the teriyaki platter.
"So you see. I'm not really a girl."
Tamahome's eyes began to water. "COMFORT!!!!! I need COMFORT!!!!!"
"Go away." Nuriko shoved him away. "It's your fault for jilting Miaka!"
"I didn't JILT Miaka!!"
"What would you call it then? Ditching her? Breaking up a flowering relationship? Face it, Tama-boy, you jilted her."
Tasuki glared. "How dare ya trick us?! I can't believe it! Chichiri, why didn't ya figure it out?"
"Gomen Tasuki no da!! I don't think you wanted to find out though no da."
"Wait…" Tasuki suddenly started. But he was interrupted by Nuriko, who was pleased to meet (he thought) a fellow cross-dresser
"So I AM still gay!" he laughed. "Well, kiddo, you're a bit too young for me, aren't you?" He ruffled Amiboshi's hair affectionately. "Wow! Cross-dressing is convincing, and I'm not the only one who practices it. Hey, I'm glad to meet a fellow practitioner!! Sorry we had to break your act. We won't tell, you know."
"Thanks. My brother is going to die laughing about this. I never expected anyone to really fall for me," Amiboshi said, not bothering to tell Nuriko he didn't practice cross-dressing.
"Now that that's all done with, tell me… What type of lipstick do you use? Where do you buy your clothes? Is it easy for you to hide it from other women? C'mon, tell all! It's not often I meet another one of my kind!"
"Nuriko, cut it out," Tasuki muttered.
"Yeah, all you can think of is how cool this is, what about us? We've all just lost the girl we love."
"Logically not. Since "she" never was a girl!"
"Evil logic."
"Anyway, I'm sorry, kiddo, that we upset you so much. See," he whispered conspiratorially, "All these men are idiots. All men are, but these men are more idiotic than most."
"But aren't you?"
"I have the body of a man, but the soul of a woman!!"
"Okay…"
"I must apologize as well. My heart belongs to Tama-neko, and no one else."
"Mitsukake, get a grip," Nuriko said.
"And we apologize too. We will always *sniffle* fall in love with girls we can't have, we think."
"Aw, Heika, I loves you!! You're my first and only crush!!!" he reassured the monarch as he huggled him
Chiriko looked depressed. His first ever love was a man. He wondered aloud if there was a scientific explanation for this. And if there was any way to make a man into a woman.
"Chiriko, don't you dare start experimenting on me!! Oh, Chichiri, I should give you back your comb." Amiboshi reached to take it out of his hair, but the monk stayed his hand.
"No, no, you keep it no da! I want it that way to remind me that I'm a baka no da! As a monk, I'm supposed to observe celibacy no da," he laughed.
Meanwhile, Tasuki was doing some thinking. He knew his once-crush had seemed familiar. Finally he had it.
"Yer Amiboshi!!"
Amiboshi turned to him. "Yeah, that's right."
"Well, yer a Seiryuu seishi!!"
"No, I'm not. Tamahome-kun conducted a ceremony that made me the eighth Suzaku no seishi."
"He did?" Tasuki looked surprised
"I did?" Tamahome looked more surprised
"Back in second season episode 39, before the OVA and the omake. You Said that I Was One Of You Guys. And with that sentence, every single Amiboshi fangirl who had been in denial about me being on the Seiryuu side automatically theorized that this made me a Suzaku seishi, and one of the good guys."
"Oh." Tamahome blinked
"Yeah. So I'm on your side."
"Oh, okay. Hi, Amiboshi, Suzaku no seishi."
"Hi to you too, Tasuki, Suzaku no seishi."
"You guys are acting like idiots." Nuriko groaned
"Sure we are, got a problem with it?"
"No, no...Only, Ami, mind coming with me now? We have to have that discussion about our cross-dressing styles now, okay?" Nuriko did not wait for an answer but dragged him out of the room.
They soon found out how Suzaku had warped their wedding
"Hongo Yui, do you take this chicken to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"WHAT? Me? A chicken? How dare you, pinky??"
"He dare. Suboshi, just calm down, once this is over we'll be married, and we can go settle down in that little house in the country that you've got now."
"Okay, Yui-sama."
"Remind me again how much they're paying you to marry yo-yo boy?" Miboshi asked. Suboshi twirled ryuuseisui threateningly at him. "Well I want to know!! What's the harm in me asking her?" Miboshi demanded.
"Don't kill the priest, don't kill the priest!!!!" Yui held him back. "If you kill the priest we can't get married!!"
"All right, I won't hurt him until after the service."
"I wish your brother could have done the music," Yui said to distract him.
"Yeah, but he's in Konan."
"No, actually, I'm not."
Suboshi whipped around to find Amiboshi looking at him from the doorway to the church. He was wearing a blue kimono that was undone down the front, and he didn't look particularly thrilled.
"A-aniki!"
"Shun-chan, I - I," he began to fake sob, "I have been HUMILIATED!!!!!!! How could you do that to me?"
"So - Sorry, aniki. I take it things worked out then."
"Yes. But not just Mitsukake!! Every single censored Suzaku seishi!!!"
"Including Tama-boy?"
"Including Tama-boy."
"Woo-hoo!! Did my cameraman come with you? I hope he captured the moment!!"
"So, you WERE taping me for blackmail!!!!"
"Oh no."
"Anyway, I've been emotionally traumatized. And you're the one who's gonna pay for the therapy! That darned cross-dresser made me discuss fashion with him!!"
"Weren't you glad to meet a fellow cross-dresser then?" Suboshi asked innocently.
Amiboshi began to get a dangerous look on his face.
Yui quickly whispered something in Suboshi's ear.
"Yeah, great idea, Yui-sama!!" he turned to Amiboshi, "Aniki, we'd really love it if you'd play the music for the wedding!! Do you think you could? Please? You're such a good player! (Especially with the Suzaku men)"
"Ahem."
"I mean, such a good flutist!"
"Well…if you really want me too."
"Of course I do!! And the videos will be a family heirloom!! We'll pass them down for comic relief throughout the course of history."
"Shuuuun!!!"
"Don't worry! But I can watch them with Yui-sama after the wedding?"
"Sure, sure."
"If only this was a double wedding."
"It could be."
"Hmmmm…. Is that legal?"
"Probably."
"All right then!! But first, you guys get married!!"
So as Amiboshi began to play Wedding March on the flute, Suboshi and Yui continued the service.
"Do you take this chicken to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"You have no idea how irritating this is, but I do."
"Do you take this pullet to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"You find it irritating? I don't think you're poultry Yui-sama, trust me! But I do."
"You may now kiss the bride."
Amiboshi raised his flute to his lips.
Suboshi waved at his brother as he kissed Yui. Amiboshi gave him a little wave too, as he gently kissed the flute. Suboshi winked.
"Congratulations on your wedding!"
"You too, Shun."
Meanwhile, seven seishi of Suzaku sat around dismally, and missed their crush.
Except Tama-boy. He and Miaka got back together.
And Chichiri. He returned to his fishing with no regrets
And of course Chiriko became too wrapped up in his studies to worry about it.
And Tasuki went back to his first and greatest love: The tessen
And Mitsukake sank into his happy world of Tama-neko and herbal study.
And Nuriko and Hotohori started dating.
Okay, so I lied. None of the Suzaku seishi missed Kin-yuki. Oh well. However, they did create a happy ending, so give them a big round of applause.
And Yui and Suboshi lived very happily in their little house in the country. And they had lots of blonde, yoyo-obsessed children
Amiboshi and his flute divorced after a couple of months (she wasn't very receptive), but they were able to continue on as friends, even when Ami decided to get a girlfriend.
And the gods got un-dubbed. Eventually.
But everyone always called Taiitsukun Sunkake Baba, because she is one!!!
And she destroyed the author, because she was bored one weekend.
I am the author's cat, and I will take the liberty of saying
The End!!!
P.S. The author said ask people to r+r