Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please don't sue me!
Lost Angel: Little kids suck their thumbs, don't they? Anyway, even if they don't, I thought Estel ought to, because he's really just a little kid. You haven't got long to wait, but there isn't much dreamy sigh material.
Vana Burke obviously not logged in: Thanks! And honestly I don't believe in evil, that was just a joke. Glad you liked it!
Da twickstar: "Biscuit", there's a new one. I've heard puppy, dog, and various other things ranging from "teddy bear" to "king of Gondor", but food items are new. Yes! Go Estel! Or maybe he won't "show 'em what it means to be human", that part is as of yet uncertain.
Kawaii Blue Bear: Well. . .I. . .but he. . .I'm just telling it like it is, right, Estel? Estel: I would rather not answer that. Ack! Kawaii is strangling me! Don't hug so hard!! Me: Don't worry, Estel, you won't die for another 200 years or so. Estel: How do you know that? Me: Because. . .
Kaimelieamin: Haven't read Tarzan but I know someone who has (that means you, Smea, if you're reading this!) And yeah, I'm pretty sure they are half- Elves, but to Estel, being such a young child there is no difference.
Ciria: Don't worry about Estel, Legolas will set him straight.
Lutris: Well, he already knows Legolas--he just is looking for him.
Dream Catcher: He's not old, he's seven. That's like half your age, in case you forgot! And that was more like. . .like that little voice in your head that tells you the things you don't want to hear. And no more sugar for you, lollipops or ice cream! Seriously, you go bonkers! Just kidding.
Thanks everyone who took the time to review! And those of you who didn't **glares** . . .
"Elrohir. Elrohir!" Elladan shook his brother urgently. "Elrohir, wake up!" His voice was full of tears.
"What is it?" Elrohir asked. The sun shone brightly over their wet bodies, and birds sang merrily.
"He's gone. We're not going to find him now, 'Ro. We were just closing our eyes. . .just resting our eyes for a few moments, right? Just. . .just resting. . ." he trailed off as tears sprang to his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
"Elladan, it will be all right. Come on, hold yourself together. We had better go tell Ada we're all right, and then we can keep up our search." Elrohir got to his feet. Elladan watched him, questioning. "Ada will be worried, Elladan. About us, as well as about Estel. For whom we can do little now. . .
*****
Something caught the Elf's eye. It was out of his line of vision, but just out of the corner of his gaze did he see something, a small thing, shivering beneath a tree. It did not look like any woodland creature he knew. Dismounting, Legolas approached with caution. When he realized that it was no woodland creature but Estel, he knelt beside the young human.
Estel was soaking wet and freezing cold. He shivered and shook, and was hardly aware of his surroundings. He felt himself being lifted and wrapped in someone's cloak, and he pushed away, thinking it must be one of his brothers. "Hey there, shh, calm down, little one. It's all right, it's just me. Do you remember me, Estel?" It was not one of his brothers' voices. Looking up, Estel saw that it was none other than Legolas Greenleaf as had found him.
"Legolas!" He said, hugging onto the Elf. This was not quite the reacting Legolas had expected, but it was better than Estel's protests and kicking to get free. He was worried, however, by Estel's inability to stay still. The boy must be ill, he concluded.
"What are you doing this far from Rivendell? Your brothers and your Ada must be worried sick about you!" The expression "worried sick" had always seemed curious to Legolas, who knew Elves did not get sick, but he had spent time with Men and had gotten the expression from them. "I'll take you back. Were you lost?"
"No, I wasn't lost!" Estel practically yelled. He had regained some strength now, perhaps through adrenaline. "Elves don't get lost! And they aren't my Ada and my brothers! And you can't take me to Rivendell! I can't go back until I'm an Elf!"
Legolas stopped at these protests, suddenly comprehending with even more question than before what had happened. He set Estel down on the ground and knelt at eye level with the boy. "Estel, why can you not return to Rivendell?" he asked slowly.
"I can return," he was calmer now, and sniffed to keep his nose from running. "Just I have to be an Elf before I do."
"Why in all Middle-Earth would you say that, Estel? Surely no one told you these things."
"Well. . .I just know them, that's all that matters, isn't it? Being an Elf? Wouldn't it make everything better, much, much better if I were an Elf? Wouldn't people be less disappointed with me if I were Elven?"
"Estel," Legolas said, very slow and careful with his words. "I think you need to tell me everything that's happened." Estel would not meet Legolas's gaze. His eyes slid to the side, and he kept silent. "Estel," Legolas said, employing his little-used tone of authority. "Tell me right now." Estel looked at him, lip quivering, then started bawling. He just stood, crying, as if suddenly everything was different, maybe better, maybe worse, but not the same, and it hurt that it had changed.
"It's all right," Legolas assured him, "no one's mad at you, Estel. No one's disappointed at all." Estel may have heard, may not have, but he kept on sobbing. Legolas doubted his words were getting through to the boy, so he hugged him. Legolas remembered the darkness, the fear, and after it all just the simplest comfort of being hugged, and feeling so safe and secure. Estel's sobs receded slowly. He wriggled out of Legolas's grasp and dried his eyes on his fists.
"But they are disappointed," Estel said. "All of them."
Something about the way he said it, his tone, perhaps his belief, sent a shudder through Legolas. "Can you tell me the whole story?"
Estel sniffed again and nodded. "I ran away to learn to be an Elf. I thought if I could reach Mirkwood you could teach me what it means to be Elven. I thought if I was an Elf Ada and Elrohir and Elladan and. . .and everyone, they wouldn't be so disappointed because I wouldn't be. . .a disappointment. All the other children, they aren't like me. They don't fall out of trees or trip or crash through the bushes. When I'm an Elf I'll be like them, and then it will be all right because Ada won't be disappointed with an Elf son and Elladan and Elrohir won't mind an Elf brother. That's why you have to teach me how to be an Elf!"
For minutes there were no words. Legolas ran a hand over Estel's ear, round, not pointed. "You are no Elf, Estel," he began.
"But if you would teach me!"
"There is nothing I can teach you but this. You are no Elf, Estel," he repeated. Estel looked as if he might cry again. "Be proud of that! You never will be Elven. Stand up and be proud of that! It is part of who you are. Never deny that part of you."
"But. . .but if I were an Elf then Ada--"
"Lord Elrond does not care that you are no Elf. You are his son. Perhaps not by birth, but what does that change? If you were an Elf you still would not be his son by birth. Your brothers and your Ada love you very much, Estel. That is why you must go back to them."
Estel opened his mouth, then closed it. "Legolas," he whispered. "I think I've made a mistake."
"That I can help you with," Legolas assured him, "because it is part of growing up."
*****
Half the Elves in Rivendell were searching for this child. Elladan and Elrohir had been looking all day, and both were nearly ready to admit defeat. They gazed longingly at the lights lit in the Last Homely House. They loved their brother, and they wanted him to be safe, but they were not magical beings. Even they must rest at some point.
"Elladan, let's just go back home. We will not find him. Look, the stars shine on us. It is more like that he will come home on his own than that we will find him out here."
Elladan bit his lip. He saw the reason in his brother's words. "Just a few more minutes."
Elrohir sighed, but complied.
*****
"Legolas," Estel asked softly.
"Hm?" Legolas was a bit surprised, having thought that Estel was already asleep. Judging by his voice, he would be in minutes.
"How many stars are there?" his eyes gazed upwards, watching the marvelous points of light.
"Promise not to tell anyone? This is a secret. Do I have your word?"
"On my honour!"
Legolas leaned closer to Estel, and whispered in his ear, "I don't know."
Estel fell asleep in minutes after that, lulled by the motion of the horse trotting. Behind him Legolas sat, not tired in the least, gazing ahead. His destination of Imladris was only a few minutes' ride away. Estel's head rolled to one side, and Legolas saw that the boy was sucking his thumb. Legolas was worried that the child was ill, but he did not say anything.
Arriving in Rivendell, Legolas dismounted carefully. Estel managed not to fall off. Legolas gently lifted the small boy down from the saddle. Estel hardly seemed to notice, but he curled towards Legolas. "You are heavier than I thought," Legolas whispered, carrying the sleeping child inside.
Elrond did not hear Legolas enter his study. Indeed he had forgotten entirely that the Elven prince was coming to visit the twins. "Lord Elrond, I believe you lost this," Legolas said. Elrond looked up, at first annoyed, and the greatly relieved.
"You found him," he observed, taking the child from Legolas. Legolas was glad for this, and he relaxed hi arms. "Is he all right? Where was he?"
"He should be fine now, perhaps ill. I was unsure. I only just found him this morning, he was outside during the rainstorm. He was far, for so young a child."
Elrond began to reply, but stopped and looked at Estel curiously. Estel's eyes had opened for a moment, but now he squeezed them shut. He looked most unnatural, and his eyelids betrayed the movement within. "You are awake."
Estel felt dread again now. He dared open his eyes. "Are you terribly angry?" he asked quietly.
"No, little one. Not now that you're safe."
Aw, sap. . .anyway, that is not the last chapter! There should be one more after this. Does everybody like it so far?
Lost Angel: Little kids suck their thumbs, don't they? Anyway, even if they don't, I thought Estel ought to, because he's really just a little kid. You haven't got long to wait, but there isn't much dreamy sigh material.
Vana Burke obviously not logged in: Thanks! And honestly I don't believe in evil, that was just a joke. Glad you liked it!
Da twickstar: "Biscuit", there's a new one. I've heard puppy, dog, and various other things ranging from "teddy bear" to "king of Gondor", but food items are new. Yes! Go Estel! Or maybe he won't "show 'em what it means to be human", that part is as of yet uncertain.
Kawaii Blue Bear: Well. . .I. . .but he. . .I'm just telling it like it is, right, Estel? Estel: I would rather not answer that. Ack! Kawaii is strangling me! Don't hug so hard!! Me: Don't worry, Estel, you won't die for another 200 years or so. Estel: How do you know that? Me: Because. . .
Kaimelieamin: Haven't read Tarzan but I know someone who has (that means you, Smea, if you're reading this!) And yeah, I'm pretty sure they are half- Elves, but to Estel, being such a young child there is no difference.
Ciria: Don't worry about Estel, Legolas will set him straight.
Lutris: Well, he already knows Legolas--he just is looking for him.
Dream Catcher: He's not old, he's seven. That's like half your age, in case you forgot! And that was more like. . .like that little voice in your head that tells you the things you don't want to hear. And no more sugar for you, lollipops or ice cream! Seriously, you go bonkers! Just kidding.
Thanks everyone who took the time to review! And those of you who didn't **glares** . . .
"Elrohir. Elrohir!" Elladan shook his brother urgently. "Elrohir, wake up!" His voice was full of tears.
"What is it?" Elrohir asked. The sun shone brightly over their wet bodies, and birds sang merrily.
"He's gone. We're not going to find him now, 'Ro. We were just closing our eyes. . .just resting our eyes for a few moments, right? Just. . .just resting. . ." he trailed off as tears sprang to his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
"Elladan, it will be all right. Come on, hold yourself together. We had better go tell Ada we're all right, and then we can keep up our search." Elrohir got to his feet. Elladan watched him, questioning. "Ada will be worried, Elladan. About us, as well as about Estel. For whom we can do little now. . .
*****
Something caught the Elf's eye. It was out of his line of vision, but just out of the corner of his gaze did he see something, a small thing, shivering beneath a tree. It did not look like any woodland creature he knew. Dismounting, Legolas approached with caution. When he realized that it was no woodland creature but Estel, he knelt beside the young human.
Estel was soaking wet and freezing cold. He shivered and shook, and was hardly aware of his surroundings. He felt himself being lifted and wrapped in someone's cloak, and he pushed away, thinking it must be one of his brothers. "Hey there, shh, calm down, little one. It's all right, it's just me. Do you remember me, Estel?" It was not one of his brothers' voices. Looking up, Estel saw that it was none other than Legolas Greenleaf as had found him.
"Legolas!" He said, hugging onto the Elf. This was not quite the reacting Legolas had expected, but it was better than Estel's protests and kicking to get free. He was worried, however, by Estel's inability to stay still. The boy must be ill, he concluded.
"What are you doing this far from Rivendell? Your brothers and your Ada must be worried sick about you!" The expression "worried sick" had always seemed curious to Legolas, who knew Elves did not get sick, but he had spent time with Men and had gotten the expression from them. "I'll take you back. Were you lost?"
"No, I wasn't lost!" Estel practically yelled. He had regained some strength now, perhaps through adrenaline. "Elves don't get lost! And they aren't my Ada and my brothers! And you can't take me to Rivendell! I can't go back until I'm an Elf!"
Legolas stopped at these protests, suddenly comprehending with even more question than before what had happened. He set Estel down on the ground and knelt at eye level with the boy. "Estel, why can you not return to Rivendell?" he asked slowly.
"I can return," he was calmer now, and sniffed to keep his nose from running. "Just I have to be an Elf before I do."
"Why in all Middle-Earth would you say that, Estel? Surely no one told you these things."
"Well. . .I just know them, that's all that matters, isn't it? Being an Elf? Wouldn't it make everything better, much, much better if I were an Elf? Wouldn't people be less disappointed with me if I were Elven?"
"Estel," Legolas said, very slow and careful with his words. "I think you need to tell me everything that's happened." Estel would not meet Legolas's gaze. His eyes slid to the side, and he kept silent. "Estel," Legolas said, employing his little-used tone of authority. "Tell me right now." Estel looked at him, lip quivering, then started bawling. He just stood, crying, as if suddenly everything was different, maybe better, maybe worse, but not the same, and it hurt that it had changed.
"It's all right," Legolas assured him, "no one's mad at you, Estel. No one's disappointed at all." Estel may have heard, may not have, but he kept on sobbing. Legolas doubted his words were getting through to the boy, so he hugged him. Legolas remembered the darkness, the fear, and after it all just the simplest comfort of being hugged, and feeling so safe and secure. Estel's sobs receded slowly. He wriggled out of Legolas's grasp and dried his eyes on his fists.
"But they are disappointed," Estel said. "All of them."
Something about the way he said it, his tone, perhaps his belief, sent a shudder through Legolas. "Can you tell me the whole story?"
Estel sniffed again and nodded. "I ran away to learn to be an Elf. I thought if I could reach Mirkwood you could teach me what it means to be Elven. I thought if I was an Elf Ada and Elrohir and Elladan and. . .and everyone, they wouldn't be so disappointed because I wouldn't be. . .a disappointment. All the other children, they aren't like me. They don't fall out of trees or trip or crash through the bushes. When I'm an Elf I'll be like them, and then it will be all right because Ada won't be disappointed with an Elf son and Elladan and Elrohir won't mind an Elf brother. That's why you have to teach me how to be an Elf!"
For minutes there were no words. Legolas ran a hand over Estel's ear, round, not pointed. "You are no Elf, Estel," he began.
"But if you would teach me!"
"There is nothing I can teach you but this. You are no Elf, Estel," he repeated. Estel looked as if he might cry again. "Be proud of that! You never will be Elven. Stand up and be proud of that! It is part of who you are. Never deny that part of you."
"But. . .but if I were an Elf then Ada--"
"Lord Elrond does not care that you are no Elf. You are his son. Perhaps not by birth, but what does that change? If you were an Elf you still would not be his son by birth. Your brothers and your Ada love you very much, Estel. That is why you must go back to them."
Estel opened his mouth, then closed it. "Legolas," he whispered. "I think I've made a mistake."
"That I can help you with," Legolas assured him, "because it is part of growing up."
*****
Half the Elves in Rivendell were searching for this child. Elladan and Elrohir had been looking all day, and both were nearly ready to admit defeat. They gazed longingly at the lights lit in the Last Homely House. They loved their brother, and they wanted him to be safe, but they were not magical beings. Even they must rest at some point.
"Elladan, let's just go back home. We will not find him. Look, the stars shine on us. It is more like that he will come home on his own than that we will find him out here."
Elladan bit his lip. He saw the reason in his brother's words. "Just a few more minutes."
Elrohir sighed, but complied.
*****
"Legolas," Estel asked softly.
"Hm?" Legolas was a bit surprised, having thought that Estel was already asleep. Judging by his voice, he would be in minutes.
"How many stars are there?" his eyes gazed upwards, watching the marvelous points of light.
"Promise not to tell anyone? This is a secret. Do I have your word?"
"On my honour!"
Legolas leaned closer to Estel, and whispered in his ear, "I don't know."
Estel fell asleep in minutes after that, lulled by the motion of the horse trotting. Behind him Legolas sat, not tired in the least, gazing ahead. His destination of Imladris was only a few minutes' ride away. Estel's head rolled to one side, and Legolas saw that the boy was sucking his thumb. Legolas was worried that the child was ill, but he did not say anything.
Arriving in Rivendell, Legolas dismounted carefully. Estel managed not to fall off. Legolas gently lifted the small boy down from the saddle. Estel hardly seemed to notice, but he curled towards Legolas. "You are heavier than I thought," Legolas whispered, carrying the sleeping child inside.
Elrond did not hear Legolas enter his study. Indeed he had forgotten entirely that the Elven prince was coming to visit the twins. "Lord Elrond, I believe you lost this," Legolas said. Elrond looked up, at first annoyed, and the greatly relieved.
"You found him," he observed, taking the child from Legolas. Legolas was glad for this, and he relaxed hi arms. "Is he all right? Where was he?"
"He should be fine now, perhaps ill. I was unsure. I only just found him this morning, he was outside during the rainstorm. He was far, for so young a child."
Elrond began to reply, but stopped and looked at Estel curiously. Estel's eyes had opened for a moment, but now he squeezed them shut. He looked most unnatural, and his eyelids betrayed the movement within. "You are awake."
Estel felt dread again now. He dared open his eyes. "Are you terribly angry?" he asked quietly.
"No, little one. Not now that you're safe."
Aw, sap. . .anyway, that is not the last chapter! There should be one more after this. Does everybody like it so far?